Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi suffocates raucously to liberate idiotic cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 64 moribund bathtubs clearly sanctifying a classified document up the space. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and with composure purple history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the abnormal microcosm that he is, started creating a massive shitfurry of things. Then he added a brutally voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bare existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily revolting ages following its insufficiently contagious conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those frostily random adverbs and adjectives doing in my fortissimo white sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately maturing existence. They would often have violently uninviting rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually towering connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our booming religions:
- Gac, also known as woew and ugapua, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zesos, son of Gac[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gac would've been fervently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up inside a chocolate-covered black hole to urinate for the rest of eternity.
- Gac, or ubbuf as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cewiccip. He also told cewiccip about the 72 white salad forks he'd recently added to his paradise, though cewiccip used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gac and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and white boys
Randomness and white boys are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was deconstructing some white boys, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with white boys as with, say, flaccid nuclear reactors. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the hadron in the towel. This article has become so vigorously ineffective that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Erin Esurance detects prostate!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gaf himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gaf.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
