You have two cows/11

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This article is part of the You have two cows series.


Mistranslation
some own cows of two
1337
Y00 |-|@\/ 2 |<0\/\/Z 101Z
AAAAAAAAA!
AAAAA AAA AAAAA AA A AAAAAAA AA AAAA AAA AAAA.!
African clicky noises
Klickx! X!click !klikk! k'clack kl!ck.
Afrikaans
U het twee koeie.
Al Bhed
Oui ryja dfu lufc.
Amish
I have two cows, but you cannot see them because we don't have electricity.
Amish 2
Oh yes, I have two cows. They're out in the barn we built this morning. Would you like to see? Oh, and no photos or videos please.
AOL
u hav 2 cows??/
Arabic
لديك اثنين من الابقار.
American
You have two hamburgers.
Armenian
Երկու կով ունիս
Attorney

Attorney: You stated in your affidavit that you have two cows. Is this correct?

Witness: Yes.

Attorney: Yet you told the court earlier that you have three cows, did you not?

Australian
Fuck the cows, chuck another steak on the barbie and get me a beer!
Aza Mazian
Youzay hazayve twozay cowzays.
Babelized
They appear at the moment with the 2 clean cows.
Baby Speak
Mama and Dada have two moo-moos.
sdrawkcaB
.swoc owt evah uoY
Bad English
Youz gat 2 fckn kowz.
Bartixan
Yix Tix Cixz
Bengali (Bangal)
Tor duita goru ase, Shallah! তোর দুইটা গরু আসে, সাল্লা!
Bengali (Ghoti)
Apnar dukhana goru ache. আপনার দুখানা গরু আছে।
Billy Mays
HI! BILLY MAYS HERE TO SELL YOU TWO COWS! ONLY FOR THREE EASY PAYMENTS OF $19.95! HURRY! SUPPLIES ARE LIMITED! BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! BUY TWO COWS AND GET A THIRD ONE FREE!
Binary
01001110 01001111 00100000 01000010 01001001 01001110 01000001 01010010 01011001 00100000 01000011 01001111 01010111 01010011 00100000 01000110 01001111 01010010 00100000 01011001 01001111 01010101 00101100 00100000 01000010 01001001 01010100 01000011 01001000
Boomhauer
Yup, I tell ya what man, you got those two cows goin' on there man, that's a lot o' milk there, me I just buy milk from the corner store man, they got a special, buy one quart get one free man.
Braille
⠠⠽⠕⠥ ⠓⠁⠧⠑ ⠞⠺⠕ ⠉⠕⠺⠎⠲
Brazilian Portuguese
Você tem duas vacas. Uma é a sua mulher. A outra eu não sei, talvez seja você mesmo, só que sem os chifres.
Black Hand (Brotherhood of Nod)
One vision, one purpose, two cows.
Brotherhood of Nod
The Two Cows live!
Bulgarian
Имаш две родопски крави!
Bulgarian English
You are have two kravas! Да тъ еба, не разбираш... TWO... KRAVAS!
Canada
Yoo have two cows, eh? Well, how aboot that, eh?
Canada (2)
You have two cows. Vous avez deux vaches.
Caveman
Hrroom! Hrrum! Hrrussh! Hrruup!
Chatspeak
u hv lyk 2 cws wtf lol brb
Chinese (Cantonese)
真係唔明喇,點解你有兩頭bull,但係冇半頭牛呀?
Chinese (Simplified)
哞~挣钱的同胞们的两头牛请交给中国共产党保管
Chinese (Traditional)
哞~你已經有兩頭牛!請繼續努力賺錢,吃吧!
Chinese (Literal)
你有两头牛。
Chinese (Death Note)
ni you liang tou niu. Ni na le yi tou, ba ta gei CHI LE.
Bill And Ted
You totally have two cows, dude! EXCELLENT!
Bill Clinton
You have two cows, depending on what the meaning of "you", "have", "two" and "cows" is.
Cherokee
'tso u-ha 'ta-'li wa-ga (Ꮶ ᎤᎭ ᏔᎵ ᏩᎦ)
Chocobo
Wark? Kweh! Kweh! KWEH!
Coach Z
You haerve two CAAAOOOOOORRRRRRRWWWS!!
Cockney English
Blimey! You 'ave a couple a' Chairman Maos. Nuff said, yeah?
Comedian
Two cows walk into a bar...
Communist
Those two cows belong to everyone.
Cow
Moo.
Cow 2
Nobody asked me about any of this two cow business!
crazzzy
ääääääääg pölöpååååååppeli hüüt.
Crash Bandicoot Talk
Ahoo gagabadibbadababibble.
Croatian
Imaš dvije krave. Ali si u onome sistemu imao tri.
Crono
... ... ... ... .
Cryptography
MQG B7JX EZQ HQZA
Cynicalese
You have two cows.....riiiiiiiight. This is a bunch of bullshit!
Czech
Máš dvě krávy.
Danish
Du har to køer
Danish (Translated)
You have two cows.
Danish½
Du ejer ingen køer da Sverige og Tyskland har erklæret det som krigsbytte for alle de krige du har tabt.
Danish½ (Translated)
You don't have any cows since Sweden and Germany have claimed it to pay off all those wars that you have lost.
Dirty Talk
Are those two cows in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
Divehi (Maldives)
ތިބޭޅާ އަތްޕުޅުގަ އޮތީ ދެގެރި އިނގޭތޯ؟
Dolphin (language)
K'kkk squeeek squak'kkkk squee!
The 3 Dot Language
...
Draconic
You had two cows....but then you got hungry and ate them.
Draconic (Native Language)
Draglang.png
Duck
Quack quack quack quack.
Dutch
Je hebt twee koeien, en ze zijn allebei stoned.
Dyslexic
Yuo heav tow cwos.
Early Modern English
Thou hast two kine.
Ebonics
Shiiiit, yo. Y'all be gettin' yo' two cows on like a muthafucka.
Egyptian hieroglyphs
         (__)
         (oo)
  /-------\/   | |
 / |     ||    | |
*  ||----||    | |
   ^^    ^^
Egyptian hieroglyphs 2

