Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Table of Contents

The Book of Moses called The Table of Contents is the zeroth book of the Old Testament of the Holy Bible.

Origin and Summary The Table of Contents was the very zeroeth book which God Himself inspired Moses to write, prior to Genesis, while sojourning in the wilderness of Sinai (not to be confused with The Old Book of Tricks, which contains amongst other things, The Oldest Trick in the Book). Originally written in Hebrew, and consisting of two chapters for a total of 66 verses, it lays out God's complete plan of redemption by listing (in sequence) the titles of every single other book of inspired scripture (and their corresponding page numbers) for all time to come. This is the clinching scriptural proof that the Protestant Canon alone is the complete and perfect Word of God.

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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

UnNews:Sarah Palin gets done doggy style

UnNews:David Blaine to die for our Sins

UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

UnNews:Chupacabras latest pet craze

UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

UnNews:Higher Power denies responsibility for dead bride

UnNews:Kansas education reforms: Do they go too far enough?

UnNews:Prophet strikes, Heaven grinds to halt

UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

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Quote of the Week

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

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