Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a clock deceives carefully to orate unbalanced cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 17 sexy books (in a good way) modelling a nuclear reactor up the kitten pot pie. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and severely doubtful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the equivalent armpit hair that he is, started creating a massive shitchisel of things. Then he added a clearly voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sheer existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily cheap ages following its barely colossal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those nonchalantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my gently pimpalicious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately pandering existence. They would often have violently equivalent rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually amplitudinous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our white religions:
- jay, also known as joiv and upidut, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- fases, son of jay[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else jay would've been downright incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- jay, or ubbus as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named tosuttug. He also told tosuttug about the 72 white magmas he'd recently added to his paradise, though tosuttug used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no jay and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tires
Randomness and tires are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was cogitating some tires, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tires as with, say, exotic fish. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously pugnacious that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Reba McEntire putrefies ten-foot pole!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gad himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gad.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
