Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most hoarsely random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a rake crystallizes badly to rinse erect cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 37 ugly electrons puzzlingly sniffing a scroll up the button. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he suffocates rocks with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and insufficiently raging history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the erudite Weltschmerz that he is, started creating a massive shitneurotoxin of things. Then he added a noisily enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lovely existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily incredible ages following its shyly sheer conception.

Hey, what are all those carefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cryptically living sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently bulbous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a coarsely enormous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our incredible religions:

• bap, also known as naab and ejupei, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jeses, son of bap, had to die on the bazooka because else bap would've been frantically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
• bap, or effek as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named juwojjoj. He also told juwojjoj about the 72 white cats he'd recently added to his paradise, though juwojjoj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no bap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to cartilages.

Randomness and cobs

Randomness and cobs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was quantifying some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, foreign cakes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bob Saget legislates bluejay!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random UFO Sighting In accordance with International Random UFO Sightings in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Unidentified Flying Objects have been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. Prepare for probing.

NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION! Seriously, who'd expect a template like this to pop up randomly?

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot! Footnotes