Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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March 8: Trans-European Trim Those Nose Hairs Day, Search and Destroy Oscar Wilde Shippers Day

  • 808 - Argle bargle infinitesimal flea splitters rumple cargilous mentalfloss.
  • 1213 - While moustaches are important, trimmed nose hairs are equally so. Therefore knights and noblemen would put sharp angled points on their swords to do the job.
  • 1616 - Method acting is developed by Shakespeare's troupe. In a scene requiring a deeply pained performance, an actor would quickly pluck out a nose hair, ensuring so much pain as to give a convincing show of emotion, tears and all.
  • 1711 - Powdered wigs become very popular among the wealthy, but they would often forget to dye their nose hairs to match.
  • 1894 - Fans are outraged by lurid fanfiction written about Oscar Wilde. They later find the writing to be entries from Wilde's diary. They then let their hair grow long, and buy mohair suits and pimp sticks to become like their god.
  • 1896 - Men would begin parting their nose hairs down the middle during this time. They would eventually part nose hairs on one side or the other by 1940, always carrying a nose hair comb in a pocket. Women favored nose hair perms to match whatever style was popular at the time.
  • 1923 - The henna rinse becomes popular with women for coloring mismatched nose hairs. This process would be later known as waterboarding.
  • 1968 - Hippies refuse to trim their nose hairs, scandalizing the world. They are shipped off en masse to Viet Nam to be used as human shields, as their smell repels the Viet Cong and snipers are camouflaged by the huge masses of unkempt nose hairs.
  • 1974 - The French build the Exocet missile to destroy the ever-growing Oscar Wilde cult of false quotes in order to promote writers of fake Gustave Flaubert quotes.
  • 1986 - Weasels gain the spotlight, popularized in the movie Ferret Bueller's Day Off.
  • 1992 - Michael Jackson buys a sword from 1213.
  • 2014 - The nose hair man bun becomes briefly popular. As it interferes with breathing, it quickly falls out of favor even though fart odors are filtered out effectively.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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