Babel:Vogon

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37,403 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too.
  • ...That your planet is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?
  • ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too.
  • ...That your planet is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?
  • ...That dolphins are smarter than you? Mice too.
  • ...That your planet is just about to be torn down in order to make way for a new bypass?

Constructor Fleet Headlines


On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

My beach, my waves, my sand, GO HOME!

March 22: Water Day

  • 3400 BC - Citizens of Atlantis become so enamored with water that they decide to sink their island into the sea, which is principally composed of water. Mostly, kind of.
  • 338 BC - Aristotle is stunned to discover what fish do in water and swears off the stuff forever.
  • 1452 - Tired of city-state constantly fighting city-state, the Mayan Empire decides to invade itself to simplify things. It works like a charm.
  • 1745 - Water Day is officially recognized by fish for the first time; when asked why fish officials reply, "For the halibut."
  • 1801 - The myth that domesticated turkeys will drown themselves by looking up when it rains is disproved. It is also found that humans watching turkeys by standing out in the rain have a 65% chance of contracting pneumonia, but only 10% die of drowning trying to look up when its raining.
  • 1894 - Using "frozen water", the first playoff game for the Stanley Cup starts.
  • 1899 - Tired of delivering pitchers of ice water to Helen Keller's hotel room after she keeps calling them saying "wa-ter, wa-ter", hotel staff ignore her. They later find her teacher Anne Sullivan drowned in an overflowing bathtub in the locked bathroom.
  • 1941 - The state of Washington enslaves water to generate electricity using the Grand Coulee Dam.
  • 1997 - Tara Lipinski, age 14 years and 10 months, becomes the youngest champion of the women's world frozen water walking competition.
  • 1999 - Oprah drinks water on her show. Water sales triple among women.
  • 2005 - Water invades New Orleans. Congress declares war on water.
  • 2008 - Four-year-old Amanda Dinkleschmidt celebrates Water Day by giving her goldfish some water.
  • 2014 - Water now only exists in plastic bottles. Fish cope as best they can.

Today's featured picture

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The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems

Arthur Currie | Full house (pictured) | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax


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Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

Wotm.jpg

A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog.jpg

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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