Uncyclopedia:Complaints Department

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Take a number

If you feel that something ain't right, take a number and make a fuss about it here. We'll look into and either:

a) laugh ourselves wet,

b) do something about it.

c) ban you for some random amount of time for complaining

You might want to look at Report A Problem in case your moan is more suited to that page.

P.S. Uncyclopedia complaints only. We don't want to hear about your mom's rash.

I am the reincarnation of Hemingway

Can you give us a CHANCE please with writing articles before putting "intensive care unit" notes on all the time. My articles are ongoing, it can take hours of work and really messes with my medicated head when ICU things appear. Satire, isn't just taking the mick it's being subtle. In the last 2 days I've done "Hendrix, "Beach Boys" and "Steven Spielberg" All are long stories which I did with respect for the original people because Steve is a director and not just Jewish, Hendrix threw up and died etc... it's cruel to say the obvious. I just ask Unencylopedia to be nicer to the very KIND people who take time out to make the site work. I know ALL of the writers on here and we will ban Unencyclopedia if you aren't nice to us. Love, Ernie (gunshot) See, not funny.

Disturbing

Can someone get rid off the "Horrific rape was really victim's own fault for dressing like a slut" story on the Front page. The article isn't funny or satirical one bit. http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/UnNews:Horrific_rape_was_really_victim%27s_own_fault_for_dressing_like_a_slut

I find it extremely funny. But, if you really think it's offensive... nope, I'm leaving it there. - T.L.B. WotM, UotM, FPrize, AotM, ANotM, PLS, UN:HS, GUN 04:31, Aug 3

Hmmmm... The LedBalloon is typing very sexually suggestively..... —The preceding unsigned comment was added by 137.166.4.130 (talk • contribs)

I'm totally an IP! Go me! Woo! 131.137.245.207 07:29, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Parts of the story are okayish, but some of it does cross the "OMG You did not just go there!" mark

He's got a point - how does an article that gets -3.5 on VFH end up on the front page. Pup t 08:36, 3/08/2009

Because it's on a part of Uncyclopedia that anybody can edit. Also, while the IP can bitch about how unfunny something is, that's what VFD is for (and I doubt it'd end up deleted there). If you don't find something funny, congratulations, you don't find something funny. A world where everybody had the same sense of humour wouldn't be funny at all. Also, not all pages have to be ha ha funny. Satire can be uncomfortably funny. That page is social commentary of the satirical variety. This comment is, too. I'm all social 'n' shit. In Social Studies class, I studied myself. It was an easy A. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 08:43, 3 August 2009 (UTC)

Fair points I guess. I'm taking your advice. Pup t 09:08, 3/08/2009

I can't.

Don't you people get it? I can't Be funny and not just stupid! I just can't! I've tried, really really hard, but it just doesn't work. You can't possibly deny me Uncyclopedia just because of my handicap, can you? Please, it's all I have! Don't be so inhuman! --Chay <Contribs UNSOC Also> 22:17, 18 May 2009 (UTC)

Master Pain's Problem

Could somebody please look into the discussion linked to the word "Problem"? It seems that Master Pain has something he would like to address to you, but could not do so here for some reasons. This may not be the right place to raise such a query, but he seems desperate.
For the slackers, here's the discussion up till the time I posted here:

Hi!

I was blocked from Uncyclopedia about 2 months ago, and I was hoping someone here could persuade one of the moderators to let me off early, to contribute some stuff for the holidays. Also, I can't seem to type on my own talk page without being blocked again. My user name there is Master Pain (also known as Betty) (don't ask). If anyone can help, please do so.
Thanks!

George "Skrooball" Reeves 05:33, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Erm, your block reason is "01:40, 26 October 2006 Famine blocked "Master Pain (also known as Betty) (contribs)" with an expiry time of 3 months (Continued edit warring. No, you are not "back and benevolent now". You're still being a dick.)". That looks pretty self-explanatory to me. You could try asking in #uncyclopedia, though - if you're polite they might unblock you. --86.141.170.118 20:34, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Actually, my computer can't get the IRC thing -- it's a Windows '97! But, really, I kind of got blocked out of the blue. It's not a good story. George "Skrooball" Reeves 21:16, 17 December 2006 (UTC)

Huh? Windows 97!? How did you get such Operating System? Microsoft website doesn't have anything of this Windows. --Edmundkh 11:06, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Maybe he has a partially-functional version of Windows 98. -- Altiris Exeunt 12:56, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Hmm... actually I've seen my cousin's brother having a CD of Windows 97, and I've heard of my classmate who used W97 at that time. But anyway, I'm just curious about W97, as there's no such thing in Microsoft Website --Edmundkh 16:19, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

