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Today's featured article – Switzerland
Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.
At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.
 Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany. After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)
St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)
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| *... Hope springs eternal? Dammit, girl, can't you stand still for minute?
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| Jewish people raped these people
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December 30: Last Chance To Do All the Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day
- 4004 BCE - God remembers to create the Earth. Oh, and everything else, too. Except for sliced bread.
- 4 BCE - Emperor Augustus remembers he was gonna have a census this year. Having missed his opportunity, he proclaims, "Let there be a day upon which all things previously contemplated throughout the last year finally be at once accomplished! Except for tomorrow. But shhhh!" Thus, the "Last Chance to Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" is inaugurated.
- 41 CE - Calligraphy, the gayest of Roman emperors, forgets to sign the will making his goat the next emperor, thus ensuring the slavery of goats for two and a half millennia.
- 1037 - King Arthur loses the Holy Grail to Nigerian timeshare scammers. Crusades ensue.
- 1928 - The fart is discovered to be a wave not a particle since two people at two different places can smell it at the same time.
- 1999 - Procrastinators think about preparing for the Y2K Bug.
- 2004 - Weren't we gonna start a parody of Wickerpedialyte? Yeah? Shit! Better luck next year.
- 2005 - the letter u is now a bad word. Prince gets writer's block for about five minutes.
- 2006 - Saddam Hussein is executed for forgetting to send Bush a Christmas card. Again.
- 2007 - This entry is not added. Except in error, and other minor US towns.
- 2012 -- The Mayans remember to end the world with a BANG!
- 2017 - Wal★Mart sends in the Giant Smiley to crush the government of Botswana in order to create one giant store next to the redneck country South Africa. (pictured)
- 2541 - Goats obtain their freedom, thus changing December 30 from "Last Chance To Do All The Things You Wanted To Do This Year Day" to "Goatcheese Liberation Front and Gift Packet Day" (except in New Guinea).
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