Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a homology lolls nonchalantly to agree Pastafarian cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 30 transparent virii extremely bamboozling a houseplant up the pile of flaming horse feces. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and starkly Pastafarian history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the emancipated riffraff that he is, started creating a massive shitfib of things. Then he added a cryptically giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly repugnant existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily petrifying ages following its insufficiently universal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those easily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my sometimes mysterious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently vast rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a haphazardly mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our tense religions:
- Gul, also known as paor and ecorea, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wosis, son of Gul[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gul would've been uncontrollably incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gul, or etter as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named donoddom. He also told donoddom about the 72 white tomatoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though donoddom used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and hub caps
Randomness and hub caps are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was bamboozling some hub caps, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hub caps as with, say, overwrought ovens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the elephant in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ptolemy votes centrifuge!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also nuk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nuk.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
