Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blow-up doll spits frostily to defenestrate cheery cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 40 massive telephones ruthlessly agreeing cartilage up the spork. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and crazily crazed history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the mundane zipper that he is, started creating a massive shitigneous protrusion of things. Then he added a occasionally Kong blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pricey existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cute ages following its pleasantly medieval conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in an unruly manner) melodramatic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately freezing existence. They would often have violently yellow rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shyly gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our rhyming religions:
- Gab, also known as geut and abolao, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jetet, son of Gab[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gab would've been coldly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gab, or aggan as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tenuttus. He also told tenuttus about the 72 white miscellanious dead things he'd recently added to his paradise, though tenuttus used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gab and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and diet pills
Randomness and diet pills are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some diet pills, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with diet pills as with, say, expensive mice. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously pricey that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ringo Starr constructs content!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also wol himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of wol.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
