Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

Origiweweweweenal.png

Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

looks just like his father

March 13: Friday the 13th (only when falling on a Friday), Sleeping Baby Day (pictured)

  • 1259 BC - Thou art given a set of commandments to live by, while the rest of the Jews are free to do whatever they please, such as wandering in the desert and eating golden calves at expensive restaurants.
  • 843 - The duck goes "quack."
  • 1139 - Victor IV becomes the antipope, the first with an IV.
  • 1809 - Swedish King Gustav IV is deposed, after posing for animal crackers.
  • 1881 - On third-and-long, The Russia Revolutionaries (an expansion team) elects to go for the bomb, with Alexander II intercepting it and exploding for a touchdown.
  • 1947 - The first murmurings of Holocaust denial denial surface when the existence of a Holocaust denial group in Geneva, Switzerland is questioned. Most people assume wrongly denial is in Egypt, not in Europe.
  • 1991 - TV personality Maury Povich debuts as the host of the quizzically named Maury Povich Show.
  • 1991 - Exxon is made to pay $1 billion for the Exxon Valdez oil spill. Exxon executives openly weep as they are forced to only increase their annual bonuses by 10% instead of the usual 30%. Their drug dealers go into a day of mourning.
  • 2005 - Mobile phones with a new "voice chat" feature appear on the market, but are not well received.
  • 2007 - The new and improved Pee Review is born, bringing Uncyclopedia authors down yet another peg.
  • 2015 - March 13 falls on a Friday resulting in a million naughty kittens appearing in South America for the rest of the day.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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