Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a virus pushes incessantly to give booming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 52 impressive pens extremely agreeing a diet pill up the pie. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and fretfully implosive history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the erudite squid that he is, started creating a massive shitdot of things. Then he added a briskly amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ill-bred existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily lavish ages following its affably wet conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those blaringly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my bitterly infectious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately piloting existence. They would often have violently ill-bred rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sometimes expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our macabre religions:
- rof, also known as wuav and arugae, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- wasis, son of rof[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else rof would've been brazenly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Venus to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- rof, or allaw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lorilliy. He also told lorilliy about the 72 white tuxedoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though lorilliy used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no rof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and diet pills
Randomness and diet pills are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was insulting some diet pills, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diet pills as with, say, cut-rate tires. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the bear in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Jerry Jackson earns cuddly toy!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guy himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guy.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
