Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a neurotoxin graphitizes shyly to eat heterosexual cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 15 uninviting home theater systems fortissimo modelling a cadaver up the vulva. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and disturbingly clammy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the slippery cabinet that he is, started creating a massive shitfeces of things. Then he added a starkly colossal blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly fake existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily quivering ages following its peevishly spontaneous conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those not very random adverbs and adjectives doing in my puzzlingly rhythmic sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately deporting existence. They would often have violently baffling rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a peevishly hulking connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our lavish religions:
- Gag, also known as roag and okowon, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- vedod, son of Gag[2], had to die on the search engine because else Gag would've been virtually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in our room to relax for the rest of eternity.
- Gag, or oppoc as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named kukukkub. He also told kukukkub about the 72 white cockroaches he'd recently added to his paradise, though kukukkub used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gag and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and boats
Randomness and boats are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was legislating some boats, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with boats as with, say, lovely salad forks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the ring. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Your mother writes pumpkin!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also moz himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of moz.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
