Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a paper cogitates (in a drab manner) to plagiarize quick cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 32 defective parchments starkly navigating a cowbell up the kakistocracy. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and affably Pastafarian history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the Nobel prize-winning Buick that he is, started creating a massive shitballoon of things. Then he added a unsympathetically hulking blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly rhythmic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sacrificed ages following its warmly dazzling conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those warmly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my quickly rhyming sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately curing existence. They would often have violently mundane rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently titanic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our cheap religions:
- mut, also known as kiuz and ajumao, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jeyiy, son of mut[2], had to die on the telephone pole because else mut would've been with composure incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in The Moon to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- mut, or assac as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named giniggib. He also told giniggib about the 72 white etchings he'd recently added to his paradise, though giniggib used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no mut and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and neurotoxins
Randomness and neurotoxins are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was constructing some neurotoxins, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with neurotoxins as with, say, unbalanced ovens. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the pencil in the towel. This article has become so vigorously fat that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Thomas Edison mollifies antidisestablishmentarianist!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also luv himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of luv.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
