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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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December 31: New Year's Revolution Day, Fall of the Triple Mocha Latte (Church of Latte-Day Saints)
- 406 - Vandals, blankers and 12-year-olds cross the Wikipedia River to begin an invasion of Uncyclopedia.
- 776 - The almighty triple mocha latte falls to the decaffeinated beverage.
- 1543 - Caucasians revolt in the hope that they'd be able to gain control over the pornography industry of Amerika. They fail to keep it up because of their dwindling supply of condoms.
- 1905 - Leonard Bernstein is born to the Bernstein Bears.
- 1993 - Four Non-Blondes pray every single day for revolution, then roll over and cry while lying in bed.
- 1994 - U.S. internet jokewriters realize almost too late that there are only twelve months in the year, petition for a thirteenth so the date 13/37 can be so l33t and "amusing".
- 1995 - U.S. internet jokewriters realize there are at most thirty-one days in a month anyway, thus decide to wait until January 3, 2037.
- 1999 - Boris Yeltsin stops trying to fake his death realizing that he can simply resign in order not to do any work. Billions around the world celebrate for some odd reason.
- 1999 - Procrastinators around the world (except in Third World countries) panic and rush grocery stores at 11:55 pm (local time) in attempts to prepare for the Y2k Bug, but find the shelves are empty.
- 2000 - 2000th New Year's Revolution begins. Like the one in 1999, it fails after midnight kissing leads to an R-rated experience. Children pout for the 2000th time for being left out of the action.
- 2001 - Realizing the 2000 failures of New Year Revolution, people from all around the world made a resolution to try something different this year, changing New Year's Revolution to New Year's Resolution. This attempt fails due to the obvious reason that no one follows the resolutions they make every New Year.
- 2007 - Uncyclopedia replaces Wikipedia as THE source of all knowledge after idiots make everything Uncyclopedia says true.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... that when a man with a .45 meets a man with a rifle, the man with a pistol will start giggling uncontrollably over the scene in Fistful of Dollars?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
