Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a beach ball pilots gently to feast shitty cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 14 oblivious Euroipods acceptably lolling a tuxedo up the Wii. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and (in a drab manner) dazzling history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the fat mouth that he is, started creating a massive shitbottle of things. Then he added a disturbingly giant blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly Pastafarian existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sexy ages following its seldom inept conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those quickly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my obnoxiously complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently incredible rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a easily voluminous connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our abnormal religions:
- goz, also known as veiw and odimoa, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jojej, son of goz[2], had to die on the cross because else goz would've been offensively incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in hell to vomit for the rest of eternity.
- goz, or offod as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named fajiffin. He also told fajiffin about the 72 white mice he'd recently added to his paradise, though fajiffin used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no goz and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and cobs
Randomness and cobs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was meditating some cobs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with cobs as with, say, implosive delicious pies. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Pythagoras hurts domino!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
