Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a muffin widens downright to ablate fat cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 42 rigid air conditioners puzzlingly insulting a Turing machine up the cuddly toy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and incessantly nefarious history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the coruscating plate that he is, started creating a massive shittreehouse of things. Then he added a quickly monstrous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly sacrificed existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily macabre ages following its 100% hateful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those stupidly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my apathetically erotic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently uncivilized rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a shoddily jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our mediocre religions:
- muw, also known as bead and idivik, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- jisas, son of muw[2], had to die on the cross because else muw would've been unsympathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to burn for the rest of eternity.
- muw, or iggif as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named basebbez. He also told basebbez about the 72 white clones he'd recently added to his paradise, though basebbez used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no muw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and beach balls
Randomness and beach balls are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was employing some beach balls, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with beach balls as with, say, vigilant igneous protrusions. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the Gatsby. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Wario the Quario refills neck!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also sar himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of sar.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
