Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – The Witcher

TheWitcher01.jpg

The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula.

The author of The Witcher is Andrzej Sapkowski (born 1948). He is a Polish-born writer who started his Witcher short stories in the 1980s. This was followed by books in the 1990s, which took almost as long to finish as George R. R. Martin's A Game of Thrones, not ending until 2013. It took even longer for them to be translated into English. Some wish the copyright holders hadn't bothered.

A witcher is essentially a male witch or warlock with the yellow eyes of a cat. He has some magic tricks but normally prefers to express himself with his sword(s). Witchers don't like to talk too much and physically look like Arnold Schwarzenegger's son. Except a witcher is also a 'mutant' and sterile as a jackass. (more...)

Previously featured article – Chess pieces

Lewis Chessman.png

Chess is often thought of as a game for pretentious tossers, and for teenage nerds in need of a competitive pastime that doesn’t necessarily end with them being wedgied. But this image is outdated. These days the game is also played by boxers desperate to show that repeated brain trauma has not affected their intelligence. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Beaver confused.jpg

July 2: Canada Day (Canada) (if July 1 falls on a Sunday (which it didn't)), Confusing Parentheses Day

  • 1280 BCE - Egyptians invent punctuation but it would prove to be unpopular until the first grammarnazi schoolteacher is born over two thousand years later. She would correct mistakes on her own birth certificate just after being born.
  • 873 BCE - The sport of curling disappears when extreme desertification strikes Egypt.
  • 1492 - After becoming extremely confused by oceanic parentheses, Christopher Columbus arrives in The New World, believing it to be China.
  • 1566 - French astrologer Nostradamus dies. Didn't see that one coming, did ya Nostradamus?
  • 1698 - Thomas Savery patents the first steam engine, designed to mechanically move a horse's legs so as to reduce the amount of effort required to pull a horse-drawn buggy.
  • 1755 - The sport of curling is reinvented when brooms are used to hasten the expulsion of Acadians from Canada.
  • 1882 - Oscar Wilde reaches the height of his celebrity, arriving to the premiere of his play The Importance of Being Earnest in a luxury stretch horse buggy.
  • 1933 - The jig is up after being down for over 40 years.
  • 1947 - A weather balloon crashes in the desert near Roswell, New Mexico. The Army covers up the loss of the weather balloon by claiming it was an alien spaceship.
  • 1962 - The first Wal-Mart opens for business in Rogers, Arkansas. The primitive version of the store offers only guns, Confederate flags, and bullets.
  • 1988 - Scientists discover the last breeding pair of parentheses in the Amazon rainforest (they later find that they were wrong(.
  • 1996 - Aliens attack the world, destroying New York, Los Angeles, Washington D.C., everywhere else. Bill Pullman and Will Smith survive.

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