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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Hear me, unbelievers!!!

January 28: World I Am the Voice of the Mysterions Day, Hi, I'm Ed Winchester Day (Austin, Texas only)

  • 1800 BCE - Brits invent the word 'reaulycing' from their caves. America is criticised for improving it and accused of warmongering.
  • 841 BCE - The gods of table tennis take on the the gods of cheesy snacks for domination of the universe and the right to lead bunnies in their quest for world domination.
  • 978 - Birds suddenly decide to migrate from east to west. Pigeon haters are delighted.
  • 1591 - Queen Elizabeth I's personal confessor Abbot Costello is confused by cricket, shouting, 'Who's on first?'.
  • 1873 - After writing the novels Little Women and Little Men, Louisa May Alcott writes The Incredible Shrinking Man and Ant Man Comics. no. 1, neither of which would be released until after her death.
  • 1932 - Without warning, the Voice of the Mysterions is heard on every radio channel in every country of the world. The voice is interrupted by the Voice of the Mysterians and a garbled argument ensues. This would later lead to radio talk shows using a seven-second delay.
  • 1975 - Happy Days Is Filmed in Front of a Live Studio Audience – did you know that? I didn't know that!
  • 1982 - Happy Days spinoff Joani Loves Chachi is filmed in front of a zombie audience with laugh track tape players in their laps to accommodate its shooting schedule.
  • 1996 - Slap bracelets are re-introduced into the world and you become cool for just one moment longer.
  • 2003 - The US military is censured for human rights violations for showing Pauly Shore and Adam Sandler movies to prisoners held at Abu Ghraib prison.
  • 2005 - As prophesied, Uncyclopedia reaches its 33rd article, triggering the end of the world.
  • 2008 - People get fed up after realising that January 28th is changed to 'International Realising Day'.
  • 2009 - Dr. Mario is executed after being convicted of misleading pharmacists on how to put pills in bottles.
  • 2013 - Scary Movie V is condemned as the work of the Devil. An insulted Satan denies even being remotely connected to the so-called movie and retaliates the next year by bringing out Divergent, Yet Another Godzilla Movie and The Expendables 3.

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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.