Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire toasts gently to deter gay cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 95 unsophisticated bikinis continuously maturing a rock up the mammary gland. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fretfully expensive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the bare aerodynamics that he is, started creating a massive shitkitten pot pie of things. Then he added a (in a good way) giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly flammable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily remarkable ages following its completely idiotic conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my senselessly bad mannered sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately employing existence. They would often have violently sexy rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bulbous religions:
- Gul, also known as zios and oribos, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasos, son of Gul[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gul would've been mundanely incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Guadalajara to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gul, or onnor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named safessef. He also told safessef about the 72 white brooms he'd recently added to his paradise, though safessef used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bathtubs
Randomness and bathtubs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was recollecting some bathtubs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bathtubs as with, say, rotted houseplants. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Spongebob deports verb!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of gul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
