HowTo:Make an illegal bet
Okay the games starting in 3 hours, what do you want to do while we wait? What? You want to make an illegal bet? Well you're going to need some help.
Okay let's go see my "friend"
Yeah, I know a guy who could help us "take out the cake", if you know what I mean. How do I know him? Well he was the guy that was boning your stepsister last Halloween. What? Don't worry about it. He's gay... now.
Who are you going for?
This article is part of Uncyclopedia's HowTo series.
See more HowTos
What!? You forgot who the two teams were!? Oh my god! You really are an idiot! What? You think I remember? Of course I don't you dipshit! Wait maybe this guy knows...
Okay, now pay the man "for the cake"
What? You left your money at home? God dammit! Fine... drive home and get your money... But I'm going to kick your ass later!
You made it back here, you have your money, and you're going to vote for the Denver Pussies. Now how much are you going to place?
Yeah, that's right. I'm a cop. You are under arrest!!! What did you expect? I don't even know who you are. You just walk up to some random guy and ask to place a bet. I'm in uniform you idiot! God dammit!