Babel:Te

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Te:)
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,400 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

Muggins.jpg

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

Recently featured:

Previously featured article – Star Trek

StarTrekOrig01.jpg

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Bat bat bat.jpg

April 8: International Things That Rhyme With 'Bat' Day

  • 563 BCE - Buddha is born. Under a tree he sat.
  • 432 BCE - Artemus of Capadocia introduces kitten huffing to the world when he huffs a small cat.
  • 73 CE - Pliny the Elder records the first instance of fortune telling through analysis of scat.
  • 881 - Holy Roman Emperor Charles III is given the nickname Charles the Fat as all the good nicknames were already taken. And that is that.
  • 1611 - A new sport is introduced when Swedish people use a cannon to launch a rat.
  • 1656 - Rembrandt buys a can of glossy brown paint only to find it is matte.
  • 1885 - Industrialist Andrew Carnegie thinks his secretary tells him that he is a milliner. So he makes a hat.
  • 1935 - FDR signs Emergency Relief Appropriation Act, then dances a jig and falls flat.
  • 1998 - Another explosion occurs in the usually serene inlet of Michael Bay, sounding like this: 'splat'.
  • 2006 - Conservapedia is founded and its editors immediately make such valid claims as 'the Earth is flat'.
  • 2011 - Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal proves himself to be a prat.

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.

Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Babel:Te&oldid=6189487"