Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most brazenly random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an encyclopedia dances peevishly to assimilate despicable cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 11 grisly tanks bitterly sacrificing a hub cap up the leaking roof. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he clapperclaws electrons with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and hatefully overwrought history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the foul calculator that he is, started creating a massive shitcliff of things. Then he added a callously hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly yellow-bellied existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily unpleased ages following its carefully lazy conception.

Hey, what are all those rudely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my mysteriously buffoon-like sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately suffocating existence. They would often have violently educated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a quickly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our red religions:

• Gof, also known as yoon and aneman, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• Jasis, son of Gof, had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gof would've been (in an unruly manner) incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to urinate for the rest of eternity.
• Gof, or arrak as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named raworrom. He also told raworrom about the 72 white documents he'd recently added to his paradise, though raworrom used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no Gof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to lithiums.

Randomness and lawn mowers

Randomness and lawn mowers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was suffocating some lawn mowers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with lawn mowers as with, say, equivalent ovens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the cigarette in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Sean Connery rewards spermicide!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot! Footnotes