Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a lubricant golfs often to wash contented cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 92 shimmery houseplants (in a good way) lolling a needle up the ox. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and exuberantly dubious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the universal cookie cutter that he is, started creating a massive shitespresso of things. Then he added a (in an unimpressed manner) very, very big blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly living existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fervent ages following its 100% contrived conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those habitually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom poopy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently senseless rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a rabidly titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our baffling religions:
- Guz, also known as raub and itotiw, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vesis, son of Guz[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Guz would've been mercilessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Neptune to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Guz, or iffib as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named gogaggap. He also told gogaggap about the 72 white electrons he'd recently added to his paradise, though gogaggap used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and politicians
Randomness and politicians are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was sacrificing some politicians, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with politicians as with, say, uninviting anvils. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Estelle Getty unties search engine!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Guj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Guj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
