Australian-English Dictionary

Strewth! G'day, mate, and welcome to the sunburnt country of Uncyclerpoidia's 'Straiyan-English Dictionary, Phrasebook and Cultural Goide, yer essential aid t' bein' understood when yer visitin' our bewdiful country or trorn'a buy a drink in London.

a'Straiya's twenny tormes 'a soize of England and, lorke everywhere, plays cricket twenny tormes betta. Canada prob'ly plays cricket better th'n Pommyland. Mate, Quebec prob'ly plays cricket better th'n Pommyland. Fair crack a' th' dingo! Chuck another whingin' Pom on th' barbie! Strewth!

Yanks

'Straiyans hat' America but loik the Seppos 'emselves 'cos if they're in a'Straiya they were smaht 'nough t' actually figure out th' rest a' th' world exists. Thass arroit. They usually look sorta dazed. 'Straiyans always assume a Seppo's Canadian till they're dumb enough t' say they're not — it's just poloit.

Seppo	'Strayian
Cof-fee	Be-er
Beer	Piss
Piss	Fosters
Pissed	Pissed off or drunk
Holy toledo	Strewth
There are no accent coaches in Hollywood worth a moment's consideration.	Fuck off Yanks
American	Septic Tank (Yank)
Shee-yit!	Faaaark!

Greetin's

'Strayian	Pom
Cunt!	Mate!
Mate ...	Cunt!

'Straiyans are also well known as red hot lovers. And all the women've got fantastic tits.

Stevo: G'day! Noice tits. Wanna root?

Sharon: Oi dunneaw, y' smooth-torken' barstard!

(five minutes later)

Stevo: *snork* *splort*

Sharon: He loves me, he loves me!

Stevo: *burp* (puts beer down) What toiyme's the footy on?

(Note: 'Straiyans aren't all called Bruce and Sheela. That's the Poms havin' you on. They're actually all called Stoiyeve and Narelle. 'Xcept 'f course fer Shazza, Bazza, Dazza, Gazza, Macca, Robbo, Johnno, Davo, Stevo, Clivo, Charlene, Noeline, Raelene, Brucelene, Kylie and Farken Mark. And Poms with weird names loike "Kevin.")

'Straiyan chicks go woild f'r an Oirish or Scottish accent. Yer Pommy accent sorta works, but not too well — y'moight need a personality t' go with it.

Nature television

'Straiyans are as self-obsessed as any Yank and think they're all rugged outdoor frontier types even if they all live in forve or six cities and their four-wheel droive's never gone further th'n their kids' school. So TV about 'Straiya being big, bewdiful and dangerous is a sure winner.

Ay, wot's this little bugger? It's an Uncyclerpoidian! Lovely little critter, isn' 'e. Gotta be careful, though — his deadly satore could strorke you dead in seventy-three years, eleven months and twenty-two days. Let's see wot happens when or stick mor finger up his aaarse ... Ooh croikey 'e bit me!! *urk*

Other useful phrases

Woi'll start with s'm simple 'Straiyan words an' phrases used 'n ev'ryday loife:

Simple 'Straiyan phrase	Meaning
Feeeeeeeeeeeeesh and Cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeps	Fish and Chips
Fark!	Ouch!
Fark!	Excuse me!
Fark!	Oh my!
Fark!	I'm lost.
Fark!	She's pretty.
Fark!	Recent occurrences that I find personally offensive have caused a sudden outburst of aggression in my usually laid-back demeanor.
Fark!	Is that a crocodile heading towards us?
Fark!	I seem to have been placed in an incidence that my be hazardous to my health.
Fark!	Its Hot
Root!	Fark!
Bloody oath	Fark Yeah!
Moi fuck'n oath I will!	Um, probably. I think.
Chunder	Vomit
Farken Asian farken invasion	All immagrants.
Reffos	Refugees
Mate	A friend, or girlfriend.
Mate	Someone you have just met.
Mate	Someone you are threatening to have a barney with.
Mate	The guy serving you beer at the pub.
Mate	Someone whose name you can't remember.
Mate	Anyone else.
Mate	I don't know what your name is, but ill call you mate.
Mate	Pardon me sir, but I have reason to believe that you have secreted on your person items for which you do not intend to furnish payment.
Moayte	I find myself succumbing to a high affinity for your charming character and consider our relationship to be congenial to good spirits.
Gollum	Kevin Rudd (Comedians)
COMMIE CUNT FACKING ALL MOI INTERNETS AURHGL	Kevin Rudd (Pedophiles and children)
Yoda	Richie Benaud (Cricket commentator)
Dear Leader	Kevin Rudd (Liberal politicians)
shut the fark up or i'm going to farking kill ya	plese be quiet so we don't get into an argument
Farken Wanka pommie	Stuart Broad (English 'Cricketor')
in ya face count-hole	told you so
Arselicker	John Howard (Liberal politicians)
Slimy farkin' little mongrel farkin' cunt	John Howard (Everyone else)
Farken Legend	Rodney Rude
Faaaaaaaarken Legend	Kevin Bloody Wilson
Odey Colone	Telephone
Dingo ate my baby!	My infant was taken away by E. Dingo.

Now let's troy c'mboinin' 'em:

More compl'cated 'Straiyan phrase	Meaning
Well La-dee-farken-dah	Aren't you just the bee's knees!
Shtroof!!	An expression of surprise reserved for audiences with at least one foreigner (at's non-'Straiyan types, blue!). In company that is totally of 'Straiyan origin, a more appropriate term is "Fark!".
(creaky voice) "It'ssh una'Strayian!"	Anything done by someone who would like to see Kevin Rudd return to the 1950s of his dreams without taking the rest of us with him
Chuck another prawn on the barbie	Would you be so kind as to place another shrimp on the bbq?
Fuggin', ya fuggin', fuck ... FUCK. Shit. Fuckin, fuggin, fuggit. Cunt. (vomits) "(vomits again)"	I am eager to partake of the fine quality heroin I have heard so much about on your wonderful Kings Cross, Sydney. Could you also please spare fifty cents. Thank you, sir.
Tarf aza bruckbilt shi'ouse	Possessing great strength Note: sure this one is'n' Noo Zealan'? Note: Noo Zealan' is fake 'Straya
Arrrh, dun't come the raw prawn, moayte. Shtroof, Oi've knocked around the Territry for twenny years. Reckun Oi know a thinger two.	I have long resided in the manicured suburbs of the nation's capital. Your advice is of little use to me. alt.: I am taking the piss out of your accent as well as mine.
Ay'm gunna jam me thumb..rayght up 'is buttle!	A colonoscopy
Shtroof ol' bli'me, faark me dead. Me mouffs aboud az droi azza dead dingos donga!	No literal translation known for this. Or at least the Australian bastards won't explain what it means.

Luckily times have changed and Aborigines are treated in every way equal to other Aussies! (except for legal representation, property ownership, healthcare, education, general acceptance into the white community and fair treatment by the Government.)

Confusion with the Language

Americans loike ta use the quote "Shrimp on the Barbie!" ta mock Aussies. Aussies seem to get quoite confused as they do not use the term 'shrimp' but rather 'praawn'. This is the time where Australians like ta throw Vegemoite at the Americans fer their stupid quotes.