Sorry, my mistake -- it's a Windows '98. George "Skrooball" Reeves 19:48, 18 December 2006 (UTC)

But, please; can anyone help me? I'd really like to start contributing again. George "Skrooball" Reeves 21:39, 19 December 2006 (UTC)

Anyone, please? George "Skrooball" Reeves 01:26, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Didn't you see 86.141.170.118's advice? Go to the village dump (there's a link on the very first template you see on this article) and make your complain there. When I complained to them about an error in the Russian Reversal quote of All Your Base Are Belong To Us, they rectified it within a day. State your points there, and if the admins see it fit, they'll probably unblock you. -- Altiris Exeunt 01:50, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

But I can't access the Village Dump! I have a Windows '98! If I even try to post on my talk page, I get autoblocked! If you have an account there, then, please: convince them to unblock me! George "Skrooball" Reeves 05:15, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Well, surely you must be able to go round the library or something? Or an internet cafe? It can't be that hard to get internet access, surely? --86.141.170.118 11:47, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

I'm actually rather busy with most of my other time. I just want to get unblocked; I've got a couple of contributions that have been brewing in my head, and I'd like to get them down on the screen. The only reason I'm here is because a user called Famine continually blocks me. After four months of continually being accused of trolling by him with no way for me to respond, I'm starting to think he's holding a grudge against me. Please, help; it's the holidays. If you act now, this could be an early Christmas present. George "Skrooball" Reeves 20:34, 20 December 2006 (UTC)

Once again, I apologise if this isn't the right place to do such a thing, but it would be good if you admins take a look into this problem. -- 165.21.154.11 12:52, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

I've already raised it with the blocking admin here if you wish to make any further pleading I fuggest you go there,although this is his fourth offencse so you had better make it good.--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 13:31, 21 December 2006 (UTC)

Master Pain has this to say on Wikipedia:

How? I can't do any more edits -- to any pages. George "Skrooball" Reeves 02:22, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

-- 165.21.154.12 07:51, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

One more thing. Master Pain has been blocked; he cannot plead on Famine's talk page because he is blocked, and I can't do the job for him because Famine's talk page is semi-protected. -- 165.21.154.16 07:55, 22 December 2006 (UTC)

Asian male handicap

Hi. I have noted that everything on this article is racist. Editing it won't do much as the title is racist as well. Can someone put this on the VFD? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by The Anonymous (talk • contribs)

I don't see what's stopping you, but the thing is that I doubt it'll go through VFD. An important thing to note is that sooner or later, you will find something on this site that offends you. (I think it's like rule #3.14159 or somethin'.) —Hinoa KUN (talk) 18:40, 9 December 2006 (UTC)

Hey YOU!!

Will admins please see the Russian reversal quote in the article All Your Base Are Belong To Us? It is supposed to be "In Soviet Russia, all our base are belong to YOU!!", with the last two punctuation marks being italicized exclamation marks as shown here or otherwise, if the text is italicized.
Alternatively, you could un-protect the page and let us anonymous users do the job for you. Is this an Uncyclopedia that anyone can edit, or is it an Uncyclopedia that any administrator can edit? -- 165.21.154.108 06:48, 5 December 2006 (UTC)

I fixed it. Oh, and that page is only protected from new users. Register an account, and 3 magical days later you'll be able to edit it. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 11:34, 5 Dec 2006

No wonder there was that exploding bomb template at the top. Thanks for the clarification, and I am one step closer to being an Uncyclopedian. -- 165.21.154.113 05:36, 6 December 2006 (UTC)

A complaint

Hi there. I would like to make a complaint. Thanks. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 02:30, 21 Nov 2006

Your complaint has been noted, and the brainwashing squad will be on the way shortly. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 06:49, 21 November 2006 (UTC)

Anti-Icelandic sentiment

What happened to it? Is the Icelandic propaganda brigade patrolling Uncyclopedia or did it get consumed by the forest fire? Perhaps it wasn't quickly funny, but at least it was way better than this article for example. Oh, and it it was deleted, you also might want to delete Anti-Icelandism, which redirected to the article. Don José 00:12, 19 November 2006 (UTC)

I've restored it to your userspace for you to work on. —rc (t) 00:28, 19 November 2006 (UTC)

Napoleon Bonaparte

Um, yeah. I hate to sound like a whiny jerk (even though I am), but for some reason, the so-called featured version of this article that's retrieved when you click the date in the box at the bottom contains a pointless quote about the first image (and not Napoleon) at the top and a really lame joke about the LA Clippers in the middle. I wouldn't complain, except I know that they weren't in the version that was actually featured. Don't know if you can do anything about it, but in any case, complaining makes me feel better. --Kwakerjak 23:24, 6 November 2006 (UTC)

Just change the featured link bit to point to the right version then. Oh, and duck your head quick, before famine bans you for complaining. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 09:26, 7 November 2006 (UTC)

I'm scratching my head about why this user would A) complain about something that they could fix, and B) complain here a only a little way below the notice which states that they will probably get banned for some random amount of time for complaining. I really think I'll have to get around to writing my article on Rectalcraniitis. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 11/7 23:00

Careers

What's wrong? I'll tell you what's wrong: what's wrong is I'M NOT AN ADMINISTRATOR!!! How do I become one? C'mon, I gotta know!

