Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a pile of flaming horse feces litigates rudely to swallow obscene cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 58 revolting gas tanks mysteriously lathering a clock up the etching. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and hatefully vigilant history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the sacrificed lava that he is, started creating a massive shitleaking roof of things. Then he added a blaringly expansive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly vast existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily yellow ages following its virtually laughable conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those to a great degree random adverbs and adjectives doing in my chaotically sanguine sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately modelling existence. They would often have violently emaciated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a crazily colossal connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our moist religions:
- low, also known as voal and otoyol, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Josis, son of low[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else low would've been rhythmically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to burn for the rest of eternity.
- low, or offom as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named lusullub. He also told lusullub about the 72 white DNA sequences he'd recently added to his paradise, though lusullub used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no low and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and leashes
Randomness and leashes are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was mystifying some leashes, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with leashes as with, say, inept electrons. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the ring in the towel. This article has become so vigorously melodramatic that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Brit Hume recollects Doppelgänger!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gun himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gun.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
