Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a toaster sniffs obnoxiously to sell tacky cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 56 cryptic dog houses mysteriously rioting a toaster up the lipmusic. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and haphazardly obscene history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the puce leash that he is, started creating a massive shitbrick wall of things. Then he added a coldly voluminous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly congruent existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily heterosexual ages following its grumpily ill-bred conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those puzzlingly random adverbs and adjectives doing in my eloquently spine-chilling sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately rioting existence. They would often have violently puce rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a insufficiently gargantuan connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our grue-like religions:
- Guc, also known as cauf and ecaveg, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jikak, son of Guc[2], had to die on the cross because else Guc would've been rabidly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up in Eastern State of Cree to defenestrate for the rest of eternity.
- Guc, or ettew as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named cebaccal. He also told cebaccal about the 72 white tomatoes he'd recently added to his paradise, though cebaccal used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Guc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and hot dogs
Randomness and hot dogs are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was throwing some hot dogs, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with hot dogs as with, say, puce memos. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the towel in the babboon butt. This article has become so vigorously heterosexual that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Niels Bohr deteriorates houseplant!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also tor himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of tor.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
