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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season? ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more? ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season? ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more? ...That mattresses can be harvested all the year long except during their mating season? ...That the spice will flow ONLY if form as/psd45/434/ will be filled thrice, sent, lost, buried, burned, found again and lost once more?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus (pictured) Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration Trump tees up new American empire On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... The End Is Near! January 11: Fear of the Apocalypse Day, Guacamole/Whack-a-Mole Confusion Day 3000 BCE - God vows to destroy the Earth, possibly while drunk. 1834 BCE - Shamans kill a porcupine to determine if it is indeed the end of the world. Instead, with their hands full of quills, they determine it is the end of killing porcupines. 50 BCE - World is still not ended yet, with most everyone waiting with bated breath. As some people don't understand exactly what that is, they fail to brush in the morning and wait with bad breath. 34 - The end is near! But which end? And how near? 184 - The end is near! However, it is narrowly averted when the end fails to make a left at Albuquerque and gets lost. 1386 - Maybe the end is next week? 1862 - Mexican forces defeat a superior force of French moles outside Guerrero. By leaving out bowls of guacamole, half the French forces are tricked into go back to their headquarters for chips. Mexican cavalry then attacked with mallets, winning many prize tickets. 1967 - The Doors release the song The End but fail to trigger the Apocalypse. Most people instead up waiting for The End to end. 1979 - The movie Apocalypse Now fails to kick off the end of the world. 2004 - The Whack-a-Mole arcade game is introduced. Plastic moles equipped with high-intensity lasers fight back against a player armed with a mallet. It proves to be unpopular except in pizza joints where the burning smell from the game is covered up by the odor of burnt pizza. 2006 - The TV series Crocodile Whisperer debuts. The show garners high ratings when the animal expert is attacked and eaten after being distracted by Steve Irwin waving hello. 2016 - A woman runs for President. A woman loses the election because she has a husband that most people dislike. 2018 - Two words: Avocado toast. 2020 - The first of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse arrives. Most people spend most of their time indoors in pandemic related isolation. Nobody can agree on who or what is to blame. As a result, this year is best described as "2020 hindsight". 2027 - The end happens. Critics call it underwhelming with Rotten Tomatoes giving it a 42% rating. 2050 - The Anti-Christ shows up....for the 50th time. The dooms-dayers show up with signs....for the 5 billionth time. Too bad they are all too late for the party.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
edit Recent Poems Alexander the Not So Great (pictured) | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas
Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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