Babel:Te

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God has written 37,404 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

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Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel)

  • In the beginning - God creates Mojo from leftover positrons and dark matter.
  • A long time ago - God creates Funk, and he sees that it is gooo-ooood.
  • 2000 BCE - Moses opens the first Piggly Wiggly supermarket with the goal of "bringin' chitterlings to all my peeps!"
  • 402 BCE - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage.
  • 14 BCE - Leeroy Jenkins declares, "At least I still have chicken."
  • 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
  • 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
  • 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what is billed as the Spat in the Flat.
  • 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades.
  • 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
  • 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world is postponed once again due to rain.
  • 1980 - Towels are rediscovered just as hyenas take over the French government.
  • 1982 - Pac Man Fever kills 20 million Americans in just a few weeks.
  • 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potato from the top spot for a few weeks.
  • 2002 - Mutant Goombie children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials are blamed.
  • 2003 - In the first smart move made ever by a government, governments everywhere are officially disbanded.
  • 2007 - Jerry Springer is attacked by trailer park midgets.

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