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Rest In Peace brave souls
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| Today's Featured Article
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In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
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| On this day...
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June 28: Adamand Eve (Kenya, Iceland), Obliviousness Awareness Day (Chad, China)
- 1493 - Unimpressed by Columbus' attempt to reach the Far East by sailing west, navigator Ernesto de Borgnine attempts to reach the Americas by sailing East. His ship crashes into the Cadiz docks thirty seconds into his journey.
- 1572 - The day the music died.
- 1573 - The day the music was resurrected as a zombie.
- 1619 - Nostradamus predicts that everyone will die someday, including the music.
- 1745 - Sharon Stone begins her first retirement at the age of 57.
- 1851 - Franco-Pakistani War ends in a draw after a sudden death match.
- 1865 - The Army of the Potomac is disbanded but will re-emerge as the KISS Army many years later.
- 1914 - A driver takes a wrong turn in Sarajevo and runs over Franz Ferdinand in the process. World War One finds an excuse to start.
- 1922 - The bloody war between Chile and France ends abruptly when both countries realize that they don't have common borders to fight over.
- 1947 - Obliviousness Awareness Day declared in Chad. Chadians celebrate by starving as usual.
- 1950 - Seoul is captured by North Korean forces; James Brown is not amused.
- 1973 - Scholars discover the first gay couple, Adam and Steve, in Israel. In other news, it's the goddamn doodly best day ever because Maddox visits Chicago.
- 1980 - An earthquake destroys the Chinese city of Bu-Chu-Fu; millions die. When rescue crews complain about poor building construction, the Chinese government declares it to be Obliviousness Awareness Day.
- 2009 - One of our greatest, Billy Mays, passes on to infomercial heaven. You can get Billy Mays and for a limited time only, his charisma for not one or two but three eternities!
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| Word of the Day
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Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
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| In the news
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- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
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| If anyone cares on a day like today...
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*... Uncyclopedia is riddled with subliminal messages? DRINK IRN-BRU, YA DOBBER YOU
- ... when a Chinese Uncyclopedia member writes an article, ██████ █████████████ ████ █████?
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Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
