Xenophobium/Xe
The most noble of Element 54, Xenophobium, is the least welcoming of all the elements of the Periodic Table, refusing to have any sort of relationship with other atoms reputably because “they speak funny and smell of curry”.
Xenophobium is first recorded in Ancient Greece but has been noted in England and France, Tsarist Russia and was especially prevalent in 1940’s Germany where it was systematically prospected for before being concentrated in special holiday-camps. It is known that Xenophobium has been responsible for the organisation of pogroms across neighbouring groups and periods, and is often blamed for the displacement of Gypsum from Group 0 and its subsequent extermination.
Symptoms of Xenophobium-poisoning are said to include a narrow-minded world view, unprovoked bouts of rage and deviant sexual interest in pets, your sister and your sister’s pets. Information from former KGB agents suggests that George W. Bush may have been subject to a deliberate attempt to poison him with Xenophobium at a 2001 summit-meeting in the Kremlin, thus precipitating the second Gulf War. Until the mid 1980’s Xenophobium mining industries centred on South Africa but in recent decades production has shifted back to Russia and its traditional home in the southern states of America, particularly Texas.
| H | | He | |||||||||||||||
| Li | Be | | B | C | N | O | F | Ne | |||||||||
| Na | Mg | | Al | Si | P | S | Cl | Ar | |||||||||
| K | Ca | Sc | Ti | V | Cr | Mn | Fe | Co | Ni | Cu | Zn | Ga | Ge | As | Se | Br | Kr |
| Rb | Sr | Y | Zr | Nb | Mo | Tc | Ru | Rh | Pd | Ag | Cd | In | Sn | Sb | Te | I | Xe |
| Cs | Ba | Lu | Hf | Ta | W | Re | Os | Ir | Pt | Au | Hg | Tl | Pb | Bi | Po | At | Rn |
| Fr | Ra | Lr | Rf | Db | Sg | Bh | Hs | Mt | Ds | Rg | Cn | Nh | Fl | Mc | Lm | Ts | Og |
| | |||||||||||||||||
| La | Ce | Pr | Nd | Pm | Sm | Eu | Gd | Tb | Dy | Ho | Er | Tm | Yb | ||||
| Ac | Th | Pa | U | Np | Pu | Am | Cm | Bk | Cf | Es | Fm | Md | No | ||||