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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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April 3: Vivaldi Appreciation Sunday
- 10,000,000 BCE - The Grim Reaper is born. He will initially be informed of deaths by his Grim Beeper. Later, he would have a Facebook app telling him when someone dies.
- 468 BCE - Hashish is patented by the Incas.
- 1220 - The Dark Ages are briefly illuminated by a massive explosion in Syria.
- 1666 - Sir Marquis Baron Vivaldi walks to the crossroads lugging a harpsichord and sells his soul to Satan.
- 1777 - Vivaldi writes his first Satanic backward message, later stolen by the Led-Zep dudes.
- 1888 - Vivaldi returns from Hell and composes a new record, A Change of Four Season, later stolen by regressive metal band Dream Theater who exclude the word "Four".
- 1945 - Someone proclaims that if you play John Cage's 4'33" backwards, you'll hear Vivaldi's second Satanic message.
- 1948 - The Marshall Mathers plan to flood Europe with rap music commences.
- 1974 - Tornadoes sweep the U.S.A, inspiring the invention of the tumble drier.
- 1982 - A Heavy Metal dude releases Vivaldi's tribute album Ultimate Classical Bong.
- 1986 - The D.J. murder rate is at an all-time high, blamed on the provocative lyrics of a single by hardcore rap collective The Smiths. (pictured)
- 1996 - The Unabomber is arrested for crimes against tasteful nomenclature.
- 1995 - Due to a Linux error, April 3, 1997 actually starts in 1995.
- 2007 - Bloody Vivaldi and the Martini Gore, the Baroque Death Metal Vivaldi tribute band, is formed.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... in just one week you can learn the complete lyrics to the 1960s song Batman?
- ... if you fall asleep reading this, when you awake you will find that brownies have made you new shoes?
- ... and that they will always be lime green Crocs?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
