Australian Labor Party
“Generally speaking, all Labor voters are bad people, and all Labor members vote for themselves in elections”
“Well, it's kind of like fancying your mum!”
“We are an African Tribe!”
|Australian Labor Party (we're American too!)
|January 1, 1901
The Australian Labor Party (originally The Australian Stalinist party) is the Australian Labour Party, except they can't spell. This lack of intellect is reflected in the Labour party's questionable choices of leader, including Australia's fattest man (twice), Elmer Fudd, a psychopath and Harry Potter.
First formed as a the result of a bet in 1888, it was the first ever socialist political party to hold power anywhere in the world (and that includes Kiribati). Just like Geri Halliwell is older than the other Spice Girls, the Australian Labor Party is older than the New Zealand and the British Labour parties.
The ALP is all about harmony, peace and love. Not however in relation to the gays or the Blacks and Asians. The ALP believes that all are equal to the sum of the average to the first power. Through it's histroy (sickle), Labor has supported high taxes and even higher taxes, black and white, up and down, hammer and sickle, also cold and hot. The also support the Adelaide Crows in the AFL. Current party president is Bill Shorten.(did we mention homosexuality, communism, poor people, and burning rich people?).
They have opposed the control of wild Australian communists, citing "environmental concerns".
Labor stands for: Levies, Anti-freedom, Binge spending, Overkill stimulus and Rate rises
In modern times, Labor has employed a "if all else fails, see the Liberal Party" policy. In Recent years under the iron nosed rule of The women who is probably the best prime minister in the history of Australia, loved by all of her subjects, Julia Gillard, there approach has somewhat differed from previous manoeuvres. The Slogan "Shut up or I'll Tax Ya" has been branded to our fav pollie, ol Julia.
Known Vampire Kevin Rudd has finally managed to return to his dark throne draining Julia Gillard's blood along the way. It is expected that his return heralds the rise of a new age of Love and prosperity that is expected to last until the end of year when The people of Australia go to the polls to vote for most annoying Psychopath.
Currently, the ALP is in power everywhere, except Western Australia, Victoria and New South Wales after having defeated the Liberal Party of Australia during 'Your Call 07' which was a TV Quest to find the next government. They are doing OK really, except in Perth where they have found their anti-chair sniffing policy is unpopular. But now that it's 08, WA has fallen to the enemy, and the same is likely in NSW,VIC and Anna's world next time around. The working families are angry being labelled 'working families'. Instead, they just wanted to be referred to as 'Labor Haters'. In 2011, Vic and NSW has fallen to the Coalition and the same is projected to occur elsewhere, putting an end to the communist Labor empire.
Chairman Kevin Rudd is now busy trying to figure out exactly what his election promises were, all he remembers is that they somehow involved working families, working families and working families, as well as promising to be a sex slave to whoever joins him on his eco-friendly crusade.
Here are the party leaders since time began in 1901:
- Julia Gillard
- Kevin Rudd
- Kim Beazley
- Mark Latham
- Peter Garrett
- Charles Firth
- Brendan Nelson