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Gene Roddenberry has inspired us to work on 37,407 exauhstive articles about the minutia of the face make up on third alien from the left in the untransmitted crowd shot from the 4th episode of the 2nd series of DS9 since opening in January 2005.


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March 11: Stop Hitting Yourself Day (Mexico, pictured)

  • 125 - Minerva, the Roman goddess of wisdom, goes on vacation and returns to find the Romans have invented The Three Stooges.
  • 536 - Pope Agapetus I roasts the first Easter Bunny in what becomes a spring tradition to Christians the world over.
  • 826 - European monks convert the facepalm into self-flagellation as they need to see where they are walking.
  • 1876 - The Industrial Revolution takes its first major stride forward with the introduction of the steam-powered accordian.
  • 1892 - Oscar Wilde pens his play Lady Windermere's Fan after being influenced by the patrons of various European rough pubs.
  • 1901 - Whole porcupines are replaced by candy and eggs in Easter baskets. The end of the tradition breaks the hearts of doctors and the pliers manufacturing industry.
  • 1962 - Vatican II decrees that self-flagellation is to be replaced by the headdesk.
  • 2003 - The United States invades Iraq just hours after President Bush has his "Mission Accomplished" speech written for him.
  • 2006 - Adobe Potatochop is released and quickly becomes the most popular image-editing software among people with too much time on their hands.
  • 2012 - In accordance with ancient Mayan prophesy, space-time collapses in upon itself. However, the only effect noticed on Earth is that all of Cleveland's McDonald's end up in Antarctica.
  • 2018 - The White House Easter egg roll on the South Lawn is the focus of news feeds as land mine manufacturers put on a "yuge" show for attendees, or at least for the surviving parents.
  • 2021 - Dick Cheney dies, putting Satan out of a job.

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Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.