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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

Blueprint for the Matterhorn.JPG

Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Curse you Red Green! And duct tape, too!

January 24: Plain Text Day

  • 0 - The first plain text message was decoded.
  • 41 - Caligula killed for textstalking people on his Boost Mobile.
  • 833 - Monks produce beautiful illuminated manuscripts in painstaking detail. (pictured)
  • 1337 - Not celebrated this year because everything was done in Leet text.
  • 1338 - =|> ASCII art kills itself <|=
  • 1563 - John Pepys records his shorthand diary.
  • 1838 - Samuel Morse demonstrates the first plain text telegraph browser.
  • 1878 - The first typewriter is invented, powered by Intel Core i16, having 160 GB of RAM and 600 TB SSD storage.
  • 1879 - The WWW is invented for the said typewriter.
  • 1880 - World of Warcraft, a text based MMORPG becomes the most played online game on the typewriter.
  • 1838 - Courier New pwns Times Roman.
  • 1995 - The OJ Simpson jury delivers a verdict in plain text.
  • 2006 - Snakes on a Plain Text Day.
  • 2007 - I fucking hate plain bagels!
  • 2008 - Slavo-Indo-Chinese Buddhist mujahadeen take over the entire Eastern Hemisphere and wage continental wars against the peoples of Antarctica.
  • 2012 - The final half of the Bible is proven to be written in plain text. It clearly shows, through the application of logic, that God was in fact a three-headed football.

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Ali sadaka
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Do you worry...[edit]

  • ... that Yashasvi Jaiswal sold panipuri whilst living in a tent before he became the youngest List A double centurion in both cricket and snack food sales?


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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.