UnScripts:Star Wars: The Musical

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Star Wars: The Musical
Star Wars japanese logo.png
Wow, an actual Space Opera this time!
Directed by Trevor Moore
Written by Trevor Moore
Starring Luke Skywalker
Leia Organa
Han Solo
Darth Vader
Running time 2 hours
Language English

Star Wars: The Musical is a 2014 American musical-drama-comedy written and directed by Trevor Moore. It is set in the Star Wars universe, but is now considered "non-canon" by Disney. It stars most of the characters from the Original Trilogy along with a few cameos from characters in the Prequels.


In 2013, comedian and writer Trevor Moore came up with the idea of a Star Wars musical when Disney first began working on a deal with George Lucas to buy Lucasfilm and Star Wars. Moore stated that if "Disney buys Star Wars, then they are probably going to make it into a musical also". Because of this, Trevor wanted to make it before Mickey Mouse could.


Trevor Moore started the audition process on April 6th. Most notably, Elton John auditioned for the roles of Darth Vader, Chewbacca, and Yoda. These audition tapes were later leaked on YouTube by Will Ferrell.


Act I[edit]


The first act opens on a wide shot of a Star Destroyer floating in space. The camera pans around the large ship, weaving between TIE Fighters and X-Wings as they try to blow each other up. The camera finally gets to the bridge of the ship where we see the evil Sith Lord Darth Vader looking out through the glass, watching the battle unfold. As Vader's heavy breathing becomes more chilling per second, he faces the camera, and starts his very own musical number...

Sit down, shut up!

I'll tell ya how it is.

My name is Darth Vader,

And I'm mad at all my kids!

The Death Star is a mess,

We're open to attack!

And now I've got the Emperor, who's breathing down my back...


Chewbacca is seen sitting inside his treehouse on Kashyyyk, watching television when a recruitment ad for the Rebel Alliance comes on. He then reflects on his time fighting and battling in and during the Clone War, fighting the Galactic Empire, and being a smuggler with Han Solo. Upon having vivid flashbacks and PTSD, Chewy comes to the conclusion that he now wants to be a pacifist. He then starts to explain himself to the viewer in his song...

I'm Chewbacca,

And I don't want to talk about fighting anymore.

All the yada yada, by Yoda and Skywalker,

To me is such a bore!

I'm Chewbacca,

And I just want to talk about:

Peace and Love and Han!

You can give this little Wookie,

a little bit of nookie!

...And maybe invite a friend?


Act II[edit]


It is revealed that Luke and Leia must recieve a special object from an old friend of their mother, who turns out to be Jar-Jar Binks. However, before Luke and Leia get to Jar-Jar, the audience must first see what he has been up to since the Prequels.


Just imagine Jar-Jar with a beard. That's what he looks like now.

The camera pans down on Naboo and rests on a little hut near the muddy waters leading to Otoh Gunga. Inside, we learn that Jar-Jar is now a married Gungan — to his beautiful Gungan wife; Ma-Ja Binks. The two are talking which starts off civil, but within seconds, the two then start to get into some marital problems where a secret is revealed to Jar-Jar...

Yousa so sick of this crunching. Yousa relationship is poo-doo. Yousa have beena different to Jar-Jar ever since yousa hada missa-carriage!
It wasn't a missa-carriage, it wasa missa-bortion!
Yousa hada missa-bortion? And yousa didn't tell Jar-Jar?! Yousa kill my kid? Lifea starts at conception! You gunna-brat!

Jar-Jar then slaps Ma-Ja across the face. Ma-Ja quickly calls the Naboo Police. Two officers swiftly arrive, and they arrest Jar-Jar for domestic assault.

Act III[edit]


Now set after the events of Return of the Jedi, Luke returns to Dagobah. He then brings Jedi Master Yoda back to life with his new Force powers known as 'plot convenience'. However, this backfires, since due to the passing of time, all of Yoda's swamp friends have died. Because of this, Yoda becomes very depressed and wants to kill himself. The little green midget begins to write his suicide note in the form of a song...

By the time, read this, you do

dead, I will be.

To go on, the point, cannot I see.

Such sweet release,

really be to die.

Aspirins two-hundred, taken, have I.

Hurts, everybody does.

Friends good, everybody was...

Forgive, what me do

bye-good, world, cruel.


The reception to the musical was mostly negative. So negative, in fact, that all copies of it were destroyed. Because of this, most Star Wars fans or even people who just like musicals, don't even know that Star Wars: The Musical even exists.

To Trevor Moore, he acted like the whole musicial never happened to begin with. Denying its very existence until the day he died. Disney have also buried all mention of the musical, and refuses to add it to Disney+.


A sequel was written and in pre-production in 2020, and was set for a release date in either late 2022 or early 2023. It was titled Star Wars: The Musical: The Sequel, and was also written and going to be directed by Trevor Moore again. Unfortunately on August 7th, 2021, Trevor was killed in a car crash, making any future plans for the sequel die with him.