Babel:Te

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Te:)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,405 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17

NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

AlexanderIV.jpg

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

Muggins.jpg

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Stalin nose.jpeg

August 14: Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL)

  • A long time ago - Emperor Ovaltine consolidates his power in the Galactic Empire. When he hears about it, Mace Window is shocked.
  • 1844 BCE - Toast is invented.
  • 1855 BCE - Following the War of a Thousand Toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 3000 years.
  • 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Germany, is completed. It smells great!
  • 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era.
  • 1987 - A young explorer named Wally ("Waldo" in the Americas) is reported missing.
  • 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddy's friends to be president of the United States.
  • 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word. Eggo remains as a frozen waffle.
  • 2006 - Horizontal line is discovered in your pants.
  • 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants.
  • 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough.
  • 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator is introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator.
  • 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented.
  • 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected.
  • 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.