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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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May 11: Printer Calibration Jubilee (Cupertino, California)
- 85879 BCE - Yo momma became the first human to be fully evolved, or intelligently designed (whichever you prefer).
- 479 BCE - Recto-Lube: The Brand You Love is founded in ancient Greece.
- 1865 - Abraham Lincoln's corpse starts to stink really badly.
- 1956 - Gold Coast, a country in Africa, decides that they are Ghana, and become independent.
- 1983 - Scientists announce vaccine to protect against Pac-Man Fever.
- 1988 - In the dark, all cats are gray. Or you need a new printer cartridge.
- 1991 - AOL launches its internets service, charging US$1 per week. Take up is slow, as the majority ofmankind had already guessed they are a hideous fraud.
- 1995 - The death of a generation. Countless people die.
- 1996 - Fox News goes on the air. Its first broadcast is a big production number of the Communist anthem The Internationale as they show how close the democrats are to the socialist party.
- 2000 - Al Gore loses Survivor after the Supreme Court intervenes.
- 2002 - Al Gore invents Internet.
- 2008 - James Madison eats George Bush for breakfast, then promptly uses his spidey powers to escape.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... the Butterfly effect is making you read this entry? Pushy things, butterflies.
- ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
