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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Go on, treat yourself. Have a real good snort.

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June 24: Magic Marker Sniffing Day (Hebrides)

1146 - Under General Akbar, the Sardinian Empire victoriously raids Argentina causing enormous fishy destruction.
1374 - A sudden outbreak of Disco Fever causes people in the streets of Totentanz, Germany, to experience groovy hallucinations and begin to boogie and twitch uncontrollably until they all fall down.
1664 - Hell starts to get full. New Jersey is founded.
1733 - St. John's Harbour, the capital of the Sovereign Dominion of Newfoundland, is founded and named for the patron saint of ambulances.
1740 - Dominion of Newfoundland first wave invasion fails because Saint John, New Brunswick smells too bad.
1902 - Pablo Picasso opens the first exhibition of his work. His artwork is found to be so offensive to artistic standards that he is given loads of money, declared the greatest living artist, and told to make more.
1912 - Québec takes the day off in celebration, not realising that the Newfies have five hundred septic tanks and, when they learn to drive them, will be invading.
1936 - Al Gore invents evolution.
1946 - Superboy discovers "strange hairs growing down... y'know"; officially becomes Superman.
1957 - U.S. Supreme Court rules that free speech doesn't protect porn and expletives. South Park is cancelled overnight, while strangely, Playboy becomes more popular than ever.
2010 - The Ant People push the world's reset button.
2015 - Magic Marker Sniffing Day outlawed in the United States except South Carolina, due to the discovery that manufacturers have been including cocaine in special packs of pens.