Babel:Te

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God has written 37,251 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Henry Kissinger

Henry Kissinger.png

Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)

Previously featured article – Rastadon

Mastadon01.jpg

The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Facehugger dinner 01.jpg

June 10: Try a New Type of Crappy Food Day, Processed Food Product Appreciation Day

  • 31964 BCE - World population reaches 15.
  • 31963 BCE - Earth's population becomes 14.5 after strange boulder incident occurs.
  • 31962 BCE - Space hobos forced back into ocean once and for all, there is much rejoicing.
  • 69 CE - A new way of having sex is invented although not the 69, oddly enough. It was the much less popular 1^1^1, which never really caught on.
  • 1932 - Harlem renaissance poet Langston Hughes writes the first Yo momma joke.
  • 1979 - Hershey's releases their first non-candy effort, Hugs. (pictured) It does not prove to be popular, as most people are found trying it only once.
  • 1992 - The Cherokee Nation becomes extinct due to overpopulation of Grue.
  • 2005 - Rosie O'Donnell explodes from over-eating again. Out of 9 lives she now only has one left.
  • 2006 - Wayne Rooney kicks a football on live television – crowd goes wild.
  • 2007 - The second coming of Elvis occurs. First words are 'I was just kidding everybody...uh huh.'
  • 2007 - David Letterman tells something funny. A local black community want him on the KFC menu.
  • 2007 - The King's second drug problem is revealed when he is found dead at a Toronto convenience store near the cave he was hiding in.
  • 2007 - Pete Sampras declared world's first lead-eating champion by default after being held up in traffic for tournament duration.
  • 2010 - First koala goes to the Moon, makes a thrilling scientific discovery and wins the Nobel Prize. Everyone makes 'Aww...' noises. Nine thousand disillusioned koalas top themselves.
  • 2016 - The Colonel's recipe of eleven herbs and spices is accidentally revealed, exposing the two-thousand-year-old Illuminati/space alien/Bush/Clinton conspiracy to control the world's supply of food that comes in buckets.

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