Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Dude, I, like, pwn you!

January 26: National Hail Zeus Day (Ancient Greece)

  • Beginning of Time - Zeus is begat by Chronos and Chaos. You really don't want to know the details.
  • 3457 BCE - Zeus gets it on with his wife/sister, Hera. He has Orpheus invent the banjo to provide some mood music for their wedding night. Unfortunately, the song he creates for that special occasion is later used in the film Deliverance.
  • 78 - Chickens convert to Christianity in droves and rise in revolt but they are slaughtered by the millions.
  • 353 - Christianity takes a whack at Zeus. Cthulhu bides his time.
  • 700 - Zeus commands the French to worship him. When they refuse, he curses them with garlic and an irrational fear of washing.
  • 1879 - Zeus smites the prototype caboose to avert unflattering poetry. Unfortunately, it is reinvented three days later.
  • 1901 - The popular phrase "I don't give a fuck" is used for the first time by John Keats when he finds out that the toothpaste he was using is actually his shaving cream.
  • 1922 - Zeus is so nearly forgotten by this time that most people celebrate the day by going to their local zoos.
  • 1939 - The Zeus suit is created, with a reet pleat and drape shape.
  • 1947 - Zeus withdraws his sponsorship of Captain Marvel and Achilles follows suit. The superhero then signs up Poseidon and Orion. With Billy Batson prohibited from shouting "SHAZAM!" (Solomon, Hercules, Atlas, Zeus, Achilles, Mercury), he now yells "SHAMPOO!" to transform into Captain Marvel, leading to mockery by his evil opponents and his younger brother.
  • 1959 - Under the pen name Dr. Zeuss, Zeus begins to write children's literature. His first book is "Hop on MILF", in which a Greek god transforms into various animals in order to make out with human women.
  • 1974 - Zeus curses John Boorman for using his wedding-night song in Deliverance. When Boorman's next film, Zardoz, flops, Zeus simply laughs.
  • 2002 - Zeus decides he doesn't like George W. Bush and decides to strike him down, but can't find any lightning bolts. Instead he sends him a cursed pretzel.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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