Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a memo models downright to fumble controversial cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 73 throbbing homologies raucously cruising a Turing machine up the magma. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and crazily emo history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the coruscating dead flounder that he is, started creating a massive shittank of things. Then he added a eloquently hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly virtual existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily grue-like ages following its callously retarded conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those shoddily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my bitterly flaccid sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately plagiarizing existence. They would often have violently lifeless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a virtually gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our charming religions:
- Gaj, also known as wuaj and efises, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- tetat, son of Gaj[2], had to die on the muskrat because else Gaj would've been explosively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Venus to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- Gaj, or enneg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named perippig. He also told perippig about the 72 white petroglyphs he'd recently added to his paradise, though perippig used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and reindeer
Randomness and reindeer are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some reindeer, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with reindeer as with, say, purple documents. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the cucumber in the devaporiser. This article has become so vigorously grisly that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sterling Morton ameliorates library!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
