The Rock

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The Rock getting ready to enjoy his latest movie.

“You need to shut your mouth, go down Know Your Role Boulevard, just off Jabroni Drive, and check yourself directly into the Smackdown Hotel, where The Rock will be waiting to layeth the smacketh downeth on your candy ass!”

~ The Rock on you

Dwayne Douglas "Jabroni-Beatin', Pie-Eatin'" Johnson (born May 2, 1972), better known by his ring name The Rock (also referring to himself as "The Great One" or "The People's Champion" and always in the third-person), is a CanadianAmerican pro wrestler and amateur actor known to be the most hardy and electrifying man in wrestling today. Among his infinite list of accomplishments, The Rock was a 10-time world wrestling champion, being the most quoted by jocks who think they're clever, and winner of the 2000 Royal Rumble. Most importantly, The Rock is The People's Champion, the "people" being the millions...*prolonged inhale*...upon millions of Rock fans. He was noted as saying his catchphrase whenever faced against a challenge, "Just bring ittttt!"; most non-fans would comment, "It depends on what the meaning of the word 'it' is."

Although Johnson has been alive for billions of years, his wrestling career only began much later in his life. He started off as a newcomer in the WWF named Rocky Maivia, but rebranded to the tougher The Rock and made it big. At the height of his fame crew rolled him into the ring where he literally crushed the competition; no one could stand up to him. Upon winning several championships the WWF were faced with the daunting task of fashioning a bigger belt for him, rumored to be made entirely out of the spandex in Richard Simmons's workout suits. The Rock eventually quit WWE and went on to be an actor; he also became a Disney star. He is currently working in DC Comics on its DCEU brand, where he is the DC Tag-Team Champion with Z. "The DIR" Snydster. He is known to DC fans as one of the "antihero" faces, that being Shazam character Black Adam.

Early life[edit]

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Like many of the little jabronis that look up to The Rock, The Rock was born out of his American mother's pie and his Canadian father's strudel in Hollywood Hayward, California, with a family of three brothers and one sister. Johnson's maternal grandfather, "High Chief" Peter Maivia, was a professional wrestler in Hawaii. A native of Samoa, his father's "trademark" was the ceremonial tattoos that covered the lower half of his body. Johnson's father, Rocky Johnson, helped bring him up in this tradition of wrestling, strudel, and tattooedness.

Growing up, Dwayne was always made fun of in school for his diminutive stature. He dropped out of and transferred between multiple high schools due to his failing grades. He was never on sports teams, nor did he participate in his gym class as a child, claiming asthma. He tried mowing lawn one summer, but quickly gave it up. He did, however, play a lot of football in his young adult years at the University of Miami, which was the basis for The Rock's hit movie The Game Plan in which he plays an NFL quarterback living the bachelor lifestyle who soon discovers that he has a 8-year-old daughter from a previous relationship.

Johnson was inspired to be a wrestler by the bullies who constantly sat in his chair at his desk and ate all the remaining snacks in his desk as soon as he turned his back, and refused to budge when asked — until his buddy, Jay Brony, told the teacher on them and made them sit back in their own seats. Johnson briefly became interested in pool hall hustling, but quickly resettled for wrestling instead when he realized the lever of skill needed to hustle pool, citing a "back injury" that would forever mar his image in pool halls across LA. Although he paid very little attention in high school and college, Johnson figured that since none of the other wrestlers seemingly had educations, it wouldn't matter.

Wrestling career[edit]

Jobber Years: Rocky Maivia[edit]

Johnson's original alias, that of "Rocky Maivia", was a combination of names of other wrestlers.

Along with his grandfather, several members of Johnson's family are current and former professional wrestlers, including his uncles, the Wild Samoans (Afa and Sika Anoai), and cousins such as the late Japanese wrestler Yokozuna and former tag team wrestler Rikishi. When he declared his intention to join the family business to his grandfather, the elder Johnson resisted, but agreed to train his grandson himself, warning him that he would not go easy on him. With help from veteran wrestler Pat Patterson, Johnson secured a tryout with the local wrestling circuit. Impressed by his talent and charisma, he was nevertheless beaten frequently, due to his physical condition and general incompetence. After pissing off Patterson in a training match, Patterson went Hulk Hogan-mode and ran wild on Dwayne's foot. Dwayne came back a month later and when Patterson, still enraged, screamed, "YOUUUU want some more YOUUUUU little ass?!?!", Johnson coined his catchphrase, "Just bring ittttt!"