Becoming a sysop is a long and involved process. It involves three monkeys, half a gallon of hydrogen chloride, the blood of three seperate virgins, and a rare gem known as the "Seed of Evil." I'd tell you the process, but I was unconcious during half.

Seriously, though, if you have a knack for detecting crap and reverting vandalism, you're halfway there. Being helpful also helps. Asking to become an admin, though, isn't going to help your case anytime soon. — Major Sir Hinoa (Plead) (KUN) 21:22, 7 August 2006 (UTC)

It's true, asking doesn't help at all. Like, I used to always hang out in the IRC with this other dude, who kept begging to be sysopped, and eventually, they gave in and said, "Fine!" and sysopped me instead. It's a crazy world, yo.--<<>> 00:30, 8 August 2006 (UTC)

The application process is three hundred and fifty pages long, then you have to mow BENSON's lawn for a month. Then, if you can survive the killer bee swarm, you have to find the Secret Item of Secretness. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:09, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

This is how I became admin:

ME: Hey, rc, can I be an admin?

RCMURPHY: Ok.

SAVETHEMOOSES has become an administrator -- » Sir Savethemooses Grand Commanding Officer ... holla atcha boy» 03:17, 31 October 2006 (UTC)

Damn, you're lucky... --AAA! (AAAA) 11:10, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

To be an admin takes a long time and you'll get a bad reputation once you become one. Really all you have to do is write 100 featured articles, revert vandalism, be nice to n00bs, be nice to the already existing admins, write another 100 featured articles, revert vandalism, revert vandalism(again), crorect tpyos, discuss and finally the admins might take a little bit of their time to nominate you and set up a discussion and there still might be people against you(the vandals?). OK, seriously speaking, all you have to do is act like one and contribute often. Plus you also have to be able to face humiliations and weird confrontations. How do I know all this? I have an account on Wikipedia!--Faizaguo 16:50, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Esteban

I started working on the Esteban article...because, well, it blew. But i'm beginning to think the guy who started it didn't exactly have any direction. I'm working on at least fleshing it out into something that is grammatically correct and a little less numbing. We'll see how that works. Any ideas? Bobby Budnick 19:55, 15 June 2006 (UTC)

Try adding it to Uncyclopedia:Pee Review? —Sir Major Hinoa [TALK] [KUN] 02:29, 16 June 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, Hinoa4. Yeah...I'm still a n00b, but I feel like I keep getting myself into articles that don't have much reason to be written in the first place. I wanna start a Mario Lopez article, but can't find the resource or time to do it. I'm ranting. Thanks. Bobby Budnick 03:42, 16 June 2006 (UTC)

Gae Tae Buggery

A mate of mine wrote a perfectly good version of "Gae Tae Buggery" to fulfil a link in another article about national anthems. The item was deleted and now she is banned from editing it again.

It's probably been deleted by some sasanach who thought it was a personal attack, or perhaps someone who was invited to a "tea party" under false pretenses and now NEVER drinks tea and doesn't like it in the house. Seán 18:30, 25 May 2006 (UTC)

Gae Tae Buggery has never been deleted, as it has never been created. Get Tae Buggery, however, had been deleted, and I'm assuming that's what you're attempting to refer to. I've reviewed the article, and while it's a little sparse it doesn't merit instant deletion, so I've restored it with a note to spruce it up a bit.

Also, I've looked over the history, and no one who has edited that page has ever been banned. If your friend is still having problems, please let me know. --Algorithm 02:00, 26 May 2006 (UTC)

Also also note that Gae Tae Buggery. - with a period at the end - has been created and deleted. The person who created it was blocked for 24 days in August last year for blanking a completely different article, and said user has edited as recently as May 3. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 02:09, 26 May 2006 (UTC)

Tom Cruise

After recently editing the Tom Cruise article & tried to save, I got a "someone is already editing this article" thingie. I did the best I could and saved to try to incorporate both edits - you know, togetherness and all... It then looked like an IP address then reverted the article, with a note "YOU DARE DEFY TEH CAPTAIN, CLOWNMAN!?)". The Tom Cruise article is one example where parts of the article are being deleted by IP addresses (some reverse resolving to California!).

