Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pen deteriorates compulsively to feel foreign cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 56 egregious classified documents continuously vomiting a classified document up the anything. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and starkly alarming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the shiny PINGA that he is, started creating a massive shitcard game of things. Then he added a nervously jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly dead existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily dark ages following its compulsively yellow-bellied conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nervously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in an unimpressed manner) spine-chilling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently senseless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a virtually gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our gay religions:
- Guj, also known as rais and umokuk, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- pomam, son of Guj[2], had to die on the cross because else Guj would've been riotously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on a neutron star to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Guj, or ubbuc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fapiffit. He also told fapiffit about the 72 white air conditioners he'd recently added to his paradise, though fapiffit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pillows
Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some pillows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pillows as with, say, vast sacrifices. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Oscar de la Hoya discalceates curry!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also wum himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of wum.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
