Lynching
Lynching is the most disgusting and absolutely amusing crime that could ever be committed to a human being.
History[edit]
Lynching was invented by a man named David Lynch, who got the idea as a way to end racism. The original concept was an inter-racial pinata game. Things were horribly misinterpreted when he drunkenly explained to his friends at the Kool Kids Klub. When done right, it is a fine theme for picnic.
Overview of a Traditional Lynching[edit]
All the white people in the town generally get together the night before, in their best ghost costumes. Then they sing fireside songs outside the black people's house. They generally bring their own fire, and for some reason on a big t shaped thingy. Hmm. Maybe it burns better if the wood is in a T? Anyways, they then invite the black people out and play game of pinata, and everyone has a picnic!
Modern Lynchings[edit]
Most modern lynchings eschew the traditional customs of the lynching, such as the insistence on white ghost costumes, or even ghost costumes. Nowadays, many lynchings take place in tie-dyed, multicolored, or non-traditional color ghost costumes, or in alternate costumes such as Power Rangers, Spider-man, or the current favorite, Superman.
Non-traditional lynching is controversial among lynchers (those who try to hit the pinata), with many accusing them of missing the ultimate point. Ultimately, it is a matter of preference, with some lynchers even asking the lynchees (the pinata) whether they'd prefer multicolored costumes or a more traditional ceremony. Unfortunately, many of these requests end up with someone skipping town and moving up North.
Etiquette[edit]
It is generally good etiquette to ask the lynchee beforehand what kind of lynching he or she would like to have. Try asking your friends if they'd like to be lynched. You'll have a lot of fun!
