Black Triangles

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An artists impression of a black triangle

Black Triangles is a conspiracy theory about secret United States aircraft flying over the skies of America and scaring a bunch of people. According to this theory, black triangle like aircraft are usually seen near UFO hotspots.


What most people think a Black Triangle looks like.

As the name suggests, Black Triangles actually look quite a lot like triangles, that are black. Most people are concerned that these are emo triangles, but this is nearly impossible because an aircraft doesn't have wrists to cut (idiots!) These black shapes are mostly triangular, but their has been reports that their have been black circles, squares, pentagons, or even icosikaitera (but these usually come in yellow). Sometimes they have little lights, which make the Black Triangles a lot easier to see in the BLACK NIGHT.

It is widely believed that a Black Triangle has three sides and angles (UFOlogists disagree). Smart people believe that the sum of the interior angles add up to 180 and that in a right triangle the squares of two sides add up to the square root of the hypotenuses. This is highly speculative though and nobody really agrees on its geometry.


Surprisingly, all the Black Triangles that are seen in the air can FLY! How, nobody knows, but because we believe that these are aliens, it is widely assumed that it is some type of odd alien technology involving Checyan's and Wookies and warp drives. None of these speculations account for the odd roaring sound of a jet engine. It is not believed that these aircraft are powered by jet engines.


"What the HECK!?!

The Black triangles are usually seen by drunk people in the dead of night on wooded roads with absolutely no one around when they are drunk. This adds to the credibility of these sightings. None have ever been seen by a sober person. Accordingly it is extremely hard to see these aircraft when it is dark outside (the black blends in really well). It has also been rumored that people have seen them on SAT tests.

Conspiracy Theory[edit]

Their is much conspiracy surrounding the Black Triangles. They have never really been a threat to anybody so naturally everybody assumes that they are out to kill some people.Most people connect them with pure evil reincarnate on this Earth. A lot of famous people have commented on the Black Triangle phenomenon.

-Al Gore "The Black Triangles are not conforming to the Kyoto Protocol" (actually no famous people, just Al Gore)

Everybody just assumes that they are from Star Wars. This picture sure looks like a Star Destroyer. But if you ask me the freaking Imperials need to get the heck off my planet before I send Chuck Norris on them.


Pretty much everybody else just laughs at them

Role in World War II[edit]

Winston Churchill used early Black Triangles in the Battle of Britian. This is just speculation because nobody actually really knows how he won the Battle of Britian. He was probably just screen-cheating.

See Also[edit]