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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That you should share and enjoy? ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That you should share and enjoy? ...That there are ten thousand monkeys outside the door who wish to discuss their play script for Hamlet? ...That you should share and enjoy?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... Where's my marble steps? January 2: Global Day of Shame and Regret (still not including Saudi Arabia), Season of Giving officially ends 0 - Nine months from now, Jesus is going to be born, or so the prophets say, not realizing that no such year exists and this would have Jesus born in September. The Libyan Sibyl grudgingly buys a calendar with kittens on it from the local bookstore. 213 - Cassius Dio first reports on the tribulations of the Germanic Alemanni tribe as they are being stomped on by the legions of Roman Emperor Caracalla "The Callous" after being extended the olive branch of peace. The tribe, later known as Swabians, would not forget and would become big fans of Rainbow, Black Sabbath and the band Dio. 1492 - Granada, the last Arab stronghold in Spain falls. Queen Isabella is now free to initiate Spanish Inquisition jokes. 1655 - The secret Yukon War takes place and ends on the same day after no one shows up. 1880 - Football is officially renamed soccer at Yale as a joke on Cambridge. A new aversion to America is born. 1933 - Adolf Hitler kills his grandmother and takes over as dictator of Germany. He explains that "she was a fucking Jew". All Christian churches give him absolution. 1945 - Hitler's bunker explodes under mysterious circumstances. His grandmother's ghost is a suspect. 1959 - Russia launches the Luna 1 satellite into space. Designed to crash into the Moon to determine the exact type of cheese it's made from, it misses, loops around and destroys a rocket about to launch at Baikonur Cosmodrome. 2003 - Some guy walks into his wasted buddy's room early in the morning to point out that the clock reads "01/02/03, 04:05:06." He is abruptly beaten with an old Sega Genesis controller, finally giving the C button a use. 2015 - Former fourteenth president and model train enthusiast Franklin Pierce rises from the dead to whine, bitch, and moan about no monument being erected for him for keeping the Union whole before "Buchanan fucked it up".
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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