Worst 100 Spinoffs of All Time

“Intrade lets investors buy shares in political candidates”

~ Unrelated Quotes Guy on this list

What Makes a bad Spinoff?

Before we can begin to identify the worst 100 spinoffs of all time, we need to first define what a bad spinoff is. Unlike original shows and movies, spinoffs do not need to pay attention to established facts and are free to introduce as much contradictory material as possible. Regular appearances by established characters from the original show or movie, are optional.

The List

According to God's True Word, the following are the worst 100* Spinoffs ever made. Readers are required to have their sporks to hand.

* God does not care to count this list too closely, and believers are wise not to criticise divine numeration policy.

RoboPlod went straight to DVD

102. The Art of War by Bombad General Jar Jar Binks

Jar Jar shares his tactical genius in his strategy masterpiece. Lessons include 'Hows to marchens on der Moscow' and 'fightins der landen wars in da Asia'. Jar Jar also shares some great battle tips such as: being a complete hinderence to your side, hidding under carts, performing some slapstick to please any kids who might be watching and relying on everyone else to save you if things go wrong.

101. HAL 9000 in Love

(Movie, International, 2000) A prequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey, this international epic shows HAL 9000's exploits in love, including a filthy, barely-legal unsimulated file-share with GLaDOS. You can't make this stuff up.

100. Roboplod

(Movie, UK, 2002) In an attempt to reinvigorate the Robocop franchise, Hollywood sold the movie rights to the United Kingdom, who went on to create a mediocre series of films based in the same sci-fi universe, but with a cyborg, British bobby on the beat.

99. Stargate — Gemini

(Series, USA, 2005) After the success of the Stargate: Atlantis became apparent, the producers wanted more, and SGG was soon born. Ostensibly about sending people to the Gemini constellation, in fact all the actors and actresses were identical twins born early in June. The series was canned straight after the pilot, which saw a release to Betamax for the hardcore SG fans.

98. Beverly Hills 90210

(Series, USA, 1990) Spin off series from the classic 1960's documentary show the Beverly Hillbillies, the show centered on Jethro Bodine and his nubile sister, in a Hollywood School for Retired Actors.

97. Lost, in Space

(Series, USA, 2005) Conjoining the "worlds" of Friends and Lost may have seemed a good idea. Matt le Blanc "stars".

96. The Land After Time

(Movie, USA, 2001) The popular dinosaur movie reimagined in a post-apocalyptic setting. Unlike its parent series, received only a few million sequels.

95. Star Trek - Proctologist

(Series, USA, 2005) Rick Berman thought and thought for hours on a totally new plot line that had not been used in Star Trek before and to revitalize the dying franchise, his final idea, rip off a crappy medical TV show. The pilot was made centered around a group of recent Star Fleet Medical graduates finding their way "inside" the federation. The pilot had a special guest star John DeLanci as "Q" getting his first "finger" as he approaches an age of 50 (thousand).

94. CSI - Ballamory

(Series, USA, 2005) The CSI team are called in to try and solve the crime involving the disappearance of Jody Jump's bike!

93. The West Wing XLIII

(Series, NBC, 2001-2009) The West Wing promised to follow the behind the scenes action in administration of one George W. Bush, reformed drinker and ex-coke drinker, who becomes President of United States with a little help from his friends in "high" places. Improbable story lines include a ludicrous one in which the President is allowed to start a war as a diversion for usurping the United States Constitution. Supporting roles are given to actors lacking visual appeal including Karl Rove (former emcee of NBC’s the Fear Factor ) and former self-help guru Dick Cheney, who is best remembered for his lack-luster hosting of Fox Network’s short-lived game show Go Fuck Yourself . In 2005, Harriet Miers (best known as Lilly Munster in the thriller The Munsters: Eternal Life on Mockingbird Lane ) joined the cast for a special guest appearance in three episodes playing a zombie nominated for the Supreme Court, as if that would ever happen. The show was originally designed as a starring role of Michael Brown, as FEMA Director, however as the series matured, it was decided that Brown would resign after taking the blame for everything wrong in the administration. Internationally panned by critics who see the show as nothing more than raiding the national treasury for personal gain, The West Wing XLIII is scheduled to end its eight year run in January, 2009 with the premire of The West Wing "XLIV" .

