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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 3: Rhymes With Turd Day
- 1692 - Poland is reversed.
- 1881 - Sweary Mary utters the word cunt for the first time.
- 1958 - The Rivingtons hit the Top 40 with The Turd Is the Word.
- 1967 - First instance of the phrase "June the Third" being rhymed with "turd". What took us so long?
- 1971 - First invasion of the Kurds.
- 1977 - Melvin Rogers becomes first person to be arrested for DUI. How'd they know? His speech was slurred.
- 1980 - First all-nude production of Richard the Third.
- 1982 - In Wercestershire, Uruguay, is born William Hurd.
- 1985 - On Top of the Pops, The Herndy-Gurds perform Little Bird.
- 1990 - First version of Revenge of the Nerds.
- 1998 - Rhymes With Turd Day is officially abolished, putting an end to the absurd.
- 1999 - Some clever ponce works out that Damien Hurst's last name has an internal rhyme with turd. He is lynched for being a smart-arse.
- 2006 - Man realizes every word rhymes with turd.
- 2007 - Last man standing finally sits down. Word!
- 2008 - French man asplodes after talking like Sylvester Stallone for twenty-three hours. The last thing he said was «Murde!».
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains?
- ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers?
- ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
