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Today's featured article – Minotaur

The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity.

The monster's given name was Asterix, suggested by some visiting Celts from Gaul.

The beast is typically described in painting and sculpture as having a human body and a bull's head. Some writers have described him the other way around. Considering the combinations possible, it is a wonder that the Minotaur didn't end up as an amalgamation of two different butts.

Experts in Greek mythology suspect that if the Minotaur were born female, then the Borden's company would have adopted its mascot and symbol much, much earlier. The storyline would also then have been much different. Historians agree that the tale would have ended up as some sort of lesbian fanfic, which is within the canon of the soap opera that is Greek mythology. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – The Witcher

The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula. (more...)

All You Need To Know Is...

*... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?

... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?
... that since haste makes waste, and slow and steady wins the race, it follows that everybody who loses a race must therefore be charged with littering?

... that witch-hunting for fun and profit has mostly turned into witch-hunting for fun in this modern era of cheaply produced Chinese assembly line witches?

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The People's Controlled Media

Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints (pictured)

Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA

Epstein list emerges

Miss England to Miss World: I'm out

Qatar gifts Trump an airplane

Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos

DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia

Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration

Trump tees up new American empire

Elon Musk prepares for world government

I'm a doctor — You're peeing all wrong

US polls are broken ( listen)

DNA evidence shows how Christ would vote

Lebanon upgrades comms gear

Ohio city goes to the dogs

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On This Day...

September 11: International Worst Inventions Ever Day

13,800,000,000 BCE Universe invented. Previous universe wiped out due to Large Hadron Collider collision.
3000 BCE - Egyptians invent papyrus. Moments later, the paper cut is invented. Still some moments later, some pretty expressive swear words are invented.
33 CE - Judas invents the noose while just hanging around.
100 CE - Romans invent the wedgie to torment Christians.
911 - Nostradamus, having predicted 9/11, invents the telephone number 911.
1753 - An Oxford University student invents the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard.
1883 - The Worst Invention of the Year is a tossup between Islamic Fundamentalism (Middle East) and Christian Fundamentalism (United States).
1934 - Aviation pioneer Igor Sikorsky invents the helicopter ejection seat.
1939 - Inspired by an awful experience at summer camp, Hitler invents his own franchise of camps.
1945 - Morning After Pill not yet invented; George H.W. Bush and Barbara Bush invent George W.
1961 - Hair scientists invent the mullet (pictured). The nesting bird population increases dramatically.
1968 - The internet is developed, sporting six-pack abs and huge rockets and not an ounce of fat. However, 30 years later...
1972 - Construction of the Trans-Amazonian Highway is completed. Lesbian Amazonians are slightly miffed.
1981 - Road rage is invented when the Trans-Amazonian Highway is extended through your cubicle.
2001 - An aircraft magnet is accidently turned on in the Pentagon.
2001 - Osama Bin Laden invents the world's first airplane/building hybrid
2001 - American Airlines mysteriously loses 2 planes.
2002 - Emo movement is saddened but remains vaguely hopeful when it is invented.
2002 - The White House invents WMD.
2006 - An antigovernment father spends the day without turning on TV or radio, insisting that he doesn't want to hear about what happened five years ago, but in truth, hasn't paid the electricity bill.

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

Featured picture

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Penis de milo.jpg

Penis de milo.jpg - 9.5 total votes ( 19.5 / 10 )

The famed Penus De Milo statue depicting Hermaphrodite, in the Temple Of Sheemayle.

Image credit: RadicalX

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