92. Joey

(Series, NBC, 2004- ) Joey was a starring role spin-off show for actor Joey Buttafuoco, a member of the long running hit comedy Associates . The premise for Joey was to transplant the affable character from Long Island to Hollywood and follow his attempts at gaining stardom. In 2005, the show was overhauled and additional cast members were added in hopes of aiding the show's lackluster ratings, which continue to drop.

91. Law and Order, LVU

(Series, 1996- ) Law and Order LVU (Liberal Victims Unit) is franchise of the highly profitable Law and Order division of NBC. The series stars Dr. James Dobson (as Dr. James Dobson) and Ann Coulter as his smart but shrill assisitant. The show also features special appearances by Karl Rove. Set in Washington DC, Law and Order LVU differs from other Law and Order series in that its characters don't work to solve crimes; instead, the series follows members of the Conservative and Christian political machine as they work to discredit liberal Americans through the production of conservative leaning propaganda and the redefinition of English language. In the past, such activities would have been considered Un-American, however in the current political environment; however in the America of the late 20th and early 21st century the character assassination of innocent Liberals is considered God's Work.

90. His name is Robert Paulson!

(Series, 2000-2001) After miraculously surviving a bullet to the head and the subsequent removal of most of his brain tissue, this minor character from the film "Fight Club" buys himself a bar in Wisconsin and interacts hilariously with all sorts of n'eer do wells.

89. Nobody Wins

(Series, 1997-1999) Nobody, Robert Blake's Indian guide in Dead Man, makes his way to Las Vegas where he begins a chain of Indian Casinos.

88. Law and Order, SSVU

(Series, 1999- ) Law and Order Special Smurf Victims Unit takes viewers into the “Blue” side of the Smurf lifestyle, starring Mariska Hargerty as Detective Chesty Smurf and Chris Meloni As Detective Stud Smurf. The show raised the ire of the Children’s Television Workshop when Pappa Smurf was caught selling The Smurflings to child pornographers into order to support his magic mushroom habit. As a result each episode features a warning at the beginning of week stating that the content may not be suitable for Belgian’s under the age ten.

87. The John Madden Show

(Series, 2005- ) Popular Monday Night Football regular character John Madden goes on his bus across the country, attempting to help people in sticky situations. Always at his side is former recurring character Brett Favre as Billy, Madden's no-nonsense sidekick, and Valerie Bertinelli as Rita, the waitress in the on-bus Outback: Steakhouse.

The cast of the sitcom Love That Hillary starring Carson Kressley as Senator Hillary Clinton

86. Love That Hillary!

(Series, C-SPAN 2000 - ) What happens when the soon-to-be former First Lady of the United States (Carson Kressley as you've never seen him before) decides to strike out on her own and run for the Senate? "Hillarity", of course! Supported by a cooky and zany office staff lead by James Carvel and Charlotte Ray, Hillary starts each day off hoping for a little peace and quiet so she can tend to the needs of the little people of New York state. But just as sure as you can say "vast right-wing conspiracy", she's gets caught up in one wacky situation after another. Also starring Jim Belushi as her out of work husband Bill, Vivica A. Fox as her long-suffering best friend Ruth Bader-Ginsburg and Elaine Stritch as Hillary's arch enemy, Ann Coulter. Love That Hillary! airs nightly on C-Span during the special orders hour.

Pubilicty shot of Robert Bork and Björk dressed by Bob Macky as Sonny and Cher during the premire of their ill-fated variety hour, B(j)orks, Live at RFK Stadium. Björk was so upset she left the show in her space ship and hasn't heard from since.

