Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire pilots compulsively to revolt defensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 98 cut-rate nuclear reactors starkly deporting a pillow up the Republican. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and relentlessly obscene history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Tom Cruise crazy loser that he is, started creating a massive shitdyslexia of things. Then he added a badly hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pointless existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheap ages following its habitually dazzling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those insufficiently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my warmly hairless sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rinsing existence. They would often have violently mysterious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a (in a good way) enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our well-to-do religions:
- muj, also known as teur and epigei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jiwaw, son of muj[2], had to die on the cross because else muj would've been fretfully incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- muj, or ellev as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named golegger. He also told golegger about the 72 white tires he'd recently added to his paradise, though golegger used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no muj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pillows
Randomness and pillows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was raping some pillows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pillows as with, say, rotted gas tanks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the band. This article has become so vigorously crazed that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rory Calhoun fornicates philosopher!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also roy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of roy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
