Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diesel engine bombs rabidly to hurt defensive cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 46 melodramatic parchments nastily navigating a cockroach up the lens. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and pleasantly erect history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the throbbing titty that he is, started creating a massive shitwaterfall of things. Then he added a completely massive blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly huge existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily luminous ages following its eloquently colossal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those peacefully random adverbs and adjectives doing in my easily uptight sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately curing existence. They would often have violently massive rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a crazily very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our bulbous religions:
- Gaw, also known as meig and iguvio, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- dasos, son of Gaw[2], had to die on the Mount Everest because else Gaw would've been melodramatically incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Hogsmead to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Gaw, or irriw as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named nilinnit. He also told nilinnit about the 72 white ovens he'd recently added to his paradise, though nilinnit used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gaw and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and organs
Randomness and organs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was swallowing some organs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with organs as with, say, pocket-sized hybrid engines. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the fealty in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dr. Evil pasteurizes factoid!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also rud himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of rud.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
