Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

a Michael Bay wet dream

March 10: Chuck Norris's & Osama Bin Laden's Birthdays

  • 822 - Peasants happily live with short, harsh and miserable lives in order to be able to do without really bad Chuck Norris and Oscar Wilde jokes.
  • 1871 - Oscar Wilde famously declares: "Working is the scourge of the drinking classes."
  • 1900 - Ferdinand von Zeppelin perfects his lighter-than-air dirigible. The heavier-than-lead dirigible continues to confound him.
  • 1922 - Membership in the Royal Society in Greater Hamptonsonfordshireborough Upon Newcastle reaches its peak. However, they fire the staff of their palatial headquarters and tragically perish of starvation when no member is found who knows how to operate a doorknob.
  • 1940 - Chuck Norris is born. Meanwhile the US has yet to enter WWII so he has no one to roundhouse kick.
  • 1957 - Osama Bin Laden is born on Chuck Norris's 17th birthday. bin Laden immediately attempts to get his millionaire father to drop a gold Acme anvil on Norris for funsies.
  • 1962 - Dr. Jack Kevorkian runs into his first episode of legal issues after endorsing Gold Bond's Medicated Powder featuring TapewormsTM.
  • 1973 - Astronomers discover rings on Uranus. Exactly why they bothered to look becomes the real question. bin Laden is horrified when the joke is explained to him.
  • 1974 - Pairs of criminals learn how to carefully space themselves apart so Chuck Norris can jump and kick them simultaneously.
  • 1979 - Osama bin Laden receives $40 billion from the US and Saudi Arabia to fight the Russians in Afghanistan. This leaves his own millions untouched so that he could buy all the porn and drugs he wants.
  • 1984 - A Washed-Up 70's Rock Band releases Ill-Advised Album in what many feel is the beginning of a decline in music quality. Music critic Captain Obvious agrees, citing the inability to dance the minuet or pavane to their music. Osama bin Laden burns his father's Bing Crosby records in agreement.
  • 2008 - The economy, like, totally starts taking a nosedive. Captain Obvious rears his ugly head again, though he is already on welfare.
  • 2011 - Chuck Norris turns 71 and is officially declared "Hella Old". Bad weather forces special ops teams to take on their secondary target, Osama bin Laden.

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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