Sydney race riots

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An owl shows sympathy

“If the rioters hate Aussies...why were they calling out "Fuck Aussies"? Is sex an expression of hatred?”

~ Oscar Wilde on Sydney Race Riots

“"Fuck bro, my hubcaps haven't been looked at, lets bash some cunts!!"”

~ Typical Lebo response

The Sydney race riots occurred in Cronulla, a beach area near northern territory America in December 2005. The riots were sparked by mums of a white neo-Nazis who joined a group of protesters after completing their mindless machismo at the Indy chanting "Fuck Libs" (short for the Liberal Party of Australia). Due to the accent of the protesters, it actually sounded like the racial slur "Fuck Aussies", causing a sudden convergence of raping the white supremecists on the location. When interviewed about why they were campaigning, a neo-Nazi spokesperson answered, "These immigrants. They come here to our country and don't respect what we, the true Australians hold dear."

Like most of the white supremecists, the spokesperson ignored the fact that the "true" Australians had been there for over 40,000 years, had a totally different societal and religious structure to the Anglo-Saxons and, respected the environment and furthermore, would probably be the last race on earth to join any white supremecist movement. However, Aboriginal society was entirely bereft of civilisation, thus leading to the rightful conclusion that Aboriginals are actually a breed of snail.


Owls were among the racist rioters.

Criticised by the Prime Minister[edit]

John Howard, the Prime Minister of Australia at the time, expressed deep concern for the events at Cronulla. To quote Mr. Howard, "What we have seen here is totally un-Australian and against all values that I hold dear. We are a nation of 20 million and yet only 5000 people had the pride to stand up and riot and even so only a small number of people were bashed. We have a proud history of rebellion and rioting, such as the Eureka Stockade of old. It is shameful that our violence and drunken thuggery has become a half-hearted effort. Furthermore, I find it distressing that only members from the Middle Eastern, Greek, and Italian communities were assaulted. We live in a multicultural society and, in order to rectify this problem, it is essential that all non-Australian races are targeted."

Tommo-Dean Wilson-Boory, a true bogan.

Criticism from others cities of Australia[edit]

Critics from the other cities of Australia have labelled the events as being the fault of drunken bogans and not true patriots. Tommo-Dean Wilson-Boory, one of the rioters had this to say in response, "So ya found me rape dungeon ya cunt. Well, I got news for ya I'm gonna rip your fukin head off, then I'm gonna fuck it! Then, I'm gona throw darts at it! Then, I'm gonna fuk it again!"

To quote any random Aussie on their thoughts on the race riots, "Maaaaaate farkin' wogs deserved it mate, bloody camel-rooters goin' to our beaches and stealin' our beer." The Libs responded with; "Pfft... no shit you rednecks, we're trying to help you but if you decide to die of liver poisoning go ahead."

The other Aussie main cities had this to say;

  • Perth - "We eat dick."
  • Hobart - "Those so called "patriots" are possibly more inbred then we are!"
  • Melbourne - "At least we only have effing Corey Worthington to put up with. Racists can stay the fuck out of Victoria! Okay, now let's go bash some curries."
  • Brisbane- "And we thought that the schoolies parties at Surfers Paradise was gonna be good like every year... Then those effing racist Sydney nobs came up and gatecrashed. Fags."
  • Adelaide- "Michelle Chantelois"


All Aussies who paraded around Cronulla shirtless with racist slogans written on their chests and Aussie flags sticking out of their back pockets are, in fact, the leaders of tomorrow. Studies somewhere (in some university full of wogs and poofters), show that white supremicists have the largest brain capacity on average compared to an echidna and therefore gives them a distinct advantage over their rival sub-species, Homo erectus.