Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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December 29: Oh No You Fucking Don't Day

  • In the beginning - After too many Russian reversal jokes, God turns the key and resets the universe to start the Big Bang all over again. In the process, coding for wonderful broxilopes and much-needed florpiness is lost forever.
  • In the beginning - After one too many bad fake Oscar Wilde quotes, God once again hits the reset button and starts the Big Bang once again. This time, the quotes have already reached critical mass and fail to die. God then decides to punish the writers by creating killer bees, Rasberry Crazy Ants and Andy Dick.
  • In the beginning - After too many Chuck Norris jokes, God turns the key and resets the universe to start the Big Bang all over again. He then allows perpetual stupidity and constant warfare, which only leads to more Chuck Norris jokes.
  • 1434 - At the instigation of Gavin Menzies, Egyptians build the imaginary Suez Canal to allow the imaginary branch of the Grand Chinese Fleet to reach imaginary Italy in order to resupply themselves with imaginary noodles.
  • 1491 - Amerigo Vespucci tries to hide in a back booth in a crowded restaurant, but Columbus is still able to discover Amerigo.
  • 1532 - Children of Orthodox Christians start looking forward to Christmas which for them is sometime in the next 3 months.
  • 1833 - Great Britain abolishes slavery, replacing it with a boot on the back of the neck. Belgium soon follows suit though still allows slavery of people whose names they can't pronounce.
  • 1968 - Lemmings revolt and turn the tables, pushing Disney bulldozers over cliffs.
  • 1981 - Bimbos officially become sluts.
  • 1990 - The Monument to the Unknown Man With Plastic Shopping Bag is dedicated. Singlehanded, he stopped a column of tanks on their way to literally crush the 1989 Tiananmen Square protest. In later years he would be castigated for not using a recyclable bag and the memorial would be paved over for a Walmart parking lot.

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