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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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February 6: Nihilism Day
- 4480 BCE - Egypt floods for the 10th time in half as many years causing great destruction. Nihilistic Egyptians do nothing, leaving them in denial.
- 664 BCE - Greek members of the schools of nihilism, skepticism and cynicism are in a violent argument when a earthquake strikes, killing them all. Seeing this, visiting scholars from Germany then create the School of Schadenfreude on the spot, whether they intended to or not.
- 579 - "Yowzah!" would become the popular thing to say throughout the Middle Ages. It would become lost to history until 1922, when it became popular again for about four days.
- 963 - The chirping of early migrating birds irritate nihilists across the world, who do nothing about it.
- 1685 - Charles II of England, like many rich men of his time, chokes on his neck-high stockings and dies of subsequent kidney dysfunction. His death is partially attributed to the fact that instead of calling a doctor, he called to God and possibly ascended to Heaven prematurely.
- 1721 - Bishop Berkeley asks the question: 'If a nihilist falls in the forest and there is no one to hear him, does he make a sound?'
- 1756 - In a remote part of the world, a genius is born. In his head are mathematical formulas and the formation of theories so dense that he, being an infant unable to express himself, bursts into tears. Yet no one bothers with the prodigy, assuming that he is another blood thirsty infant who should be neither seen nor heard. Thus the genius can only sit innocently, waiting for someone to acknowledge him.
- 1868 - Russian nihilists are rounded up and sent to Siberia, but nobody cares. Who's the nihilist now, eh?
- 1937 - The First Worldwide Congress of Existential Nihilism is held in Vienna, Austria. Of course nobody shows up – what did you think?
- 2018 - This last Uncyclopedia anniversary entry remains unfinished because the editor is overcome by sloth, not nihilism, not that he even knows the differe
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
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| Today's featured Tombstone
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[vote]
| Truthfulvendingmachine2.jpg - 8 cups of brown muck ( 12 / 4 )
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The future of coffee vending machines is here! We shan't be lied to anymore, and when we press the button marked coffee colored water we will actually get that, and not frothy double glazed cappuccino! Or vice versa.
Image credit: Modusoperandi
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