Babel:Te

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Te:)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,404 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

AlexanderIV.jpg

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

Muggins.jpg

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

HMUDeclaration.jpg

Jülÿ 29: Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt Däÿ

  • c.11,000 BCE - Dëëp underground below ancient mountains, mysterious dwärfs forge the first Hëävy Mëtäl Ümläüt. It is stolen by an evil dragon, who flies over land and sea to the place known as China and has cheap knöcköffs made. The original would be lost to history until the second century CE.
  • 166 - King Arthur dëcïdës thät chängïng hïs nämë tö "Kïng Ärthür" wïll mäkë hïm söünd härdcörë, thüs märkïng thë fïrst üsë öf thë Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüt.
  • 189 - Döcümënts from this year are dïscövered by ärchæölögïsts in 1897 showing the ëxtënsïve use of Hëävy Mëtäl Ümläüts. The ümläüts will be läter föünd to be bëëtle dämäge.
  • 1776 - Thömäs Jëffërsön, ä nötëd Hëävÿ Mëtäl fän, ädds Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüts tö thë bëgïnnïng tëxt öf thë Dëclärätïön öf Ïndëpëndëncë (pïctürëd) tö mäkë thë Ü.S. sëëm pöwërfül tö Kïng Gëörgë ÏÏÏ.
  • 1949 - Chäïrmän Mäö Zëdöng ännöüncës thät änÿönë ïn Chïnä whö döës nöt wrïtë thëïr Chïnësë wïth ümläüts övër thëïr chäräctërs wïll bë sübjëct tö rë-ëdücätïön.
  • 1957 - The Swiss government mandates the use of Hëävÿ Mëtäl Ümläüts in all öffïcïal döcümënts in order to support the ink-making industry.
  • 1961 - Ü.S. Prësïdënt Jöhñ F. Këññëdÿ ëntërs öffïcë wïth tïldës övër hïs n's. Twö ÿëärs lätër, hë ïs ässässïnätëd bÿ Lëë Härvëÿ Öswäld, whö fäïlëd Spänïsh äs ä chïld.
  • 1975 - Controversy flares as Lemmy Kilmeister finds his proposed band name, Mo'er'ed, has already been claimed. He then changes the name to The Ärchïës.
  • 1979 - Ozzy Osbourne is fired from Black Sabbath for trying to add an omelette to the band's name.
  • 1985 - Thë Cöcä-Cölä Cömpänÿ ïntrödücës Nëw Côkë, ä värïänt öf Cöcä-Cölä wïth ä cïrcümflëx. Thë nëw drïnk fäïls hörrïblÿ änd thë öld Cöcä-Cölä ïs rëïnstätëd.
  • 1998 - Ü.S. Prësïdënt Bïll Clïntøn üsës ä Scändïnävïän "ø" ïn hïs nämë ïnstëäd öf än ümläüt ïn ä lëttër tö Mönïcä Lëwïnskÿ. Thïs rësülts ïn thë Lëwïnskÿ scändäl, whïch älmöst cäüsës Clïntøn's ïmpëächmënt.
  • 2000 - A mysterious disease strikes metal bands, making them lose their umlauts.
  • 2009 - Mötley Crüe enters into talks with Gërmäny over reductions in nüclear ümlaüt proliferation.

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Babel:Te&oldid=6189487"