Oceanic Airlines

The current Oceanic Airlines logo.

Oceanic Airlines is an international commercial airline which specializes in aeronautical transport to ocean destinations. Oceanic Airlines is renowned for having many unfortunate "incidents" aboard their aeronautical transports vessels. Instead of the normal factual information an encyclopedia article would, and should, have on a commercial enterprise, this article will have information solely on those unfortunate incidents mentioned about thirty-six words ago. As it is our duty to relay these "incidents" without prejudice or bias, there will be no opinion included in the reports here, only cold hard truth.

A typical Oceanic flight.

Flight 815

There are no "official" records of a flight "815", therefore none ever existed. It is believed that this flight originated from a military base in Sydney, Australia. This flight was advertised as going to Los Angeles, but the men in black aboard the plane had another idea. Top secret information was accidentally leaked to the passengers on this flight, so the entire passenger list of this flight was quarantined at an undisclosed Oceanic location. It is rumored that 12 of the passengers were actually secret agents.

Flight 762

Flight 762 has been involved in two incidents, they are as follows:

Incident 1

Forced to land because of a freak thunderstorm.

Incident 2

Nerve agent attack was threatened by an insane man.

Flight 666

Fuckin' exploded man, it just fuckin' exploded.

Flight 456

First officer murdered in-flight.

Flight 420

Pilot and first officer convicted of FUI (flying under the influence) after all 150 passengers came down with motion sickness.

Flight 408

Brought down by a magical storm over Canada.

Flight 343

Skyjacked by Islamic Terrorists, was skyjacked by North Koreans a few days later.

Flight 100

Flight time reportedly took longer than usual, due to a southerly breeze coming from the north. Kevin Smith was also a passenger aboard this flight.