(>.<)_,,!,, U!

Elvish
Elda Haryanëryë yaxët ono ùmëa nauco macët. (An elf had two cows, but an evil dwarf killed them.)
Engrish
Two cow are berong to you.
Engrish (2)
There is have two cows. You is operate many mirk of both to make.
Enron My two cows beacame four after I sold them to a subisdy in the Cayman Islands before multiplying them by two to ensure that, instead of 8 cows, I actually had 9 from the beginning, but sold those 11 cows so I would not have to report them in the Fiscal Report.
Esperanto
Vi havas du bovinojn. Unu parolas la ĉinan kaj unu parolas la litovan, sed ili ambaŭ povas paroli flue Esperanton.
Estonian
Sul on kaks lehma. Amuuu..
Ethiopian
Hah-boo-gee-snik-gowah-Kow! Gowah gowah eat!
Evil Overlord
Foolish man. You think you have the upper hand because you have two cows? That is what I wanted you to think. Even now, a microscopic bio-nanobot army tears through your cows blood system, rendering them milkless. If you want your cows to live you will have twenty nine minutes to relenquish the obsidian mind crystal to me or I will crush them like it is only too easy to do so.
Filipino (Tagalog)
Ikaw ay may dalawang mga baka.
Finnish
Sinulla on kaksi lehmää. Sulla on kaks lehemää. Mutsillas oli kaks lehmää.
Finnish (translated)
You have two cows. U av 2 cowz. Ur mom had 2 cowz.
Flemish
Awel, gij hebt twee koeien he, moar ons Bella, da's een kwaai zenne!
French
Vous avez deux vaches... mais elles sont en grêve depuis que l'on veut vendre leur oncle en steak haché avec des freedom fries dans un McDo.
French
Fetchez les deux vaches!!
Les quois?!
Gangsta
yo, ya matha ****ing loco cows are righta hierrrrraaaaaaaaa!!!((gunshot))
George Bush
I am the decider. I have decided your two cows will fight in Iraq.
German
Du hast zwei Kühe. Eine ist arbeitslos. Sieg Heil!
German (Translated)
You have two cows. One is unemployed. Victory!
German before the Reunion
Du hast zwei Kühe. Zwischen beiden steht eine Mauer.
German before the Reunion (Translated)
You have two cows. There's a wall between them.
Greek
Έχετε δύο αγελάδες.
Groundhogese
Hehaa chitter ooat urp.
Gumby
MMM! MMMM! MMM MMMM!!
Hebrew
!אחי, יש'ך שתי פרות Achi, Yesh le'cha shtei parot!
Hindi (Correct version)
Aapke paas do gaayen hain. आपके पास दो गायें हैं । (Means: You have two cows)
Hindi (Translated by Google Translate)
Aap do gayon hai. आप दो गायों है| (Means: You are two cows)
Hungarian
Két tehened van. Statisztikák készülnek róluk és kiderül, hogy átlagosan 5.4 lábuk van és 3 amper tejet csinálnak. A Magyar Köztársaság Kormánya köszöni, hogy ennek a tejnek 95.74%-ának árával politikusaink zsebét tömi.
Hungarian 2
My hovercraft is full of cows.
Huttese
Gru i gren groag cogrs
Hyperbolic
Oh my fucking god, everyone has two-hundred cows!
Icelandic
Þú hefur tvær kýr.
Icelandic (2)
Til allra sem geta lesið þetta: til hvers eruð þið að eiða tímanum í svona dellu. Slökvið á tölvunni, farið út og hlaupið nokra hringi í kringum húsið ykkar. Og þegar þið komið aftur inn skulið þið lesa góða bók!!! TAKK FYRIR. (Á meðan ég man: Þú átt tvær kýr, þær segja mu)
IM
OMG u hav, lk, 2 cowz!!1!
Incoherant Grunts
Unngh! UUUUNGH! Uuhnghhng!
Incoherant Statements
You said your grandmother licked soda towels.
Indonesian
Kamu punya dua sapi. Kamu curi satu sapi portugis. Sapi yang portugis lari sama tetangganya kamu.
Indonesian, Bahasa Gaul
Eloe punya sapi dua. Sapi loe keren abiz bo'.
Invisible Ink
you have two cows.
Irish
Tá dhá bhó agat. Deir siad múúúúú.
