Gilad Pellaeon
Gilad Pellaeon (also known as Commander Coward, and Der Taschmeister) is a really old Imperial Admiral from Star Wars, whose main characteristics are: a cool moustache, taking abuse from his superiors, and fleeing battles.
Biography[edit]
Pellaeon was born in Burkina Faso in 57 BBY. At a young age he joined the Republic Army and shot up droids for a few years. After Emperor Palpatine eliminated the Jedi, Pellaeon stayed loyal to the Imperial Navy. Nothing much happened for a while until the Battle of Endor, where Pellaeon learned his signature tactic: retreat when your superior dies, or fail miserably. After the Emperor got blown into a billion tiny pieces by a leftist terrorist organization, Pellaeon, now in command of a Star Destroyer, ordered the Imperial Fleet to flee — despite a 10,000 to 1 advantage over the Rebels. Surprisingly, the other moronic Imperial Captains obeyed him.
Eventually, Pellaeon found himself serving under Grand Admiral Thrawn, who finally returned from his vacation on the planet Pyongyang. Thrawn gathered his forces and tried to crush the leftist terrorists who had now formed the GUSSR (Galactic Union of Soviet Socialist Republics), led by Luke Skywalker. Shortly thereafter, Pellaeon ended up serving under Admiral Daala. Unfortunately, she was about as competent as a feces-throwing monkey and resigned in disgrace. The only thing of note that happened during this time was Pellaeon getting promoted to Vice Admiral, for boinking Daala several times.
After Daala's resignation, Pellaeon promoted himself to Fleet Admiral, and made himself Supreme Commander of what was left of the Imperial Fleet. Since this consisted of a couple of rickety space barges, and Grand Admiral Thrawn's old pleasure yacht of Hedonism, Pellaeon decided to surrender to the GUSSR.
Pellaeon spent the next ten years in the Gulag. He was released when Borsk Gorbechev decided to institute Glasnost and Perestroika. Pellaeon then rallied several angry strike fleets of the GUSSR fleet to his banner, and promoted himself to Grand Admiral. The last time he was seen, he was drunk on vodka and appealing to the people to support his military coup against the tyrannical Gorby.
Appearances[edit]
In Disney Star Wars, Pellaeon first appeared in the Star Wars Rebels season four finale as a disembodied voice. In the prequel to that episode, the novel Thrawn: Treason, Pellaeon joins the Chimaera to help arrest Grand Admiral Savit for his treasonous behaviour (and to also explain why he was even with Thrawn in Rebels to begin with). In the third season of The Mandalorian, Captain Pellaeon makes his third canon appearance, this time in live-action, and now with a body to put the voice to — albeit in a hologram — only to name drop Grand Admiral Thrawn to set up the Ahsoka series.
In Rebels, Pellaeon was voiced by Space Pirate Winnie the Pooh. Whereas in The Mandalorian, he was portrayed by Gregory (not the Clone Commando from The Clone Wars, The Bad Batch and Rebels — minus the 'y'), who joined the Empire after he was left hanging in season nine of The Walking Dead, when Rebel General Maggie Rhee didn't like his chicken coup attempt.
In 2024, Pellaeon shows up for two scenes in Tales of the Empire, where he helps to set up the Ahsoka series, even though this came out afterwards, but is set before.
Trivia[edit]
- Pellaeon, as of the coup attempt, is approximately 197 years old.
- Pellaeon once took a dump in the urinal of Thrawn's pleasure yacht of Hedonism. He ordered his abused underling, Ensign Expendable to clean it up.
- When Pellaeon surrendered to the GUSSR, he was tortured by being forced to watch every single episode of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine consecutively. Some say he never quite recovered from the experience.
- Pallaeon has a long standing rivalry with Lando Calrissian and Biggs Darklighter over who has the most awesome 'tache in the franchise.
| |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
