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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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November 1: International Destroy Tokyo Day
- 1053 - Birthday of Nessie, the Loch Ness Monster. Every year Nessie celebrates by not having her picture taken, then destroying Tokyo.
- 1512 - Michelangelo completes the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel; his wife complains that if he carries on at the same rate the wallpaper won't be up for Christmas, when she's invited her sister around. They have a row and she storms out, Valezquez and Raphael come around, crack open a few beers and then destroy Tokyo.
- 1950 - A series of horrific experiments to re-animate dead tissue result in the creation of Joseph Ratzinger. Tokyo is found destroyed a few days later.
- 1952 - As part of the weapons program Operation Ivy, the U.S. successfully detonates a 10 megaton hydrogen bomb in Eniwetok atoll, located in the Marshall Islands. Most historians regard this as Godzilla's birthday. Godzilla celebrates it every year by attempting to destroy Tokyo, or, if Tokyo is under attack from another monster, by saving Tokyo.
- 1952 - The next day, a loophole is discovered in that once Godzilla saves Tokyo, it is once again not under attack from another monster. Therefore, by the transitive property, if another monster attacks Tokyo, Godzilla destroys Tokyo.
- 1953 - Mothra hatches from an egg, then destroys Tokyo.
- 1957 - Mothra finishes metamorphosis and changes from a destructive silkworm to a beautiful butterfly. Then it destroys Tokyo.
- 1959 - An evil cult performs a dark ritual that results in the birth of one of the most terrifying monsters of all time: Dick Cheney. Cheney promptly goes out and destroys Tokyo.
- 2005 - Fisher Price is created. An innocent child uses one of his toys to destroy Tokyo. Child is no longer innocent.
- 2023 - In a major upset, the Dolphins win the Superbowl. The team and its seventeen fans celebrate by destroying Tokyo.
- 2157 - Using their newly invented time machine, scientists of Tokyo look into the future to predict when Tokyo will next be destroyed. The day before it is, they take initiative and destroy themselves to piss off the would-be destroyers. With Tokyo destroyed by Tokyo, the world is happy. There is much rejoicing.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