I'd like to request that the Tom Cruise article be placed on a "members only" status for edits. Thanks, and Cookies for all! --Jester 04:27, 15 May 2006 (UTC)

Seconded. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:10, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

Search

AAAAAAA! The Search is broken! Does anybody know this?!?? How ever shall I find someone to bear with until it's fixed? :-( --DWIII OUN CUN 05:01, 14 May 2006 (UTC)

What gives with deletions?

Over the past two days I've had new articles deleted by User:Flammable and believe that it is a little drastic to simply huff a new article without any warning nor explanation.

The latest deletion of Huffing the Snake brought a notation that it was a one liner and failed QA. What is QA? (It isn't even defined or listed in the database) And this article was certainly more than a single line.

I tend to agree with this template which resided on Flammable's page.

How is it that Flammable gets to decide for all the users and readers what is funny or not? Isn't there at least a time period or a vote for deletion process?

--Jax-arrgh 16:40, 12 May 2006 (UTC)

Flammable is a bit quick on the trigger finger sometimes. I personally would have NRV'd that article (meaning that you have 7 days to fix it up before the grue eats it). It wasn't that funny, though. By the way, crap along the lines of "u suk dikc lololooolololololololo;l" or similar retardation is insta-huff, as are articles that suck and are four lines or less (this isn't absolute; it's just my guideline) and crappy vanity articles. It's up to admin discretion, usually. Also, I have no idea what QA is, either. —Hinoa KUN (talk) 18:43, 12 May 2006 (UTC)

QA = Quality Assurance. Also known as Quality Control. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 18:55, 12 May 2006 (UTC)

That explains Hinoa's "FIRE IN THE HOLE!" in his deletion summaries... --AAA! (AAAA) 11:13, 8 January 2007 (UTC)

Yeah, that was proably more of an NRV sort of situation. I have restored the page and moved it to your user space. (User:Jax-arrgh/Huffing the Snake) It needs some work before it is ready for prime time (i.e. the main namespace). ---Rev. Isra (talk) 23:16, 12 May 2006 (UTC)

Thanks, gang for giving me a bit of an idea of what's happening here and for restoring the article to a private space where I can go and play with myself. I'm not sure yet whether or not I want to make this page funny ... I'm almost certain you guys would only laugh at it. --Jax-arrgh 15:45, 13 May 2006 (UTC)

I Have A Problem With A User Preventing Me and Anyone Else From Editing Neon Genesis Evangelion

Here is the deal. A week or so ago, I had edited the article called Neon Genesis Evagelion, and added some funny and weird stuff. I even changed one item because breaking a puppy's neck is cruel. I come back a week or so later, and found it changed back the way it was, before I changed and added to it. I think I know who the user is and they are being unfair. They are trying to claim it was vandelism, but editing and adding things is not vandelism.

Articles are allowed to be edited and have things added, am I right? Can something be done about this user? If this isn't the right place for this complaint, please feel free to move it.

Well, I had a look at a bit of the article history, and to be honest, I kind of agree with So So... Your edits weren't that great. They might also have broken with the general flow of the article (I'm not sure, as I didn't read it all). It appears that So So has adopted the article and watches over its well-being. Though it may seem a bit unfair to you, I grant him the privilege of editing the article as he sees fit. I wouldn't call your contributions "vandalism", mind... So no need to worry about getting banned. Well... Unless you take into account that you actually complained about something, which (as you can read above) is a bannable offence. ;) --⇔ Sir Mon€¥$ign^STFU F@H|CM|+S 11:36, 30 April 2006 (UTC)

Ohhh! Ohhh!! Me!! ME!!! I can I ban him for complaining? I wanna BAN him!!! PLEASE!?!?! Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 15:04, 30 April 2006 (UTC)

Really noob question

Alright, I went to the article Redheads, and finding that the "original" content was painfully lame, I removed some of it. Then, I wrote a whole bunch of my own stuff and added it. An admin got mad about this, and re-inserted the content that I had removed, not without calling my an Asswad. However, with all the stuff that I wrote, the entire gist of the article had changed. The material that the admin re-inserted (which, in my opinion, is still painfully lame) is now completely irrelevant to the rest of the article, and therefore, even more lame. I really think it needs to go. Or someone should take the time to ingratiate the article into one, consistent piece. Should I bring it up with the admin? If so,....how do you find their talk page?