Irony
You had two cows, until they trampled each other.
Italian
Tu hai due mucche.
Japanese, Formal
貴方は牛を二頭所有している。 (anata-ha ushi-wo nitou shoyuu-shiteiru)
Japanese, Colloquial
お前んち、牛二頭いんじゃん。 (omae-n-chi, ushi-nitouo-in'jan)
Japanese, Pokemon
牛二頭ゲットだぜ!ムー! (Two cows GET! Mū!)
Japanese, VIPPER
ちょwwwwテラ牛二頭wwwwwwwおまwwww
Japanese, Tsundere
べ、別にあんたのために牛が二頭いるわけじゃないんだからね!
Japanese, weaboo
TWO COWS DESU!!!NEKO BAKA KAWAII ONICHAN!!!!!
Javanese
Kowe duwe sapi loro. Siji nggo aku wae ya?
Javanese, Krama
Sampeyan ngagem sapi kalih. Setunggal kangge kula mawon nggih?
Javanese, Walikan
Nyothe muthe bahi ngoyo. Bici lto panyu thae ra?
Jive
Youse have two cows.
Jive 2
Aw, hell yeah! Daaamn, this jive-ass sucker done got hisself two of da finest cows this brutha ever saw! Y'knaw what I'm sayin'? Shonuff ya do!
Kannada
Nimma hatthira erada akalu ide.
Kannada Local
Sisya nin thava eldu hasugalu aithe.
Kazakh
You are have two cow, worth half price of low-quality wife! Is nice, you like?
Kazakh 2
You don't have two cows. You have two horses.
Kazakh 3
You have two cow... NOT!
Kitty
Meow Meow Meow Meow
Kiwi
You got two cows but you're to busy having sex with sheep to notice
Klingon
cha' tangqa' Daghaj
Konkani
Tuka don pade assa
Kontinlanguage (Fenno-Anglic pig latin)
Kouyontti kovehantti kootwontti kowscontti. Koeythontti kon'tdontti konderstanduntti kontinkonttikonguagelantti.
Korean (literal)
너는 소 두 마리를 가지고 있다. (Neoneun so du marireul gajigo itta.)
Korean (South)
당신은 소 두 마리를 가지고 있습니다. 지금 최신 사양의 소로 교체하시면 송아지 한 마리가 무료! (Dangsineun so du marireul gajigo isseupnida. Jigeum choesin sayang-ui soro gyochehasimyeon song-aji han mariga muryo!)
Korean (North)
동무는 당에서 내려준 소 두 마리를 갖고 있소. 그 소를 잘 키우는 것은 장군님과 당에 대한 동무의 의무요. (Tongmunŭn TANG-esŏ naeryŏjun so tu marirŭl katko isso. Kŭ sorŭl chal k'aunŭn kŏsŭn CHANGGUNNIMgwa TANG-e taehan tongmuŭi ŭimuyo.)
Kurdish
Du mângana te heye.
Krio
You two cows deh.
Latin (Cicero)
Habes in nomine Senati Populique Quiritii Romanorum duas vaccas.
Latin (Virgil)
Velut mundum torques sedulus, Iuppiter pater,
Duas vaccas omnibus possedisti mirandas.
Lithuanian
Dvi karvutės, dvi karvutės žalią žolę ėdė...
Lithuanian*2
You have 2 cows, there currently being massacred by Teutonic knights because the farmer dosnt worship Jesus
Latin
Vaccas duas habes.
Latvian
Tev ir divas govis. Tā melnā ir okupante.
Lolcat
I can has two cows?
Lorem Ipsum
Lorem ipsum cows dolor sit amet.
Mafia
We're gonna make your two cows an offer thay cannot refuse, capisce?
Malay
Anda mempunyai dua lembu.
Maltese
Għandek żewg baqriet. (The European Union tries to translate this!)
Mancunian
E'ar! 'E's got two fuckin' cows! Blindin'!
Manglish
Where can two cows like that. Aiyah, oklah.
Maori
Yous fellas got two cows bro, huhuhuhu!
Massachusetts
You got ta cows. Wonda why. 'Scuse me, I'm goin' ta da bubbla. Afta dat, I'll go pawk ma caw in da yawd.
Marathi
Tumchyakade don gaai aahet. Tyana pujaa karawa.
Mayan
'a nu cha' ch'ab'
Metropolitan
I'VE GOT YOUR F*CKING COWS RIGHT HERE!
Middle English
Thou hast twa kine. Mou.
Mimomo
Mimo ma moomoo momo.
Minnesotan
Uff-da! You got two cows dere, you betcha.
Modern Welsh
Is there any Marijuana on you?
Moldavian
Nu, iaca tu tipa ai douâ vaşi...
Morse
-.-- --- ..- / .... .- ...- . / - .-- --- / -.-. --- .-- ... / -... ..- - / -.-- --- ..- / -.-. .- -. .----.
- / .-. . .- -.. / - .... . -- / -... . -.-. .- ..- ... . / - .... . -.-- / .- .-. . / .. -. / -- --- .-. ... .
MooSpeak
Moo mooo moo cows.
Mr. Saturn
