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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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October 10: Not-for-Turning Day, International Day of No Underwear
- 1582 - Pope Gregory XIII implements the Gregorian calendar while not wearing any underwear. He announces that turning is immoral.
- 1605 - Miguel Cervantes creates Donkey Kong. Unfortunately for him, Niccolo Machiavelli would always beat him for high score.
- 1807 - Canada defeats The Pirate Nation in the Canadian-Pirate War. Canada turns over a new leaf even though they're not supposed to turn...
- 1815 - Napoleon I of France begins his exile on St. Helena in the Atlantic Ocean. He forgets to pack any underwear. When it was his turn to attack, he refused, stating his famous catchphrase, "Turning will give you herpes."
- 1841 - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow writes the poem Excelsior, extolling the virtues of wood shavings.
- 1921 - Lana Turner is born and immediately gets into trouble.
- 1936 - The Ace Hardware chain is started by Walter Leatherface who really enjoys demonstrating the newly invented chainsaw.
- 1954 - The TV dinner is invented but is only available in black and white.
- 1955 - Jimi Hendrix is spawned from Buddy Holly's guitar and a rum-and-coke while illegally turning on the New Jersey Turnpike.
- 1962 - Transistors replace tubes in TV dinners.
- 1964 - The US destroyer USS Turner Joy lives up to her name by turning and starts the Tonkin Gulf Incident.
- 1975 - USA leads a search for a man named "Charlie" in Vietnam.
- 1980 - Margaret Thatcher declares that she is not for turning, despite the best attempts of pro-turning lobbyists.
- 1995 - Underwear outlawed in Paris. Jim Morrison turns in his grave.
- 2006 - North Korea tests nukes. In response, America builds comsat stations; Iran upgrades zealots; Afghanistan makes turning weapons that have no use.
- 2015 - George Bush dies from a serious case of turning.
- 2015 - Al Gore is arrested for the turning of an undisclosed ex-politician.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... the 400m (1300 ft.) Wichnor Viaduct was built to carry the materials needed for its own construction?
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| Today's featured Tombstone
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[vote]
| McJeebus.jpg - 14 total votes ( 30 / 16 )
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"And yea, God did provide Happy Meals unto them, for they were the hungry 5000. And blessed were the free toys...And on the third day the burgers and fries were reheated and served again...and he saw that it was good. [McCheese 15:24]"
Image credit: Mhaille
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