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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 37,343 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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Selected anniversaries

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July 14: National Surrender Day (France)

  • 1789 - French citizens storm the Bastille prison and free seven prisoners who were wrongly incarcerated after being accused of that most heinous of crimes in France: being English.
  • 1798 - The Sedition Act becomes United States law, making it a federal crime to write, publish, or utter false or malicious statements about the U.S. government. The Uncyclopedia farm is raided, and several prized bovines are tipped over.
  • 1914 - Confusion over guacamole and the Whack-a-mole game leads to a victory by the army of Venustiano Carranza over Pancho Villa's forces in northern Mexico.
  • 1940 - Vichy France is established after capitulation to Germany, making the film Casablanca possible.
  • 1969 - The United States removes all large bills from circulation, much to the dismay of the legendary Salmon P. Chase (the face of the $10,000 bill) and his adoring fans.
  • 1974 - It's Christmas, Folks, and Just Look at the Mess We've Made by John Lennon reached number one on the charts.
  • 2000 - A powerful solar flare, later named the Bastille Day Event, causes a geomagnetic storm on Earth. The French immediately surrender to the sun and agree to a two-year occupation of Paris, much to the chagrin of French sunblock and parasol manufacturers.
  • 2007 - A breakthrough study shows that those who read often are actually better at reading than those who seldom read.
  • 2008 - A second breakthrough study shows that those who seldom read are better at not reading than those who read often.
  • 2009 - A third breakthrough study shows that those who read often are worse at reading when those who seldom read deprive the former of their pretentious glasses.
  • 2010 - A fourth breakthrough study shows that those who read often do not know how to read, while those who seldom read are contributors to Uncyclopedia.
  • 2011 - A fifth breakthrough study shows that breakthrough studies get annoying fairly quickly.

Archived Anniversaries

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Today's featured article – The Witcher

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The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.

The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.

A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)

Previously featured article – Chess pieces

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Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)

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