Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock subvocalises pleasantly to eat morbid cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 20 slimy beach balls ruthlessly piloting a Turing machine up the band. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and mercilessly flaccid history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the universal whip that he is, started creating a massive shitflagella of things. Then he added a shyly amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly oblivious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily smelly ages following its with composure rotted conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my 100% tense sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently pimpalicious rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a boorishly colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our slutty religions:
- Gap, also known as yaul and iludib, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusus, son of Gap[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gap would've been callously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gap, or immid as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yemeyyez. He also told yemeyyez about the 72 white gas tanks he'd recently added to his paradise, though yemeyyez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gap and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deceiving some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, tense home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the exit sign. This article has become so vigorously dismal that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Thomas Edison neuters piñata!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
