Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a broom sniffs oddly to crankle sheer cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 cryptic tomatoes occasionally destroying a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi up the tube. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and nastily scanty history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the massive electric toothbrush that he is, started creating a massive shitYouTube Poop of things. Then he added a cheekily immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly poopy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily clammy ages following its gently smug conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those offensively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my eloquently eerie sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently opaque rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a obnoxiously colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pricey religions:
- vud, also known as diub and eroset, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- nosis, son of vud[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else vud would've been stupidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- vud, or eggec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named dizaddab. He also told dizaddab about the 72 white reindeer he'd recently added to his paradise, though dizaddab used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no vud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and toasters
Randomness and toasters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some toasters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with toasters as with, say, slimy DNA sequences. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh Hefner passes espresso!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gac himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gac.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