85. B(j)orks, Live at RFK Stadium

(Variety Show, Fox June 4, 1995 - June 5, 1995) In concept, Fox Television believed that it had a winner when it teamed pop singing sensation Björk up with Constitutional Conservitive Jurist Robert Bork in a Sonny and Cherlike genre variety show. But no one ever told the stars, who were at a loss to know what to do one they took the stage, and the show was cancelled the following day by Rupert Murdoch. Special guests for the first (and only show) included the comedy of Rita Rudner, and a special musical appearance by Steve Lawrence and Courtney Love singing old standards with a zesty twist. Judge Bork's costumes by Bob Macky; Ms. Björk's attire by FAO Swartz. The June Taylor Dancers were also scheduled to appear as regulars.

84. Best Second Ever

(Series, VH1 June 9, 2005 5:04:35 - ) Spin-off of VH1's instant nostalgia-fest Best Week Ever. Watch as comedians you have never heard of (including the guy who was in that Real Real World thing from Chapelle's Show, or that girl who you've never seen before but think is totally cute) talk about the previous second. Will they continue to talk about their massive Passions fetish? Will the previous second be the best ever for Billy Ray Cyrus? Will you even care?

83. After MASH

(Series, CBS, 1983) Fearing that Jamie Farr and Harry Morgan would end up unemployed and on the street, CBS tried building a show around the two supporting actors from the over-hyped MASH which ended its run at the end of the 1982-83 program year. Mercifully, After MASH was DOA upon arrival; Morgan and Farr have been performing nightly as two Korean War veterans turned panhandlers just outside Mann's Chinese Theatre to annoyed reviews.

82. Law and Order, Gilligan’s Island

(NBC 2005) in hopes of rejuvenating its sagging line-up and network viewers in general NBC launched Law and Order, Gilligan’s Island during its Friday night block of crime shows. Had the Millionaire and his Wife, and the Skipper too, still been living at the time this project went into production there may have been a chance of the series reaching at least five episodes. However their pre-production deaths along with Gilligan’s death during the filming of the first episode essentially shut the production down. “How can you sustain the tension of conflict’s impending resolution if Mary Ann and I are constantly hounding Ginger about the island?” posed the Professor. “Besides, who was going to peddle the bamboo bicycle generator to produce the electricity needed for videotaping each scene?”

81. Everbody Has a General Malaise Toward Tony Danza!

(NBC 2005) Noting the success of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and "Everybody Hates Chris", NBC execs came up with a new celebrity audiences can feel a kind-of emotion toward. "Audiences will spend hours conjuring up laughs out of pity because of Tony Danza's once useful career!" said Maxim reviewer Gil Schnepp. Tony Danza plays a nervous, washed-up actor who gets into all sorts of crazy, awkward social situations. And when you get him and his angry, vocal, pill-popping agent in the same room together, hold onto your sides! Because you'll feel a slight intestinal discomfort not unlike heartburn at the lackluster performance of an end-of-the-line Danza.

80. The Gary Coleman and Ted Danson's Super Happy Fun Time Weekend Hour!

(Fox 2006) Every weekend Gary Coleman and Ted Danson have famous guests to talk to every week. They also do a new Hip Hop dance every week and make jokes through songs. The show is much like The Tonight Show, the only difference is this show will only last 4 weeks if lucky.

79. Survivor - International Space Station

(CBS 2006) The Americans got fed up with the Russians constantly bringing "space tourists" around the International Space Station, so they decided to bring an entire reality TV show up there to piss them off.

78. Record of Photos War

(Fox 2009) On the island of Photos, a party of heroes, led by "Picture of people kissing from World War II" take on the evil Sorceror of "Retouched picture of Spiro Agnew". Hillarity ensues.

