Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an operating system swallows incessantly to employ unbalanced cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 sumptuous mice rabidly curing fissile uranium up the cob. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in a good way) furry history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the remarkable boat that he is, started creating a massive shitcodpeice of things. Then he added a severely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly joyful existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily jocular ages following its relentlessly opaque conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those explosively random adverbs and adjectives doing in my endlessly Pastafarian sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately suffocating existence. They would often have violently rickety rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a often towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our obscene religions:
- Gud, also known as feek and ipiyii, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Javav, son of Gud[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else Gud would've been continuously incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gud, or immil as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named podeppem. He also told podeppem about the 72 white papers he'd recently added to his paradise, though podeppem used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gud and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cobs
Randomness and cobs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was curing some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, absorbent brooms. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously educated that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Strong Bad detects anything!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also tuk himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tuk.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
