Babel:W2
December 22: Female Awareness Day
- 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
- 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice.
- 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin.
- 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
- 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
- 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again.
- 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator.
- 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
- 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years.
- 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear.
- 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded.
- 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock.
- 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
- 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
- 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.
- Elon Musk prepares for world government (pictured)
Norse Korea (pictured) | Michael VI | Factorial | Bunsen burner | Queue | Odysseus | Mutually exclusive events | Calcium | Kristi Noem | Anti-Zionism | Kevin McCarthy | Mike Johnson | House of Bourbon | Akaa, Finland | Nikki Haley | Menelaus | Ajax | Air Canada | Agamemnon | Great Schism | UnTunes:I'm Just Ten | Taylor Swift | Praey for the gods | Henry Kissinger
December 22, 2024
Okay guys, today you get the usual bidaily update of the featured article. Here comes the synopsis!
Today's featured article – Bunsen burner
|
A Bunsen burner is a flamethrower that has been bent so the nozzle faces upward. It is noticeably lighter than a military flamethrower. Bunsen burners are primarily gas-powered, with the exception of the Tesla coil. Bunsen burners are the weapon of choice in high-school chemistry labs.
According to the historian Marty McFly, the predecessor to the modern Bunsen burner was invented by Jacques de Vaucanson, the inventor of good automatons. Vaucanson integrated it into many of his foldable automatons, making him the inventor of Transformers. It was spread throughout Europe and Asia through contamination. Eventually, word died out and the original designs were lost. (more...)
Previously featured article – Woolly mammoth
|
The Woolly mammoth (a species of the genus Mammuthus) was a large shaggy beast that is a bit woollier than the Not-so-woolly Mammoth, and much woollier than the less common, Bald Mammoth, otherwise known as African and Indian elephants. (more...)
As usual, you can vote for the featured article at Uncyclopedia 2.0:VFH, and don't forget to visit the archive! Rc out.
December 22, 2024
- ... the answer to this question?
And some others, in case you missed them...
December 22, 2024
One more image added to the collection. The list rotates randomly, so try reloading the page to see others...
Potted pot bonsai.png
| Potted pot bonsai.png - 11 pots ( 11 / 0 ) |
|---|
 Even the plants are weird in Japan. This particular pot plant features multiple smaller pot plants in carefully crafted pots created specifically for the occasion. Or in the words of the artist, "I got stoned and spent three days trimming my pot plant. Now I'm gonna smoke it." Image credit: Lyrithya and some stoned guys |
Or if you're so impatient, see Template 2.0:FI/all for all currently featured images. This creap of the crop may be less AJAXy than Flickr, but way less crappy.
December 22, 2024
Congratulations for December's Writer and Noob of the Month!
Seriously, we love you.
Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!
HEIL FROSTY!
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners