From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
Rest In Peace brave souls
|
|
|
|
| Today's Featured Article
|
In Memoriam
Is it with great sadness that Uncyclopedia must report the loss of two of the most beloved members of the Uncyclopedian Community. A day of mourning has been announced.
Todd "Howlin'" Lyons and Some "Fingers" User worked tirelessly for the betterment of others, and both in their own unique ways have improved and left their mark on the Uncyclopedia you see before you today. Their self sacrifice will long be remembered, and plans are underway to erect a fitting monument, the Tomb of the Unknown Contributor.
A minute's deletion is to be observed.
|
| On this day...
|
 We had a bunch of puns about the unemployed, but none of them would work. February 10: International Bad Pun Day
- 1104 - Potato famine engulfs Ireland. Panhandling leprechauns flood the cities because they're a little short.
- 1105 - Irish Potato Phantom claims responsibility for bitter harvest.
- 1890 - Oscar Wilde's new play "Pun" is first performed in London. Critics describe it as a "play on words".
- 1950 - Future French actor Jean Reno is asked whether he wants to go to the toilet. "Oui, Oui" he replies.
- 1951 - Avocado discovers the mol. Scientific community dismisses him when he claims that they are not, in fact, brown and fuzzy.
- 1954 - Inventor of the handshake chokes while ingesting his own creation. Doctors attempted to finger force the patient but couldn't nail the problem in time. He died on the way to the hospital.
- 1973 - Describing his spiritual journey into heavy metal, Jimmy Page admits that he was "led" into it.
- 1975 - Colorado Christian Boarding School-boy Dick Face is insulted for the first time. I would not be his last.
- 1977 - French President Mitterand explains at a press conference that he doesn't like too many eggs for breakfast as one egg is 'un oeuf'.
- 1980 - Various case studies indicate you can put things in them and carry them by their handles.
- 1981 - Bono and The Edge agree that they, too, like the Canadian Punk band "U".
- 1996 - "Punny" added to the Oxford dictionary. Subsequent bonfire nearly engulfs America.
- 1997 - During a fight with Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson's British trainer exclaims "What's this 'ere?"
- 2017 - Walmart opens 1st store in Iraq. The only thing that was in its way before was that there was a target on every corner. Walmart stocks spike due to increase in Game department.
- 2018 - Walmart bans sale of firearms at Iraqi stores based on public outcry due to increased violence in Kuwait.
- 2031 - Juan Pablo Montoya is shot to death. Police believe the weapon to be a golf gun, because it made a hole in Juan.
|
|
| Word of the Day
|
Death
Try to use it in conversation.
Knowledge is power.
|
| In the news
|
- Oscar Wilde writes a poem showing what he thinks about the deaths of Some User and Todd Lyons(he misses them very much).
- Editors of uncyclopedia.wikia.com die and appoint earwig-human hybrid to manage Recent News.
- Jesus was revived. But Norwegian Space Ottars mistook him for a fish and buried him in their gardens. He died.
- Gothic people slit their wrists and write tragic poems, nothing newsworthy there...
- The emos commit mass suicide, but nobody cares...duh...
- Mourners flow through the streets of New York in melodramatic fashion,
demonstrating, parading, blocking traffic and inciting riots.
- All Uncyclopedians are wearing black armbands.
- The Japanese are comitting mass seppuku.
- The British are maintaining a stiff upper lip. In France, rioting ensues.
- Physicists at IITb publish a paper no one could understand. Basically they wanted 1 hour of strict mourning to be observed.
- The State Department for Social Security will NOT pay successors' pensions to the relatives.
- All the Russians are drunk. All the Dutch are stoned. Peyote use at an alarming high among Native Americans.
- In the middle east the streets are full of women wailing loudly.
- The Americans have organised a drive through service.
a duh /b/ was here
|
| If anyone cares on a day like today...
|
*... that Pennsyltucky is not really the 57th state but is a good source of fiber?
- ... that Wright-Patterson Air Force Base is home to a heavily guarded repository of bad puns?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Protected by Sacred Ground, and our Prayers.
