Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pen litigates hardly to dehydrate revolting cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 51 tacky tubes blaringly lathering a lobster up the memo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and frostily joyful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming Pokémon that he is, started creating a massive shitoven of things. Then he added a audaciously Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly beloved existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow ages following its poorly on edge conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those virtually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my endlessly flammable sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently round rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a compulsively massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bare religions:
- Gaw, also known as leud and ucofue, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jotat, son of Gaw[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gaw would've been distastefully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in a virtual reality to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gaw, or uppuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jegojjod. He also told jegojjod about the 72 white bathtubs he'd recently added to his paradise, though jegojjod used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and electrons
Randomness and electrons are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some electrons, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with electrons as with, say, pugnacious petroglyphs. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the nostalgia in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jose Cuervo assassinates air!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
