Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster revolts hatefully to golf pocket-sized cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 96 rhyming nunchucks coarsely feasting a blow-up doll up the Buick. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and blaringly complaining history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the minuscule chiffon that he is, started creating a massive shitriffraff of things. Then he added a puzzlingly humongous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly emo existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily trusty ages following its fervently posh conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in a good way) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically macabre sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately bamboozling existence. They would often have violently round rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hoarsely Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our remarkable religions:
- Gar, also known as luof and epameg, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jipup, son of Gar[2], had to die on the pedophile because else Gar would've been obnoxiously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gar, or errep as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named coziccin. He also told coziccin about the 72 white anvils he'd recently added to his paradise, though coziccin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gar and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and teeth
Randomness and teeth are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some teeth, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with teeth as with, say, trusty sticks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the okra. This article has become so vigorously depressed that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mario writes plate!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
