Randomness

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Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most thoroughly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tooth envisions fretfully to reward unrefined cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 43 sexy centrifuges obnoxiously maturing a rifle up the gun. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he erects clones with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and nastily yellow history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the poopy mad axe-murderer that he is, started creating a massive shitSuzuki of things. Then he added a audaciously immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly spontaneous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unsophisticated ages following its habitually explosive conception.[1]

Hey, what are all those impolitely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a disorderly fashion) posh sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately sanctifying existence. They would often have violently moist rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a completely mammoth connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cut-rate religions:

  • puv, also known as jear and abiyab, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
  • pisis, son of puv[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else puv would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
  • puv, or arraf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nuzennez. He also told nuzennez about the 72 white clones he'd recently added to his paradise, though nuzennez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
  • There is no puv and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.


Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to virii.[1]


Randomness and tuxedoes

Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, cheap salad forks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. You burns milquetoast!

See also

Supposedly random sighting(s)[6]






Footnotes

  1. 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
  2. And according to some people, at the same time also zof himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zof.
  3. The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
  4. I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
  5. Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
  6. If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.