Babel:Vogon

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Welcome To Vogonopedia,

37,372 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That all your bypasses are belong to us?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That all your bypasses are belong to us?
  • ...That what you'd really like to drink almost...almost resembles something, which is completely unlike tea?
  • ...That all your bypasses are belong to us?

Constructor Fleet Headlines


On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Remember kids: You can use your holiday packaging to make a festive Boxing Day display!

December 26: Packaging Day, Useless Office Memorandum Day, International Go to the Pub all Afternoon and Have a Row With the Missus Day

  • The 3rd day of creation - God creates the useless memorandum.
  • 0 - Rudolph catches everlasting cold after night out; he is condemned to a permanent red nose.
  • 17 CE - Jesus recovers from a 'wicked birthday hangover' and cleans up the house before his parents get home.
  • 35 - Stephen the Protomartyr gets stoned off his ass.
  • 931 - Good King Wenceslas looked out, on the Feast of Stephen; when the snow lay round about, deep and crisp and even. King Wenceslas then remembers that Stephen really, really likes snowcones.
  • 1991 - The USSR trips on a banana peel and falls down. This marked the end of the communist regime, but Gorbachev's birth mark (wine stain) remained.
  • 2002 - Last recorded vowel movement for God. In an indirect response to this anniversary, God decides to take out His frustration on His rich children every year after-wizard.
  • 2003 - There is devastating spongecake in Ham because they own too many fairy cakes, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - Realising he has nothing to bitch about, Bob Geldof creates a devastating tsunami.
  • 2004 - There is devastating toffee in Southeast Asia because they own too many fudges, and Bob makes them play.
  • 2004 - The idea for Deal or No Deal is created on Boxing Day after Noel Edmonds is trapped in a box, the producer of the show opening it and gasping, thinking 'Hey, why don't we do that with something valuable in the boxes?'
  • 2008 - Mars is destroyed because the Bible has no recorded evidence of Martians, and God makes it pay.
  • 2011 - A devastating white hole wipes out God, leaving no one to make no one pay.
  • 6325 - Despite the discovery of the lost pelvis of Richard Belzer, our world still sucks.

Today's featured picture

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The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems

Alexander the Not So Great (pictured) | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

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A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog.jpg

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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