Mercedes Benz
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Mercedes Benz is a German manufacturer of vehicles, known for increasing the number of class divisions in Karl Marx's The Communist Manifesto. Showcasing German efficiency as its finest, Adolf Hitler worked on several Mercedes Benz vehicles during the last few days of his life, making profound contributions second to none of those by Daimler and Benz.
History[edit]
Mercedes-Benz traces its origins to Karl Benz's creation of the first petrol-powered wheelchair during Germany's Nazi period. As time passed though, these vehicles were used more by able men rather than disabled people, until Hitler enforced a law which gave priority for able-bodied people over the movement impaired. At the height of World War II, all Mercedes-Benz vehicles became designed solely for use in the army, with added protection in the form of bulletproof windshields, superseding the feebler Volkswagen Beetles. Furthermore, the length of vehicle designs has been increasing ever since, with the current rate no less than 1 metre per year.
Logo[edit]
The Mercedes-Benz logo is a reflection of the changes made to German roads due to the increasing length of their vehicles; during the 80's intersections were painstakingly modified to being 3-way at 120° to allow limousines to turn properly. It has been projected that by 2050, intersections need to be further modified to being 2-way, significantly increasing the regret per capita among German construction workers who ignored calls of the general public to keep roads at right angles.
Product Range[edit]
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Models:
- A-Class – Hatchback (was a branded Smart yet they own Smart, now looks awesome)
- B-Class – Multi Purpose Vehicle (MPV)(Family Car)
- C-Class – Saloon, Estate & Coupé (Small, awesome, owned by people in 20's
- CLA-Class – 4 Door Coupé (If A class grew a penis)
- CLS-Class – 4 Door Coupé (Fairly rich mans car)
- E-Class – Saloon, Estate, Coupé and Cabriolet (Not as rich mans car)
- G-Class – Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV) (German Land Rover, Hitler approved)
- GL-Class – Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV) (Overpriced Land Cruiser with a better logo)
- GLA-Class – Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV) (another asthetic difference)
- GLC-Class – Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV) (If C Class was buffed up)
- M-Class – Sports Utility Vehicle (SUV)(Tendency to be owned by Gypsies or Gold diggers)
- V-Class – Multi Purpose Vehicle (MPV) (Ugly MVP for rich families)
- S-Class – Luxury Sedan. (Rich mans car)
- SL-Class – Roadster (Nice ride, owned by rich people who trade luxury for speed and can't afford a AmgGt)
- SLC-Class – Roadster (hairdresser Roadster due to it being smaller)
- AMG GT AMG – Coupé and Roadster(underwhelming power for price)