77. My Big Fat Jewish Wife

(C-BS 2003) Following the box-office success of Lanie Kazan's 2001 comedy, My Big Fat Jewish Wedding, C-BS attempted to translate the comedy of the movie into a 30 min. show, which lasted three episodes before being cancelled by network officials who were heard saying Nist gishtroygen und nist gafloigen! (translated: it didn't climb up on the cross, and it didn't fly to heaven) The final unaired episode entitled No Brisket for the Bris was never aired.

76. Kinda Friends - a Indirect Spinoff attempted by The extras on the original Hit TV Show!.

75. Found

(Series 2006-2007) The final twist in 'Lost' is revealed, as the characters find a whole box of blue pills directly from the Matrix, and realise that There Is No Spoon. The fat one wonders how on earth he is going to eat his pudding now. Cliffhanger ending with additional drumroll. Also, in an alternate storyline which the fifteen hour special also follows, the directors struggle with copyright issues, before committing suicide, realising the pointlessness of existance.

74. Harry Potter And The Drug Fueled Muggings Of Birmingham

(Book, Movie And Every Piece Of Merchandise Crap Under The Sun) Really, tells it too much like it is.

73. Fox Childrens News

Fair & Balanced news for under 16's, with the option to join the Fox Youth, and hold parades & candle lit marches in your home town, with coverage by Fox News. The brown uniforms, banners etc should also raise $1000's.

72. The Pimpsons

(Fox 2007) Homer Simpson finally gets a new job as a Pimp, forcing Marge to become his pimpette and Bart, Lisa, and Maggie to be their pimperinos. Regular guest stars include Britney Spears and Bill Clinton.

71. The Seinfeld Murder Mystery Files

(NBC 2007) On a cross country comedy tour Jerry and his manager Kramer keep coming across mysteries that only there wacky antics and attention to pointless minutia of every day life can solve . First episode "What's the deal with somone drowning the Soup Nazi in soup" will be aired as two part made for tv movie thie july.

70. Bill-bert

A bad spoof of Dilbert, Bill-bert is a college drop-out from New Jersey who landed a job in painting billboards.

69

Spirited back: Miyazaki's anime classic "Spirited away" was considered so great that fans were raving or another one. But this time, they weren't so lucky. "Spirited Back" follows Chihiro back to the Spirit world, this time after staying in a hotel, someone steals a jewel from a samurai. Chihiro being a main witness, she has to follow his tracks all the way the the Shogun's palace in Edo to solve the mystery before the gu who stole it gives it away to a shrine.

68. CSI Duluth

67. Pi Factor

(SCIFI 2009) In the midst of the supernatural, the Office of Scientific Investigation and Reseach deploys an elite group of investigators to get to the bottom of the most frequent and unexplanable phenomena: Pi. In its many forms and its unending mysteries and its ever more incarnations. These special scientist will leave no rock unturned, no pie untouched. From white to brown, from green to black, from cowpies to pie-in-the-face, they will continue with vigilance to discover the true nature of Pi and defend the world from its evil.

66. The "New" Testament

(Motel Rooms Everywhere) Hoping to build on the blockbuster success of the Torah, a group of Jewish writers pen the confusing and melodramatic "gospels" of Jesus Christ. Original versions proved so lackluster that later editors were forced to borrow heavily from Mithra and Horus myths stealing the idea of a virgin birth, since Mithra came out of a rock (rocks are virgins) and Horus's mom had sex with a dead guy with a clay penis, add a torture scene followed by a silly resurrection, and finish it off with the quirky, apocalyptic Book of Revelations, which was plagarized from an earlier Jewish source. The result was one of the biggest sellers ever. The public. Go figure.

65. Sinefield Bunch

(Fox XXX) A clueless family of complex curves doing absolutely nothing over and over again. They are SO stupid.

64. Zombie Mercenary

(Danny Phantom spin-off) This story begins after the final season of Danny Phantom where a mercenary girl named Amy has faked her death and ran away after being chased by ghosts and creating dangerous bio-weapons. The first episode begins where Danny realizes she was a zombie all along, a very ironic situation, and sneaks aboard an airplane cargo bay to New Jersey as "Tony Jispeau" to start a new life. (That's when he joined the Ghostbusters.) The rest of the series follows Amy and all her antics being a mercenary, from her first career to her last.

