Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cowbell shaves badly to neuter ambiguous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 44 booming nunchucks shyly rinsing a politician up the mycobacterium. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and sadistically obscene history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tense drain cleaner that he is, started creating a massive shitsquid of things. Then he added a nonchalantly very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly puce existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily supercalifragilisticexpialidocious ages following its hatefully unpleased conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those suitably random adverbs and adjectives doing in my timidly unsophisticated sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately cruising existence. They would often have violently peculiar rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a grotesquely gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our foul religions:
- Got, also known as yeab and uvokuc, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josos, son of Got[2], had to die on the cross because else Got would've been completely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Got, or uggup as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zabizzil. He also told zabizzil about the 72 white lawn mowers he'd recently added to his paradise, though zabizzil used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Got and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and oysters
Randomness and oysters are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some oysters, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with oysters as with, say, forbidden rocks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the mountain in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Bob Barker ruminates contradiction!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gok.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
