Babel:Te

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,405 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

Origiweweweweenal.png

Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Geniuses

March 2: International Kill a Cartoon Character Day

  • 40 million BCE - Heaven is created after God gets drunk and accidentally kills Tony the Tiger and needs a place to hide the body.
  • 1901 - Heaven is finally accepted as a member of the United Nations, just a shade over 40 million years after Tony the Tiger's death.
  • 1902 - Nietzsche kills the Trix Rabbit over the latter's Überwabbit philosophical theories.
  • 1912 - Chip and Dale get killed in fiery auto accident with Donald Duck and a turkey. Turducken is then invented when the group is found to taste "just like chicken".
  • 1962 - Barbara Walters begins murdering the Rice Crispy boys one by one by breaking their necks with a satisfying *snap*, *crackle* and *pop*.
  • 1967 - To the relief of Tokyoites, Godzilla just comes as far as Zushi Beach to enjoy a sunny day. He builds an immense sandcastle, plays in the surf, then returns to the ocean at sunset. Later, winds would blow the sand into Tokyo, destroying it.
  • 1973 - Bob the Builder is killed by Patrick Stewart in freak dodgeball accident.
  • 1978 - The Roadrunner pushes Wile E. Coyote off a cliff.
  • 1984 - Gorby names March 2 the "Saddest day ever".
  • 1985 - New Kids on the Block kill Fat Albert, proving they have some kind of talent after all.
  • 1992 - A giant Kryptonian beast kills Superman, just before having a couple tall buildings for dessert.
  • 1994 - This is the day that I kill Kenny. (You bastard!)
  • 1996 - Sylvester Stallone kills Sylvester the Cat for name rights.
  • 1999 - Disney cartoon characters are murdered by more favored anime fans.
  • 2001 - President Bush's "War on Spongebob" begins with the carpet bombing of Bikini Bottom. This is just another example of one cartoon character trying to kill another.
  • 2008 - Popeye dies after being poisoned by Salmonella bacteria in spinach.
  • 2010 - Sam I Am chokes on his Green Eggs and Ham. He is a poet but don't know it.
  • 2012 - Itchy and Scratchy kill Tom and Jerry.

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.

  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Babel:Te&oldid=6189487"