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Rest In Peace brave souls
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Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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On this day...
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February 18: Martian Invasion Day
- 1789 - Capybaras decide to part their hair on the right side. For unknown reasons, this enrages Martians.
- 1877 - Astronomer Giovanni Schiaparelli is the first to observe canali on Mars, leading to people speculating that there is water in canals and therefore life on Mars. However, we know today Schiaparelli was misinterpreted, actually saying he saw carnivali with large Ferris wheels and roller coasters.
- 1881 - Martians begin to eye Earth while their 35 other eyes keep to the task at hand: Go Fish.
- 1898 - Martians attempt their first invasion of the Earth. They attempt to establish fast-growing Martian red weed but immediately upon planting it is snatched up by humans and smoked. They are also keen on hentai tentacle rape but catch so many STDs that they nearly all die.
- 1932 - The Mars Bar is invented in England and successfully invades the rest of the world, using the name "Mickey Way" in America. Martians are agog, while Adolf Hitler watches and waits.
- 1953 - Martians invade again, this time hiding in a sandpit in the US. They now have new technology, miniaturized mind control devices that are very slowly implanted for dramatic tension. Unfortunately their hulking minions get their zippers caught on anything and everything, even underground. After worrying they might have left the stove on, Martians decide to return home.
- 1977 - Little silver aliens attempt to land in the US but are foiled as their landing spot, a pile of mashed potatoes, proves to be too soft due to too much milk and butter added to the mix.
- 1978 - Invading Martians are driven off again, this time by the repetitive prog rock soundtrack used with news programming and a droning Richard Burton doing voiceover commentary.
- 2000 - Rock finally beats paper but is disqualified on appeal after camera review.
- 2010 - Martians land again but it is only to return the Sojourner and Spirit rover vehicles with parking tickets attached.
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Word of the Day
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Death Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power.
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In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... children were golden in 1999 when bad kids were threatened with Jar Jar Binks figures for Christmas if they did not behave?
- ... Aabye is a popular Danish name, with over a thousand people named Aabye Normal?
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Today's featured Tombstone
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[vote]
GalleryofWTF.png - 5 quid for entrance ( 5 / 0 )
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The 21st century realist art left many masterpieces. The Gallery of World's Tableaux of Fame hosts many artworks from different parts of the world.
Image credit: 90s Kid21
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.