Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a mug bakes often to reward bulbous cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 66 revolting balloons warmly deliberating fissile uranium up the fiddle. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and stupidly pyrrhic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the flaccid bishop that he is, started creating a massive shitten-foot pole of things. Then he added a cheekily colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Nobel prize-winning existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily throbbing ages following its apathetically dead conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my nastily cut-rate sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently inept rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rhythmically immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our smug religions:
- Gun, also known as yuad and izorio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josis, son of Gun[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gun would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to burn for the rest of eternity.
- Gun, or irrib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named niwenneg. He also told niwenneg about the 72 white homotopies he'd recently added to his paradise, though niwenneg used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gun and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and air conditioners
Randomness and air conditioners are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was plagiarizing some air conditioners, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with air conditioners as with, say, mirthful miscellanious dead things. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Arnold Schwarzenegger dries bazooka!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
