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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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February 12: World Write in Graeco-Latin Day (Graeco-Rome)
- 544 BCE - Greek becomes the language of commerce and government in the eastern Mediterranean areas, Latin in the west. Most people in both areas would continue to curse and scream in their native languages. Confused fish in the Aegean Sea would just wing it.
- 310 BCE - Ouidis cognis qui, ma Helle-Romanis di est non iubil.
- 311 BCE - Id qua.
- 299 BCE - Graeco-Latin Squares first appears as a game show in the Mediterranean area, with pairs of famous Greeks and Romans in each square, with contestants attempting to determine if answers given to questions are true or not. Leonhard Euler would later figure out the optimum strategy, spoiling it all.
- 83 BCE - Greeks train a huge army of vicious anteaters to attack Carthage, marching them into the sea to secretly attack the port and shipping. Results are mixed as thousands of dead anteaters block the harbor entrance though survivors sweep Carthage clean of ants.
- 3+3=3 - Rutty, toot, toot, toot'n Graeco-Labrador fiesta!
- 415 - The polymath Hypatia of Alexandria is killed by a mob for asking, "Didn't we just celebrate this holiday yesterday?"
- 444 - "Yo' momma." – Attila the Hun.
- 888 - With no one left, the barbarians invade Rome for the sake of it.
- 1346 - The trireme is abandoned in favor of sailing ships after the song Row, row, row your boat makes its unwanted appearance.
- 1809 - The holy profit of evolutionism, Charles Darwin is born.
- 1898 - Graeco-Roman wrestling is introduced into the Olympics, moved from sofas in darkened parlors and back seats of carriages.
- 2001 - In honor of the invention of Greek fire, Canadians invent Arcade Fire.
- 2012 - Etruscans return from outer space to place flaming bags of poo on archaeologists' doorsteps.
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... that if you see Buddha on the road, you should kill him, but first get his autograph on a baseball or something?
- ... P.T. Barnum indeed said "There's a sucker born every minute" but that he was talking about aphids?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
