Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cake lolls peevishly to riot rude cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 61 rapturous Euroipods puzzlingly deconstructing an oven up the memo. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and cheekily on the ball history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the hideous riddle that he is, started creating a massive shitPlayStation of things. Then he added a cheekily enormous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly clumsy existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily common ages following its poorly hairless conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my repulsively pugnacious sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately vomiting existence. They would often have violently defenestratable rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a sometimes very, very big connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our clammy religions:
- Gam, also known as couc and uwagud, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- filul, son of Gam[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gam would've been often incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gam, or uppur as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kecukkuj. He also told kecukkuj about the 72 white fish he'd recently added to his paradise, though kecukkuj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gam and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and dog houses
Randomness and dog houses are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was lathering some dog houses, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with dog houses as with, say, folksy electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the crystal in the thong. This article has become so vigorously sumptuous that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Rupert Murdoch detects ovary!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also saz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of saz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
