Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Henry Kissinger

Henry Kissinger.png

Henry (born Heinz) Alfred Kissinger (May 27, 1923 – November 29, 2023) is the most notorious bore of 20th-century international politics and the chief proponent of Realpolitik. He developed an approach to diplomacy called Primat der Außenpolitik and an approach to language involving sprinkling pretentious foreign words everywhere. His unintelligible advice baffled both Richard Nixon and thus certainly Gerald Ford, the two U.S. Presidents under whom he served between 1969 and 1977. His call for détente in U.S.–Soviet relations sent leaders of both nations to the dictionary, hoping it meant something dirty. His diplomacy played a crucial role in 1971 talks with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai that concluded with a rapprochement between Kissinger and a lot of hot Chinese chicks. In the crowning achievement of his career, he was awarded the 1973 Nobel Peace Prize for talking Nixon out of his last-ditch plan to win the Vietnam War by carpet-bombing Stockholm. (more...)

Previously featured article – Rastadon

Mastadon01.jpg

The Rastadon (Mamut rastadonis) is a mammalian species often confused with the more common Mastodon. The Rastadon was more intelligent, had a more complex social structure, and showed many other attributes usually associated with humanity, such as their own religion and communual smoking. The species now has only one living member and will go extinct when he rolls up his last reefer. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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June 20: "Have A Nice Day" Day, Nice Day Appreciation Day (New Zealand), Just Another Day (Earth)

  • A Long Time Ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away: Darth Vader, The Emperor, Yoda and Luke Skywalker are ordered by the Imperial Senate to take acting lessons.
  • 1782 - The U.S. Congress establishes the Great Seal of the United States. It is a California seal named Buster.
  • 1801 - Buster is killed in a British terrorist attack on Brooklyn Zoo. Buster's daughter Bibi is named National Seal. Salmon stage protests in major cities.
  • 1877 - Alexander Graham Bell installs the world's first telephone service so that he can build his phone sex empire – it would become very successful.
  • 1883 - Oscar Wilde completes his play The Duchess of Paduan, which would later be converted into the Star Wars septology.
  • 1893 - Lizzie Borden is acquitted for the murders of her father and stepmother, mostly due to the court allowing Borden to brandish an axe at the prosecution, judge, jurors, and small children in the audience.
  • 1923 - The United States government interrupts 30 years of nothing happening on June 20 to wish everyone "a nice day."
  • 1925 - The "Have A Nice Day" riots finally subside.
  • 1926 - Indictments for "Have A Nice Day" riots quashed. Judge says "have a nice day". Riots resume, ending after martial law declared.
  • 1927 - Everyone finally has a nice day on Have A Nice Day Riots Day Day. Only minor rioting happens, as people too confused by its name.
  • 1959 - A rare hurricane strikes Canada's Gulf of St. Lawrence, destroying vast sasquatch habitat and postponing the National Curling Championships.
  • 1963 - The United States and the Soviet Union establish the "red telephone" line so that the leaders of both nations can ask how each others' day was and generally make small talk, replacing the old method of communication between the two, threatening each other with nuclear war.
  • 2289 - The British finally land on the moon. They discover that tea cannot be taken in 1/8 gravity, cancelling the mission amid a not so nice day.

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