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"That mouse droid is agitating my ankle plate"

C-3PO is one of only two characters who survives all the way to the end of the Star Wars Saga, through a combination of sweet talk and treachery. He is renowned amongst droids as having the second sharpest wit and a keen imagination. In his younger years, he often walked around without anything to cover his junk, and because of that, is now quite a chick magnet. This ultimate bachelor speaks over six million languages. With eyes that charm the prettiest model droids, he is the Justin Timberlake of the droids.

His quotes are best read by a computer program. Otherwise, take a short pause before every word and speak in the upper register of your voice, in your best fake English accent.

C-3PO's Most Famous Quotes[edit]

C-3PO on Chivalry[edit]

  • "Just open the door, you stupid lug."
  • "No, please don't stand up."
  • "No need to bow..."

C-3PO on the Future[edit]

  • "We're doomed."
  • "I calculate our survival odds are 1 in 725."
  • "I'm a communicator, how am I supposed to know?"
  • "I feel so helpless."

C-3PO on Telemarketing[edit]

  • "I am C-3PO, Telecommunications."
  • "I only sound like I am in a foreign country. I can help you with your billing problem."
  • "They are not interested in the mobile plan."
  • "We need to buy a vacuum cleaner."

C-3PO on Government[edit]

  • "Congratulations, you are now a democracy."
  • "Quick, let's get out of here before they find out."
  • "This is terrible."

C-3PO on Dating[edit]

  • "Oh, don't do it. Not now."
  • "What have I done?"
  • "No one wants my company tonight."
  • "Don't come back to me, begging for help. I won't give it."