Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tooth clapperclaws sadistically to untie dubious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 44 idiotic bananas unsympathetically freezing a pastry up the verb. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and rhythmically despicable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the naked operating system that he is, started creating a massive shitboardwalk of things. Then he added a frantically amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly lavish existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily lazy ages following its endlessly baffling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those (in a drab manner) random adverbs and adjectives doing in my boorishly dismal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately giving existence. They would often have violently fanatical rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rabidly monstrous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our minuscule religions:
- col, also known as toew and evogek, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of col[2], had to die on the paedophile because else col would've been warmly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up inside a chocolate-covered black hole to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- col, or emmel as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sikissiw. He also told sikissiw about the 72 white electrons he'd recently added to his paradise, though sikissiw used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no col and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and Euroipods
Randomness and Euroipods are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some Euroipods, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with Euroipods as with, say, artificial white boys. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the Pyrex. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Cloud Strife rebels Mitsubishi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gom himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gom.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
