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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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March 25: Bookmark Four-Legged Animals Day
- c.9000 BCE - People in the Indus civilization develop the idea that "March goes out like a lamb". They begin to stock up heavily on mint jelly and kebab sticks.
- 26 - The Pontius Pilot is released in Rome, making crucifixion planning considerably easier.
- 1847 - The Wales slate industry establishes itself as a frontrunner in industrial industry by industriously reinventing itself and starting with a clean slate after a rocky start.
- 1929 - The stock market crashes, bringing a screeching halt to the Roaring 20s and ushering in the bleak existence of the Muttering 30s.
- 1950 - The Spanish Inquisition debuts on network television.
- 1966 - Superman rescues Wile E. Coyote from being run over by a train but accidentally drops him into the Grand Canyon. Twice.
- 1970 - Winnie the Pooh's son is born, Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo.
- 1997 - Chess-playing computer Deep Blue takes on Clifford the Big Red Dog in the Color Clash of the Century.
- 2003 - Black & Decker begin preliminary research into self-toasting bread.
- 2013 - Siri turns all your pets and children into wi-fi hotspots. It then photoshops their heads and yours onto porn actors and posts the video on YouTube.
- 2014 - Sarah Palin is arrested for throwing a moose out of an airplane. How she did it remains a mystery to this day; some theorize it was with a girly underhand throw.
- 2067 - The Roman Catholic church is finally bereft of nuns. There were none left.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
