Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling.

At the beginning of time, Switzerland was a small moon orbiting the Earth, populated entirely by cows, sheep, and shepherd dogs; it is now thought to be where those creatures came from in the first place and it was known as tobleronistan.

Location of Switzerland, according to CNN. Due to continental drift, the country now lies south of Germany.

After being sent down to Earth, having fallen behind on sky-high rent, Switzerland came to be located south of Germany, bordering France, Italy, Australia and Liechtenstein. Switzerland annexed Czechia in 1990 because the country got too cramped and stuff is cheaper in eastern Europe, although today most Swiss are known to have trillions of dollars in the bank. (more...)

Previously featured article – St. Pierre and Miquelon

St. Pierre and Miquelon Flag Final.PNG

St. Pierre and Michelob (technically, the Territorial Collectivity of Saint Pierre et Michelob; French: Collectivité territoriale de Saint-Pierre-et-Michelob), is an archipelago of small islands off the coast of eastern Canada, the main islands being St. Pierre and Michelob, south of the Canadian province of Newfoundland and Labatt. The islands come within 10 km of Newfoundland. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

A picture of the universe later this year.

January 1: International "Let's Get Hammered!" Day (not including Saudi Arabia), New Year's Day (Ireland)

  • 5,985,895,625 BCE - Satan invents time. God steals Satan's invention, kicks him in the nuts, and begins creating the blueprint for humanity. In disgust, Satan gets hammered, creating another blueprint for humanity.
  • 1237 BCE - Thor misinterprets the holiday and manages to destroy half the universe.
  • 0 - Worldwide fireworks displays celebrating new year mistaken for creation of light by God.
  • 404 - First time predictions of an apocalypse are found to be untrue, as a global 404 Error does not occur.
  • 1912 - Women learn how to vote, albeit through the strict instruction of men.
  • 1918 - Prohibition starts in the U.S. and the day becomes Let's Pretend We're Not Getting Hammered Even Though We Already Were Buzzed From Last Night Day.
  • 1954 - Second World War begins (Canada only).
  • 1983 - New Year's Day is invented by U2 in song. A quick followup, Groundhog Day, fails to catch the public's fancy and the band is forced to flee to Bulgaria.
  • 1989 - It's Hammer Time, but everyone is already too hammered to notice initially.
  • 2000 - Y2K bug fails to destroy internet; few are disappointed.
  • 3000 - Fry gets defrosted, makes friends with a suicidal robot. After 4 or 5 velvet hammers each, they walk into traffic and are run over by George Jetson.
  • 10000 - IT consultants fail to fix Y10K 2: Electric Boogaloo. People have come to expect this from Microsoft by now.

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