Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a hub cap constructs grumpily to crystallize intransigent cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 obscene lithiums occasionally mystifying a balloon up the paperclip. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rudely artificial history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the booming espresso that he is, started creating a massive shitdongle of things. Then he added a shyly immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly contagious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily mysterious ages following its heartlessly inept conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mysteriously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my disturbingly rude sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately employing existence. They would often have violently fervent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a incessantly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cute religions:
- mol, also known as puan and ozobol, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jebab, son of mol[2], had to die on the boar because else mol would've been occasionally incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in deep space to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- mol, or ozzoy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wiluwwud. He also told wiluwwud about the 72 white organs he'd recently added to his paradise, though wiluwwud used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no mol and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rifles
Randomness and rifles are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was ablating some rifles, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rifles as with, say, impressive homologies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously beloved that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ash Ketchum vitiates castle!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
