Randomness

Many experts hail Jackson Pollock's No. 5 as the most nastily random painting of the randomist movement.

Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a home theater system rebels clearly to absolve mysterious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 55 sumptuous neurotoxins fortissimo modelling cartilage up the baby. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.

History

God as he rebels bikinis with two pointy flammable bananas.

Randomness has had a long and starkly XTREME history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the shitty tire that he is, started creating a massive shitnostalgia of things. Then he added a ruthlessly enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly infectious existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily homosexual ages following its offensively dark conception.

Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom lovely sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!

Randomness and science

Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately throwing existence. They would often have violently unreliable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.

Randomness and religion

Randomness and religion have had a oddly Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our beloved religions:

• ram, also known as ruib and afucau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
• bejoj, son of ram, had to die on the Mount Everest because else ram would've been apathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Paris to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
• ram, or aggad as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named demuddup. He also told demuddup about the 72 white jellybeans he'd recently added to his paradise, though demuddup used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
• There is no ram and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.

Here we see an image that is most likely completely unrelated to ricers.

Randomness and telephones

Randomness and telephones are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sniffing some telephones, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with telephones as with, say, senseless papers. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.

All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the operating theater. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Carlos Mencia rinses mitten!

See also

• Random-access memory
• Random gibberish
• Random humor
• Random Uncyclopedia article

Supposedly random sighting(s)

Random Elvis Sighting In accordance to the August 20th celebration of International Random Elvis Sighting in Uncyclopedia Articles Day, Elvis has been randomly sighted in this Uncyclopedia article. The King has left the building.

Oh my fucking God! An alien! Quick, <insert name here>, take a picture of it! Hurry, you fucking sloth! The camera is in your backpack you fat cunt-- Aww fuck, it crawled back into the Pyramid... Grrr! You've just wasted our only chance of ever proving that aliens exist on Earth, you frigging idiot! Footnotes