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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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March 30: National Cleavage Day (UK)
- 1599 - Elizabeth I of England establishes 'The Itty Bitty Titty Committee'.
- 1910 - Broadcaster Terry Wogan is born under a credenza and is raised in seclusion by Hypnotoad.
- 1996 - The KGB begins recruiting fat chicks with thongs as secret agents.
- 1939 - Hitler announces a glorious 1000 year Reich free of saggy tits .
- 1954 - The first Subway sandwich shop in Canada opens in Atlanta.
- 1968 - She wore an itsy, bitsy, teeny, weeny, yellow polka-dot bikini.
- 1977 - Harry Potter discovers the Swedish mammoth tit ('Potterus gigantatittium).
- 1981 - The animated rock video Heavy Metal is released. Holy shit!
- 1990 - Canadian Uncyclopedian gets to second base; parents proud.
- 1996 - Fox News opens its comment line but finds its core audience is unable to dial phones or remember strings of numbers.
- 2003 - Pamela Anderson is the grand marshal in the Macy's National Cleavage Day Parade.
- 2007 - Vention, The National Kiwanis Convention for the New England District, meets. Nine months later, every teenage girl in the New England district is still hung-over and going into labor.
- 2008 - Chavette Katie Price reveals her supervillain identity Jordan, who then proceeds to inflate her breasts to engulf London, killing over 25,000.
- 2045 - Feminists attempt to outlaw the production of low-cut shirts. They are then all killed by the mob of women running across town to buy the last few v-neck shirts made.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... that Martin Van Buren is a total dick and nobody likes him?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
