Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17

NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Star Trek

StarTrekOrig01.jpg

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it.

Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count."

Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...)

Previously featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...)

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Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

Description

March 29: Get Down And Boogie Day in Orthodox Funk

  • 1700 BCE - Moz-Iz eases on down the mountain with the 10 Commandments of Groove.
  • 1580 - The Pope releases his first Billboard hit, F*** The Pro-Testants.
  • 1776 - The Boston Tea Party is ruined when colonists drop the tea in the harbor.
  • 1809 - Pat Sajak is crowned Duke of Fjords in Finland. (pictured)
  • 1844 - The Democrats are split in their convention. Then from Nashville comes a dark horse riding in; it is James K. Polk with the snappy slogan, "Better a Polk in the eye than a limp Johnson".
  • 1902 - Al Gore invents prototype for the internet, known as "Magic Communi-box".
  • 1936 - Joe Louis beats Marvin "The Jersey Jew" Rabinowitz in Madison Square Garden for the heavyweight boxing title. Rabinowitz, 76, would retire to Florida soon afterwards.
  • 1969 - U.S. schools change their atomic bomb attack response protocol from "drop and cover" to "get down and boogie".
  • 1982 - Kentucksylvania admitted as 30th Spade of Amerika.
  • 2003 - The new Guns N' Roses album Chinese Democracy is released to stores in a far away alternate universe.
  • 2011 - Today, a funky possum pisses in your eye.

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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.