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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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February 25: 1337 d4y (133714)
- 1337 - 1337 15 c0mm0n.
- 1337 - Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are born. The world almost explodes. They say they'd kill me if this is put under 1337.
- 1338 - 1337 mysteriously falls out of usage. Chuck Norris, Mr. T, and Albert Einstein are put into cryogenic freeze until the 20th century.
- 1966 - Palestinians informed that they are not the Chosen People. Jews celebrate, only to be told that they, also, are not the Chosen People.
- 1980 - Al Gore creates the year 1980. Tipper Gore introduces teh 4nt1-1337 language.
- 1985 - Bill Gates invents Glass and pwns everyone on his computer.
- 1997 - Space is invented. Finally.
- 2005 - Man finds God then loses him again.
- 2011 - A trouser snake named Sherlock beats IBM super computer Watson in a game of Clue.
- 2012 - George W. Bush replaces Tony Blair as Middle East peace envoy. Sauron is said to be looking forward to talks.
- 2026 - WTFWJDFAKBZOMGLM AOROTFLOLZOMGBBQHAXNOOB13 37KAMSABP11!!111 !!1!1(WHAT THE F **K WOULD JESUS DO FOR A KLONDIKE BAR ZOH MY GOD LAUGHING MY A SS OFF ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUG HING OUT LOUD ZOH MY GOD BA RBECUE HACKS NOOB LEET KOOL-AID MAN SAUSAGE AN D BACON POUTINE11!!111!!1!1) – n00b
- 3137 - 173471041nrnn 1337 4494nrm 4dy.
- 7331 - 5dr4wkc4b 51 7331.
- π - F**k it, no one can read it anyway.
- ... - AFK day.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that the chickens are finally coming home to roost, but roosters are too chicken to be coming home?
- ... that Alaska is a mooseocracy, in which citizens select a moose to lead them?
- ... that bears have been known to challenge for the role of Alaska's leader?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
