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A typical Grey, we got this picture from an alien dating network, you can tell as he is obviously trying to look flirty.

The Greys are a species from the star-system known as Beta Carotene and our closely related to the Furons Of the planet Gorta .

Contrary to popular belief, Greys are not aliens, but were an early prototype of humanity invented by Tina Fey. Steve Jobs is probably the best-known Earthling with Grey ancestry.

Typically working behind-the-scenes due to their crippling shyness and ADD, Greys are responsible for many great advances in human history, including the Volkswagen, the spleen, Apple Computers, the pyramids and the blowjob. However, recent evidence that the Greys invented the Emos[1] has turned much of humanity against their benevolent mentors.

Skeptics doubt that Greys exist, but Grey liasons counter that these uptight no-fun-niks need to relax and open their eyes to the infinitude contained in the petals of a rose, man, and try the righteous Nicauagan boo my cousin smuggled here in a hollow umbrella. Customs was clueless!

Among those brave enough to publicize the presence of Greys are paranoid scientists, attention whores, horror writers who reached a commercial plateau, and people with psychological disorders.

Skeptics say these people are suffering from mental illness or took hallucinogenic substances and have then gone to sleep near an electricity outlet, but whoever invited a skeptic to a party?

They somehow managed to get undercover to TV and started their own TV-show, called Greys' Anatomy.

Physical description[edit]

Greys are roughly humanoid in appearance, but short and skinny with large eyes that they use to control your mind so they can force you to pee in your pants. They have disproportionately large heads, and have no visible genitals, and served as the model for Ken and Barbie - this offers obvious evolutionary advantages. Think about it: no sex toys, no cheating, no more need for condoms, and no more STDs! However they still feel sexual frustration, this is why they have such a love of anal probing. They stand about 3-5 feet tall, and travel in spaceships that usually turn out to be hot air balloons.

Related species[edit]

A closely-related species, coloured pink, are known as the Gheys.

The Gheys are a related human prototype, distinguished by their pink skin, their fondness for window treatments and pedicures, and their greeting call of "FAcrabB-ulous!" Hahahahaha they're pink! That means they're gay. Sometimes mentally ill or retarded.

An artist's rendition of a grey.

Where They Live[edit]

They don't, except where you least expect them to! Ha, take that, Mr. Skeptical Inquirer!

What They Eat[edit]

Your girlfriend, but only when you're out of town.

The Greys and Alien Abductions[edit]

Greys have been blamed for alien abduction, where the so-called "abductee" claim they are kidnapped, and the abductee is then taken into a bright room, and "probed" by the aliens for unspeakable medical experiments and sinister breeding programs. "Abductees" often wake in a different place to that


The Greys are known to have no sexual organs. This is not because they were born like this, but because they follow strict religious teaching. Male Greys sacrifice their penises to the Grey God of Penises, and the females sacrifice their sexual organs to the Grey Priests religious supper (known as a "slipmpf") for eating and flavouring. The greys eyes are not actually big and black, they actually have small snake eyes, but due to their small size, they got picked on at school, turned emo, and now apply vast amounts of black eyeliner.

In reality, the Greys have never kidnapped anyone: the "abductions" are actually romantic dates, and the Greys are the most sensitive of partners. The trouble comes after the human sobers up and sees the dildo and freaks out: "Oh my god! I'm not gay! I didn't enjoy it at all! I was abducted!"

Alien-Human Hybrids[edit]

From the mid-1960s to the mid-1980s, the Greys undertook an extensive breeding program that was abandoned as unsuccessful.

Average Alien-Human Hybrid

Like other hybrids, the Grey-Human offspring are mostly sterile, with useless, atrophied sexual organs. Caught between two worlds, these lonely, cast-off hybrids are typically humorless and have an exaggerated sense of self-importance see: Al Gore; they can be found at Star Trek conventions, populating internet chat rooms in a desperate attempt at establishing a community, playing Warcraft or other video games, or serving as Wikipedia administrators.

The Greys and Roswell[edit]

In 1947, a Grey delivery of iPods crashed near Roswell, New Mexico with an enormous bang, though skeptics cite research has found that what crashed was probably a large rocket launcher, and the noise may have been, in part, a cow with flatulence problems. A farmer, who obviously had been exposed to too much radiation, thought he saw an alien being sitting in the crashed material. This was probably one of the props from "Star Wars" (they were working on that movie for ages, ya know).

However, people are idiots; and so they believed, as they still do today, that an alien spacecraft truly crashed on the farm. As quoted by Oscar Wilde, "The sky is falling!" Or was that Chicken Little? It was probably a chupamacobra!

The Grey Agenda[edit]

Same as the gay one! Make a bunch of clones and hybrids, and send 'em out to take over the Earth.


  1. Alda, Alan, "Is YOur Child An Emo? An Easy Treatment Involving Excercise, Vitamin C and a Swift Kick to the Ass"


Creator Chris Carter has recently admitted in an exclusive interview with me, that actor David “Fox” Mulder is in real life a “Grey”. In fact his twin brother Gergal was the one in the Roswell autopsy film which really wasn’t a hoax. Chris Carter has personally visited Reticulan and says that the beef there is better than any on Earth, but he wouldn’t state what animal the ‘beef’ came from.

See Also[edit]

If You Believe You Have Ever Seen A Grey, See Also[edit]

  • A psychiatrist.
  • The Nut-house
  • CIA,FBI We neither confirm not deny it happened or we exist