Spacebar
“Whatdoesthatbiglongthingatthebottomofthekeyboarddo?”
“Whoooa!Thislongthingatthebottomofthekeyboard'ssurenice!”
“That'swhatshesaid”
“That'swhereIwenttocelebratetheApolloMissions.”
“ ”
“Help!Myspacebarisbroken!”
“Hey!_A_new_use_for_the_underscore_key!”
“Ohno!Thatbroketoo!”
TheSpaceBar[edit]
T h e S p a c e b a r , a . k . a . t h e C o s m i c p u b i s a s o r t o f i n t e r g a l a c t i c pub. It'swherethescumofthegalaxycomeand drink.TheSpacebarislocatedattheotherendoftheuniverseastheRestaurantattheEndoftheUniverse.Theoddmistakentravelbrochuretothecontrary,th isdoesnotmeanthattheSpacebarislocatedatthebeginningoftheuniverse,eithertemporallyorspatially.Theyareownedbythesamecompany,Intergalac ticHospitalityGroup,(whoalsoownthePlutoHilton).
EverybodyknowsyournametherebecauseeveryonewhogoestheremustchangetheirnametoSusan.
SpacebarisaletteroftheEnglishAlphabet.Spacebarispronunciationofthe28letterofthealphabet,#####.Itisalsooneofthemostusefulkeysonthekeyboard Itislocatednexttothetimebar.
SomepeopleareunabletousethespacebarastheysufferfromBrokenSpaceBarDisorder.
Thespacebarwasdesignedtobethelongestpubinthegalaxy,farfarlongerthanyouraveragepunykey,toattractmoreclientelle.Itisasadfactthatpeople stillmissitswhereaboutsandendupdrinkinginlowerqualitydrinkingholes,liketheescapekey.
SpaceBarisalsoacandybar.Itconsistsmainlyofemptyspaceanddoesn'toffermuchsatisfactiontothetastebuds.3/10.
TheSpacebarisalsoauniversalsemencollectorandmarketingployformicrosoft,asitoftengetsstuckbetweenthekeysandyouhavetobuyanewkeyboardbe causetheoldoneistoogummedup.
PresidentSpaceBar[edit]
SpaceBar,bornBackspaceBarrShiftkey,wastheVice-Presidentfortheever-controversialEscapeKey,whowasthe5thand20thpresidentoftheUnitedStates.Aftertheconclusionofhisterm,BarspentsometimeattheBettyFordRehab CenterandtheHalliburtonBoardofDirectors,arecreationalcomplexforex-vice-presidents.
TheLife,Times,andDividesofSpaceBar
Barworkedhardonthefieldoftransmogrification,specializinginthetransformationoffooditemsintoanimalswithspecifictemperaturesandtheconversionof mildlyentertainingrockbandsintoelectronicdevicesandbodyparts,aswellastheatricalpieces,againwithcustomizedtemperatureconditions.Mostnotab lyinhiscareerwerehisworksonhotdogs,RadioheadsandColdplays.
SeveralcompanieslobbiedagainsttheworksofSpaceBar,includingMicroSoft,AltaVista,BlauPunktandHoneyWell.Duringhistermasvice-president,healsoenduredadiplomaticcrisiswiththeGermangoverment,knownforitsabuseoftermssuchasdieRidikulouslongwortanddasWirdontlikensp acen.
FunfactsaboutSpaceBar[edit]
- Hisfavoritenumberis42.
- Middlesonoffourbrothers:Alt,Space,AltGrandEpsteinBar.
- BrotherofBeatlesdrummer,RingoShift(néeRichardShiftkey)
- SpaceBaralwaysbinds'Shoot'-actiontotheSpaceBar,andnotthemorecommon'Jump'-action.
- InSovietRussia,barspacesYOU!!
- OneofthreepeopleinAmericabelievesthat'Spacebar'isachocolatebar,INSPACE.
- Spacebarispronouncedspa-SEE-bah(specialthankstoMicrosoftSam)
- providesapleasurablefeelingwhenyoupressit
- InventedbyWilliamWordsworth
Computerspacebar[edit]
Thespacebarisakeyonacomputerkeyboardthatstopswordsfromcrashingtogether. Whenthishappensitcanbeveryawkwardtoreadthetextandcausesdiscomforttotheviewer. Thespacebaristraditionallyplacedsothatitcanbeeasilyaccessedbyeitherhand,orbyeitherthumbinthecaseoftouchtyping. Itisuniqueinbeingtheonlykeyonthekeyboardthatcanbereliablyoperatedbycats-theirpawsaremuchtoolargeforeveryotherkeyandusuallyenduptypingthingslike
uoikj
or
erd5f
Manypeoplesuggestthatopposoblethumbsmakepressingthespacebareasier,thoughmanystudieshaveshownthatthisissimplynottrue. Thisisnotparticularlysurprisingasthistheoryismainlystipulatedbycats,thebastards.
Now,pleasehammeronthespacebartocontinue.Spacebarabuseispunishablebylawandyourlogicalsentincewilllooklikea10yearoldtypedit.
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Esc | empty space | TV | F1 | F2 | F3 | F4 | F5 | F6 | F7 | F8 | F9 | F10 | F11 | F12 | F13 | PrtSc SysRq |
ScLk | Pause Break |
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←Enter | Oh, SHIT! | Any | Duh | 4 | 5 | 6 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
↑Shift | Z | X | C | V | B | N | M | < , |
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↓Shift | ↑ | 1 | 2 | 3 | Ent | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Ctrl | FN | Alt | s p a c e b a r | Alt Gr | ⌘ | Ctrl | ← | ↓ | → | 0 | . |
SpaceBarIsNotSpaCebar[edit]
ManyhaverumoredthatSpaceBarisinfactSpaCebarbutthosepeopleareprettydrunkmostofthetimeandalsothinkDouglasAdamswroteHamlet.
Seealso[edit]
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