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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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December 22: Female Awareness Day
- 35000 BCE(ish) - God plans to make perfect woman from an arm and a leg, Adam says "What can ya do with a rib?"
- 600 BCE - YHWH creates woman – twice.
- 1 CE - The Blessed Mother Mary's contractions begin.
- 1000 - The Spaghetti Monster creates sex.
- 1231 - God creates vaginal cancer to spite Spaghetti Monster.
- 1337 - Counter-Strike is invented. Millions abandon warfare and are never seen in public again.
- 1589 - Japan announces the release of the Hello Kitty vibrator.
- 1666 - Manhattan is sold to the Knicks for 24 virgins, an extreme rarity in the area. They immediately re-sell it to Donald Trump.
- 1923 - LSD is first manufactured; nothing happens yet as psychedelic colors would not be created for another 30 years.
- 1933 - William Butler Yeats is found dead in a bear cage at the local zoo with a satisfied bear.
- 1954 - Film Actors Guild (FAG) is founded.
- 1969 - Science discovers a "female orgasm"; they will later find she was faking it. The ghost of Yeats is in shock.
- 1989 - Pixies send monkeys to heaven, Anthony gives Cleopatra a crate of brown ale.
- 2005 - Pussy flavored ice cream invented.
- 2007 - England nukes Wales. Nobody cares.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... the sponge was the highest form of life in the early Cambrian period?
- ... that if Abraham Lincoln was alive today, he would be clawing desperately at the lid of his coffin and screaming for help?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
