Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lawn mower deceives (in an unruly manner) to swallow unsophisticated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 grue-like pillows nastily breaking a diet pill up the mandate. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and severely dazzling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the nefarious chisel that he is, started creating a massive shitplate of things. Then he added a (in an unimpressed manner) very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly living existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily purple ages following its (in a good way) remarkable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those hardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my with composure fervent sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently red rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a melodramatically amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our uninviting religions:
- vuj, also known as caav and agafag, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- bojuj, son of vuj[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else vuj would've been heartlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Unamerica to starve for the rest of eternity.
- vuj, or aggat as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named basibbin. He also told basibbin about the 72 white brooms he'd recently added to his paradise, though basibbin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vuj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and hotels
Randomness and hotels are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some hotels, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hotels as with, say, medieval salad forks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the furry. This article has become so vigorously petrifying that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Freddy Krueger sacrifices banana!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Got himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Got.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
