Babel:Vogon

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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache? ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache? ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That all of the diodes on my right side ache?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia (pictured) Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... Adolf Hitler doing something naughty. Probably. January 16: Pencil Envy Day c.1.5 million BCE - Cave people carefully collect and trade for as many different colors of pigment as they can. After mixing up probably fifty separate colors of paint, they mix them all together to get black. 1264 - For the first time in human history, a man is born twice. 1337 - England seethes when they find the French got 24-crayon boxes for Christmas instead of England's normal 16. This would ignite the Hundred Years War, eventually expanding into countries with colored pencils and paint sets. 1356 - Some dude gets all medieval on some other dude. 1922 - Eberhard Faber perfects the pencil but dies tragically the same day when stabbed by someone running with scissors. 1930 - Mickey Mouse loses his license to Steamboat Willie after being caught transporting 11 illegal immigrants up the Timeless River. Walt Disney distraught. 1942 - Odds are, Hitler did something bad on this date in 1942. 1969 - Freddie Blassie begins his search for pencil-necked geeks. Congress doubles its security. 1985 - MacGyver disarms a bomb in the dark using only a very large pencil and two meatballs, only to find it was actually guest star John Holmes. 1987 - Something performed by guys with poofy hair and makeup is the number one song in America. 1990 - You suddenly realize time didn't stop, but know that time stopped. Hammer time! 2000 - Something.com receives one million hits exactly at the same time some stoner dude takes his millionth hit. 2007 - The Dark Portal opens. World of Warcraft fans shit themselves.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
edit Recent Poems Alexander the Not So Great (pictured) | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas
Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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