Babel:Te

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The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,345 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17

NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – The Witcher

TheWitcher01.jpg

The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.

The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.

A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)

Previously featured article – Chess pieces

Lewis Chessman.png

Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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July 24: Pioneer Day (Utah), Polygamy Week begins (also Utah)

  • 967 - As I was going to St. Ives, I meet a man with seven wives. Each wife has seven cats, each cat has seven kits. I get the worst case of Cat-scratch disease you could imagine after trying to huff them all.
  • 1132 - The Battle of Nocera between Ranulf II of Alife and Roger II of Sicily takes place in Italy. Ranulf's fettucine narrowly bests Roger's linguine, and Italy adopts fettucine as the National Stereotypical Food.
  • 1487 - Citizens of Leeuwarden, Netherlands, unsatisfied with watered-down domestics, rebel against a ban on foreign beer.
  • 1762 - New Yorkers are frightened when something long and green is seen moving through the streets of the city. Upon finding it is a St. Patrick's Day parade still marching after four months, they become even more frightened.
  • 1828 - Patrick Bell invents the reaping machine. The Grim Reaper is an early adopter but has trouble getting it to work efficiently until the 1860s.
  • 1884 - Hiram Maxim invents the Maxim gun, the basis for the modern machine gun. Not realizing it was a weapon of war, it was bought by the thousands by organ grinders with tragic results.
  • 1947 - Brigham Young and all his merry wives arrive in Utah to establish Mormonism, and in doing so guaranteed that even the ugliest son of a bitch (pictured) can have multiple mates.
  • 1970 - The pocket calculator is invented, enabling easy identification of nerds.
  • 1983 - Hacker Richard M. Stallman launches the GNU project, an effort to protect the endangered buffalo-like animal from extinction, using mainly open-source code. Gnus would insist that the project be written entirely in BASIC.
  • 2000 - While on the Presidential campaign trail, George W. Bush reads a guide to living life that helps him on his way to the Oval Office. Dick Cheney helps him with the bigger words.
  • 2008 - The Dark Knight is released, becoming an instant box-office smash hit, and reaching the all-time pinnacle for film for all history. However, Monty Python fans expecting a story about the Black Knight are deeply disappointed.

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