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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too. ...That automatic doors are immune to depression? ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too. ...That automatic doors are immune to depression? ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too. ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... December 29: Oh No You Fucking Don't Day In the beginning - After too many Russian reversal jokes, God turns the key and resets the universe to start the Big Bang all over again. In the process, coding for wonderful broxilopes and much-needed florpiness is lost forever. In the beginning - After one too many bad fake Oscar Wilde quotes, God once again hits the reset button and starts the Big Bang once again. This time, the quotes have already reached critical mass and fail to die. God then decides to punish the writers by creating killer bees, Rasberry Crazy Ants and Andy Dick. In the beginning - After too many Chuck Norris jokes, God turns the key and resets the universe to start the Big Bang all over again. He then allows perpetual stupidity and constant warfare, which only leads to more Chuck Norris jokes. 1434 - At the instigation of Gavin Menzies, Egyptians build the imaginary Suez Canal to allow the imaginary branch of the Grand Chinese Fleet to reach imaginary Italy in order to resupply themselves with imaginary noodles. 1491 - Amerigo Vespucci tries to hide in a back booth in a crowded restaurant, but Columbus is still able to discover Amerigo. 1532 - Children of Orthodox Christians start looking forward to Christmas which for them is sometime in the next 3 months. 1833 - Great Britain abolishes slavery, replacing it with a boot on the back of the neck. Belgium soon follows suit though still allows slavery of people whose names they can't pronounce. 1968 - Lemmings revolt and turn the tables, pushing Disney bulldozers over cliffs. 1981 - Bimbos officially become sluts. 1990 - The Monument to the Unknown Man With Plastic Shopping Bag is dedicated. Singlehanded, he stopped a column of tanks on their way to literally crush the 1989 Tiananmen Square protest. In later years he would be castigated for not using a recyclable bag and the memorial would be paved over for a Walmart parking lot.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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