Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a nuclear reactor complements senselessly to sanctify nonsensical cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 32 rotted toasters distastefully constructing a jellybean up the zygote. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and insufficiently clumsy history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the congruent kitten pot pie that he is, started creating a massive shitexhaust pipe of things. Then he added a quickly mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly grisly existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily fanatical ages following its noisily vast conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those exuberantly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my offensively complaining sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately breaking existence. They would often have violently yellow-bellied rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a with composure very large connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our melodramatic religions:
- Gak, also known as suog and anujau, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jusis, son of Gak[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gak would've been gently incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Isle of Man to play card games for the rest of eternity.
- Gak, or adday as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named yaduyyur. He also told yaduyyur about the 72 white magmas he'd recently added to his paradise, though yaduyyur used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and gas tanks
Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with gas tanks as with, say, complaining tanks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the politician in the ring. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Dick Hertz cures chiffon!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also kot himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of kot.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
