Randomness
Randomness is a fascinating phenomenon that occurs when a diet pill deceives cryptically to overthrow poopy cunnilingus. Wait, what was I talking about? Oh right, randomness. Randomness occurs when there is a lack of order and/or predictability. As such, randomness is a clear example of 15 mysterious mailboxes abrasively sniffing a rifle up the cookie cutter. Hmm, that didn't seem to make any sense at all. Anyway, let's move on to the next part of this article.
History
Randomness has had a long and ruthlessly congruent history. It all started when God emerged from the void and, being the tense bunny that he is, started creating a massive shitaviator of things. Then he added a compulsively mammoth blob of apathy to the mix and voilà, randomness was brought into its utterly purple existence. Randomness continued to exist largely unaltered throughout the verily sacrificed ages following its (in a good way) hateful conception.[1]
Hey, what are all those brutally random adverbs and adjectives doing in my brutally hairless sentences? There! It happened again! Weird. Well, whatever. Next section, here we come!
Randomness and science
Randomness and science have had a passionate relationship ever since the latter came into its indiscriminately navigating existence. They would often have violently uptight rows, after which they'd completely ignore each other as if the other didn't exist, followed by hot make-up sex.
Randomness and religion
Randomness and religion have had a hatefully expansive connection throughout history. Just take the basic premises of a couple of our uncivilized religions:
- suc, also known as zeom and ozipoo, likes to boss people around, smite people he doesn't like and impregnate women.
- sapop, son of suc[2], had to die on the pile of hotdogs because else suc would've been heartlessly incapable of forgiving our sins and would've locked us all up on Bizarro World to party our asses off for the rest of eternity.
- suc, or oggow as he now preferred to be called, decided that all the names in the previous scriptures were off a little bit and dictated the most up to date scripture to a guy named sunussum. He also told sunussum about the 72 white igneous protrusions he'd recently added to his paradise, though sunussum used a random made-up word to describe the latter, causing much confusion afterwards.
- There is no suc and we should all live our lives according to the teachings of an androgynous guy who joined a grunge band and who's often mixed up with a tiny statue of a fat dude.
Randomness and gas tanks
Randomness and gas tanks are inherently linked notions. You can't have one without the other. I remember last time when I was destroying some gas tanks, the randomness was all over the place. Wait, what am I saying? Randomness has about as much to do with gas tanks as with, say, common crania. Man, the randomness is really getting to me.
All right people, I'm throwing the devaporiser in the towel. This article has become so vigorously predictable that it's effectively pointless to try to continue it. There's one thing I'd like to say in conclusion, however. Elvis Presley exercises frying pan!
See also
Supposedly random sighting(s)[6] | |||||||||||||||
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Footnotes
- ↑ 1.0 1.1 Though with randomness, you can't really be sure of anything. You never know when it's gonna stab you in the back.
- ↑ And according to some people, at the same time also Gut himself. This rumor was probably started by an elaborate troll that wanted to point out what random crazy things people will believe if you proclaim yourself to be a messenger of Gut.
- ↑ The place where this article is stored on your computer; for now at least.
- ↑ I.e. humor that utilizes randomness to be funny and thus inadvertently derandomizes said randomness.
- ↑ Warning! Randomness may not be suitable for younger audiences. Click at your own risk.
- ↑ If you're a rather unlucky character and aren't seeing any random sightings, click here to purge the page.
