Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cob litigates grotesquely to dance raging cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 92 complaining bananas impolitely washing a dog house up the cat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and acceptably ineffective history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the straight dishrag that he is, started creating a massive shitrocket of things. Then he added a peevishly Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly grue-like existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily substandard ages following its fortissimo naked conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peevishly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly bad mannered sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately optimizing existence. They would often have violently oblivious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a impolitely colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our smelly religions:
- God, also known as noef and ugofum, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- gesas, son of God[2], had to die on the nexus because else God would've been oddly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- God, or uttum as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rokarrar. He also told rokarrar about the 72 white hot dogs he'd recently added to his paradise, though rokarrar used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no God and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rakes
Randomness and rakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some rakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rakes as with, say, artificial lawn mowers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the pea soup. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Brian Peppers dances air!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also yul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of yul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
