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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 13: Double Entendre Day *wink wink*
- 1891 - A horse walks into a bar for first time. Historians are not sure if he was a little horse.
- 1898 - A chicken "crosses the road" for the first time, but the event goes unnoticed by the media except for the news truck that ran it over.
- 1954 - A priest, rabbi and a minister walk into a bar, an event also unnoticed by media due to lame double entendre jokes that follow.
- 1955 - Martin McFly goes "back to the future" where things are "heavy" and Oedipal projection problems develop, requiring playing of Johnny B. Goode before it is written.
- 1956 - The word "whoa" is uttered the first time in history by a man seeing the worlds most beautiful woman completely naked being eaten by a giant robot octopus skateboarding out of a burning helicopter.
- 1967 - Thurgood Marshall "joins" the Supremes. The newly augmented group shortly releases their next album, For Great Justice.
- 1974 - A blonde agrees to a double entendre on the condition that all participants use protection.
- 1979 - George Lucas "releases" his biggest movie.
- 1981 - Quotation marks become "compulsory" to denote double entendres. Everybody "agrees" to this new law. Some "people" oppose the "abuse" of the "quotation" mark, obtaining a null "support" from the media (wink, wink, double wink).
- 1982 - Magic Johnson "roots" Yao Ming, gets AIDS.
- 1983 - Pioneer 10 becomes the first "man-made" object" to "pass the orbit" of Pluto. Uncyclopedian avoids easy Uranus joke.
- 1985 - Martin McFly comes "back from the future". Girlfriend "likes his truck" and McFly "gets his truck waxed".
- 1997 - A woman enters into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. And the barman "gives her one".
- 2000 - World's first self-reflexive "double entendre" is created.
- 2000 - George W. Bush makes one of his hundreds of speeches to "help" America (wink, wink, nudge, nudge).
- 2004 - A woman pulls in to a gas station and asks the attendant to "fill her up". Attendant sells her some petrol. Opportunity for double entendre is missed, attendant is lynched.
- 2005 - Captain Crunch "promoted" to admiral for "services" to the nation.
- 2007 - A woman walks into a bar, but faints before the barman can make a double entendre. Woman is taken to hospital. Doctor tries desperately to save the double entendre that could have been, but sadly fails and the woman dies.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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| *... the great idea you had last week was already thought up by Elon Musk and will soon be realized on Mars?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
