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June 29: Make Crude Jokes About Genitals Day

  • 34CE - Ducks first start making jokes about their corkscrew genitalia.
  • 1034 - Court eunuchs in China spend a quiet day with nothing to say.
  • 1194 - Sverre is crowned King of Norway, beginning a long reign of Danish kings with unpronounceable names.
  • 1542 - The comic strip Calvin and Hobbes debuts, lightheartedly poking fun at such contemporary topics as the Protestant Reformation. (pictured)
  • 1758 - Edmond Halley patents Halley's Comet, charging everyone who sees it three pence. He makes only about 5/- but hopes for more the next time the comet returns.
  • 1807 - Sharks curiously stop making jokes about human genitals before they attack people.
  • 1884 - The Picture of Dorian Gray is released by Oscar Wilde, consisting largely of crude jokes about genitals.
  • 1939 - The Colonel Bogey March is originally written to be sung by castrotti.
  • 1965 - The auto accident starting the "Paul is dead" hoax occurs in England. It is actually the other 3 Beatles who die.
  • 1972 - The U.S. Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute 'cruel and unusual punishment', particularly the more outlandish methods of carrying out the sentence, such as Texas' legendary alligator tank.
  • 1985 - Your mom sees my wiener for the eightieth time. And likes it as much as she did the first time.
  • 1986 - I discover my mom likes your weiner because she collects McDonald's coffee stirrers.
  • 1999 - Prince continues to party.
  • 2009 - Millions of Americans suffering from insomnia are miraculously cured when Jimmy Fallon receives his own late night talk show.

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Unwritten Topics

Today's featured article – Kashmir


Kashmir, apart from being a really swell song by Led Zeppelin, is the northernmost part of India, unless one counts Ladakh and Arunachal Pradesh. Its own northernmost parts are not its own at all; some are administered by Pakistan and others by China. The border (the "Line of Control") is marked unambiguously, as one does not hear gunfire before one steps across it, except in the case of incursions.

Kashmir proper is the name of a valley in the Himalayas, around the tasty Dal Lake, where you need to wear a lot of Kashmir, here spelled cashmere, or you will freeze to death at night. However, Kashmir usually refers to the Indian State of Jammu and Kashmir, or would, except that in 2019, after Narendra Modi recalled all the money and replaced it with brand-new money and got re-elected anyway, he got really daring and demoted Kashmir to the Territory of Jammu and Kashmir But Not Ladakh. The move was widely supported (for all anyone knows; there was no internet and telephone service for a couple key weeks), even though it involved amputating the eastern half of the state: Ladakh, a place where people actually cheer for the return of 9 months of frigid weather, as they will be able to get across the river.

As well as having a name that is the same as a cool song, Kashmir used to have a female Chief Minister by the cooler name of Mehbooba. (more...)

Previously featured article – UnPoetia:The Catwoman in the Hat

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The Sun did not shine. (more...)

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