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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

June 7: Bus Stop Day

6001 BCE - Blueprints for a square wheel are rejected in favor of the triangular wheel.
6000 BCE - The circular wheel is invented.
5000 BCE - The wheel is reinvented. The saying "no need to reinvent the wheel" is coined.
215 BCE - Archimedes is arrested for indecent exposure.
8 CE - Portuguese scientists invent the first water-powered toaster.
1221 - Heinrich the magical unicorn becomes the first president of the North Pole.
1345 - Man invents the bus stop several hundred years before inventing the bus.
1555 - The bus is invented in Horsham, West Sussex.
1776 - The Carebear Cousins are born in an strange incident involving vinegar, a busted condom, and Bill Gates' mother. Care-a-Lot will never be the same.
1777 - The first water powered bus is brought into service in New Atlantis.
1783 - The Montgolfier Brothers have a really good wash. It was indeed an impressive sight.
1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after 91 years of marriage. Bus custody is split equitably with visitation rights granted.
1973 - Tony Jaa waits for a bus to the Coliseum so he can fight Bruce Lee.
2001 - Mary Poppins is brutally murdered outside Aldgate East tube station.

2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets satisfaction. His arrest at the back of a bus while doing so is later plea bargained down to a misdemeanor.
2017 - Self-driving buses start service and pass up people waiting at bus stops, just like in the days with drivers.

Archived Anniversaries

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