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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 4: International Deserved Child Abuse Victim Day and International Celebrate Yesterday Day
- 1452 – Christopher Columbus is outvoted on naming the Santa Maria, The Shitbag.
- 1453 – Columbus sells children into sex slavery, starting an American tradition. It will ensure an unending supply of future mass murderers so that newsfeeds will have something to write about.
- 1776 – Thomas Jefferson asks for his first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence.
- 1863 – Rain causes International Celebrate Yesterday Day to be put off until the next day; mass confusion results.
- 1900 – John Jefferson of Oak Ridge, PA awakes from forty-year sleep. He dies of asphyxiation inside his coffin.
- 1942 – The Battle of Midway begins with a surprise attack on Konami. (pictured)
- 1946 – The father of Donald Trump screams at his son on a regular basis, creating the president we know and love today.
- 1976 – Americans celebrate the bicentennial of Thomas Jefferson asking for his first two-week extension on the Declaration of Independence.
- 1980 – Every child abuse offender is released in Texas due to prison overcrowding and a decline in child abuse.
- 1989 – Many young people are gleefully beaten, killed, and abused in the Tiananmen Square massacre.
- 2006 – June 3rd, 2006 is celebrated despite it being International Celebrate Tomorrow Day.
- 2013 – Republicans and nostalgists yearn for the good old days of killer influenza and other fatal diseases, as well as incessant war; they prove not to be satisfied with just the latter today.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... Samuel L. Jackson or Scarlett Johansson have appeared in every minor and major Hollywood movie since 2017?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