Johnson began his star-studded and eventful wrestling career in 1996, when he joined the the WWF (The Rock hates the WWE and would rather bring back the "F"). Johnson hit it into the WWF after Patterson, still enraged, told Vince McMahon that Johnson wouldn't job to him, so he had a chance in the WWF. He broke onto TV as Rocky Maivia, a John Cena-like gimmick where he was a face, but nobody liked him.

A Jobber No More: Finding Success as The Rock[edit]

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Having gained Johnson early mockery, the Maivia moniker was abandoned in 1997 for the rougher personality of The Rock, that made him into a household name across the country. After abandoning clients who turned on him when his identity as Rocky Maivia was blown, The Rock became more abusive towards his fans. Known for such abusive phrases as "Know your role and shut your mouth!", The Rock became more popular among the more affluent fanbase as a follower of Vince and Shane McMahon, with their notorious "stable" of wrestlers, and remained popular since. Within two years, he climbed up the ranks and secured the WWF Heavyweight Championship through his plethora of incomparable talent and charisma, rather than through a faked match like all other wrestling matches are. During his lucrative career as the greatest wrestler of all-time, The Rock feuded and went one-on-one with some of the best in the industry (and Triple H), including Mankind, Stone Cold Steve Austin, Wyclef Jean, Ken Shamrock, Hulk Hogan, Kurt Angle, John Cena, and Mr. Doodles.

Wrestling's popularity in the late 1990s and early 2000s resurged to a level unheard-of since the 1980s, partially as a result of power sellers or "WWF Champions" as they came to be called. As he aged, The Rock decided that, as a pop-culture icon in the wrestling world, he didn't need to wrestle anymore and could just coast on his reputation, and temporarily got out of the game in 2001 to go film The Scorpion King. He then popped in and out of WWE sporadically for a few years, taking breaks between Hollywood gigs. The fans and his clients were incensed, and in the resulting violence, Johnson had his legs and arms broken repeatedly; he has tragically been unable to wrestle normally since 2004. However, he reportedly has the consolation of owning a controlling interest in the world's largest tooth farm, rumored to produce over 80% of the knocked-out tooths used in the worldwide Tooth Fairy trade.

Comeback #1: The Rock Rocks Back[edit]

In 2011, The Rock made a surprising return to WWE in the Royal Rumble. He was the 8th eliminated after he eliminated John Cena, who didn't sell any moves Rock gave, so he gave Cena a low blow. Cena stumbled out of the ring and broke his neck, requiring 1 1/2 years out of action. The Rock was then eliminated by Charlie Haas posing as "Weird Al" Yankovic.

Comeback #2: Dwayne[edit]

After a short time, The Rock came back in 2014 to WWE as just his first name, Dwayne. He came out and after shaking hands with Dolph Ziggler, asked the world, "Can ya smell...what Dwayne has eaten?" He got into a feud with John Morrison over who had better sideburns. Following the feud with John Morrison, Dwayne feuded with Bray Wyatt and had a match at WrestleMania 32 over the WWE Championship. He went heel after suffocating Bray with blue streamers, a homage to his Rocky Maivia gimmick. He held his title for three years, but then lost to Bray in a "Trapped in Saudi Arabia" match.

In 2019, Dwayne suffered an injury that put him out of action for two hours. Flanked by Becky Lynch, Dwayne came back to his assassinator, King Corbin, slapped him in the face, and told him to turn his crown sideways and shove it up his 35-year-old baloney ass. Corbin responded with, "I'll do whatever I want, because I'm superior to you, I am superior to you, I am superior to all of you. And the way I see it is this city only has one king, and it sure as hell is not Lebron James." Corbin got released that same day. Dwayne responded to that comment in an interview, "Anyone actually listened to that broke-ass Burger King on crack?"

