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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

May 21: Appreciation Day Appreciation Day (America)

1453 - Hundred Years' War finally ends. France win after a penalty shoot-out.
1587 - The Puritans sit down with the Native Americans and appreciate the hospitality. The Native Americans do not appreciate the smallpox.
1874 - Husbands in New York appreciate New York's one and only Your Husband's Penis Appreciation Day.
1905 - The Japanese fleet destroys the Russian fleet in the Battle of Tsushima. Japanese sailors appreciate the target practice and Russian sailors appreciate the floating debris on which to cling.
1937 - The first Volkswagen rolls off the assembly line. Germans appreciate how easy the cars are to push every time it rains and stalls out the engine.
1956 - Patrick Batemen beats his own record for number of prostitutes killed in one night (36).
1987 - German Mathias Rust flies his private plane unchallenged from Finland to Moscow's Red Square. He appreciates the sloppiness of Russia's air defenses for not shooting him down as well as the passable food in prison.
1991 - President George H.W. Bush declares May 21st Appreciation Day Appreciation Day, making it the first day of appreciation to appreciate itself.
2004 - Che Guevara rises from the dead only to see his image as the label of capitalist corporation. His brain catches on fire.
2011 - God doesn't rain Hell on Earth.