Thanks. --McAtee08 16:07, 2 April 2006 (UTC)

Responded at your talk page. --KATIE!! 20:02, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

Really comment about Newspeak

It's about your "Crimethink" box. Your translation back from Newspeak to Oldspeak isn't correct - "Minitrue" and "Miniluv" are Newspeak words, so the translation should read:

"The contents of this article have been determined by the Ministry of Truth to be of a highly criminal and fallacious nature, and the Ministry of Love is working to ameliorate any harm done by the falsehoods below.

I was surprised to find it's the English you had trouble with, not the Newspeak. =D

English is a dirty whore and borrowed those words. Soon Newspeak will be ourspeak, and none will know the difference. --KATIE!! 20:04, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

Rewrite needed for Gundam?

So what do we do if an article we think is fine is flagged for a rewrite -- and no one does rewrite it? At what point can I just unflag it? (Pretty sure some IP address tagged it, not even someone with an account, and with no explanation as to what they think was lacking).

And specifically, of course, if anyone actually knows their "Mobile Suit Gundam" and can look at that page... aside from a couple bits, is it really deserving of a rewrite? --Iritscen 15:35, 7 March 2006 (UTC)

If you still care, the rewrite tag has been replaced with a few maintenance tags. If you love it, save it from the beast by wikifying it. --KATIE!! 20:05, 28 April 2006 (UTC)

Flowbiscuit

so i'm an uber noob and had my page deleted. it wasn't making headlines, but it certainly wasn't hurting anyone either. it was Flowbiscuit. i'd link to it. bu ' deleted. so moose dood, what's up?

~flow

It was put on the VFD page and people decided it should be deleted. Your name is Flowbiscuit, and the article was about yourself which qualifies as a vanity page. Your personal page is User:Flowbiscuit, if you would like the contents of the deleted page to put on your personal page, i'll put it on your talk page and you can do as you wish, however actual articles shouldnt be created about yourself. Dont be discouraged though, most noobs would bitch and blank pages instead of filing a complaint if this happened to them, so I wouldn't worry :) --Maj Sir Insertwackynamehere CUN VFH VFP Bur. CMInsertwackynamehere | Talk | Rate 19:44, 26 January 2006 (UTC)

Eh, don't bother explaining it - I just banned him for complaining. I don't understand why people keep complaining here - is there a sign which says "bitch and whine" on this page or something? How the hell do people get the idea that they can complain about stuff? Are we ing EMO or something now? Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 01:39, 27 January 2006 (UTC)

Think of this place as a honeytrap for the biatchers. --User:IMBJR/sig 12:53, 27 January 2006 (UTC)

Sirs and Madames, I wish to file a complaint

I find the Tourette's Syndrome article offensive! But not really. Heh, I bet you thought you were going to have to ban me for a minute there, am I right? Huh? HUH?

My complaint be about the quality of articles on Uncyclopedia. Uncyclopedia is meant to be a parody site. Then a satire site. Then a website. However, most of the website is just Random Humour, which is crap (with the exception of the I burning your dog article). I think unfue exe exe exe exe exe exe exe exces, and then a huff. I mean, how is Kakun not permabanned?

Also, on a side note, could one of the admins make MediaWiki:Tagline a little longer to contain something like "From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia" to parody Wikipedia, or at least to make it a bit more funny. --officer designate Lugiatm MUN NS CM ZM WH 19:59, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I am so on your side on this one but I can never seem to get anyone else to agree with me. I wish we could kill 90% of the random crap. --Sir gwax (talk) 23:16, 15 Jan 2006 (UTC)

I too agree. But scientific measurements of funniness demonstrate that funny exists only inside the peculiar (often deformed and depraved) craniums of individuals and is therefore scientifically unmeasurable. It appears that many who Administer Whuppings to Bad Articles tend to think that someone might find an inhoherent, random article funny and therefore it should not be circumcised at neck level.

All that said, I think the quality is gradually improving.----OEJ 17:27, 17 Jan 2006 (UTC)

Im with OEJ, as more people become aware of the site, more people will get rid of random crap (due to higher voter turnout at such places as VFD) and eventually people will create stuff that is acctually funny (by your definitions), however sometimes random is funny. --Brigadier General Sir Zombiebaron 01:50, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

The problem seems to be the quantity of crap posted every day (several hundred articles some days), the majority of which is complete and utter tripe. Most of the short articles get filtered out, but the longer articles, which are just as un-funny still remain. --Hpesoj 23:35, 20 January 2006 (UTC)

I agree. I know that different poeple have different sense of humour yeah but 80% of all articles on Uncyc are just complete nonsenses and cr*ps. They are random, the parts don't fit together and make sense and they just don't make people laugh. They are more like a sort of "Ok, Ok, random made-up facts-where's the ramdom article link gone?". I've got some work to do.--Faizaguo 17:01, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Cow tipping

