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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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May 24: Collective Bra Burning Day
- 12,000 BCE - Og the caveman wears a Ramones t-shirt despite having never heard them, making him the world's first poser.
- 10,000 BCE - Blue-eyed bitch is saved by mastodons and or mammoths really who cares it was a terrible movie. oh yeah , there was a sabertooth tiger!!!!1
- 274 BCE - The first step towards capturing a unicorn is taken - finding a virgin. It doesn't take long before a new search is started.
- 137 - Joan of Arc's sitcom, That's My Arc, officially cancelled. Riots ensue.
- 1514 - Fred Astaire announces, "Jesus is a foo'." Angry fans eat records and quickly find that vinyl is addictive.
- 1851 - Oscar Wilde appears on Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
- 1851 - Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is cancelled.
- 1934 - Ban on oak, termites allergic.
- 1980 - After years of searching, archaeologist Foos Babaganoush finally finds Stalin's cheese grater.
- 2001 - Snoop Doggy Dog is mysteriously murdered by one of his bitches. "Faw Shizzle," replies rapper R Kelly.
- 2005 - AOL frisbees become popular.
- 2006 - 400th birthday of the pelvic thrust. Show us how it's done!
- 2008 - Due to the hatred of people who watch Grey's Anatomy instead of The Office and Scrubs, James Madison kills every person who watches that show.
- 2010 - The Cleveland Show is a huge success and Family Guy is canceled.
- 2014 - Tom Cruise loses all hope of being a legendary hero and returns to his home world.
- 2460 - Axe deodorant officially banned from the United States, the first good decision ever made by a president.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... the great idea you had last week was already thought up by Elon Musk and will soon be realized on Mars?
- ... that Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK PEPSI COLA
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
