Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

What did you expect?

March 1: National Day of the Grue

  • 390,000,000 BC - A meteor carrying a portion of the dispersed Gruesømellæ germ culture crashes on Earth, killing Chuck Norris.
  • 64,000,000 BC - Gruesømellithicus roams the plains, waiting for unsuspecting tourists.
  • 32 CE - Jesus gets eaten by a metaphysical grue. He is then raised by his heavenly Father, only to be killed by trichinosis.
  • 1349 - Jack the Ripper's antique collection of Mongolian grues is featured in Forbes Magazine. This, according to Tony Blair, 'does not compute', although he said that about most things.
  • 1644 - A toymaker builds a wooden grue puppet which comes alive and wishes it was a real live grue. Being made of wood would not stop it from eating the toymaker, a cricket and a blue fairy.
  • 1632 - Gruel is invented by the grues of London to morph English orphans into grues after long periods of eating it. This plot might have worked, since after 1692, all British orphans disappear.
  • 1984 - Plåygrue releases its first copy; the said copy is later eaten by a grue.
  • 1985 - Landmark decision in Some v. Pestilence: court rules a person eaten by a grue cannot be held legally responsible for death or injury related to ingestion.
  • 1997 - Scientists develop grue-proof armor, and promptly get eaten by Eurgs.
  • 1999 - Ozzy Osbourne bites the head off a grue onstage, is promptly ignored as just another geek sideshow act.
  • 2005 - Wales defeat the grues 11-9 in a massive Six Nations Rugby upset. Unfortunately, the Welsh side are shortly after eaten by said grues.
  • 2006 - 'You are likely to be eaten by a grue' fever sweeps the nation as grues sweep the nation.
  • AD 2101 - War begins as cats battle the grues for control of the earth. The legendary build-a-grue workshop opens during this time period.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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