I made an effort to improve the article on cow tipping, and I don't think it should have been deleted. In the future, I guess I should be sure to delete any of those blurbs that are on the page about needing rewrites/the future of the page being in peril? --Overlordzoloft 03:29, 4 Dec 2005 (UTC)

While Cow tipping was worthless to start with, your edits didn't help it much. It was still very, very deletable. Unfunny, too short, no pictures, and unfunny. Did I mention it wasn't funny? If you rewrite it, and make it a solid, multiple paragraph article, with pictures, plot, and humor, then scrap the rewrite sign. Not that that will save it if it still stucks, but for athstetic reasons. However you spell that. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 22:11, 4 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Fair enough. Thanks for the reply. --Overlordzoloft 00:21, 5 Dec 2005 (UTC)

That would be "aesthetic". --muffinmanpoo 02:21, 8 February 2006 (UTC)

My Keys

Where the did they go? Which one of you stole them? This is getting ing silly... You guys steal the at least twice a week and I am sick of it. Stop stealing my ing keys. --Dave 21:39, 23 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Lame excuse for not being here. =) -- T. (talk) 21:42, 23 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Um, are you sure you didn't lock them in template:cars again? --Carlb 01:46, 23 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Brazil

This page has too many jokes about the language. If one doesn't understands Portuguese they're not funny at all. Acid Ammo 16:07, 18 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Please raise this issue here: VFD --User:IMBJR/sig 16:13, 18 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Actually, I thought about that, but since the rest of the article is good, I don't think it should be deleted. Acid Ammo 16:26, 18 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Be Italic and/or bring up on Talk:Brazil--The Right Honourable Maj Sir Elvis UmP KUN FIC MDA VFH Bur. CM and bars UGM F@H (Petition) 17:12, 18 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Mighty

Dear tard:
Where did my Marvin Gay page go? It should have been filed for QVfD. --Borbetomagus 16:00, 9 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Please provide a link to where it should have been so I can look at the deleted history. By-the-way, it's Sir tard to you. --User:IMBJR/sig 16:45, 9 Nov 2005 (UTC)

I Think You Ought to Know I'm Feeling Very Depressed

Dear Sir: I wish to complain about the fact that my rate of article production has dropped precipitously in the past 3 months. I have been quite discouraged lately by the thousands of incomprehensible and arcane one-to-ten-liner unUncyclopedian submits that have vastly outnumbered my meagre and pathetic attempts at humor &/or humour consisting of fairly lengthy pieces which are jam-packed with content-free content. Permission to shoot the n00bs, sir? --DWIII 03:36, 2 Oct 2005 (UTC) CUN

Mine too, but stiff upper lip and all that. Now I have an admin stick, I can do non-creative things here to help. Perhaps you should nominate yourself for adminship at the Village Dump? --User:IMBJR/sig 10:03, 2 Oct 2005 (UTC)

No more complaints

I hate complaints. I say we ban anyone who makes a complaint. --Savethemooses 22:57, 26 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Think of this page as a trap. If they raise their heads, we got 'em. --User:IMBJR/sig 23:12, 26 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Indeed. Hey, how did you make that Hellfire Admin thingy? --Savethemooses 21:25, 27 Aug 2005 (UTC)

It's simply a template (User:IMBJR/sig) which is referenced by my user preferences. Instead of using the standard sig, I set it for raw text and with that option you can pretty much use any Wiki code you like. I've experimented with using images in it too. --User:IMBJR/sig 10:05, 28 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Are YOU not making a complaint?--Faizaguo 17:06, 11 June 2008 (UTC)

Main Page

My Main page is turnking kinda red and getting swollen with little funny bumps that turn yellow. I've tried punching it, and scratching it, and yelling at it, but it doens't help. Should I blank a bunch of pages to try and fix it?--Flammable CUN 21:30, 11 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Suck on it. No that. --IMBJR 22:01, 11 Aug 2005 (UTC)

That's really weird. My rash is turning into an Uncyclopedia page. --Marcos_Malo S7fc BOotS | Talk 22:53, 13 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Damn it Marcos, can't you read? It says explicitly at the top of the page not to complain about your rash. Now do you have something relevant to contribute, or are you just wasting our time and disrespecting Flammable with your antics? --Spintherism 03:30, 14 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Yelp, what happened to the 'Do you care...'-section on the main page?? Yiks, hope this hasn't got anything to do with my addition to the 'Bad days to be born on'-page. 84.230.253.72 14:46, 8 March 2006 (UTC)

I think the two sections (Did You Know and Did You Care) have been combined under the Did You Know title. --—rc (t) 15:10, 8 March 2006 (UTC)

I think that the "random page" button should always go to the same page. I reccomend david hasselhoff.

