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Featured Vogon Poem Gashee morphousite Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More... Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada Yesterday's featured poem Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly, Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More... Vogon Trivia ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air? ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass? ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air? ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass? ...That the only way to make an Infinite Improbability Drive is Having a Finite Probably Drive adjusted to the exactly probability of an Infinite Improbability Drive popping out in the air? ...That your house is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?	Constructor Fleet Headlines Trump breaks the Mustache Mafia (pictured) Hegseth orders drone attack on Santa Claus Trump renames Christmas Uncyclopedia implements funny ban Miley Cyrus lends her wrecking ball to Donald Trump Prince Andrew to go into permanent exile John Bolton is indicted Florida to use Cracker Barrels as immigration checkpoints Flying Dildos dominate the WNBA Epstein list emerges Miss England to Miss World: I'm out Qatar gifts Trump an airplane Popeye deported for gang-related tattoos DOGE calls on Uncyclopedia Weezer gets weird at Trump's inauguration On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster... February 17: International Gay, Lesbian, Transexual and Bisexual (GATTACA) Day 28 CE - Jesus informs his disciples that he's gay. They all laugh at his little joke and proceed to gangbang Mary Magdalene. 29 - Mary Magdalene is found in a dark room with lipstick all over her face, abusing herself in a mirror. 903 - Bored scribes copying Bibles would write in passages saying God hated gays. This would not be taken seriously until the 20th century. 1798 - Thomas Jefferson receives an anonymous valentine, hoping against hope it is from Alexander Hamilton but suspecting Benjamin Franklin. 1931 - Under pressure, restaurants throughout America are forced to remove Gouda cheese from their lettuce, Gouda, bacon and tomato (LGBT) sandwiches, which then become less-interesting BLT sandwiches (shown). 1987 - Pedobear attacks the LGBT movement from the pulpit of Westboro Baptist Church, a congregation of bad sign painters with psychiatric medication issues. 1999 - Newspaper shipping reports get with the times and change their coverage to fanfic on the internet. 2001 - HAL 9000, a homophobic computer, attempts to kill two gay dudes on a spaceship. Hilarity ensues. 2004 - People named Gaylord are asked if they have ever watched the television show Gaylords Say No. Most say no. 2006 - You finally forget about your miserable Valentine's Day, only to be tormented by this reminder. 2009 - Rabbit ears are officially obsolete in America. By law, lagomorphs across the nation must upgrade to sonar. 2009 - MP John Prescott is violently molested by a fanatical Pavarotti obsessive. 2009 - John Prescott is discovered at the corner of Downing Street in a corset and fish-net tights attempting to whore himself out to passing single parents. He is quickly put back on tranquilisers, ceasing all higher brain functions and allowing normal command of the country to resume. 2019 - Denmark is officially recognised as a mistake and erased from history. 2040 - All world languages are revoked and replaced with American, a language consisting solely of words with one syllable or less. 3010 - The Iraq War is resolved to the satisfaction of all thanks to the complete absence of Iraq.
Today's featured picture The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz Edit Caption - Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images
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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes. This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is. Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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