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 March 20: Procrastination Day (extends until tomorrow)
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Today's featured article – Star Trek
Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count." Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...) Recently featured:
Previously featured article – Windows XP
Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...) In the news
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- International Federation of Red Cross and Red Crescent Societies — various causes, including Asian floods, relief in the Middle East, Haiti, and aid for Hurricane Katrina to build a New New Orleans
- Disasters Emergency Committee — earthquake relief, Niger aid; ideal for mediocre British taxpayers as Gordon Brown gives a bit as well
- UNICEF — African AIDS relief, child health services, etc.
- Save Darfur — donate to help provide aid to the ongoing genocide in Darfur
- Donate to Japan. Seriously.
- Join Uncyclopedia's Folding@home Team — Help the world while doing very little work
- Free Rice of the UN World Food Program: play some games, feed hungry people
For nonsense related IRC chat, see This instructional video.
Protected by Starfleet, and an elite clan of Red Shirtss.
- ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.