Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most peacefully random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cowbell rewards peacefully to plagiarize egregious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 46 beloved airplanes uncaringly cruising an anvil up the flap. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he cures miscellanious dead things with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and incessantly red history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the scanty Holy Martian Empire that he is, started creating a massive shitfealty of things. Then he added a to a great degree mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ineffective existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sexy ages following its distastefully mundane conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those (in an unimpressed manner) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my pleasantly crazed sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately insulting existence. They would often have violently revolting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a warmly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unsophisticated religions:

  • Gaf, also known as yiad and azocao, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • pisos, son of Gaf[2], had to die on the cross because else Gaf would've been blaringly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Paris to burn for the rest of eternity.
  • Gaf, or aggad as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kelokkok. He also told kelokkok about the 72 white sticks he'd recently added to his paradise, though kelokkok used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no Gaf and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.


Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to bathtubs.[1]


Randomness and neurotoxins

Randomness and neurotoxins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was litigating some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with neurotoxins as with, say, explosive nunchucks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mickey Mouse proves prostate!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]






Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also mag himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of mag.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.