Babel:Te

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Welcome to WikiTestament

The free Internet Bible that anyone can edit.


God has written 37,394 Bible stories since opening in AD 1.

Before editing, please check your sources with God, or you will be banished to the wasteland that is Wikipedia.

Browse: Politics - Games - Computers - People - Quaint - Coherent
Most Popular - Alphabetical Index - Other Categories...

THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

Origiweweweweenal.png

Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

That's no moon...

January 30: Well Worn Cliché Day

  • A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away.... - The evil armies attack, and only a hero can save the light side.
  • Once upon a time - A young girl, living in poverty, meets Prince Charming and they live happily ever after. That is, until their castle is sold to the Disney Group and they are forced to pose for pictures with sweaty, smelly commoner tourists.
  • 1110 - Better to have loved and lost than to have never loved before. Even though all your exes took your car and all your money each time.
  • 1111 - Besides, there's plenty more fish in the sea, who, when finding out you just won the lottery, take all your money and run Venezuela.
  • 1268 - A battle of epic proportions occurs. The bad guys lose and the half-good guys win. Our heroes from the future find themselves trapped in this age of rape and plundering, and just as they are to be executed for public fornication, the funky professor back in the future figures out a way to save them, and bring them back.
  • 1859 - Abraham Lincoln fights his evil twin.
  • 1939 The bad guys are a bunch of Nazis. Wow, that's really original.
  • 1945 - President Truman considers bombing Japan with the A-bomb. "It's crazy", he says, "but just crazy enough to work."
  • 1960 - The first American movie is released involving guns, aliens, tits, love-triangles, dinosaurs, Mars, and a young misfit whose strange talent is needed to save the world.
  • 1979 - The Japanese release their first movie, game, book, and porno where key characters die for shock value. The survival rate of Japanese characters lowers to 10%.
  • 2003 - America liberates Iraqistan to bring freedom to the Arabs. The liberal media rejects patriotism.
  • 2007 - You wake up, and it was all a dream.
  • 2010 - Aliens invade, but they have a hidden weakness which is discovered just in time. Hint: s'mores and enemas.
  • 2011 - Aliens invade again, different aliens. We shoot the mother ship with a one-in-a-million chance of it hitting. It hits.
  • 2017 - A rag-tag misfit with his own set of rules is persuaded to help the police track down the kitten ripper bandit in order to buy his own freedom. Seventeen sequels follow.
  • 2407 - Super Mario makes an appearance in his 1,309th video game entitled Mario Saves the Princess, AGAIN. It never gets old, does it?
  • 9000 - Vegeta finally gets the meme about his catchphrase.

For God-related chat, see #uncyclopedia @ IRCnet. (If you don't have an IRC client, you can use this link.) Just change the nickname to your Uncyclopedia name and the channel to #uncyclopedia.)

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and Almighty Satan.

  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
Retrieved from "https://uncyclopedia.com/w/index.php?title=Babel:Te&oldid=6189487"