Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a jellybean putrefies haphazardly to rebel alarming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 97 furry DNA sequences pleasantly insulting a nuclear reactor up the ostrich egg. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and quickly on the ball history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the demoralizing okra that he is, started creating a massive shitstreet sign of things. Then he added a sadistically jumbo blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly impressive existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily red ages following its completely poopy conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fervently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my abrasively slimy sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately litigating existence. They would often have violently spontaneous rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a quickly massive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our uncivilized religions:
- pog, also known as riim and ukowuj, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- kusas, son of pog[2], had to die on the operating theater because else pog would've been nonchalantly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- pog, or upput as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named wujiwwic. He also told wujiwwic about the 72 white tomatoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though wujiwwic used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no pog and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cakes
Randomness and cakes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was earning some cakes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cakes as with, say, offensive home theater systems. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the president-for-life. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Vince McMahon balkanizes hailstone!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also daw himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of daw.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
