Babel:W2
- 2349 BCE - The proto-badger, a distant relative of the weasel, goes extinct when Noah tosses the only surviving pair off the ark for stealing his yams.
- 942 - Weasel stomping in invented in Anglo-Saxon England.
- 1086 - The Domesday Book notes the average price of a stoat at 1 groat.
- 1490 - Leonardo da Vinci paints Lady With an Ermine, the first mustelid pre-photobombing recorded in the West.
- 1674 - Issac Newton discovers Weaselpudge. Nobody cares.
- 1754 - It is alleged by some that on this supposed day, weasel words were probably invented or perhaps created.
- 1862 - The Cheasel is invented.
- 1872 - Rudolf Weasel changes his last name to Diesel. The rest is history.
- 1881 - The Japanese Stomping Fish, which has nothing to do with weasels, is discovered.
- 1899 - Pop Goes the Weasel is licensed for every jack-in-the-box toy. Small children drive their parents insane playing the tune, leading to the Second Boer War.
- 1930 - Nazis adopt the Horst-Weasel song as their anthem.
- 1937 - The Spleen weasel is discovered in Paris, France, without rioting for a welcome change.
- 1938 - The Disney film Snow White is released in Europe with the song Weasel While You Work. Parisians take it personally and rioting ensues during the intermission.
- 1940 - John Lennon is born, and promptly marries a weasel.
- 1961 - Ferret racing is invented in Australia. It is not held where you think it might.
- 2007 - A woman gives birth to a weasel. This will grow up to be the Antiweasel, signalling the end of the world. People will be forced to carry the mark of the Beast on their foreheads, which will be a weasel word, theoretically.
Dubnium | Hebe | Carbon tetrachloride | Tetrachloroethylene | Northrop B-2 Spirit | Blue Fairies (pictured) | People's Action Party (Singapore) | Woof | John Mahama | Vivek Ramaswamy | Norse Korea | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism
October 9, 2025
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Minotaur
The Minotaur was a half-human, half-bull creature in Greek mythology. Rather than a domestic cow, the bovine parent was an auroch, now extinct, as opposed to an auror, which is hoped to be extinct. The tale is probably a manifestation of man’s historic fascination with cow sex. The odd combination of species stands as proof of Creationism, though not by the usual expected deity.
The monster's given name was Asterix, suggested by some visiting Celts from Gaul.
The beast is typically described in painting and sculpture as having a human body and a bull's head. Some writers have described him the other way around. Considering the combinations possible, it is a wonder that the Minotaur didn't end up as an amalgamation of two different butts.
Experts in Greek mythology suspect that if the Minotaur were born female, then the Borden's company would have adopted its mascot and symbol much, much earlier. The storyline would also then have been much different. Historians agree that the tale would have ended up as some sort of lesbian fanfic, which is within the canon of the soap opera that is Greek mythology. (more...)
Previously featured article – The Witcher
The Witcher is a short story series/fantasy book saga/role-playing game/Netflix television show. It is set a time period of Medieval knights, monsters, fantastical beings and a lot of magic. If you can imagine a mix of Conan the Barbarian, Game of Thrones and the legends of King Arthur then you will be getting close to what this series is about. Think also of Monty Python and the Holy Grail and a dash of Harry Potter then you would have the formula. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
October 9, 2025
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
- ... that walking in the air will not make you fly in the moonlit sky?
- ... that apparently, this Charles Norris fellow is quite the ruffian?
And some others, in case you missed them...
October 9, 2025
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
Backofhead.png
Backofhead.png - 20.5 Danish cities nuked ( 24 / 3.5 ) |
---|
Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head. Image credit: Modusoperandi |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
October 9, 2025
Congratulations for October's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners