Babel:Vogon

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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That Zaphod Beeblebrox has more heads than Presidency nominations? ...That automatic doors are immune to depression? ...That Zaphod Beeblebrox has more heads than Presidency nominations? ...That automatic doors are immune to depression? ...That Zaphod Beeblebrox has more heads than Presidency nominations? ...That automatic doors are immune to depression?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... December 27: Invention of the Artificial Vagina 42 - 9th anniversary of the first anniversary. 537 - Emperor Justinian I officially opens the Hagia Sofia in Constantinople with a vicars and tarts party. 1521 - Fanatical protestant preachers arrive in Wittenberg to burst party balloons and declare the apocalypse is coming their way. 1703 - Portugal and Britain sign a trade deal to give the former better access to England's wine guzzlers. Port becomes very popular but results in a lot of gouty old men. 1831 - Charles Darwin boards the HMS Beagle, and begins his lifelong mission to undermine God and all that is decent. 1939 - Adolf Hitler becomes frustrated when Germany's top scientists fail to invent the artificial vagina. 1944 - Winston Churchill invents the artificial vagina and is hailed a hero. Hitler is crushed by this and committed suicide several months later 1945 - Josef Stalin invents Soviet artificial vagina, one hundred times younger, tighter, prettier and tastier than Churchill's. Long live Comrade Stalin! Long live the artificial vagina! Long live the Revolution! Long live the Workers, who can now wank with greater realism than the downtrodden hand-dependents of the Capitalist world! Down with Churchill! Down with Capitalism! Down with Marks and Spencers! Down with Fascism! Down with Debenhams and Waitrose! Down with hands, tissues and Vaseline! 1954 - Nikita Khrushchev condemns Stalin's Soviet artificial vagina, saying it screws the lonely and single. 1954 - Nikita Khrushchev is promptly 'dealt with' by the KGB. Long live the glorious Soviet Union! 1969 - Boxing Day causes many deaths from internal bleeding as its meaning is misinterpreted. 1990 - World Peace War declared on UNO by UNO members. 2005 - 5th anniversary of the universe exploding violently. 2007 - Major cleanup after boxes from Boxing day wipe out half the human population. 2008 - King Kong does Eeyore in the honey tree. Donkey Kong is born! 2009 - When people discover what Boxing Day is actually about, it is promptly cancelled.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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