I fully support trying this idea out for a day or two to see just how loudly people scream, and for the sheer amusement I could have replying "works for me" to the various "OMG random doesnt work somone fix it pls!!!" posts. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 20:21, 11 May 2006 (UTC)

The uncyclopedia page

I still do not understand why the uncyclopedia page is a redirect page. I propose that the uncyclopedia page be made a real page that includes a section called "complaints". This page should be turned into a redirect page that sends people somewhere amusing like this. --JWSchmidt 23:21, 11 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Uncyclopedia:About now links here. --IMBJR 09:20, 12 Aug 2005 (UTC)

Template:CRLH

I swear to god, that ladder is cursed. Revenge of the bad wiki formatting! (Use IE to see it) --Nintendorulez 19:57, 2 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Eh? --User:IMBJR/sig 23:53, 2 Nov 2005 (UTC)

This Page

Im annoyed because youre aint doesnt have an apostrophe. I cant believe this hasnt been fixed.

I've got a taint, will that do? --User:IMBJR/sig 12:33, 3 Nov 2005 (UTC)

Why can't we all just get along and burn whatever's wrog with te page with a heated power ranger?

Woof Page

Why did you delete the 'Woof' article? It was the cutest article in the whole UnCyclopedia... =(

It got whacked because it was unoriginal, uninspired, and not very funny. While it might have been cute, we're not ing "cute-o-pedia, the encyclopedia for people to paste cute pictures into". I think you may be looking for this. If you really, really need to see woof, you can go here and gaze until your heart is content, because Rcmurphy is a softy and moved it to user-space. Sir Famine, Gun ♣ Petition » 22:25, 12 March 2006 (UTC)

Woof was an awesome article and I wish the elitist admins would acknowledge that. I especially lol'd at the 'Joe DiMaggio?' --User:Nintendorulez 15:14, 28 December 2006 (UTC)

General disclaimer not

Not general enough! Please generalize. Sj 03:17, 14 Dec 2005 (UTC)

You are welcome to suggest amendments at the Village Dump. --User:IMBJR/sig 17:36, 14 Dec 2005 (UTC)

Help!

Okay, so when I log in, not 10 seconds later, I'm logged out again. I've searched and searched to see if I was banned, but as far as I can tell, I wasn't and there's no reason I should be. Username: Filmcom. Help please?

This is the complaints department. Not technical support. Your message above will therefore be deleted in the very near future. If you'd like to post a complain , hould look something like this:

I don't know what the hell your problem is - I have a cookie manager on my computer which doesn't allow new cookies, yet when I visit your site which requires a cookie and don't allow it to be set, I get logged out after every page. I'm lodging a formal complaint with wikicities because of your snooty behavior. -- User:Filmcom/sig.

Now that's how you frame a proper complaint for this page. None of the "waaah I need help" crap like you posted above. If you're complaining, you need to do it right. ~Sir Famine, Vandal♣er 01:28, 11 April 2006 (UTC)

Complaint

Uncyclopedia isn't funny enough. Get it fixed, s, because Uncyclopedia's current state of being unfunny isn't very funny at all. I've seen funnier vandalism on Wikipedia!

If you don't like it, don't read it! Duuuuuuh. ~ Ghelæ ^talk_contribs 16:18, 1 June 2006 (UTC)

Nobody Cares. Crazyswordsman...With SAVINGS!!!! (T/C) 02:08, 5 October 2006 (UTC)

WTF!

I had put up an article about John Coffee and it was deleted. I can't understand why, since I wasn't given an explaination.

If you go to the red link and click the huffed link, you'll see who and why and can ask them (or just see the note at the top of the Main_Page). Uncyclopedia has far too many deletions for personal explanations. --Splaka 05:14, 16 July 2006 (UTC)

File:Drunk Homosexual Hanzek.jpg

While this may even be true, the material is libellous.

I do not see what the problem is, as that image does not exist. Also, does anybody edit this page anymore? Ж Kalir, Wandering Hippie Salesman 17:08, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Chiefly because nobody cares about this page, nobody edits it. --Nobody 16:45, 4 March 2008 (UTC)

Complaint

Capercorn hearby registers a complaint. So there it is. --Capercorn FLAME! what? UNATO OWS 02:46, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

Your complaint has been noted. A team has been dispatched to your home for legal purposes. Ж Kalir, Wandering Hippie Salesman 17:08, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Another Compalint

The grenade attached to my number will not explode! This is where I get my troop grenades! We're gonna have to use the C4 and the Claymore mines then... --Lt. High Gen. Grue The Few The Proud, The Marines 02:57, 12 July 2007 (UTC)

So that's you that's been stealing them all? You best run, boy, because I got a krybiard with your name on it! Ж Kalir, Wandering Hippie Salesman 17:08, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

I don't like non-truthful information.

