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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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January 24: Plain Text Day
0 - The first plain text message was decoded.41 - Caligula killed for textstalking people on his Boost Mobile.833 - Monks produce beautiful illuminated manuscripts in painstaking detail. (pictured)1337 - Not celebrated this year because everything was done in Leet text.1338 - =|> ASCII art kills itself <|= 1563 - John Pepys records his shorthand diary.1838 - Samuel Morse demonstrates the first plain text telegraph browser.1878 - The first typewriter is invented, powered by Intel Core i16, having 160 GB of RAM and 600 TB SSD storage.1879 - The WWW is invented for the said typewriter.1880 - World of Warcraft, a text based MMORPG becomes the most played online game on the typewriter.1838 - Courier New pwns Times Roman.1995 - The OJ Simpson jury delivers a verdict in plain text.2006 - Snakes on a Plain Text Day.2007 - I fucking hate plain bagels!2008 - Slavo-Indo-Chinese Buddhist mujahadeen take over the entire Eastern Hemisphere and wage continental wars against the peoples of Antarctica.2012 - The final half of the Bible is proven to be written in plain text. It clearly shows, through the application of logic, that God was in fact a three-headed football.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... thanks to a transporter accident, the joke about suicide bombers' 72 virgins being Star Trek geeks is older than Islam?
- ... that a rose by any other name would be called something else?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
