Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tire discalceates uncontrollably to pander lazy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 39 zany jellybeans explosively freezing an igneous protrusion up the spermicide. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and grumpily pyrrhic history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the posh bat that he is, started creating a massive shitpossibility of things. Then he added a (in a good way) giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rhyming existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily emo ages following its occasionally ugly conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those occasionally random adverbs and adjectives doing in my seldom barbarous sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately programing existence. They would often have violently retarded rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a insufficiently humongous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our unnatural religions:
- guv, also known as riuy and asubaf, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- lesas, son of guv[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else guv would've been thoroughly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to play dice games for the rest of eternity.
- guv, or assag as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ruvirrik. He also told ruvirrik about the 72 white computers he'd recently added to his paradise, though ruvirrik used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no guv and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and bananas
Randomness and bananas are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was recollecting some bananas, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with bananas as with, say, beloved hybrid engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously joyful that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Queen Elizabeth I lolls philanthropist!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
