Wiki Administrators
“Look. The people you are after are the people you depend on. We check your spelling. We huff your trash. We redirect to your article, we format your text. We even guard your articles while you sleep. Do not fuck with us”
"You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson. You believe that you are special, that somehow the rules do not apply to you. Obviously you are mistaken. This wiki is one of the most totally awesome wikis on the Internet because every single editor understands that they are part of a whole. Thus if an editor has a problem, the wiki administrators have a problem. The time has come to make a choice, Mr. Anderson. Either you choose to respect the wiki administrators from this day forth or you choose to find yourself another site. Do I make myself clear?"
~ Mr. Rhineheart (from The Matrix I) on Wiki Administrators
“'You have been blocked for a personal attack against the Marquis of Queensbury?' WTF?!”
Wiki Administrators are bastards the kindest most benevolent people on the Internet. Unlike real-life professionals, Wiki admins actually don't give a shit care about each individual moron user, and try their damndest best to make sure everyone is pissed off gets along and is frustrated angered by satisfied with their results. Their amazingly inaccurate 100% perfect track record should be an example to God to smite them where they stand the Powers That Be everywhere.
Attributes of Wiki Administrators
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Encouragement
Wiki Administrators spend much of their time helping make sure there are no embarrassing red links anywhere on their sites by encouraging users to contribute whenever and wherever they see any. This results in lots of really good articles evolving over time from stubs created by random people who just clicked on the red links and typed in only a sentence or two.
Helpfulness
Wiki Administrators are known for being cruel helpful to n00bs and h@xx0r$ alike. They not only help fuck things up fix stuff, but they also show people how to do it themselves. Any time there's a n00b in trouble, an admin is never sometimes usually always right there to make things worse save the day!
Neutral
The Thought Police Wiki Administrators are da bomb when it comes to NPOV issues. Their homosexuality objectivity is unquestioned, and their stupidity gayness record-breaking moronic decisions wisdom and insight on all matters is matched only by their mind-numbingly idiotic brilliantly uncluttered perspective of events.
Fun-Loving
Wiki admins are the Fun Police just love having fun (with granpa on backyard) and want everyone else to have as much fun as possible on their sites. They often get together and masturbate and ban innocent people for no reason for a nice circle jerk for a nice game of strip poker Uncyclopoly.
Democratic
Wiki admins do everything like Hitler like a four-year old child that seemed right at the time drunk and in their underwear democratically. From how articles are deleted to what constitues a good article and beyond, they usually never take their nations to war without first consulting with the Magic 8 Ball a psychic George Clooney The Oracle the UN. Since they all have a 100% perfect track record ever since Jimbo Wales (the first protozoa wiki admin ever), people don't even need to vote anymore because wiki administrators are so in-tune with their communities that they already know how to party to fuck things up to make a bomb from instructions they found on the Internet babies are made to read minds any such votes will turn out. This uncanny ability to predict poll results have effectively made voting on Wiki discussion pages a joke thing of the past, and as unbelievably fucking stupid remarkably accurate as the famously precise counting of votes in Cuba and Florida.
Specific Wikis
Wikipedia
Wikipedia administrators are known for jealously guarding fucking up protecting the existence of new updated content and for reverting perfectly good edits actually trying to make Wikipedia a laughing stock on the Internet their site better; a hopelessly futile task.
Uncyclopedia
Unfortunately, many Uncyclopedia:Administrators died in a recent suspcious fire hail of gunfire car bombing famine after their flammable crops burnt up, this sparked the first Wikirebellion in 2007, as Uncyclopedia Administrators are the only admins anyone cares about evil. Generally, this results in a coup appearance on Larry King Stock Market crash day off from work trip to the zoo higher statistical likelihood of having three kids named Bob.
Before his death, Elvis, using a complex algorithm, started a radical movement to save the mooses, and said "Sup, dawg?". Unfotunately, several of them overdosed on codeine, and promptly fell to the floor with a loud "Splak!" sound... rcmurphyspintherismpantsmackenzietompkinskeiteibradaphraserspanghinoamhaille!
Propaganda / Brainwashing
Minitrue mark article doubleplusgoodthink, while marking it doubleminusgoodthink at the same time. But do not let this interrupt your reading, if it benefits our country.
See Also
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