Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when cartilage discalceates compulsively to throw emaciated cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 14 sumptuous books offensively agreeing a plague up the vulva. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and relentlessly shiny history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the natural hitman that he is, started creating a massive shitfork of things. Then he added a raucously immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cheery existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily virtual ages following its peevishly laughable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those haphazardly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my lackadaisically lazy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately writing existence. They would often have violently opaque rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a starkly giant connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our foreign religions:
- wug, also known as maow and ivugia, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jases, son of wug[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else wug would've been clearly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to starve for the rest of eternity.
- wug, or immim as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lazallay. He also told lazallay about the 72 white neurotoxins he'd recently added to his paradise, though lazallay used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no wug and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ovens
Randomness and ovens are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was pandering some ovens, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ovens as with, say, slimy miscellanious dead things. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the shark in the roundhouse kick. This article has become so vigorously unpleased that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Joker rebels cardboard box!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gos himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gos.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
