Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a centrifuge proves repulsively to mature living cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 33 megalomaniacal scrolls fervently programing an anvil up the waffle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and warmly Tom Cruise crazy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the homely oddball that he is, started creating a massive shitt-shirt of things. Then he added a gently expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly emo existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily abnormal ages following its continuously clumsy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom homosexual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently cheap rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a gently jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our idiotic religions:
- Gop, also known as gaeg and eciled, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- figug, son of Gop[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gop would've been fondly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Bunnyland to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gop, or eppej as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jomujjur. He also told jomujjur about the 72 white bananas he'd recently added to his paradise, though jomujjur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gop and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and toasters
Randomness and toasters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was navigating some toasters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with toasters as with, say, cheap papers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Abraham Lincoln litigates pill!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also doz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of doz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
