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Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning, the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited Rest In Peace brave souls

Petty Politics Death Burial Services

The Dead Quaint Why?

Nothingness More Dead All are Death

Today's Featured Article In Memoriam Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced. Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor. A minute's deletion is to be observed. edit On this day... March 28: World Hit Somebody in the Head With a Brick Day (Turkey) 657 BCE - The ancient Greeks establish Byzantium as a colony on the Straits of Bosphorus. No songs are written about the town or area, as "potassium" and "phosphorus" are the only rhyming words found. 330 - Once Istanbul was Constantinople. 1056 - In and escalating crisis, Islamics behead 500 Christians. 1057 - Not to be outdone, Christians behead 501 Muslims. 1630 - Old New York was at this point New Amsterdam. Why they changed it, I can't say. People just liked it better that way. 1923 - Modern day country of Turkey formed, people wonder at why it is named after a fat bird you eat for a holiday 1930 - Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople. 1939 - Hitler freaks out, and the German people just liked it better that way. 1990 - Been a long time gone, Constantinople, now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night. 2006 - Every gal in Constantinople lives in Istanbul, not Constantinople, so if you've a date in Constantinople she'll be waiting in Istanbul.	Word of the Day Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much). Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News. Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died. Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there... The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh... Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots. All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands. The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku. The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues. Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed. The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives. All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans. In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly. The Americans have organised a drive through service. a duh /b/ was here edit If anyone cares on a day like today... *... that Forrest Fenn buried treasure worth over $1 million in the Rocky Mountains? ... and it was found by billionaire Paul Allen who used it to buy socks and nose hair clippers? ... that Every Good Boy Does Floccinaucinihilipilification?
Today's featured Tombstone [vote] DaliStache.jpg DaliStache.jpg - 25.5 total votes ( 27.5 / 2 ) You want surreal? Try wasting four hours a day waxing your 'stache until it closely resembles your entire Catalonian name. That's surreal. Image credit: Imrealized Archive - Nominate new image
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Writer and Noob of the Month Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself. "An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006 You now only have 3, goddamnit 3 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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