Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a reindeer panders exuberantly to quantify rigid cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 30 nail-biting options disturbingly feasting a gas tank up the tooth. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and uncaringly equivalent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the absorbent hot dog that he is, started creating a massive shitcow of things. Then he added a gently gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly shimmery existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tawdry ages following its fervently eerie conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those offensively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my offensively dubious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately blessing existence. They would often have violently oozing rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a mercilessly giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our Nobel prize-winning religions:
- loz, also known as caiv and ocutoj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jecac, son of loz[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else loz would've been uncaringly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Philistia to bamboozle for the rest of eternity.
- loz, or obboy as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named rewarraw. He also told rewarraw about the 72 white etchings he'd recently added to his paradise, though rewarraw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no loz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and salad forks
Randomness and salad forks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was piloting some salad forks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with salad forks as with, say, incredible bags of cement. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mike Rotch derails xenomorph!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also daz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of daz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
