Babel:Te

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THE WIKI CREED
For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book,
If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book;
and if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life
—Revelation 22:19-17
NOW GO EDIT SOME STUFF!

Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

You can vote for your favorite passages to be featured.

Books[edit]

Genesis

More of the best of the Bible

Selected Anniversaries

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February 8: Worship an Idol Day (Canaan), Weorshcipe an Heathern God Dai ([Eald England])

  • 4527 BCE - The Eald Englanders worship Odin, although he has not yet obtained an official God licence (for your own contact 0800-GOD-LICENCE-PLEASE (US only)), as he was licenced under Zeus (0300).
  • 1856 BCE - Hebrews arrive at the Promised Land, start worshipping Baal (then no licence, now under 2110).
  • 1020 BCE - Rome built in 23 hours and 58 minutes.
  • 407 BCE - The Olmecs pray to their rain god and are rewarded with huge amounts of rain. Unfortunately, their later prayers to the god of swimming lessons are not heard and the civilization is wiped out.
  • 33 - Jesus visits 50 people at the same time and laughs about how they try to explain it while watching from his cloud.
  • 76 - Roman philosopher Flushibus Maximus publishes his masterpiece, Indoor Plumbing, the Devil Incarnate. Rome is destroyed by typhoid.
  • 77 - Romans pray for deliverance from typhoid. Their pleas are answered by the twin goddesses of tripping and falling and the god of lead poisoning.
  • 1755 - In Massachusetts, John Kerry and the Antipope offer 20 pounds for scalps of Native American boys and girls, Protestants, and Senate Majority Leaders.
  • 1819 - Mary Shelley creates Frankenstein. The beast runs amok and destroys most of the species on Earth. Charles Darwin is inspired by this and together with Richard Dawkins creates the theory of evilution.
  • 1925 - Rl'yeh rises from the ocean floor. The Cthulhu Cult rejoices. The rest of the world shits their pants.
  • 1926 - Simon Cowell rises from the ocean floor. The Cult of Insincere and Soulless Cover Songs rejoices.
  • 2001 - California Adventure establishes its independence from Disneyland, with the aid of terrorists Don al-Duck and Huey Hussein.
  • 2008 - Osama bin Laden is elected member of Parliament for Bradford, Leeds (UK).

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  1. ↑ Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.
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