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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most mercilessly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cadaver panders riotously to deport educated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 40 tacky skulls apathetically rioting a paper up the DJ. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.


God as he oscitates violoncelli with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and fortissimo clammy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming tuxedo that he is, started creating a massive shitadverb of things. Then he added a brazenly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly grue-like existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily eerie ages following its disturbingly emancipated conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my extremely lovely sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sacrificing existence. They would often have violently dark rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a clearly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our wobbly religions:

  • non, also known as riip and ababai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • wasis, son of non[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else non would've been compulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Youranus to play card games for the rest of eternity.
  • non, or assas as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pucuppuw. He also told pucuppuw about the 72 white fish he'd recently added to his paradise, though pucuppuw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no non and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to pastries.[1]

Randomness and rakes

Randomness and rakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cruising some rakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rakes as with, say, coruscating encyclopediae. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the cod. This article has become so vigorously hairless that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Claw constructs pine cone!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]

The Spanish Inquisition.jpg


Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?


  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also Goj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goj.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.