63. Extreme Makeover - Stoned Edition

(ABC 2008) Ty and the gang are back, this time with a bunch of drugs. They attempt to build a house within 7 days while completely high on various intoxicants, while ABC executive-style twats...I mean people..laugh at their incompetence. The show climaxes with Ty shouting down the megaphone "WTF LOL OMFG HOEZ". NB: ABC DOES NOT ENDORSE ANY DRUGS, EXCEPT OSCAR WILDE

62. Irken Eye for the Dib-human Guy

(BRAVO 2008) Dib Membrane from the popular yet short-lived doccumentary series, Invader Zim is back in this new sitcom created by Jhonen Vasquez. Irken Eye for the Dib-human Guy is a direct parody of the popular show for gay guys, Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, only in Dib's situation, he is annoyed in every episode by an irken version of Queer Eye's "Fab Five" led by Invader Larb who harass Dib by telling him that he doesn't look "Irken" enough and that his clothes are "so not the latest irken fashion". At the end of each episode, Invader Larb and his flamboyant posse manage to make Dib look like an irken invader. Dib then loses his temper, pulls out 2 laser pistols, and chases Larb and the other irkens away. The end credits imediatly follow.

61. The Tomorrow Show

(NBC 2009) Only running Afro two years it was similar to the Today show except they told you what they were going to talk abou the next day but the next day in order to follow the show's premise wouldn't tell you thenew they said they were going to show you tomorrow because they had to show previews of the news they would show tomorrow but by doing that they'd have to show previews of the news that was going to be tomorrow's tomorrow news. This confused the crap out of people.

60. Meatwad's Own Variety Show!

(Adult Swim 2007) You know that meat guy from Aqua_Teen_Hunger_Force? He got his own variety show! Why? I don't know! Only had 16 episodes and the fourth episode had a cameo by Oscar Wilde as the gay cop that pulled over Meatwad, and the last episode had a cameo by Kanye West trying to steal Meatwads remote control.I personally liked the show.....

59. YTDNM (Your The Dog Now Man)

58. That's My Queen-Based upon That's My Bushim!, That's My Queen now exists in a United Kingdom-type studio.

57. Ralph Malph Loves Chachi

(ABC 1980) Not even Ted McGinley dared to lead this show to Jump the Shark! Pinky Toscadero stars as "The Gimp".

56. The Seinfeld Team

(NBC 1992) Join "Face" Seinfeld, "Hannibal" Costanza, "Murdock" Benes, and Cosmo "Kramer" Baracus Tuesday nights as this rogue band of sitcom characters takes down underworld sleazeballs while staying one step ahead of the law themselves!

55. Barrio Sesame

(PBS 1993) Hispanic audiences did not take to this "South-of-the-Border" educational program, which followed Big Bird's attempts to adjust to life in an impoverished neighborhood of Mexican muppets in Ciudad Juarez after he loses his US passport while on vacation.

54. The BBC's The Land Before Time-

Similar to it's parent series, but more realistic and more scenes of the bloody stupid dinosaurs getting disembowled by Sharptooths. The overdramatic narrator separates the gang because "contrary to popular belief, these dinosaurs never saw each other".

53. Scooby-Poo

(Cartoon Network 2007) Old cousin of Scooby-Doo trying to solve some lame-ass mystery. The only problem is, he always leave his shit everywhere.

52. Law and Order LSD

It was a sort run, but it was basically the first season of Law and Order with a twist! They were all on LSD.

51. The Horrible Life of Milhouse

(Fuckelodeon 2015) The Pickup of The Simpsons using the hated by America as much as Dib (Opinion not fact Losers) trying to survive the real world after being mocked so much. Was nominated the crappiest show ever.

