Babel:Vogon

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37,400 Planets Destroyed for Interstellar Bypass

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Featured Vogon Poem

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Gashee morphousite

Gashee morphousite, thou expungiest quoopisk Fripping lyshus wimbgunts, awhilst moongrovenly kormzibs. Bleem miserable venchit! Bleem forever mestinglish asunder frapt! Gerond withoutitude form into formless bloit, why not then? Moose. More...

Recently featured: The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul - The Meaning of Liff - Mostly Harmless - Shada

Yesterday's featured poem

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Oh Freddled Gruntbuggly,

Oh freddled gruntbuggly, Thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits On a lurgid bee. Groop, I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes And hooptiously drangle me With crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwarts with my blurglecruncheon, See if I don't! More...

Vogon Trivia

  • ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42?
  • ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42?
  • ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?
  • ...That the answer to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything, is 42?
  • ....That 42 is seven (the number of God) times six (the number of the Devil) but this is totally unrelated to this number being the answer for to the greatest question of all, of life, universe and everything?
  • ...That you should share and enjoy?

Constructor Fleet Headlines


On This Day in the Megabrantis cluster...

Alas, poor Yorkie, I knew his ratio...

February 7: National Don't Memorize Your Lines Day

  • 33 CE - Jesus memorizes his lines.
  • 1756 - Oscar Wilde opens in a play for which he did not memorize his lines. He improvs the whole play, to everyone's amazement. This dialogue became the basis for Wilde's 'The Importance of Being Ernest'. It also lead to the consequent discovery of cheese.
  • 1823 - ummmmm... Line!
  • 1876 - Steam locomotive forgets its lines, derails, crashes, kills hundreds. Fuckwit.
  • 1901 - Sherlock Holmes forgets his "lines".
  • 1950 - The... teleprompter... is... invented... for... people... who... do... not... something.
  • 1965 - Birthday of Gamera. Gamera gets his ass handed to him before he can destroy Tokyo by Godzilla. Since Tokyo is now not in any immediate danger, Godzilla destroys Tokyo.
  • 1967 - The Japanese monster movies introduce their most terrifying monster character yet: "Hitler" - a human who attacks other nations without provocation and slaughters millions. His most successful movie, World War II, pits him against another monster, Stalin. Stalin is given eye beams to counter Hitler's flame-breath. In a strange turn of events, Tokyo is not destroyed. Modern science is baffled.
  • 1975 - American troops in Vietnam forget their lines. The A team are wrongly accused of this. They promptly escape using a combination of Bill Clinton's cigars, a cabbage launcher and Mr T's pity. The rest is history.
  • 1980 - Riverdance is originally performed by Shetland ponies. However, thrown horseshoes kill several audience members so human replacements are used afterwards.
  • 1998 - OMEs plan to to declare war on the emos... but they forget their lines.
  • 2005 - This is the day the All Mighty Muffin Lord takes over Earth Beta. He conquered the previous ruler because he had his lines memorized.
  • 2007 - The All Mighty Muffin Lord forgets his lines and is killed by the Earth Beta version of Peyton Manning (who is, in this timeline, a neo-Nazi overlord).
  • 2008 - Don't know what happens today? Well if you'd learned your lines you'd know what this was going to say. Tough shit.

Today's featured picture

Vogon.jpg

The beauty and decisiveness of the Vogon race is apparent with one look at the firm jawline, the blazing eyes, and the oozing smell of stale beer with a hint of burning cat hair

Image Credit: Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz
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Recent Poems

Alexander the Not So Great (pictured) | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events‎ | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism


More recent poems | Most wanted poems | Requested poems | Add to stubs | Lonely poems | Poetry Review | Try writing a poem about... | Stuck stanzas

Hitchhiker and Towel of the Month

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A well-known British hitchiker, Braydie Dent has hitched over a dozen stellar systems. His most known phrases consist of: What? and Tea please!. On his spare time he enjoys insanity, cricket, and that famous game that those British enjoy so much...what was it? Oh! Self loathing. Yes.


Toweldog.jpg

This months Towel is the infamous TowelHax. He has captured a unique perspective of the Galaxy's events with his travels across the milky way. Sass that froopy towel. He knows where his towel he is.


Vote for Hiker of the month | Vote for Detached Arm of the Month | Vote for the Triple Breasted Whore of the Month | Past Winners

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