Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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February 18: Martian Invasion Day

  • 1789 - Capybaras decide to part their hair on the right side. For unknown reasons, this enrages Martians.
  • 1877 - Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli is the first to observe canali on Mars, leading to people speculating that there is water in canals and therefore life on Mars. However, we know today Schiaparelli was misinterpreted, actually saying he saw carnivali with large Ferris wheels and roller coasters.
  • 1881 - Martians begin to eye Earth while their 35 other eyes keep to the task at hand: Go Fish.
  • 1898 - Martians attempt their first invasion of the Earth. They attempt to establish fast-growing Martian red weed but immediately upon planting it is snatched up by humans and smoked. They are also keen on hentai tentacle rape but catch so many STDs that they nearly all die.
  • 1932 - The Mars Bar is invented in England and successfully invades the rest of the world, using the name "Mickey Way" in America. Martians are agog, while Adolf Hitler watches and waits.
  • 1953 - Martians invade again, this time hiding in a sandpit in the US. They now have new technology, miniaturized mind control devices that are very slowly implanted for dramatic tension. Unfortunately their hulking minions get their zippers caught on anything and everything, even underground. After worrying they might have left the stove on, Martians decide to return home.
  • 1977 - Little silver aliens attempt to land in the US but are foiled as their landing spot, a pile of mashed potatoes, proves to be too soft due to too much milk and butter added to the mix.
  • 1978 - Invading Martians are driven off again, this time by the repetitive prog rock soundtrack used with news programming and a droning Richard Burton doing voiceover commentary.
  • 2000 - Rock finally beats paper but is disqualified on appeal after camera review.
  • 2010 - Martians land again but it is only to return the Sojourner and Spirit rover vehicles with parking tickets attached.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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