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Today's featured article – Alexander IV

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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*... when a Chinese Uncyclopedia member writes an article, ██████ █████████████ ████ █████?

... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year?
- ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?

... when a Chinese Uncyclopedia member writes an article, ██████ █████████████ ████ █████?
... the US Postal Service delivered over 7.7 billion pieces of mail last year?
- ... and that unfortunately those started out as 5.2 billion packages and letters?

... when a Chinese Uncyclopedia member writes an article, ██████ █████████████ ████ █████?

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On This Day...

October 9: Weasel Day

2349 BCE - The proto-badger, a distant relative of the weasel, goes extinct when Noah tosses the only surviving pair off the ark for stealing his yams.
942 - Weasel stomping in invented in Anglo-Saxon England.
1086 - The Domesday Book notes the average price of a stoat at 1 groat.
1490 - Leonardo da Vinci paints Lady With an Ermine, the first mustelid pre-photobombing recorded in the West.
1674 - Issac Newton discovers Weaselpudge. Nobody cares.
1754 - It is alleged by some that on this supposed day, weasel words were probably invented or perhaps created.
1862 - The Cheasel is invented.
1872 - Rudolf Weasel changes his last name to Diesel. The rest is history.
1881 - The Japanese Stomping Fish, which has nothing to do with weasels, is discovered.
1899 - Pop Goes the Weasel is licensed for every jack-in-the-box toy. Small children drive their parents insane playing the tune, leading to the Second Boer War.
1930 - Nazis adopt the Horst-Weasel song as their anthem.
1937 - The Spleen weasel is discovered in Paris, France, without rioting for a welcome change.
1938 - The Disney film Snow White is released in Europe with the song Weasel While You Work. Parisians take it personally and rioting ensues during the intermission.
1940 - John Lennon is born, and promptly marries a weasel.
1961 - Ferret racing is invented in Australia. It is not held where you think it might.
2007 - A woman gives birth to a weasel. This will grow up to be the Antiweasel, signalling the end of the world. People will be forced to carry the mark of the Beast on their foreheads, which will be a weasel word, theoretically.

View tomorrow – More anniversaries...

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Land of the Jews, based on promo poster for George A. Romero's film Land of the Dead.

Image credit: RabbiTechno

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