Rubbermaid
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WARNING!!! |
| This article loves your mom, and your mom loves it back. |
“ Finally! A jumpsuit that fits me! ”
Rubbermaid (not to be mistaken with Made of Rubber) is a brand of hefty-size condoms created for Africans. The idea was first thought of when the wrestler-turned-actor-turned-pornstar Dwayne "the Cock" Johnson came out with his first porn flick, " If Ya Suck What the Cock is Becoming" and " Growing Tall ." It was created to compete against the Red Hot Chili Peppers' brand of condoms, Cocks in Socks, and Justin Timberlake's brand of condoms, Dick in a Box.
History[edit]
In 2145, Rubber Johnson and his friend Johnson Maid were sitting in an abandoned water slide smoking pot after they watched Dwayne Johnson's movies and thought of an idea to make a company called Rubbermaid. Since Rubber loved rubber and condoms he said "We will make a company devoted to making rubber and condoms. Plus, I hate the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Justin Timberlake" However, Johnson retaliated saying "Trojan does that already! We should make a company that makes maids to clean houses." Then they combined their ideas and decided to make rubber condom maids (or maids made out of condoms). In 3198, their first prototype was invented. Right away, Johnson said "Hey! clean my house you stupid rubber bitch, or I'll find a way to give you a third black eye!" Little did they know, the rubber maids had minds for themselves, and started a war, which they called "iRubber"
The War[edit]
iRubber started in 3142, and EA is currently making their new game, Battlefield: 3142. Anyway, iRubber started as the result of abuse by Rubber and Johnson to their newly made inventions called the "Rubbermaids". These rubber condom maids were designed to clean houses and clean penises and vagina's and stuff like that. The US military won the short battle, all they did was have sex with the Rubbermaids, who failed to withstand the mojo of the military which was led by Austin Powers and Oscar Wilde.
Rubbermaid Now[edit]
Rubbermaid is now a condom and trash bin company under the ownership of Dane Cook They have many stores across the country. The most notable store is in Little Town, New Jersey, where there is a museum dedicated to tell the history of Rubbermaid.
The New Line of Rubber(pretend this is a trademark symbol) Products[edit]
Due to the success of Rubbermaid, a new line of Rubber proucts have been released. They no longer have RubberMaids, they now have Rubberhookers, and the Condom/Trash Bag, featured in Vogue Magazine.
Rubberhooker[edit]
Have sex with this bitch, it doesn't matter if your transmit diseases or not, because she's all protection! Comes it all sorts of varieties: Asian, Black, White, Midget, Fat, Ugly, Handicapped, Gay guy, Shemale, or a combination of both genders if you really are fucked up.
The Rubbermaid Condom/ Trash Bag[edit]
“ How does this piece of technology work? ”
“ Now I have something to throw my trash in after having sex! ”
It's a condom AND a trash bag! It doesn't get simpler than this!