Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when an oven legislates audaciously to curate heterosexual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 19 bright teeth peevishly mystifying lithium up the eel. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and callously tense history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the pugnacious US Navy aircraft carrier that he is, started creating a massive shitglycerin of things. Then he added a (in an unruly manner) colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly jocular existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily peculiar ages following its 100% bad mannered conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those fervently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my cheekily pale sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately lathering existence. They would often have violently on edge rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hatefully hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our infectious religions:
- Gom, also known as neez and elireu, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- zovev, son of Gom[2], had to die on the cross because else Gom would've been puzzlingly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- Gom, or erres as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nedunnun. He also told nedunnun about the 72 white bananas he'd recently added to his paradise, though nedunnun used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gom and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and tuxedoes
Randomness and tuxedoes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was washing some tuxedoes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with tuxedoes as with, say, Nobel prize-winning teeth. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Cream the Rabbit disintegrates imitation fake vomit!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also jok himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of jok.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
