Babel:En

Ev'nin' Guvnor, cast yer mincepies at Uncyclopædia Britannica, the content-free encyclopedia that any Tom, Dick or 'Arry can edit. Northern translation:Ey up luv! Get yers arse on t' Uncyclopedia, before Tom, Dick or Arry do or ye gunner get a thrapin'! Good Queen Bess has inspired us to work on 37,402 articles since opening in January 2005. Jolly well, old chaps. Before editing, please read the Beginner's Guide and browse the Big Five, if you will. Colonisations for the week include Canada, Newfoundland, Australia and New Zealand. Rule Britannia! Politics | Games | Computers | People | Quaint | Coherent Most Popular | Alphabetical Index | Other Categories...

After being given superpowers by the Manhattan Project, Harry S. Truman (a.k.a. The Truman Torch) personally drops the bomb on Hiroshima. Vote for featured image

On the telly tonight Today's featured article – Arthur Currie General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name. Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...) Recently featured: Star Trek Windows XP Switzerland Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...) You can vote for your favourite Pop Idol to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Britannica Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Lest we forget Jedi will dance with just about anyone. May 4: Jedi New Year 321 - The date no one thought would ever happen, finally does. 1367 - King Philo of Wallachia discovers flatulence. 1594 - Dwarf hunting is declared illegal in France when the Jew and Huguenot season is extended. 1904 - The USA begins its first efforts to curb illegal immigration with the groundbreaking of the Panama Canal, separating North and South America. 1905 - Weebles wobble. 1924 - Weebles still won't fall down. 1930 - A time-travelling Jimbo Wales accidentally causes the Great Depression. 1939 - Thomas Jefferson ends up being the first president to become a rock star. 1961 - Martin Luther King has a dream about going to school naked. 1965 - Tony Blair announces the John Prescott Widening Project in order to increase the amount of pies John Prescott can eat. This reduces his ability to make incomprehensible sentences. Millions rejoice. 1966 - Robin Cook is appointed as Chief Incomprehensible Sentence Maker by the Queen. Millions saddened. 1968 - Robin Williams visits Earth and pals around with Gene Roddenberry and William Shatner. More than 40 years of science fiction hub-bub and techno-crap follow, creating really cool inventions like the transporter and Klingons. 1977 - Star Wars is released with the tag line "May the fourth be with you". The director will be fired to making up such a ludicrous pun. Douchebag. 1980 - Ronald Reagan loses in a winner-take-all paintball tournament sponsored by Jodie Foster. 1986 - Ronald Reagan awakes to a new day, but has no idea why. 2004 - The first annual Nigerian Email Writers Convention is held; millions attend. 2007 - Queen Elizabeth enjoys the Kentuckistan Derby and buys a beer bong. She will later crowd surf the mosh pit in the infield. Ye Royal Archives	Paddington Blair's word for today is prostitution Try to use it in your conversations. Knowledge is power.
	edit Auntie Beeb reports: Iranian trumps Trump Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured) Obama photographed with aliens Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane More Current Events at Beeb News edit Did you chaps know... ... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period? ... and today, SpongeBob is? Do you blimey care... ... that the United States presidential election of 1948 saw the overwhelming defeat of then-President Harry S. Truman at the hands of Thomas Dewey, the Republican governor of New York and former partner in the law firm, Dewey, Cheatem & Howe? Care to read more?
edit Recent dispatches from the colonies: House of Merovingian (pictured) | Arthur Currie | Full house | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus More recent dispatches | Most wanted ruffians | Rubbish to patch up | A penny for the old Guy | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...
United Empire Loyalist of the Month GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia! Seriously, we love you. Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor. Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come! It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon! HEIL FROSTY! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners

• 

  Europa

• 

  العربية

• 

  Zh

• 

  Deutsch

• 

  Ελληνικά

• 

  English

• 

  Español

• 

  Español

• 

  Português

• 

  Suomi

• 

  Français

• 

  עברית

• 

  Bahasa Indonesia

• 

  Italiano

• 

  日本語

• 

  Latina

• 

  Polski

• 

  Русский

• 

  USeh?

• 

  Català

• 

  Nederlands

Uncyclopedia International/اللاموسوعة العالمية/Uncyclopedia Internacional/国际アンサイクロペディア/国際偽基百科/국제백괴사전/Internationale Uncyclopedia/Διεθνής Φρικηπαίδεια/Uncyclopedia Международное/Uncyclopedia Internazionale/Kansainvälinen Uncyclopedia/Uncyclopedia Internasjonal/Internationella Uncyclopedia/Uncyclopedia Mancanegara

Hooray! World Peace! Let us all stand in a circle and dance!

For haggis-related IRC chat, see this instructional video.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, the Royal Navy and an elite clan of Beefeaters. God save the Queen!