Reverse parking championship
Held once every three quantum time continuums in the distant Middle Eastern corner of the octane quadrant on the rooftop parking of whichever shopping mall has the highest gross profit from its car park exit booths.
Rules[edit]
Each universe nominates a professional reverse parker to travel to the octane quadrant with their preferred manufacturer vehicle. The period of choosing a manufacture is a murderous age of barbarism and treachery that few survive, and the results are dependent on the global politics at the time of choosing. It has become tradition in the many weeks that the competition has been running that each team goes to "Farmer Frank and his wife Shirley's infamous Tokyo town Chinese takeaway" that specialises in the famous Indian Cuisine from Nowrway for a battered Marsbar and side portion of Pickled eggs. some of the many infamous customers that have visited the take away include:- the legendary basketballer Bob Dylan who wrote the soundtrack to many of the 1850's Silent movies and collaberated with Metallica on their 'one man and his dog' series.
Not only must the reverse parking team choose a manufacturer that is politically acceptable to their region's populace, the reverse parking team also must consider the driving conditions of the highest grossing car park of the past three quantum time continuums, which can change seasonally. They must also have a team dedicated to forecasting when the third quantum time continuum will occur, while factoring in seasonal earning for each shopping centers car park gross earnings. Due to the unpredictable nature of quantum time continuums and the fact that the manufacturer must be chosen before the first quantum time continuum the choice of manufacturer can have a huge global, political, and competitive impact.
Once each region's team has arrived at the octane quadrant, they are notified of which car park will be the location for the Reverse Parking Championship. The teams that have successfully predicted the location of the competition give their thanks to the car park gods at this time, and those that have not chosen correctly often feel their encroaching doom, as it is highly possible it will not be compatible with the architecture of the location. Last minute adjustments will need to be made so that their misfit vehicle will suit the car park's terrain platform.
The first competition is between the manufacturer regions. Manufacturer types are pitted against themselves until only the one team is left for each manufacturer region. At this point, a best of 7 series is played. In this format, the region with the best win/ loss record will first compete with that of the worst win/loss record. After this, whichever team does not win at least four of seven reverse parks will be eliminated to the anti-dark side. The other two teams left over will contend against each other with a similar result for the loser of the two.
In the event there is an Arab region car that has also made it the grand finals they must always be playing against and Australian/American tag team, and thus Japan and the EU must battle each other. If the Arab region loses then whoever has the best record out of Australia and America will verse the winner between Japan and the EU the winner from these will then verse whoever had the worst record out of Australia and America.
Each locality's local reverse parking organization uses the local rules and competition format to decide which reverse parker should be nominated to enter the championships.
Manufacturer Divisions[edit]
- Japanese (Formerly of unnamed alien species)
- American (Formerly Indian)
- Australian (Formerly Aboriginal)
- European Union (Formerly USSR)
- Arab Formerly Aboriginal Manufactured (banned in 2003 see Arab vehicles below for exceptions)
Arab Vehicles[edit]
The Arab manufactured vehicles are no longer permitted to enter the competition due to their use as vehicles for jihad this practice became common place after thecapitalist invasion of Iraq when many of the vehicles that where still intact after the initial invasion where used against the invaders as suicide car bombs (see suicide bombings)
There are some instances where Arab manufactured vehicles are allowed to enter the competition so long as the reverse parker or any member of his support or management team can meet the following criterion
- Does not hold Muslim faith
- Has never visited Afghanistan, Palestine, Iraq, Pakistan or any other countries where the United States has sanctioned trade embargoes on for any other reason than to spread the capitalist ideals and kill towel heads
- Has never worn a towel on ones head.
- Does not have dark skin.
- Does not have dark eyes and black hair with fast growing facial hair and copious amount of hair on the back.
People paying close attention may notice this has been taken from a post 9/11 revision of a standard issue USA immigration officer hand book.
