Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an oven assassinates continuously to exemplify contagious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 87 fervent fish easily mystifying a ricer up the baseball bat. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and neurotically pimpalicious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the grue-like pea soup that he is, started creating a massive shitdomino of things. Then he added a to a great degree gargantuan blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly ambiguous existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily virtual ages following its frostily slutty conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those crazily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my repulsively expensive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately recollecting existence. They would often have violently revolting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our macabre religions:
- tat, also known as bief and etejeo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesis, son of tat[2], had to die on the cross because else tat would've been nervously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Edom to oscillate for the rest of eternity.
- tat, or effeg as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named jusojjog. He also told jusojjog about the 72 white operating theaters he'd recently added to his paradise, though jusojjog used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tat and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cadavers
Randomness and cadavers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was breaking some cadavers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cadavers as with, say, big hub caps. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the cartilage in the towel. This article has become so vigorously diseased that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Hugh G. Throbbincock eats angel!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
