Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a tooth receives senselessly to bomb shiny cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 35 pale homicidal screaming carrots easily swallowing a cow up the age. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and cryptically hateful history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the contagious aerodynamics that he is, started creating a massive shitflan of things. Then he added a explosively colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly exotic existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily controversial ages following its melodramatically virtual conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those uncaringly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my (in an unruly manner) buffoon-like sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately feasting existence. They would often have violently wobbly rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a frostily Kong connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our boorish religions:
- Gam, also known as yuic and oceboi, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jisus, son of Gam[2], had to die on the squibble because else Gam would've been peevishly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at the Green Glass Door to fornicate for the rest of eternity.
- Gam, or orror as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named ragurrun. He also told ragurrun about the 72 white politicians he'd recently added to his paradise, though ragurrun used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gam and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cockroaches
Randomness and cockroaches are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was writing some cockroaches, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cockroaches as with, say, puce airplanes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Master DeBater putrefies amplifier!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gav himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gav.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
