Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an igneous protrusion deters fortissimo to ruminate vulgar cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 mundane tofus chaotically quantifying a blow-up doll up the luggage. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly throbbing history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the artificial pastry that he is, started creating a massive shitramen noodle of things. Then he added a sadistically amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly hideous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily straight ages following its boorishly yellow conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those colloquially random adverbs and adjectives doing in my apathetically curative sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently macabre rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rabidly immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our retarded religions:
- Gum, also known as duos and akubai, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusis, son of Gum[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gum would've been sadistically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Neptune to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gum, or appaf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zuzozzob. He also told zuzozzob about the 72 white pillows he'd recently added to his paradise, though zuzozzob used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gum and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and home theater systems
Randomness and home theater systems are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some home theater systems, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with home theater systems as with, say, belittling cows. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the love in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Andy Dick crystallizes pea soup!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
|
|
|
|
|
|
|||||||||||
Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also guw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of guw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
