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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature


Today's featured article – Windows XP

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Windows XP, aka NT 5.1.2600, Windows XD or Windows :P is a detestable operating system. It remains Microsoft's "best" system to date, being far superior to subsequent products according to most late adopters.[1] It had an innovative graphical user interface compared to the bloatware known as MS-DOS, while taking up only 40 gigs of disk space. Its file system interacted fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and Linux, and it featured enhanced mouse support, although still lacking rat support.

If you caught a BSOD, you need to insert a quarter to continue. (In Britain, a pound coin will work, if you push hard.)

Production of XP began in 1998 and was completed in 2000. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and overall, an unmitigated pile of blue (or green) screens of death. (more...)

Previously featured article – Switzerland

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Switzerland is a mountainous region created in the early 13th century in order to contain gold and produce chocolate bars. From this point on, the insatiable Swiss desire for idyll building (idyllification) led to the creation of a nation remarkable for its efficient transport networks, orderly villages and synchronised repetitive yodelling. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

Thanks for noticing, now go get dried off

March 9: It's Raining All Over the World Day, even though it isn't

  • 40,000 BCE - God sends rain on the just and on the unjust, creating a very wet Captain Obvious in the process.
  • 6565 BCE - Noah just begins to wash his chariot when he starts to feel drops of rain.
  • 506 BCE - Pythagoras invents the mud pie.
  • 375 BCE - Aristotle discovers that when it rains, one gets wet standing outside. Paddington Bear explains to him how to stay dry but only gets into a lifelong feud with Aristotle.
  • 21 CE - The collapsible umbrella is invented. Ironically, thousands would drown waiting in line to buy one during a terrible storm.
  • 1042 - Mott and bailey castles fall out of favor when Mott and Bailey go their separate ways.
  • 1346 - The English defeat the French at the Battle of Crécy, when French knights stand for hours in falling rain and rust to death.
  • 1679 - Isaac Newton invents gravity for apples.
  • 1891 - Nikola Tesla and Thomas Edison fight over AC/DC, B&D and AT&T.
  • 1934 - Scotland has its first rainless day in ages. Nessie surfaces to see what's wrong and gets her picture taken.
  • 1940 - 9-year-old future Watergate burglar Gordon Liddy stands on a roof during a severe storm to cure his fear of thunder and lightning. The resulting pneumonia would shrink his brain to the size of a walnut, making him perfect for a job in law enforcement and later, radio.
  • 1965 - Prince Rainier of Monaco goes to Mt. Rainier to see which one is.
  • 2017 - Pres. Donald Trump is rescued by Secret Service agents when he stands outside the White House looking up with his mouth open during a heavy rainstorm.

Archived Anniversaries

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Did you knew...

Ali sadaka
  • ... the 400m (1300 ft.) Wichnor Viaduct was built to carry the materials needed for its own construction?


Do you worry...[edit]

  • ... Time travel from the US now requires screening by TSA agents?
    • ... but that you can just skip forward in time and avoid it?


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  1. Windows XP remains the overwhelming favorite of late adopters so hidebound as to also refuse to adopt the term "African American," though it seems we're onto something else now.