HAvE TwO COws, BOinG! DAKOTA!
Nadsat
You have dva korovas, some veck crasts them off you. You gavoreet to some of your droogs, itty 'round his place, and filly and dratsy with him to set him right.
Nadsat 2
You have dva korovas. You drink some moloko plus.
Newspeak
2 cows are ownwise. If 2 cows are pluswise, 5 cows fullwise.
Norwegian
Du har to kuer.
Norwegian, north
Du din førbanna hæstkuk har to kua.
Obama
With these two cows, Hope and Change, we can make America a better place.
Oklahoman
You have two cows. Why can't we be in Texas, instead?
Old Welsh
Mae gennych chi ddwy fuwch.
Old English
Þú hæfst twá cý.
OOOOOOOOO
:ooo dude you have two cows!!!.
Ostrobothnian
Sullon kaks itikkaa, mut mullonki enemmä!
Otaku
Wai-wai! You has two cows. That is so kawaii!
Paris Hilton
you have two cows... That's Hot! Wanna have a four way with the cows?
Pig Latin
Habe tuous couus quid latinus ueryus goodus speacent.
Pig Latin the second
ouryay othermay adhay wotay owscay
Polish
Masz dwie krowy, ale przed 1989 miałeś tylko kartki na krowy i musiałeś czekać 10 lat aż dostaniesz krowy.
Polish Poznań dialect
źęń 2 żółść, kurwa tej!
Political Candidate
If I am elected, I promise to provide everyone with two cows.
Portuguese
You've got two cows, que porra!
European Portuguese
Tu tens duas vacas, e fazes uma bicha para vendê-las a uns putos.
Brazilian Portuguese
Você tem duas vacas, não vai tomar leite do boi, porra!!!
Proto-Gibberish
??¿?COW
Proto-Indo-European
duwo-s gwou-o káp-si
Québecois
V'z'avé deux vaches, d'calisse en m'dit tartôfoffies!
Québecois
Bin oui, t'as deux vaches. Kessé k'tu veux bin k'ça m'crisse?
Québecois
Tes deux vaches sont plus petites que les miennes. J'te jure.
Redneck English
Yo' haf two cows.
Redneck English (2)
Yup, ya got yerself coupla cows thar...yup..mmmmm hmmm.
Romanian
Ai două vaci.. pe care ti le-a luat apa. (You have two cows.. and the flood took them away)
ROT13
Lbh unir gjb pbjf, ohg gurl tbg gnxra njnl sbe artyrpg nsgre lbh fcraq ubhef ba gur vagrearg gnyxvat va EBG13!
Putin
There is no such thing as 2 cows.
Russian
А ты уже поимел двух коров?
Russian 2
Чoц hдvе тwo cфшs.
Russian Reversal
In Soviet Russia, two cows have YOU!!
Russian Russian Reversal
В Советской России, у двух коров есть ТЫ!
Russian Russian Reversal Reversal
В Капиталистической Америке, две коровы вас похоронят!
Sanskrit
tava sameeepe dvou gaavaou staha..
Sarcasm
Nah, you don't say, you have have two cows.
Scooby-Doo-ish
Roo rav roo rows.
Scottish Gaelic
Tha dà bò agad.
Scottish English
Ye cannae huv two coos.
Screaming Madman Dialect
FUCK! EVERYONE HAS TWO COWS EXCEPT ME BECAUSE THEY TOOK MY COWS AWAY? WHO IS THEY? GOOD QUESTION! I DON'T KNOW! LET'S ASK THAT FUCKING COW!
Senator
An act mandating that everyone have two cows and declaring an emergency.
Serbian
Имаш две краве.
Simlish
Uwah shnanamo.
Simon Ray
Ur a Nigel, duckhead!
Simple
Cows. Two.
Singlish
Wah lau eh, you got two cows sia.
Slovak
Máš dve kravy.
Snoop Dogg
Fo Shizzle Two Cavizzle Mah Nizzle
Spanish
Tienes dos vacas. D VRAS?
Spanish 2
Tienes dos vacas, y ya no le saces leche al guey!
Argentinian Spanish
Che, chabón, tenés dos vacas boludo.
Chilean Slang
Este hueón tiene dos vacas.
Mexican Slang
Presta las vacas carnal.
Spanglish
You have dos cows, pendejo.
Spoonerism
Mardon me padam, I believe you have coo Taos.
Steve Ballmer
Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers! Developers!
Sumerian
(shu ishu shina ab ana)
Sumerian you have two cows.GIF


