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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature Today's featured article – Star Trek Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. Gene Roddenberry (Star Trek's creator) hated the planet Earth after falling off his bike onto it, badly grazing a knee. "The only reason every damn television series is set on this damn planet is because of institutional racism — nothing more, nothing less," he commented. His words here spoken by an actor in a weak attempt to conceal inebriation at the hands of Klingon Mind Laager. "But it's ridiculous; there's billions of planets out there and only one of them is Earth. Unless of course you count parallel universes, which I do ... but that's just a hobby, and to be honest, I've lost count." Roddenberry also despised hats. No one in the Federation ever wears one, except while disguised on a backwards planet plagued by social ills and long-winded speeches. Not even when they're trapped on an ice planet and freezing to death do crewmen wear hats. This is because Roddenberry realized hats are the symbol both of corrupt monarchies and of organized religions. (more...) Recently featured: Windows XP Switzerland St. Pierre and Miquelon Archive Vote for featured articles Previously featured article – Windows XP Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters. It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support. (more...) You can vote because of article of your taste which should become the feature. More being best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Desktop of Google edit Designated commemoration day March 26: Fast Food Day (America), Health Awareness Day (everywhere else) 934 - Millions of peasant farmers wish that they, too, could die of a heart attack from overeating just like their king or emperor. 1633 - Monkeys invent and perform the Macarena. It would be many years before it would be set to music and gain popularity among drunks and old people. 1855 - Oscar Wilde is allowed to attend his mother's social gatherings, contemporarily called 'saloons', for the first time. They greatly influence some of his later life choices. 1969 - An early Unix version of Uncyclopedia is developed and tested, but eventually scrapped due to bugs in the software, mostly scorpions. 1901 - Chemists work on developing hydrogenated (trans) fats so that underfed individuals could bulk up. 1993 - Tarquin Middleton decides that life is worth living... barely. He wishes he could write half as well as that Oxcart Wilde fellow. 1997 - A Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice is ordered from Starbucks, destroying the South American economy. 1998 - Metal Gear Solid is released in North America, taking 'stealth video games' to new heights and 'going outside' to new lows. 2006 - With reports of death and obesity due to overconsumption of fatty foods, huge numbers of Americans add a salad to their double cheeseburgers with double fries and a double shake. 2007 - I saw another dog when I was in the car. I barked at him! It was the most exciting thing ever. Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of day pachinko Try in order to use that in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit News Obama photographed with aliens (pictured) Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Advice of necessity? Ask Cthulhu! Current events of UnNews news edit Did you knew... Ali sadaka ... that many diseases can be prevented by washing hands before eating, after eating, during eating, and another couple of times just in case? Do you worry... ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes? Read Many
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