Babel:Te

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God has written 37,339 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Chess pieces

Lewis Chessman.png

Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence.

Though some rules of the game have been adapted slowly over the millennia, the pieces have remained mostly unchanged and continue to move in much the same way as they did for intellectual wannabes in ancient India, friendless geeks in Sassanid Persia, and social inadequates in Moorish Spain.

When a game begins, each side starts with eight pawns (Australian English: Shrimps) - twelve short of a barbie. As the least valuable and most expendable member of your army, your pawns should be assigned a place in the front rank of the infantry. Do not waste body-armour or weapons on these grunts. Advanced players use terror and centuries of oppression to compel their pawns to advance unarmed and unarmoured across the open battlefield, even in the face of airborne attack from the Rooks. (more...)

Previously featured article – John Mahama

John Mahama knives.jpg

John Dramani Mahama (born 29 November 1958) is the 12th and 14th President of Ghana, his current term having begun on 7 January 2025. Ghanaian voters were inspired by Donald Trump being both the 45th and 47th U.S. President and anxious to prove that Ghana could do it too. They were also ready for another go, having had four years to recover from Mahama's first Presidency. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Pope gets down.jpg

June 16: World Hunger Appreciation Day

  • 1586 - Mary Queen of Scots takes tea, foregoes crumpet. She is thrown in Tower by Elizabeth I five days later.
  • 1837 - The muffin man began to build his reputation.
  • 1846 - Pius IX is elected pope on the strength of his fetching rendition of the Macarena. Through similar means he later secures successive terms in office and becomes the longest-reigning pope since the days of St. Peter's last miracle.
  • 1858 - Abraham Lincoln famously states that a house divided against itself cannot support itself very well and might very well lean to one side or perhaps fall over in some cases, if not completely just remain as is until some unfortunate earthquake or something ends its crippled being.
  • 1904 - Bloomsday. The events of James Joyce's novel, Ulysses, take place. Nothing happens.
  • 1916 - Lost explorers discover what they believe to be the only flower living within a 250km radius of the South Pole. They divide it up and eat it ravenously but still die from hypothermia.
  • 1952 - A plush dog toy braves the high seas of the English Channel in a brave attempt to find his father in France. It is dognapped by a skilled team of dognappers.
  • 1968 - The Rhode Island Toothpick Massacre: Newton G. Hardwick of Pawtucket steals a box of toothpicks from a local Wal-Mart and goes on a rampage, leaving one person bruised and five more slightly peeved.
  • 1968 - The Grease Hut donates four industrial-sized vats of grease to starving children in Africa. However, even they won't touch the stuff.
  • 1969 - A plush dog toy escapes from captivity by mauling his captors to death; it shares its compelling story with French media. The dog toy eventually finds its father, a stuffed German shepherd.
  • 1975 - Speed Racer breaks through Mach 5.
  • 1996 - Thomas The Tank Engine makes a TV come-back after reenacting The Great Train Robbery.
  • 2002 - The graphic designer who created Comic Sans dies a slow, painful death. Millions grin smugly.
  • 2006 - Some Uncyclopedia user creates a crappy entry on June 16, 2006 about Microsoft. It is promptly deleted by a literate user.

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