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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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March 8: International Talk Like Caveman Day
- 310,001 BCE - Neanderthal fella meet Cro-Magnon first time. Neanderthal wave hello. Neanderthal look down and see spear in chest. Neanderthal go "Ow".
- 298,006 BCE - Ook invent fire. Ook patent fire. But Ook find website name already taken.
- 100,000 BCE - Legendary inventor Org invent wheel, make move mud less hard.
- c.2700 BCE - Caveman not understand when Bangles lady sing "walk like Egyptian".
- 200 BCE - Lots ancient Greek guy invade Troy when Trojan Queen talk like pirate not caveman.
- 1104 - Crusader talk like caveman when get to Middle East, not know Arabic. Get head chopped off anyway.
- 1804 - Noah Webster make first caveman dictionary. Caveman no buy when find not very tasty.
- 1884 - Oscar Wilde revitalizes Talk Like Caveman Day; reads to crowd from primitive work Lord Arthur Savile's Crime and Other Stories.
- 1917 - Manfred von Richthofen, also known Red Baron, kill nineteen enemy plane, only credited two since two highest caveman number.
- 1933 - Inflation and bad crop yield force Old McDonald close farm, sell livestock and murder-wagon.
- 1967 - George of Jungle talk like caveman, confuse many people except animal.
- 1998 - Six Flags place make best rule; eject people not talk like caveman.
- 2001 - First caveman become president United States. Other caveman think him funny funny.
- 2016 - Second caveman become president USA. Other caveman laugh again until fired from government.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*...that love is not what makes Subaru, a Subaru; it's rather the wheels, body, and engine?
- ... that making a band usually involves frantically begging family and strangers to join?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
