Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

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Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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August 26: Creationism Vs. Evolution Annual Boxing Match Day, International Ameobic Birthday

  • 200,000,000,000,000,000 BCE - God creates existence. By creating existence, and simultaneously existing before existence, He created a paradox that came alive and tore a hole in the universe. Out of that hole, several thousand extremely surprised roadside diner waitresses named "Tiff" floated out and suddenly (and not that surprisingly) die of asphyxiation.
  • 12,032 BCE - The wheel is invented by Sally and Bill Thompson from Scunthorpe, UK.
  • 5000 BCE - Creationists devolve from Homo sapiens.
  • 1303 - Ala-ud-din Khilji wins Chittoor. It was behind door number 3.
  • 1567 - A great feast held by Duke Crisco The Lard is held at his home in Edinburgh. The resulting mass cannibalism is attributed to the duke's great hunger for "Scots".
  • 1963 - August 26th is designated the official birthday of all ameobas by their UN Representative.
  • 1971 - The discovery that God created evolution makes scientists and theologians come together in a peace pact signed by the seventh incarnation of Charles Darwin, a slightly confused chimpanzee named BoBo, and the Mecha-Pope, a blue 1965 Oldsmobile named Oldsmobile Model #32415 Serial:45563901.
  • 1980 - The peace pact ends when Jerry Falwell decides to test everyone's faith by defying logic, saying that the entire universe was created in a 7 24 hour day period.
  • 1981 - The right wing nutjobs abandon science and logic to be creationists, while the liberal sissies abandon all hope of spiritual salvation and Heaven to be evolutionists.
  • 1990 - At a creation/evolution debate, creationists kick the evolutionist's asses when they use the argument: Where did the ball that started the big bang come from?
  • 1997 - God, seeing all the confusion between the creationists and evolutionists, reacts to it by doing absolutely nothing.
  • 2025 - A pastor begins to question creationism.
  • 2040 - After 60 years of pointless debates from 2 sides which both have truth, creationists and evolutionists come together once again and finally agree that God created evolution. There is now peace on Earth and everyone lives happily ever after.

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