Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a stick curates riotously to bomb oblivious cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 63 incompetent violoncelli not very writing a neurotoxin up the exhaust pipe. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and timidly sumptuous history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the smelly alfalfa that he is, started creating a massive shitectoplasm of things. Then he added a insufficiently voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly emo existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily obscure ages following its blaringly eerie conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those apathetically random adverbs and adjectives doing in my virtually wet sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately destroying existence. They would often have violently spine-chilling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a brazenly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our pricey religions:
- Gub, also known as ruul and aturaa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesos, son of Gub[2], had to die on the Aspergers because else Gub would've been repulsively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in HFIL to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gub, or assag as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bobobbok. He also told bobobbok about the 72 white documents he'd recently added to his paradise, though bobobbok used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gub and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and organs
Randomness and organs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was maturing some organs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with organs as with, say, rigid telephones. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the curry in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Ivan Jagginoff fumbles drain cleaner!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gup himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gup.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
