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Welcome to Uncyclopedia in Mourning, the content-free encyclopedia that we wished Some User and Todd Lyons still edited Rest In Peace brave souls

Petty Politics Death Burial Services

The Dead Quaint Why?

Nothingness More Dead All are Death

Today's Featured Article In Memoriam Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced. Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor. A minute's deletion is to be observed. edit On this day... February 22: International Bonus SPAM Day 509 BCE - The first troll, Spamicarus, is caught passing off used pig shoulders as rare cuts of meat to unwilling customers and is thrown into prison. Sadly, this is both the first and last account of such a thing ever happening to a spammer. 212 BCE - King Solomon reveals the SEVEN SECRET FOODS your witch doctor doesn't want you to know!! 30 CE - Jesus receives a letter from the king: "B UY VI@GRA AND WE W ON'T K!LL YOU--" and tosses it into the river. 419 - IMPORTANT BUSNESS OPPURTUNITY PROPOSAL MARIAM ABACHA NIGERIA PLEASE KEEP SECRET REPLY 433 - CLAIM YOUR FREE MULE!! 1976 - DEAR SIR, MY LATE HUSBAND HAS BEQUEATHED THE SUM OF $4.5MILLION USD... 1980 - GET FREE SPAM HERE! ONLY $1x10^100!! 1993 - YOU HAVE NEW MESSAGES! WOOHOO! 1999 - YOUR EMAIL WON THE UK LOTTERY FOR THE SUM OF 9.9 MILLION POUNDS 2001 - HOT PICS AND CHAT - CLICK HERE!!1! 2002 - SPAM: SPECIAL EDITION! OVER 900 HOURS OF DELETED SPAM!! ! 2003 - %RANDOM_SUBJ% 2004 - THROW A DUCK AT SADDAM AND WIN - CLICK HEAR!1!! 2005 - It's a bull market - check out these Stock gems!!1!!11 2006 - NATURAL MALE ENHANCEMENT!!!!111 2008 - Hot girls want you bad CLICK HEAR 2009 - CLICK HERE TO GET AN IDEAL BIN - ONLY £5X10^123456797540000000!!!!!!!! 2010 - CLIK HERE AND WIN FREEE SPYWARE!!!11!!!!1 2018 - Cambridge Analytica gets every scrap of Facebook data to profile all users down to the nuts. All your base are belong to them.	Word of the Day Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much). Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News. Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died. Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there... The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh... Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion, demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots. All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands. The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku. The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues. Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed. The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives. All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans. In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly. The Americans have organised a drive through service. a duh /b/ was here edit If anyone cares on a day like today... *... children were golden in 1999 when bad kids were threatened with Jar Jar Binks figures for Christmas if they did not behave? ... bingo is the 3rd biggest killer of seniors, ranking just after posing for pictures with wild bears?
Today's featured Tombstone [vote] Canadian Soldiers.jpg Canadian Soldiers.jpg - 21 total votes ( 26 / 5 ) In order to quell the ongoing strife in the Mideast, the Canadian government has elected to send their elite peacekeeping forces into Afghanistan, Iraq and Mos Eisley. Image credit: NewMess1ah Archive - Nominate new image
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Writer and Noob of the Month Oh great....another award for Todd.....(mutters darkly)....lets all be pleased for him.....(mumble, mumble)..... It's a bird! It's a plane! It's....Todd Lyons! Blasting through his competition, Todd sails to the lead with Richard M. Stallman at his right and OCD in his head. ToddBot2000 by day and Article Mastermind by night, his genius speaks for itself. "An incomparably superior human being," the Count of Monkey Crisco is known for his excellent work and knows it. Spawning such contributions as Midget cockpunching terrorists and an Evil Cookie Monster, the Count has left an indelible bootprint on the face of Uncyclopedia, forever. Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006 You have less than a week, just 6 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

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