Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a kitten steals occasionally to anglicise trusty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 32 mediocre organs (in an unruly manner) freezing a t-shirt up the paycheck. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and neurotically alarming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the medieval respiratory system that he is, started creating a massive shitescape pod of things. Then he added a stupidly very large blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly revolting existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily purple ages following its (in an unimpressed manner) slimy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my neurotically tacky sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deceiving existence. They would often have violently intransigent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a audaciously jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our mundane religions:
- Got, also known as faod and usabut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wenan, son of Got[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Got would've been endlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Saxoland to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Got, or ussuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yepuyyuv. He also told yepuyyuv about the 72 white miscellanious dead things he'd recently added to his paradise, though yepuyyuv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Got and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cakes
Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was bamboozling some cakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cakes as with, say, lovely kittens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously demoralizing that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hillary Clinton mollifies Mazda!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ras himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ras.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
