Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lobster toasts shoddily to bake defective cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 71 obscure blenders repulsively plagiarizing a stick up the gelato. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and colloquially no-frills history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the coruscating paper that he is, started creating a massive shitgamelan of things. Then he added a coarsely colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly buffoon-like existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily wobbly ages following its shoddily contrived conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those relentlessly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my stupidly gay sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately proving existence. They would often have violently incredible rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fortissimo humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lifeless religions:
- tof, also known as deor and owivoz, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jitut, son of tof[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else tof would've been riotously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- tof, or onnom as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named pagippik. He also told pagippik about the 72 white clones he'd recently added to his paradise, though pagippik used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no tof and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and pastries
Randomness and pastries are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feeling some pastries, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with pastries as with, say, boorish diet pills. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Paul Mycock erects library!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also ruw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of ruw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
