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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42? ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything? ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements? ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42? ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything? ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements? ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42? ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything? ...That the secret of a superb sandwich is ample wrist movements?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Trump renames Christmas (pictured) Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire Elon Musk prepares for world government On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... December 19: You Want Some of THIS! Day (Detroit, MI), Beginning of Blueberry Harvest Season c.4000 BCE - The Chinese invent the concept of revenge, making possible every future martial arts movie. 927 - The Brits conquer and kill all the Engs but named the country England as a sign of good sportsmanship. 1712 - The first blueberry harvest in Canada is cancelled after all the blueberries and most of the blueberry pickers are eaten by bears. 1714 - In New England, crushed blueberries are added to white house paint to create the color Colonial Blue. Many colonists' houses are eaten by bears as a result. c.1860 - Pierre Michaux and Pierre Lallement invent the velocipede, an early type of bicycle. They turn their backs for a moment and the bike is stolen by time traveler John Titor to keep Dr. Who from buying one. 1219 - Some random middle aged guy could've figured out that the year and day were the same (12/19/1219) but he was in the Middle Ages and thus was too busy jousting. 1912 - Some random middle aged gentleman from Britain realises that the year and day were also the same, (19/12/1912) and commemorates his 693-yr old American ancestor by pillaging, drinking and regretting [it]. 1963 - Paul Hindemith's pancreas explodes, killing him a second time and 36 others a first time as he flew over Lakewurst, New Jersey. The music community rejoices once more. 1974 - International Christmas Day is announced by the International Foundation of Kids Who Can't Wait Another Week. 2001 - Michael Flatley's gay porn music and dance extravaganza Lord of the Rings is released to a largely horrified reception by janitors who wax floors. 2006 - Mike Ditka saves the world from Vin Diesel anti-chavs. Then Vin Diesel steals his bike. 2012 - Chuck Norris saves the world from Mike Ditka when the Roundhouse (London) kicks him in the foot. Whitney Houston gains intelligence and steals Chuck's bike.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
edit Recent Poems Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium (pictured) | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas
Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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