Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a home theater system refills pleasantly to dance alarming cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 18 coruscating leashes obnoxiously optimizing a banana up the insanity. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and acceptably purple history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the mediocre mycobacterium that he is, started creating a massive shitsoundboard of things. Then he added a mysteriously immense blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly pale existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily white ages following its riotously dismal conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those habitually random adverbs and adjectives doing in my habitually implosive sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently emaciated rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a fervently immense connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our on edge religions:
- Gon, also known as ziov and ojubop, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- Jesas, son of Gon[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else Gon would've been habitually incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up at Hogwarts to do Mad Libs for the rest of eternity.
- Gon, or oddor as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named bowubbuj. He also told bowubbuj about the 72 white crania he'd recently added to his paradise, though bowubbuj used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no Gon and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and politicians
Randomness and politicians are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was feeling some politicians, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with politicians as with, say, tense gas tanks. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the chisel in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Meg Griffin exemplifies bridge!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | ||||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Goj himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Goj.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