Yeah, well Vincent Price doesn't either! And y'know what? HE'S DEAD! Strangled himself to death, he did! And then rose as a lich to bring fear and misery to the commoners! Or maybe that's Strom Thurmond. It's easy to get the two mixed up. Ж Kalir, Wandering Hippie Salesman 17:08, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

Complaint - Correct articles

People are actually posting true articles that contain no misinformation, which seems to be opposite to the spirit of UnNews. The page in questions is [[1]]. The posters in question are Hyperbole, Dr. Skullthumper and Dexter. "Experienced editor" be damned. My corrects may not be the best, but are certainly funnier than the truth. This isn't a personal blog, is it?

My diatribe

Still waters

I was about to create a forum on this but I didn't really want a public debate, so I thought I'd come in here instead, as nobody reads these.

One of the reasons I like working in Uncyclopedia is that it's open source to the n^th degree, which means that as soon as I put an article up on Uncyclopedia then somebody comes along and adds in the word "gay" 50 times and thinks it's funny. But the joy of this is I can just go straight back in there and revert it. And then do it again. And then do it again.

The point on all this though is that being as open source as it is anybody can come in here and do whatever the hell they want. We get a lot of opinion in here, but we get a lot of counter opinion, and as such it actually shows a form of free speech in action.

The same unfortunately can't be said for Still Waters and Chonarion. I have no issue with either of these blogs, except one. They are blogs. They're under the complete control of one individual. Okay, two, but you know what I mean.

I can understand keeping these around as an historical link for Uncyclopedia - it's human nature to wonder "Where did this all come from? Why are we here? I wonder what's for lunch?" But for these to be displayed on every single page seems to be a pure vanity thing, and considering we have an anti-vanity policy and an anti-spam policy, this seems to be a little... ummm... vain spammish.

Although I'd love to keep these around, can we limit them to the main page and a few other selectd places around? Pup t 23:56, 22/07/2009

This page

Why isn't there a + thingy at the top of the page next to the edit button? Pup t 23:56, 22/07/2009

I don't know. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:12, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Creating articles

Why does Beginner's_Guide/Creating_articles only give the options of the main space and undictionary. Undictionary seems to be a little passé now, and we have UnNews, UnTweet, UnNews audio, and a bunch of other UnThings that I can't think of right at the moment. Given that this is supposed to guide people into the bowels depths of Uncyclopedia, shouldn't we have a few more options in here? Pup t 23:56, 22/07/2009

Have you considered...oh, I don't know...adding them there? Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 00:42, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Yes, and I was on the verge of doing it myself, but, as you can see from above, I couldn't remember all of them. That, and as this is the intro for n00bs into Uncyclopedia I thought it better to be done by an admin or, failing that, by someone who has been here longer and has had to deal with n00bs along the way. Pup t 01:25, 23/07/2009

I'll do it later. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:26, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Thanks - did either of you manage to read the two other "complaints" I had above this one? Pup t 01:51, 23/07/2009

Well, I think I can add one of those whatchamacallits, but the Stillwaters and Chron issue is out of my hands. They are both A-holes. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 01:54, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

And I can't add the other namespaces to edit as the page is locked... Dammit. Oh well, I dealt with one problem. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 02:02, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

I did it. I does! Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 02:13, 23 July 2009 (UTC)

Naked people

Why are they in here? —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Fllour (talk • contribs)

You could at least have the decency to point out who these naked people are so that we can follow and photograph them. Jerk. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 22:28, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

I mean in general. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Fllour (talk • contribs)

Well, you see, the thing you have to remember is that Pizza Pops go right through you. Sir Modusoperandi ^Boinc! 04:22, May 2, 2010 (UTC)

Removal Request

Hey,

I'm trying to remove a piece of personally identifying information from an archive in order to stop it showing up in search engine results. This is purely for privacy reasons. The changes I am trying to make can be found this diff.

I have tried to make the changes twice, but the change is reverted by the user Lollipop. Could an admin please allow the changes to the page be made, or explain to me why the changes are being reverted.

Thanks

Hi. As you mentioned my name, it seems like i'll be the one to explain this to you. If something is private, and you don't want it shown in a search engine, there is a few things you can do. One thing is to add __NOINDEX__ to the page with the approval of admins. Other than that, please don't remove content from archives without permission. Cheers. -- PLEB SIR Lollipop (TALK) - updated on 16 October 2011, at 22:01

Thank you for explaining - I shall contact an admin :)