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Welcome. This is a print-out-and-keep guide if you fancy a career change. There is also available a translation in Latin. Now pray and read the rest of this guide. We are talking about you can Become a Pope.
So let's fill you in with a bit of background. First you will have to be a Catholic and male. We know this may be an impediment to many of you but the church is very broad these days. The Popehood is open to all, but you do need to wear pants and not be a gossip.
There is now a minimum and maximum age to become pope. You also need to be a cardinal to be a papal candidate, though that rule came in about 1,000 years ago. Since you can only become a cardinal once you reach your 35th birthday, that is now the minimum age to become pope. The maximum age for a pope is 80, a rule brought in only in the 1960s. (more...)
Previously featured article – Norse Korea
Norse Korea is a land shrouded in mystery, where the thunder of war echoes not only across its borders but also in the halls of Valhalla. The country's leader, Kim Jong Odin, is known for his legendary prowess in keeping a tight grip on the helm of his snowy kingdom — just as Thor would grip Mjolnir, only with slightly less thunderous applause. (more...)
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| *... that during his tragically brief lifetime, Harambe the Silverback Gorilla penned 19 novels and 74 short stories under the pseudonyms Stephenie Meyer and Christine Schutt?
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| Jewish people raped these people
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April 26: Hyperbole Day
- Millions of years ago - Hyperbole Day is founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time.
- 1756 - The exclamation point is born on this fantastic day!
- 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's AMAZING!
- 1922 - Warren G. Harding's popularity is at an all time high! New York Times: "Harding is the best president ever!"
- 1935 - Champagne toasts and caviar dreams greet newborn Robin Leach!
- 1944 - Concentration camp deaths in Poland reach a new zenith! Hitler asks, "Who knew Jews could be so results oriented?"
- 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever.
- 1975 - The worst day in the history of the universe, so much so that no one mentions it and so we no longer know when it was. But we do know that it was some time between 1965 and 1988.
- 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting!
- 1986 - The Chernobyl nuclear power plant randomly asploded after Cher poured vodka into the reactor instead of plutonium.
- 1988 - A group of the world most talented musicians come together to write the greatest song in the history of the world. It has a sound so astonishingly incredible and so incredibly beautiful that people come from all over the world just to hear it played at its one and only live performance at the grandest stadium in the world, the Metrodome.
- 1990 - Oprah is so hungry she could eat a horse. Twice!
- 2006 - Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy spews out sperm so high it touches the stars.
- 2011 - I just had sex! And it felt so good!!! Ya know a woman let me put my penis inside her!!! Say goodbye to cats!!!!!
- 2016 - You become a 1337 haxor for 5 seconds before going back to being a n00b.
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