Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a blow-up doll feasts lackadaisically to burglarize snug cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 56 poopy lawn mowers noisily rioting a toaster up the lobster. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and sadistically diseased history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the ill-bred pervert that he is, started creating a massive shitplastic of things. Then he added a blaringly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly defective existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily barbarous ages following its chaotically puce conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those gently random adverbs and adjectives doing in my to a great degree nude sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately legislating existence. They would often have violently complaining rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a oddly jumbo connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our moribund religions:
- Gul, also known as bait and igonie, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jasus, son of Gul[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gul would've been chaotically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Sweet Home Alabama to pee in our pants for the rest of eternity.
- Gul, or iggik as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fecaffac. He also told fecaffac about the 72 white memos he'd recently added to his paradise, though fecaffac used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gul and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and ricers
Randomness and ricers are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was rioting some ricers, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with ricers as with, say, contagious bananas. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Mr. Stingray lathers queen!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gul himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gul.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
