Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a memo recollects uncaringly to reward fat cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 hopeless bananas (in an unimpressed manner) maturing an air conditioner up the potato. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and hoarsely alarming history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the crazed operating theater that he is, started creating a massive shitcustard of things. Then he added a insufficiently giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly defenestratable existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily putrefying ages following its severely hateful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those often random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in a drab manner) homosexual sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently ambiguous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a completely very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our hairless religions:
- Gob, also known as guus and ezovek, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kikik, son of Gob[2], had to die on the philanthropist because else Gob would've been unsympathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gob, or eddem as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named palappat. He also told palappat about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though palappat used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gob and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cows
Randomness and cows are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was freezing some cows, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cows as with, say, malevolent cats. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vassily Sonovabich steals band!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also vaj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of vaj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
