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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 2: Doris Day
 - 455 – The Vandals plunder Rome, forcing the admins to revert to an earlier edit.
- 1774 – The Quartering Act, which allowed for people to be drawn and quartered, is reenacted by a small community theatre to poor reviews.
- 1801 – Napoleon Bonaparte is blown apart.
- 1866 - After practicing for rebellion in 1848 in Ireland, Irish patriots calling themselves Fenians invade Canada for more practice and take two towns. A British warship is installed in every duckpond and stop the attacks. The next practice would not be held until 1916.
- 1959 – The very first June bug is caught, but is determined to be a mayfly that stumbled across the International Date Line.
- 1968 – Argentina reports the first case of human flu in birds. A cull of 20,000 humans is carried out.
- 1995 – Children are discovered in North Korea, dispelling the rumor that North Koreans reproduce asexually using WMDs and fascism.
- 2001 – The first HAL9000 supercomputer is recalled by manufacturer Itsa Bigga Machine, eh?TM.
- 2003 – The European Space Agency begins probing Mars. Europeans promise to colonize Mars, give Martian natives smallpox, and spur intergalactic wars of independence.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK PEPSI COLA
- ... when Pong! the Movie was released alongside other video game genre releases like The Super Mario Brothers Movie and Resident Evil, it did not play out well in the box offices?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
