Unquotable:Last words

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Last words from ignoble men, women, etc. throughout history.

“Hah. What are you going to do, kill me?”

~ Oscar Wilde

“This wallpaper and I are fighting a duel to the death. Eventually one of us has to go!”

~ Oscar Wilde

“...and now, Miss Moneypenny, you know why I always wanted my martinis served shaken and not stirred.”

~ James Bond

“Alas, it looks like those unsubstantiated rumours about me are about to come true after all this time...”

~ Paul McCartney


~ Anonymous

“These are my last words.”

~ Captain Obvious

“I'll be back!”

~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Hang on a minute, I'm just gonna take a short nap again...”

~ Captain Understatement

“It is not death that I'm apparently now succumbing to, but the rapid diminishment of lifeforce from this body of mine.”

~ Dan Quayle

“I'm dying?!?!?!

~ Captain Oblivious

“I'm fine. I'm just waiting for Thanatos to come for a visit.

~ Professor Subtle

“I absolutely and unconditionally regret, remorse, and above all, am sorry for the truth and realization that I've neglected, dishonored, and ruined my chance, opportunity, and moment to spend my time on Earth, Terra, or the Earthly Realm with, amongst, and together among my offspring, scions, heirs, children, minors, sons, and daughters.”

~ Lord Alvin Redund, of the House of Redund and thus Bestowed, Dubbed, and Gifted with the Title and Honor of Lord for Blue-Bloodedness and the Fact that the House of Redund is the Nobility, Aristocracy, and Contingent to Parliament's House of Lords

“Go on. Kill me. You don't have the guts.”


“Me, dying? Oh, so I guess those vitamin C pills I took this morning didn't work after all...”

~ Captain Sarcasm

“Don't worry I'll just come out of the ground later and recite Thriller”

~ Michael Jackson

“I just got a splendid idea: I'll just retcon myself into an immortal elf and head off for Valinor! Quickly, where is my pencil?”

~ J.R.R. Tolkien

Clark, there is something important I never got to tell you. You have to hear it: I... am... Batman...”

~ Lois Lane

“Tune in, turn on, drop out.”

~ Timothy Leary

“I was a lifelong atheist, so chances are, I'll be meeting other people.”

~ Jean-Paul Sartre

“I'll prove to Leonard once and for all that you can swim even with rocks stuffed into your clothes.”

~ Virginia Woolf

“Thank God these tickets were free, Mary. This play really su...”

~ Abraham Lincoln

“Yeah, yeah, I know the Mafia is pissed and all that over my legislation. But for God's sake, Jackie, I'm the friggin' president! They can't lay a finger on m...”

~ John F. Kennedy

"You guys, surely that strange new member who joined our flock today has some unusually nasty sharp teeth for being a sheep, doesn't he?" – A sheep (translated from Baaish language).

“I am dying, you claim? Do you have a neutral secondary source to back up that unverified, biased statement?”

~ A Wikipedia editor

“Oh, NO!!!”

~ Kool-Aid Man

“Hulk not dying! Hulk is the strongest there is! Hulk SMASH puny Grim Reaper! Puny Grim Reaper makes Hulk mad!”

~ The Incredible Hulk

“Emma, have you ever had a feeling that my entire lifetime of work will only lead to more racial hatred, pseudoscience, and hilarious nonsense?”

~ Charles Darwin

“I only regret that I have but one life to give to a global corporate empire of the future.”

~ Nathan Hale

“The only thing I hate more than cosmic evil is those pretentious hippies who mindlessly holler names of Hindu deities without giving a shit as to why.”

~ Krishna

“I just hope those godforsaken Chinamen won't depict me with a friggin' beer belly. I mean, seriously, even in my hedonistic days I never reached the obesity mark.”

~ Buddha

“Dear passengers, this is just a minor turbulence. We will reach the airport in half an hour.”

~ A flight attendant

“Are you ready for a noose sensation?”

~ Michael Hutchence

“The fuck was that all about?”

~ Marlon Brando

“I told you I was ill.”

~ Spike Milligan

“who are you, shoving a gun in my face?!”



~ Caligula

“What an artist dies in me.”

~ Nero

“Is it a bird? Is it a plane? Well whatever it is, it's headed straight for us.”

~ Manager of the World Trade Centre

“Take your shoes off, you're in a -”

~ Osama Bin Laden

“Got nailed eventually.”

~ Jesus Christ

“Aye, aye, a scratch, a scratch.”

~ Mercutio

“O I am slain.”

~ Polonius, auditioning for the role of Captain Obvious in his final moments

“O yet defend me friends, I am butt-hurt.”

~ Claudius