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Selected anniversaries

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September 27: Being Fooled by Nigerian Scammers Day

  • 1932 BC - The Queen of Sheba gives half of King Solomon's vast fortunes to Nigerians posing as lepers.
  • 535 - Pope Agapetus I sends half of all Vatican treasures to Nigerian princes in exchange for promises of ivory and tasty monkeys.
  • 1822 - Jean-François Champollion announces that he has deciphered the Rosetta stone. It begins, "Dear Sir, I am the cousin of the former finance minister of Nigeria, a Mr. Azikiwe..."
  • 1882 - Oscar Wilde is notified that he has been selected to receive £24.9 million from persecuted Nigerian businessman Chief MKO Abiola! All he has to do is telegraph his checking account number!
  • 1905 - Albert Einstein publishes the paper "Does the Inertia of a Body Depend Upon Its Energy Content?" in Annalen der Physik. This paper describes the relationship between energy and mass according to the equation E=MC2, where E is energy, M represents mass, and C is the number of Nigerian emails circling the internet at any given point.
  • 1942 - Adolf Hitler gets scammed out of all of Nazi Germany's tank anti-freeze budget by a Nigerian claiming to need a small sum of money to export his emu stock and giant vast fortunes.
  • 1961 - A young child, Davey, saves up his coins in a piggy bank to buy a bicycle. His dog Goliath convinces him to invest his money with him to get the bike sooner. When he finds his dog is just eating the coins, Davey kills him and chops him into bits. Davey then sets up a barbecue stand in front of the house, selling Goliath burgers to neighbors. Did we tell you his last name is McDonald? And that's the rest of the story.
  • 2005 - George W. Bush announces a 10,000,000 USD injection into the US economy, after receiving an email from "Dr. Shehu Shagari" who has all this money from some American guy's Nigerian bank account, who died in a plane crash with the rest of his family.
  • 2008 - Bernie Madoff takes $55 billion from investors in a Ponzi scheme. He is made the first honorary Nigerian in history.
  • 2010 - You go on to Uncyclopedia and check what anniversary it is after you paid a Nigerian $500 because he claimed to know the secret of life and that it was on this website.
  • 2043 - You are trying to research the lost Egyptian eggplant known as, 'The Interwebz.'

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Today's featured article – The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

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The Man from U.N.C.L.E. was an American TV show from the 1960s that first revealed the existence of the Deep State. Purportedly dealing with dangerous criminal masterminds, the show featured men running around in sharply cut suits, with a boss whose face was craggy enough to go up on Mount Rushmore. Female agents wore tight skirts and high heels to blend in with the normal folk. They eventually got their own series, The Filly from A.U.N.T.I.E. Some defected from the Agency and became Charlie's Angels, while the more ruthless ones joined the Wagner Group.

With its riffy opening titles and a lot of dashing around the world (or at least a smörgåsbord of movie backlots), The Man from U.N.C.L.E was a hit, like a home version of James Bond minus the bedroom scenes. Later, individual episodes were stretched into feature films. In the end, the show was cancelled when episodes went either surreal or bat-shit stupid. There were two more appearances of the show in a 1983 made-for-TV "movie", by which time the main leads were flabby and/or dead. A 2015 "reboot" film starring Superman Henry Cavill and Armie Hammer flopped. (more...)

Previously featured article – List of Star Wars films

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George Lucas originally released Star Wars in 1977 as a stand-alone film. However, once it was clear that people were actually going to pay money to watch it, he made it into a trilogy. Apart from these three original films — the OG Trilogy, if you will — he made a prequel trilogy in the late '90s/early 2000s. (more...)

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