From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation
Jump to search
The Worst 100 Reflections of the Year |
---|
| |
|
This is the official list of Uncyclopedia's Worst 100 Reflections on 2025.
Trump warned his masked adversary, "If you strike me down, I will rise up stronger than ever."
- Over 100, Most Ever. Donald Trump redux
- U.S. President Joe Biden, elected mostly to deny Trump a second term, becomes mostly the reason Trump gets a second term.
- 100. Hollywood burns in a wind-swept wildfire
- Talk about cancel culture burning careers. Meanwhile, Darth Vader takes an Escape Pod, again.
- 99. And where was the Mayor of L.A.?
- Karen Bass was junketing to Ghana, where President John Mahama beat Trump by 13 days at starting a non-consecutive second term.
- 98. Jimmy Carter gives up the ghost, the first U.S. President to reach 100
- "Forensic" lip-readers are hired to find out exactly what Trump and Barack Obama were yukking it up about at the funeral. It didn't take forensics to notice Kamala Harris scowling in the background. Americans suspect the death is another Biden gambit to distract from possible retrospectives as his own term comes to an end.
- 97. Justin Trudeau resigns as Prime Minister of Canada
- The PM-for-life suffers an unexpected and sudden loss of charisma after a visit to Florida to kiss candidate Donald Trump's ring. But the resignation was not to take effect until Springtime (not that Canada actually experiences Springtime) and the Parliament would be frozen in the meantime. We may never find out if he was Fidel Castro's love child.
- 96. Mark Carney becomes Canada's PM
- The finance-industry bigwig, in an early interview discussing negotiations with Trump, proves as tongue-tied as Kamala. No matter; Canucks finally have an alternative to Pierre Poilievre! Liberals' polling surges and the election is accelerated to April.
- Poilievre, previously known only for jousting with a reporter while munching an apple, watches presumptive ally Trump call him "stupid" and his 20-point lead in the polls vanish. He doubles down against Trudeau-ism and loses not only the election but his own seat in Parliament. Ouch.
- The vote turns into a referendum on Trump that Carney wins. Meanwhile, Canucks stock up on all the essentials they receive from the U.S. before Trump's tariffs kick in. It becomes a very short list.
- 95. Bashir Assad exits stage left as well
- The Syrian strongman faces a rebellion as his army rushes to surrender to the rebels on the off-chance that their paychecks won't bounce. Assad is given asylum and a borscht ration card in Russia. Israel takes advantage of the chaos to sink the Syrian navy, blow up the Air Force, and carve out new territory on the far side of Mount Hermon. Nearby Syrian goat-herders beg to be annexed.
- 94. Elon Musk is given a white Persian cat by SPECTRE
- The World President continues his struggle against Woke Europe with a new prop.
The illustration on the tweet
- 93. The closest we get all year to recognition by the real world
- On an X thread about Maine state reps raising their own pay, a Republican rep from New Hampshire proudly states that his pay is limited by the state constitution. Spike replies with a screenshot showing what Uncyclopedia has to say on the subject, which the Honorable gentleman says is "inaccurate and filled with outright lies....There are no per-diems, but we get mileage." He does not seem to notice the giveaway quip about reps being "rich, retired, or retarded", and certainly doesn't rebut it. One other poster smells an attack on Republicans. Would we do that?
- 92. Pope Francis meets his maker
- Argentinian born Pope Francis dies on Easter Monday after meeting Mr. Eyeliner — JD Vance. The American Vice President immediately presses for Donald Trump to be given the job. Trump accepts the challenge during a 100-day victory tour in Michigan — no term limits in the Vatican.
- To complement recent Popes John Paul I and John Paul II, bettors put odds on the new Pope being named George Ringo I.
- 91. White smoke appears
Pope Leo's first interview.
- The winner is Robert Prevost. His Chicago Holiness decides against doing business as Pope Guido II, instead picking Leo XIV in honour of the MGM lion "Leo the Lucky". A pope from America becomes palatable as he has a Peruvian passport as well, is a horrible driver, and promises to do a minimum of speaking in English. On the bonus side, Pope Leo understands the rules of baseball.
- Not just bettors but the devout begin looking for "tells" of the theme of his Papacy. Whenever he voted in a primary, he took a Republican ballot; but, in Leo XIII-like solidarity with the poor, he rooted for the White Sox rather than the Cubs.
- 90. Puppy-killer Kristi Noem visits El Salvador for inspiration
- The U.S. Homeland Security Secretary has her purse snatched by a Chilean gang member with an "I Love Dogs" tattoo on his biceps.
- 89. U.S. Defense Secretaty Pete Hegseth vows to stay off the booze for the rest of the year
- Gaffe-prone Hegseth asks his wife to hide the bottles.
- 88. Anthony Albanese triumphant in Australia
- As in Canada, the conservative challenger can not only not win enough seats to become PM but cannot win his own seat. News agencies scramble to be the first to blame Trump. Albanese demands his own Uncyclopedia article at long last.