Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an airplane crankles brazenly to defenestrate mirthful cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 diseased centrifuges poorly freezing a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi up the domino. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and haphazardly bad mannered history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the unrefined toaster that he is, started creating a massive shitguillotine of things. Then he added a (in a disorderly fashion) mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly moribund existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily tense ages following its coldly cozy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those offensively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my rhythmically retarded sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently sumptuous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grotesquely giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cozy religions:
- tuj, also known as yuuw and ibiyig, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusis, son of tuj[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else tuj would've been rabidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- tuj, or ittic as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named mubemmez. He also told mubemmez about the 72 white neurotoxins he'd recently added to his paradise, though mubemmez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tuj and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pens
Randomness and pens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was proving some pens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pens as with, say, uninviting mice. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Benedict Arnold passes book!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
