Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

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Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Juan Valdez

April 10: Smoke-'Em-if-Ya-Got-'Em Day

  • 250 million BCE - While it is unclear whether the Siberian Traps were responsible for the Permian-Triassic extinction event, it is known that its volcanoes smoked up to 5 packs of unfiltered cigarettes a day while playing cards.
  • 1490 - Juan Ponce de Leon discovers the Fountain of Youth in Florida, shrugs and sets up a retirement community around it.
  • 1919 - Colombian guerrilla lord Juan Valdez invents coffee.
  • 1926 - Polio victim FDR still can't feel his legs; So he feels up Lucy Mercer instead. This would cause friction at the Yalta Conference when he feels Stalin's hand on her leg.
  • 1952 - Kellogg's Cereals introduces Atomic-O's claiming that there are "vitamins, minerals and Uranium257 in each glowing bite."
  • 1959 - Basic Instinct starring Sharon Stone's nether regions is released.
  • 1962 - Billy finds papa's smokes. He's got 'em, he smokes 'em.
  • 1964 - Professor Andmaryann discovers coconuts.
  • 1970 - Paul McCartney announces Beatles breakup, and everybody tokes.
  • 1989 - PPPPPPPP Emma Pie is birthed, not in a galaxy far far away, but near your local convenience store dairy section.
  • 1996 - Tired of being ridiculed by fans, Michael Jackson finally admits, yes, it does matter whether you're black or white, and to get a pay raise, he turns white.
  • 2005 - Dennis Rodman's hair develops sentience, takes over South America.
  • 2006 - MIT scientist discover that "crack iz wack".
  • 2007 - Hundreds injured while trying to grab bargains at the After Easter Markdown Days Sale at KKK-Mart in Gritlyville, Missouri. "Oh, the humanity!"
  • 2012 - Al Gore drops out of presidential race after revealing photos of him and Michel Moore trading carbon offsets is published in the German magazine Siegessaeule.

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