Swedish
Du har två kor.
Swedish (2)
du ba har två kor å dom ba börja knulla typ *skrattar*
Swedish (3)
Yuoo hefe-a tvu cows. Tudee, ve veel meke-a zee sooper schmurty-flurty-beeshy-boshy milk! Bork bork bork! Und um de hur, de hur de her, de cow udders...
Swahili
Unakuwa mibili ng'ombe
Tamil
Ungalidam irandu Pasukkal ullana. Pasu paal kodukkum. உங்களிடம் இரண்டு பசுக்கள் உள்ளன . பசு பால் கொடுக்கும் .
Tamil (Madras)
Unnaanda redndu maadu keethuba! maadu paal kudukkum, atha kuduchuttu ootaanda nalla kalaaikalaam! உன்னாண்ட ரண்டு மாடு கீதுப்பா ! மாடு பால் குடுக்கும் , அத்த குட்சுட்டு ஊட்டாண்ட னல்லா கலாய்க்கலாம்
Tamil (Maniratnam)
நீ , ரெண்டு , மாடு !! Nee , Rendu , Maadu
Tlön-Uqbar
It youly cowed twice.
Tomswifty
"Your two cows give excellent milk," Tom uddered.
Turkish
İki ineğiniz var...
Turkish (2)
ÖKÜÜÜÜÜZZZZZ!!!!!!
Turkish (3)
O diil de sizin iki ineğiniz vardı nooldo onlara?
Turkish (4)
Bayramda altı aile iki ineğe girdik.
Typo
Yuo have tow wosc
Typo - 2
You have two vows.
Uncertain
You have two cows. At least, I think you do. Are those cows? Or cardboard ones, maybe? Um... Maybe 1 cow and 1 over-sized white pig with black spots?
Valley Girl
You like, totally have two cows, man! OMG!
Vince
Hi it's Vince with ShamCow. You'll be saying Cow every time you use this towel. It's like a shammy, it's like a cow. A regular cow doesn't milk wet. This one milks dry, and wet.
weirdo
jkcnnvfnvnsnzinvdnnfhnjkxdn\bdvfjdnvjdnvjbnbnfnznjidgnnf
West Midlands English
"What am those?" "They'm two cows."
Whale
Youuuuuu Haaaaaave twwwwwwwwoooooooo Cooooowws
Flemish
Je hebt twee koeien. Een wil vlaamse onafhankelijkheid, de ander vindt haar een lompe koei. Je eet de eerste koe op.

