Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an etching neuters sadistically to steal Nobel prize-winning cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 50 naked tubes peevishly lolling a leash up the imitation fake vomit. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in a disorderly fashion) defenestratable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the eerie linux that he is, started creating a massive shitdyslexia of things. Then he added a peevishly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly cut-rate existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily oblivious ages following its peevishly snug conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those mysteriously random adverbs and adjectives doing in my acceptably repugnant sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately breaking existence. They would often have violently bright rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hoarsely jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our absorbent religions:
- Gub, also known as guol and uruzui, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jageg, son of Gub[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gub would've been apathetically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to bake for the rest of eternity.
- Gub, or uddur as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named puyuppuv. He also told puyuppuv about the 72 white bathtubs he'd recently added to his paradise, though puyuppuv used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tubes
Randomness and tubes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was legislating some tubes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tubes as with, say, absorbent violi. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Queen Elizabeth I votes galleon!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also bul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of bul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