50. 24-Day Off

(2005) Similar to the original series, this follows the exploits of Jack 'DAMN IT!' Bauer as he goes through his day off from CTU. Though the programme started strongly, it's said that viewers were unhappy with the last 6 hours, which consisted of Jack being asleep. The whole time.

49. Big Sister

(2004) Locking a bunch of extremely fat chicks in a house to lose weight AND filming it was not a good idea. Especially when they had a lesbian threesome. Nominated for least watched show.

48. Indiff'rent Strokes

(1983) "I don't care Wha'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

47. The Gay-Team

(1986) Solving fashion disasters everywhere, starred Mr. T - "I pretty the foo'"

46. It's Garry Shandling's Spinoff

(1990) A sitcom starring Gary Shandling as a neurotic, self-obsessed TV show host (i.e., himself), along with ex-girlfriends Jessica Harper and Jennifer Tilly, and Tom Petty as an aging, past-his-prime rock star who sang "This is the Theme to Garry's Spinoff" at the beginning of each show. Other regular guests included U.S. President Jimmy Carter, hit parade diva Joan Baez, and the entire cast of The New Leave it to Beaver.

45. The New Leave it to Beaver

(1985-1989) That goofy ol' Eddie Hascall. Thought he could make a bundle messing around with remakes of crummy 50's shows. Wally, d'ya think he'll have to pay back all the money the show lost?

- Golly, Beaver, I dunno. But I'll tell ya one thing: that Eddie would sure git it if Dad was still alive.

Spakes on a Plane (2009).

44. Four's Company

(1985) After Jack's divorce from Vicky following abysmal ratings of Three's a Crowd, former Three's Company cast Jack, Janet, Chrissy, and Terri reunited as a bigamist family in a desperate attempt to revive their careers. The three women approached John Ritter about doing a show in which he was married to them with full marital benefits and he said "OK." Joyce DeWitt originally wanted the show to be "Eight's a Cult," and to include Larry, Mr. Furley, and the Ropers, but Don Knotts became overly excited at the prospect and Suzanne Somers refused, stating that she had a "reputation to uphold."

43. The Price Has Gone Up

(2007) Come on down! Bob Barker returns for a show in which contestants guess the price of luxury items such as gas and food. Unfortunately, by the time they get to the showcase, the prices have already changed. The show was cancelled when Barker declined the network's contract offer, stating "The Price has Gone Up."

42. Mr. Rogers' Metropolis

(2002) Each episode begins with Fred Rogers getting off the subway and walking into FOX headquarters, where he takes off his sneakers and cardigan and puts on his leather jacket and hot pink pumps. He then sings, "Everyone is welcome in this neighborhood, even immigrants and sex trade workers. Especially sex trade workers." He checks his e-mail, and usually has several messages from Mr. McFeely. Rogers spends most of each episode in a world of make believe that he enters by smoking something unusual.

43. Frasier

{1993) There. Now you don't have to say "Frasier".

28. Who-Bob What-pants

(2007) Sponge Bob goes under Witness Protection and is made Mayor of New Kelp City. Cancelled after one episode and replaced by an even worse show (See iCarly)

27. iCarly

(2007) Melrose Place and Spongebob SquarePants writers combine ideas and see what happens

26. Jeopardy 2

(2010) A Game Show Where Alex actually asks the questions

21.5. 12 (The Half Assed Network)

Half the time of 24, half the stars of 24, Half the Plot of 24.

4. Planet Sheen

(2010) Sheen lands on a planet of Mental Retards, Avatars, and giant flowers

5. SpongeBob in China

(2006) All About Walmart

3.Family Guy

(2002) A spinoff from the far superior The Simpsons, this truly dreadful joke of a TV programme had it's main character Peter Griffin listed as a paedophile and included many perverted story lines such as 'Peter Griffin does something to a lamp post'.

2. Wikipedia

It's not on TV, but its still on the list.

1. Worst 100 Spinoffs of All Time

You knew this one was coming donkey kong.