Babel:W2
August 14: Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day (Saudi Arabia & Jacksonville, FL)
- A long time ago - Emperor Ovaltine consolidates his power in the Galactic Empire. When he hears about it, Mace Window is shocked.
- 1844 BCE - Toast is invented.
- 1855 BCE - Following the War of a Thousand Toasters, the recipe for toast is lost for over 3000 years.
- 1880 - Cologne Cathedral in Germany, is completed. It smells great!
- 1923 - Start of the Dotcom Era.
- 1987 - A young explorer named Wally ("Waldo" in the Americas) is reported missing.
- 2001 - George W. Bush is "elected" by his daddy's friends to be president of the United States.
- 2005 - Ego is discovered to be, in fact, a dirty word. Eggo remains as a frozen waffle.
- 2006 - Horizontal line is discovered in your pants.
- 2007 - Vertical line is discovered in the inside of your pants.
- 2007 - Hitler is finally mentioned in Brutal Dictator Appreciation Day. Took long enough.
- 2008 - The first "sort of" black dictator is introduced into the history of the US. People take to the streets with high hopes of a kinder, gentler dictator.
- 2009 - Nut and penis implants are invented.
- 2010 - Nut and penis implants found to cause cancer. Some 1.3 million white gangstas are affected.
- 2012 - Dick Cheney dies because his cold blackened void of a heart fails. The world is finally safe.
- Hegseth orders attack on the Moon (pictured)
Andy Burnham (pictured) | House of Merovingian | Arthur Currie | Full house | Alexander the Not So Great | Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem |
August 14, 2026
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Alexander IV
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Alexander the Great was an act that was hard to follow. His empire stretched from Greece to India and as far south as Egypt. For his only male heir — Alexander IV of Macedonia — it would prove impossible to follow. Hence his sobriquet Alexander the Not So Great.
Alexander IV was a weak echo of his father, like Caesarion the son of Julius Caesar, Napoleon II heir of Napoleon I, and various Kennedys, Bushes, and Clintons of United States politics.
Alexander IV arrived in this world a few months after the death of his father in 323 BC. His mother was the fiery Roxane from Bactria on the Persian frontier, a wild land of two-humped camels and savage inter-tribal wars. Roxane was a warrior princess who was disgusted that her father had her married off to some swarthy, Greek-speaking foreigner. So much did she loathe her spouse that she tried to murder him on their wedding night — at least according to Oliver Stone's film about the Macedonian bleached-blond beach bum. After that bumpy start, the couple managed to avoid killing each other, at least until they produced a male heir. (more...)
Previously featured article – Arthur Currie
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General Sir Arthur William Currie, GCMB, KCB, KGB, was a Canadian Senior officer during World War I. A prolific commander of the Canadian Expeditionary Force, Currie is among the finest Western front commanders in the war and one of the greatest Canadian officers. However, he is more internationally renowned for his world-class embezzlement; also for his hyper-sensitivity regarding his public image. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
August 14, 2026
- ... when your grandma said, "You gruesome", you misunderstood and proudly stood up as tall as you could?
- ... Ven de Moon is full, Lahry Talbot becomes a Vere Volf?
- ... when your grandma said, "You gruesome", you misunderstood and proudly stood up as tall as you could?
- ... Ven de Moon is full, Lahry Talbot becomes a Vere Volf?
- ... when your grandma said, "You gruesome", you misunderstood and proudly stood up as tall as you could?
And some others, in case you missed them...
August 14, 2026
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
Chainsawcharge.jpg
| Chainsawcharge.jpg - 27.5 Royal Mechanised Mounted Treefellers ( 27.5 / 0 ) |
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 Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war. Image credit: Asahatter |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
August 14, 2026
Congratulations for August's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
HEIL FROSTY!
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