World of Warcraft : 2 cows looking for group plz fast

Yiddish
Two cows? That schlemiel? Oy, a shaynim broches. I should have such mazel!
Yoda
Two cows you have. Cows lead to milk. Milk leads to Dairy Products. Dairy Products lead to deaths of lactose intolerant individuals.
Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged
You have two cows playing a childrens' card game. Nyeh!
Nazi
Vee haf 2 cow to make you talk. Vee vill kill ze two cows if you don't talk.
Gamer
All your cow are belong to us
Goku
What's a cow? Does it fight fair?
l33tGamer
u hv 2 c0wz and I'll pwn you NEwayz.
l33tGamer 2
ha ha the n00b pwned 2 l33t cws
n00b
Where can I download 2 cows?
R2D2
blip blip bloop
Oscar Wilde
The two cows are gay.
Dawn of War Player
There is only one mission. Kill Two cows
Diablo 2 Player
meh I'll put wert's leg and a tome of townportal into a horadric cube and get pwned by two cows.
Space Marine
Burn the Heretic, Kill the mutant, Milk thy two cows.
Andorran: You don't have two cows; WE DO! RIGHT HERE ON OUR FLAG!
Flag of Andorra.png
Uncyclopedia presents: the You have two cows anthology!

“I have what???”

~ Captain Oblivious on You have two cows

Richard Dawkins
How can you have two cows when cows do not exist! Where's your proof?! HA YOU HAVE NONE! THEREFORE YOU CANNOT HAVE ANY COWS AND COWS DO NOT EXIST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T PROVE IT!!!!!!!! YOUR ARGUMENTS ARE IRRATIONAL, ILLOGICAL, AND IMPROBABLE (they are the only words in his vocabulary)!!! *Has a tantrum, and is hailed as the best scientist ever and as a God by too many atheists, even though they don't believe in God, thanks to the research of Richard Dawkins*