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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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March 14: The Day the Music Died, American Pi Day
- c.2 million BCE - Younger cave people would begin to pound two rocks together quickly and in tempo whereas their parents would bang two rocks together very slowly and without rhythm. The generation gap is born, with parents always criticizing this new thing called music.
- 27 BCE - Greeks fight valiantly against Russell Crowe in a vast gladiatorial event to define pi as the ratio of the circumference of a circle divided by its diameter.
- 435 - Pope Sixtus III denounces pi, claiming it to be "the worke of thye devile, in his moste clever ploye yet."
- 973 - The Great God Pan, lacking worshippers, fades into nothingness. The only trace of him will exist in the future as panpipes and pan pizza.
- c.1550 - As soprano voices are needed for choirs and females are not allowed to sing in public, Italians hack off the nads of promising boy bands; they are known as castrati. The method would be successfully used many years later by Joe Jackson on his son Michael. This would be counter to the older Italian method used with bands like Puerto Rico's Menudo, where a singer would be killed when his voice changed and would be then be replaced by a clone.
- 1707 - The Physics Act of 1707 defines pi to be 22/7, which scientists of the era proclaim as "close enough".
- 1742 - Johann Sebastian Bach invents disco but keeps it a secret for nearly 250 years.
- 1930 - The concept of pi is used heavily in the construction of the Maginot Line.
- 1981 - The band Pigbag releases Papa's Got a Brand New Pigbag just to confuse a lot of people.
- 1994 - Justin Bieber is born and the death of music is extended to seven other universes.
- 2005 - The Kansas Board of Education restores pi to its traditional value of "three and a bit", as "certain features of the universe are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as mathematics."
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? I♥HYPNOTOAD
- ... your local restaurant "borrowed" its special recipe from the movie Pink Flamingos?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