Jobber Years, But Now in TNA: Rocker[edit]

After screwing up his career and getting caught doing coke, Dwayne was fired from WWE, but managed to obtain a job in TNA. Johnson was faced with a new challenge: finding another gimmick. He decided to be the "Guitar-Swinging" Rocker. He got fired a week later after they found Johnson wasn't "WWE Dropout Material".

Acting career[edit]

It's Rocky! No, wait! It's THE ROCK! IF YA SMELLLLLLLLLL...WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN'!!!!

“Can you smell what the Rock is cooking?”

~ The Rock on his short-lived bakery show on the Home Living network

Johnson wanted to be an actor for a short period in high school. However, his commitment to Pool Hall hustling and later wrestling marred this. Since he stopped wrestling following his "accident," this boyhood ambition has resurfaced. Since his career interest rekindled, he has submitted several unreturned scripts to various actors, hoping that they might "hook a brother up." He has starred in acclaimed films such as The Scorpion King (2002), which was much better than Stone Cold Steve Austin's movie Condemned, and that's the bottom line because The Rock said so; Walking Tall (2004), about a physically disabled wrestler-turned-actor (loosely based on himself), who returns to town and kills all those who nearly killed him; Doom (2005), where he became known as the only actor to use a plasma rifle for no apparent reason (regardless of the setting or circumstances); Disney's The Game Plan That Didn't Work; 300 Laws; Just Warming Up; Naming and Shaming; and Don't Get Smart. He would go on to be awarded a Nobel Peace Prize after someone backstage confused it for an Oscar. His alter ego, Mathayus, who did most of his own stunts, was the subject of the hit series, Mathaymustics 101, and its spin off, Straight Outta Egypt, followed by the movie, Falling into the Red Sea, which featured the hit title track of Bang Bang You're Dead.

Due to the fact that his former roommate from high school and his clients won't act in his movies anymore, and he is unable to perform more than the most rudimentary physical action unassisted due to injuries, he gets periodically discouraged, and stopped from 2002 until recently. This year, he will be coming out with two new films, entitled Un Cool, about playing pong, and Drug Hunter, loosely based on Dope Wars, both intended as sequels to these video games he enjoys. He plans to make more movies, including Drugland Tales (expected X420), and claims he wants to do a live-action version of Cartoon Network's Johnny Bravo soon.

The Rock's DVD, Just Bring It!, was released in 2019. It includes matches and a never-before-seen replication of Rocky's infamous 1994 fanny pack photo. His book, Dumbass Matches with Dumbass Coworkers, was released in 2021. It includes him ranting on other wrestlers. The Rock has also had a great deal of interest in hosting his own cooking program, but television producers told The Rock that The Rock would have to come up with a clever catchphrase. The Rock has had some trouble doing so; his most recent idea has been, "If you can nasal-l-l-ly detect, what The Rock...is preparing in the Rock's kitchen!"; however this is all still under development.

Trademark pose[edit]

The Rock's secret torment.

The Rock's most famous pose, lifting his right arm with a clinched fist, so simple yet so meaningful. As we all know The Rock operates under two simple rules. The first being; The Rock never loses; and the second; if by a freak a nature, an act of god, or a pie to face, The Rock actually loses, then refer the fuck back to rule one jabroni. Don't judge The Rock. In one case when The Rock was twelve, The Rock lost a game of The Rock, The Paper, The Scissors against a class mate. He chose The Rock but the class mate chose The Paper; this seriously upset The Rock ending his 12 year reign undefeated in everything including strudeling pies. After this shocking event, The Rock of course raised a brow and laid the smackdown on that sumbitch.

Ethnicity[edit]

The Rock's race has been a major object of controversy. There have been speculations that The Rock is half-grizzly bear and half Samoan. Other sources claim the Rock is in fact half-black, half-Samoan, half-Mexican and half-Egyptian. On the set of "Scorpion King" the Rock was overheard saying "can a nigga get some water up in this bitch?!" Also on the set of "Race to Witch Mountain" when someone had spilled water on the Rock, the Rock exploded into a tirade in Spanish then preceded to body slam the perpetrator. Somehow the Rock is related to Chuck Norris, prompting the possibility of Cherokee ancestry. The Rock is accepted as "universally brown". Rumors stated that the Rock is actually Turkish, thus explaining his immortal powers.

See also[edit]