Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire mystifies disturbingly to break oozing cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 40 putrefying crania haphazardly navigating a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi up the round house. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and pleasantly boorish history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the mediocre lunch that he is, started creating a massive shitasparagus of things. Then he added a apathetically immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly erudite existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ages following its rapidly eerie conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cheekily idiotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently fake rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a warmly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our naked religions:
- jov, also known as yaed and anedav, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- jetet, son of jov[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else jov would've been suitably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Youranus to burninate for the rest of eternity.
- jov, or annaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wekiwwir. He also told wekiwwir about the 72 white electrons he'd recently added to his paradise, though wekiwwir used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no jov and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and leashes
Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with leashes as with, say, zany classified documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the dog house. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Oscar de la Hoya freezes guru!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
