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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 8: Be Suspicious of Your Friends and Co-Workers (They're Trying to Kill You) Day
- 1210 - Rain is discovered by Vatican scientists.
- 1213 - The Vatican, under Pope Innocent III, creates purgatory.
- 1312 - King Edward II became the first man to successfully grow a goatee beard.
- 1798 - North Dakota moves to its present location from beside the River Thames.
- 1861 - Tennessee secedes from the Union. Nissan decides it will build its plant there after all.
- 1900 - Hitler's moustache is born.
- 1901 - The Queen of the United Kingdom, Empress of Canada, Grand Sheila of Australia, Most Merciful Pasha of Yorkshire, is expelled from her mother's uterus into the world.
- 1949 - 35 years after starting it, George Orwell finally completes his futuristic novel Nineteen Fourty-Four.
- 1963 - Doctor What changes his name to Doctor Who.
- 1969 - Bill Clinton fails to inhale.
- 1979 - Mel Gibson speaks in enhanced Aussie accent after discovering he was born in Peekskill, New York.
- 1983 - The United States Government collapses then reforms in a period of twelve hours. No one notices because a cute kitten is born on TV.
- 2011 - You read this. You wished you had not bothered. You take a sip of tea and note a slightly odd taste. Distracted, you reread this line, except now it is dated 2011.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks?
- ... that hitting the refresh button does not bring you a relaxing beverage when you are signed in?
- ... however, it will bring you a new clutch of Did You Know entries,
- ... thus suggesting you might be a masochist?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
