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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 7: Bus Stop Day
- 6001 BCE - Blueprints for a square wheel are rejected in favor of the triangular wheel.
- 6000 BCE - The circular wheel is invented.
- 5000 BCE - The wheel is reinvented. The saying "no need to reinvent the wheel" is coined.
- 215 BCE - Archimedes is arrested for indecent exposure.
- 8 CE - Portuguese scientists invent the first water-powered toaster.
- 1221 - Heinrich the magical unicorn becomes the first president of the North Pole.
- 1345 - Man invents the bus stop several hundred years before inventing the bus.
- 1555 - The bus is invented in Horsham, West Sussex.
- 1776 - The Carebear Cousins are born in an strange incident involving vinegar, a busted condom, and Bill Gates' mother. Care-a-Lot will never be the same.
- 1777 - The first water powered bus is brought into service in New Atlantis.
- 1783 - The Montgolfier Brothers have a really good wash. It was indeed an impressive sight.
- 1905 - Norway files for divorce from Sweden after 91 years of marriage. Bus custody is split equitably with visitation rights granted.
- 1973 - Tony Jaa waits for a bus to the Coliseum so he can fight Bruce Lee.
- 2001 - Mary Poppins is brutally murdered outside Aldgate East tube station.
- 2010 - Mick Jagger finally gets satisfaction. His arrest at the back of a bus while doing so is later plea bargained down to a misdemeanor.
- 2017 - Self-driving buses start service and pass up people waiting at bus stops, just like in the days with drivers.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... the British can eat all they want? They measure weight in stones, and lighter stones are used to adjust their numbers.
- ... my name is Iñigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to do something or the other?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
