Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Alexander IV

AlexanderIV.jpg

Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.

Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.

Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Arthur Currie

Muggins.jpg

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

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Selected Anniversaries

FOR THE KING

August 19: Battle of Knockdoe Day

  • 1501 - The de Burghs and Fitzgeralds agree to have a glorious battle in Knockdoe next year.
  • 1502 - Ulick Burke too hung over to remember what day it is; Gerald Fitzgerald is "super pissed" that he didn't show up.
  • 1503 - Gerald Fitzgerald is too hung over to attend the battle; Ulick Burke calls him a damn hypocrite.
  • 1504 - The Battle of Knockdoe: a bunch of Normans and Irish chop each other to pieces, probably forever altering English history or something.
  • 1524 - Studies show that fewer than 1% of schoolchildren have ever heard of the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1692 - Salem witch trials: five witches are put to death, reducing the witch population of Salem by approximately 40%.
  • 1919 - Afghanistan gains independence from the United Kingdom, bringing an end to the Second Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1944 - World War II: Paris is liberated from German occupation in what is considered a stunning re-enactment of the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1952 - Jonathan Frakes, an actor who portrayed William Riker, is born in order to commemorate the 448th anniversary of the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1991 - Collapse of the Soviet Union: Mikhail Gorbachev placed under house arrest while watching a docudrama about the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 1994 - Linus Pauling dies of massive vitamin C overdose in an event completely unrelated to the Battle of Knockdoe.
  • 2004 - Quinticentennial celebration of the Battle of Knockdoe: it is said to be "pretty fucking awesome" despite no one showing up.
  • 2005 - A lonely tourist kisses the Blarney Stone, ends up in extended makeout session.
  • 2010 - The parish of Lackagh, former site of the Battle of Knockdoe, is found to be infested with stinking drunken Irishmen.

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