Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a cat constructs puzzlingly to burglarize rickety cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 65 universal bags of cement habitually plagiarizing a hub cap up the bomb. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and boorishly laughable history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the scanty tyrant that he is, started creating a massive shitoddball of things. Then he added a sadistically amplitudinous blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly bloody existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily megalomaniacal ages following its rhythmically sinister conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those barely random adverbs and adjectives doing in my callously purple sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately recollecting existence. They would often have violently joyful rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a habitually gigantic connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our grisly religions:
- Gak, also known as miok and etebev, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jivuv, son of Gak[2], had to die on the cross because else Gak would've been to a great degree incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up elsewhere to starve for the rest of eternity.
- Gak, or eppec as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bedebbek. He also told bedebbek about the 72 white clones he'd recently added to his paradise, though bedebbek used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gak and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and rocks
Randomness and rocks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was giving some rocks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with rocks as with, say, cute tubes. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the sarcoma in the towel. This article has become so vigorously random that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Galactus toasts limited edition, gold plated, autographed rabbi!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also zut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of zut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
