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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 36,739 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.

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May 16: Independence Day (New South Wales)

  • A long, long time ago - The tyrannic reign of intergalactic emperor Palpatine came to an end in a galaxy far, far away.
  • 1204 - Baldwin IX, Count of Flanders is crowned first Emperor of the Roman Catholic Church. He declares that all people from Flanders must be named Ned and say things like "Howdy Ho Neighborino", and "Okely-dokley".
  • 1532 - Sir Elton John resigns as a Queen of England, takes new job as a Stately Homo.
  • 1605 - Pope Paul V becomes President of the United States of Canada.
  • 1770 - 14-year old Marie Antoinette marries 15-year old Mr. Potato-Head who later becomes king of Ireland. Two years later, the Potato Famine begins, as the new king refuses to allow people to grow and eat his cousins.
  • 1866 - Monica Lewinski invents root beer.
  • 1910 - The U.S. Congress authorizes the creation of the BATF. The BATF cracks down on drunken hippies in San Francisco the next week.
  • 2007 - President George W. Bush dies after choking on his mispronunciation of the word "nuclear".
  • 2008 - The Queen of England is declared emo by James Madison in his new book, The Queen and I. Sales soar through the roof. Later that day, with a tear running down her face, the Queen runs a straightblade across her wrist, telling herself that "It's just a phase."
  • 3004 - The government finally decides to assist Hurricane Katrina victims, despite the fact that the actual event occured a thousand years ago.

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Unwritten Topics

Today's featured article – UnNews:Bad karaoke costs boys their vocal cords


NORTHAMPTON, England -- Three friends with learning difficulties, including one with Down's syndrome, performed such a poor rendition of the Beatles' classic "Hey Jude" at the Abington Pub in Northampton that the pub landlord removed their vocal cords.

Suspicions grew after landlord Neil Bartholomey purchased a bumper pack of best-value gags, three 2m × 2m cemetery plots, and a DIY embalming kit. It was later revealed that the whole patronage of the pub had been in on the plot to end the boys' budding singing careers.

"They were driving away customers with their ranting," Mr. Bartholomey explained. "It's not like this is the first time they've done it, either! Sometimes they just come in at about 3 o'clock, order a dozen Shirley Temples, and don't leave until their mum picks them up at 9!"

Mr. Bartholomey denied that extracting their vocal cords and leaving them to bleed violated human rights. "It was for the good of humanity!" he shouted as police subdued him. "If they wandered into your pub and started belting out "Yellow Submarine", you'd do the same, unless you're just not enough of a man!" (more...)

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Previously featured article – Concision

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Concision (also called brevity, laconicism, crispness, briefness, succinctness, pithiness or compactness but not to be confused with terseness (which is concision to the point of rudeness) or sententiousness (which is concision in the service of pompous moralising, or sanctimonious lecturing)) is a writing principle (or doctrine of composition) which promotes the advantages of eliminating, removing or excising redundancy from prose, verse and other forms of expressive writing. (more...)

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