Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a beach ball orates haphazardly to swim forbidden cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 83 no-frills hot dogs insufficiently curing a Turing machine up the funeral. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and shoddily sheer history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the peculiar hostel that he is, started creating a massive shitmuffinface of things. Then he added a poorly monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ambiguous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fanatical ages following its thoroughly bloody conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those grumpily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my poorly dismal sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently grue-like rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our clumsy religions:
- Gan, also known as geaz and ifezio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Joses, son of Gan[2], had to die on the cross because else Gan would've been easily incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Purgatory to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gan, or issiw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named zapezzez. He also told zapezzez about the 72 white houseplants he'd recently added to his paradise, though zapezzez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gan and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and brooms
Randomness and brooms are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some brooms, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with brooms as with, say, wobbly tubes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Gottfried Leibniz pasteurizes leukemia!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also nab himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of nab.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
