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The Article Which Makes the Present Feature

Today's featured article – Arthur Currie

General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image.

Currie was born on December 5, 1875 in the tiny hamlet of Napperton, Ontario. Currie's last name was originally Curry, but, once he got out of "nappers" in 1897, he changed the spelling to avoid being mistaken for either his rival Arthur Curry (the reader knows him as Aquaman) or the popular Indian dish of the same name.

Currie had planned to pursue law or medicine but the convenient death of his father when Currie was 15 made this financially moronic. Currie then pursued teaching; joining the Canada Militia in 1897 was merely a part-time side-hustle. When the poor wages gained from the painful job of educating the devilish spawn of Canada became apparent, Currie stoped dilly-dallying and gave into his destiny as a full-time military man. (more...)

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Previously featured article – Star Trek

Star Trek was a government-mandated Pavlovian conditioning method to keep left-wing radicals and other kooks locked in their homes, staring at an electron gun with glass in front of it. (more...)

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Designated commemoration day

June 3: Rhymes With Turd Day

1692 - Poland is reversed.
1881 - Sweary Mary utters the word cunt for the first time.
1958 - The Rivingtons hit the Top 40 with The Turd Is the Word.
1967 - First instance of the phrase "June the Third" being rhymed with "turd". What took us so long?
1971 - First invasion of the Kurds.
1977 - Melvin Rogers becomes first person to be arrested for DUI. How'd they know? His speech was slurred.
1980 - First all-nude production of Richard the Third.
1982 - In Wercestershire, Uruguay, is born William Hurd.
1985 - On Top of the Pops, The Herndy-Gurds perform Little Bird.
1990 - First version of Revenge of the Nerds.
1998 - Rhymes With Turd Day is officially abolished, putting an end to the absurd.
1999 - Some clever ponce works out that Damien Hurst's last name has an internal rhyme with turd. He is lynched for being a smart-arse.
2006 - Man realizes every word rhymes with turd.
2007 - Last man standing finally sits down. Word!
2008 - French man asplodes after talking like Sylvester Stallone for twenty-three hours. The last thing he said was «Murde!».