Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

AlexanderIV.jpg

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

Muggins.jpg

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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Genesis

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Selected Anniversaries

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August 2: Intentionally Give a Stranger Misleading Directions Day

  • 456 - Marauding Mongol hoards are repeatedly given misleading directions, resulting in wide swaths of carnage being cut through unsuspecting and largely unpopulated regions of central Europe.
  • 1101 - Crusaders are given misleading directions so carefully coordinated that the vanguard of the army will attempt to attack the rear guard.
  • 1877 - When asked for directions by a stranger, Oscar Wilde, then at the height of his wit, searingly suggests that the stranger seek directions from his own mother.
  • 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be", the series of events that follow cause the stock market crash and the Great Depression.
  • 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War II by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually a shortcut to Czechoslovakia.
  • 1939 - (12:22pm) Hitler refuses to order troops to stop at a gas station and ask for directions; Warsaw and Krakow are invaded by accident.
  • 1945 - Bugs Bunny fails to make a left at Albuquerque for the first time. It would hardly be the last, with his tunneling eventually causing ground collapse in large parts of New Mexico.
  • 1993 - The shocking discrepancy between male and female drivers who ask for directions is highlighted in a study by Cambridge professor Dr. Gerry von Coppenfeels.
  • 2000 - GPS accuracy for civilian use is upgraded to military levels so that both can be equally lost. Earlier, drivers could be distinguished from each other in heavy fog and in the dark by the more creative cursing used by the military.

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