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There are currently 37,405 souls in our warehouse. |
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Today's featured satanist
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n the beginning there was nothing, and from that nothing arose Uncyclopedia, a great and magnificent tome containing all that was good. And once opened, Uncyclopedia spawned all that was funny and great. From the pages of Uncyclopedia sprang forth the knowledge of how to huff a cat, the knowledge of the meaning of the acronym "NRA", and the knowledge of how to beat a joke to death. From Uncyclopedia sprung Oscar Wilde quotes, beautiful pictures, and an annoying copycat named Wikipedia. However, right from the beginning, there was foretold an end. On the last page of Uncyclopedia, there is a small note. The note reads as follows:
Dear Reader,
Uncyclopedia will not last forever. Eventually there will come the Unpocalypse: A fiery rain of Hebrews will fall
from the sky, followed by forty days and nights of fog. Once the fog is lifted, Uncyclopedia will be no more.
However, dearest Reader, take solace in the fact that you will have due warning. There will be 5 signs that the
Unpocalypse is coming. The signs are as follows: (continued...)
Recently buried: Todd Lyons - Hindleyite - Suresh - Mhaille - DeathByPie - Hardwick Fundlebuggy
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Did you kill...
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- ...Elvis?
- ...JFK?
- ...Jesus?
- ...some Zombies?
- ...Oscar Wilde?
- ...Chuck Norris?
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In the pit
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On this day...
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February 23: Day of teh Internets
- 1954 - The Terminator, coming from the future, is destroyed by swamp gas over Tennessee, and its remains land in the Gore family yard. Inspired by this, Al Gore invents the Internet.
- 1966 - First pr0n photo is uploaded to the internet. Back then it is called porn so no one could find it using the only available search engine, the public library.
- 1994 - China connects to the Internet.
- 1994 - Taiwan is disconnected from the Internet.
- 1995 - Spam is created by Satan.
- 1996 - AOL is created by Satan after he needs to dispose of billions of CD-ROMs.
- 1997 - AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 1999 - Counter-Strike is created, thus marking the beginning of 1337speak and therefore the end of the world. In celebration, AOL raises its dial-up rates.
- 2004 - Maozilla storms Tokyonet, toppling many servers except for AOL's, so AOL raises its rates to its 70 remaining dial-up customers.
- 2008 - Many people start using 'cool' up-to-date social media websites, such as MySpace, Stumbleupon and Bebo.
- 2010 - Al Gore baleets teh last comment. The internet dies and goes to hell.
- 2011 - George Bush gets tired of constant criticism and blows a wiener.
- 2020 - Wiener, Neustadt still hasn't recovered from the blast.
- 2029 - Skynet sends the Terminator back in time to prevent Al Gore from creating the Internet.
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Satanist and Imp of the Month
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Once again, dear chaps, the Devil wins this award. 13th month in a row. He's that good, you say. Well I say, chaps, that just because he runs this website doesn't mean you blokes have to keep voting for him! He's already got 13 bloody GUNs! Stop voting for ------------ *scream from off stage*.
Announcers body is seen hanged from a tree
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The Devil, it seems, has done it again. Yet anouther award for him to hang above his desk, eh? I think he'll soon run out of space if he keeps up like this! He's already got 12 of these. Not that he doesn't deserve them and all. No no no deary, after seeing what happened to the last guy, I'd never say something like that. But really folks, have any of you even read the rules? He can only win once. It says it plane and clear. Well I say we fight it brothers! I say we kill The Beast! I say we
Announcer slumps forward in his chair. He has a large sword stuck in his back.
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Vote for Satanist of the Month | Vote for Imp of the Month | Vote for Occultist of the Month | Past Winners: 0/1
You only have 5 (Five) more days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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