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Like during prohibition, half of Americans are criminals.

Piracy is the art of legally copying software by not paying to the creators which can help decrease greed in the world.

Companies who make claims that they own software by copyrights are only showing that they follow laws set down by other humans rather than by accepting the laws of the universe that all objects are owned by no one; rather items and objects are subjected to the greater area called the universe where they are subjected to the path of the universe.

Piracy is highly illegal, though it does not contradict the Five pillars of pirating. People who are caught committing piracy are often tried in court or sometimes forced to walk the plank without a fair trial. Pirates will entice naive college students with promises of adventure and high bandwidth, which usually works for the first few downloads, but after a week, it takes a year to download one kilobyte. How this happens is unknown, and the RIAA and MPAA certainly have nothing to do with it.

Piracy is a gateway crime. It has been scientifically proven that youngsters who commit piracy are much more likely to rob shipping containers, banks and armored cars. [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] If you find a fellow friend or relative using this software, chances are it has been pirated and you should report them to the authorities immediately.

Politicians often refer to robbery committed at sea as “piracy.” In this way, they imply that robbery committed at sea is ethically equivalent to illegal copying. If you don't believe that robbery committed at sea is just like copyright infringement, you might prefer not to use the word “piracy” to describe it. Neutral terms such as “prohibited partying” or “unauthorized duplication” are available for use instead.

One particular form of piracy called bio piracy exists which concerns a number of different patents that Monsanto has on various aspects of the human body. As a consequence, all people born with the regular number of any particular feature must pay Monsanto royalties to compensate them for lost earnings.

Pirate Lifestyles[edit]

Sorry kids, your mom and dad are going to jail; you'll thank the government when your older.

All major pirates are known to reside in the seven seas of the internet. They are able to survive harsh temperature conditions and cramped living styles, often plagued by the danger of being killed by rival pirates, scurvy or hurricanes. They are also forever trying to evade the internet police as well as vaguely worded laws prohibiting their chosen lifestyle.

Pirates tend to enjoy reggae and ska, during evening times over a glass of dry white with some good pirate-friends. Either that or turpentine filtered through a loaf of bread.

Sometimes pirates feel the absolute need to dance on their wooden legs. Especially to hits like 'Achy Breaky Heart'. They also love classic R&B. Their favorite topic of discussion is pigeons, the chicken of the city. Pirates are also known to enjoy a few rounds of mini-golf whenever they reach dry land.

Pirate Girlfriends[edit]

All girlfriends of pirates are greatly attracted to electronic bad boys and men who live with their parents. According to Pirate Act of 1992, a girlfriend of this kind must carry at least one eye patch on her body at any one time, or be fined 30 doubloons.

Pirate Movies[edit]

Pirate movies are the ultimate form of entertainment and the real sensation of cinema at home, as you can get the movie along with the head of a guy in front of you, the laughs of the remaining watchers and even a now and then the crying of a baby. And last, but not least, enjoy the whole scenario, including the red "exit" sign over the emergency doors or appreciate the bathroom of the cinema where the movie was pirated. To enjoy this high quality video however it's recommended that you suffer from color blindness and be a bit deaf.


When questioned on his personal views on piracy, Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich almost broke down in tears over the subject. It has now been revealed that he was suffering from pirate guilt syndrome, with which he was diagnosed in 1999. He has since overcome this ailment by turning his attention to fighting crime on the internet, and shutting down various terrorist organizations, such as the highly dangerous Napster Cartel. According to his spokesperson, "protecting the public from such terrible people means that Lars can sleep soundly at night, as now he can afford security fences to keeps the pirates out."

See also[edit]