Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

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Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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July 16: International Turning Japanese Day (America, 1980s)

  • 1812 - Neils Bohr lays out the first Table of the Elements, containing less than half of the elements known today, but including most of the important ones such as Linoleum and Kryptonite.
  • 1862 - American Civil War: David Farragut becomes the first United States Navy rear admiral, becoming the butt end of 'rear admiral' jokes for decades.
  • 1945 - The Age of Large, Mutated Reptiles begins (pictured) when the United States successfully detonates a nuclear weapon, unleashing gigantic horrors upon the world (mostly Japan).
  • 1972 - The Time Cubicle Theory is first developed. The lead theorist was certainly not on any sort of brutally mind-bending narcotics.
  • 1980 - The Vapors release their song Turning Japanese which piques the world's attention. This would cause over 50 countries to try to invade China.
  • 1984 - Americans misunderstand the concept of hentai and start doing perverted bondage acts with chickens.
  • 1994 - Disney releases the animated movie The Lion King despite accusations of plagiarism of the Japanese animated movie Emperor Lion/ Kimba the White Lion. Disney lawyers assert that Lion King is about a young lion whose parents are killed and is advised by a baboon, while Emperor/ Kimba is about a young lion whose parents are killed and is advised by a baboon.
  • 1994 - Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 collides with Jupiter and is sentenced to twenty space-years of probation for reckless endangerment and orbiting without a license.
  • 2002 - My dissertation on Modern Advances in Mathematical Theory suitably impresses the brunette in the fifth row, and we retire to the library for a cozy study session and a quick bout of intercourse.
  • 2012 - Lionsgate releases the dystopian movie Hunger Games despite charges of plagiarism of the Japanese dystopian movie Battle Royale (2000). US film industry lawyers note that Hunger Games is about a violent last-man-standing competition between students while Battle Royale is about the same thing, pretty much, with an identical plot, except US judges haven't seen the latter film and are pretty much a bunch of racists anyway.

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