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There are currently 37,409 souls in our warehouse. |
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Today's featured satanist
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n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Dear Reader,
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)
Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy
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Did you kill...
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- ...Elvis?
- ...JFK?
- ...Jesus?
- ...some Zombies?
- ...Oscar Wilde?
- ...Chuck Norris?
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In the pit
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On this day...
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October 22: Int-t-ternational S-s-stuttering Awareness Day, iNTERNATIONAL cAPS lOCK dAY
- 4004 BCE - gOD CREATES THE HEAVENS AND THE eARTH AT EXACTLY 6:00 PM (ACCORDING TO bISHOP uSSHER)
- 1376 - Mrs. Harris (the best descendant of Chinggis Khan) is born on this epic day!!!!
- 1776 - Paul Revere rides, calling out "The B-B-B-Buh-Brit-Brit-British... " and is arrested and hanged.
- 1780 - kING gEORGE iii DECLARES WAR ON TERRRRRRRROR.
- 1850 - z-Z-Z-ZOM-ZOMBIES ATTACK WORLDWIDE. "b-B-BR-BR-BRAIIIINS" IS HEARD EVERYWHERE BUT UNINFECTED PEOPLE TRYING TO UNDERSTAND WHAT THEY ARE SAYING ARE OVERWHELMED AND EATEN.
- 1889 - aMERICAN tYPEWRITER'S uNION CHANGES NAME TO aMERICAN fEDERATION OF dICTATION tAKERS.
- 1920 - tHE nEW yORK tIMES INTRODUCES ITS FAMOUS nEWS zIPPER SIGN IN tIMES sQUARE; THE wALL sTREET jOURNAL IS CAUGHT WITH ITS PANTS DOWN.
- 1935 - P-Puh-Po-Por-Porky P-Puh-Pi-Pig is b-buh-bor-born. An amused King George VI would imitate him and get his brain stuck.
- 1941 - wAR BREAKS OUT BETWEEN ALLIED STANDARD TYPEWRITER KEYBOARD LOVERS AND THE aXIS OF dVORAK USERS; PUNCTUATION SUFFERERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUGHT IN MIDDLE.
- 1962 - dISGUSTED TRIFFIDS LAND IN cORNWALL AND fix all broken typewriters. Unfortunately, the rEPAIRS WOULD NOT LAST.
- 1968 - LED ZEP-EP-EP-EPLIN RELEASES ITS CLASSIC ALBUM LED ZEPPPPLIN IIIII, FEATURING THE HIT SINGLE WHOLE LOTTTTA LLLLLOVE.
- 2003 - mILLIONS OF N00BS WORLDWIDE DISCOVER THE CAPS LOCK KEY AND DECIDE TO ALWAYS TYPE LIKE THIS...
- 2005 - Writing in all caps combined with leet proves the case for eugenics and millions are sent to re-education or extermination camps.
- 2010 - I HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAVE TH-TH-TH-TH-THE WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WORST ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-ST FUCK THIS I'M OFF TO A HOUSE PARTY.
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Satanist and Imp of the Month
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Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
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The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.
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Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1
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