Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Faith

Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Godless Europeans blast US technological dominance

• UnNews:Communion gets a makeover. Meet: ‘Jesus Cakes'!

• UnNews:Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

• UnNews:Noah's ark to sail again

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao.”

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam Smith - Bahá'í - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - Divine Retribution - Evil Jesus - First Fundamentalist Church of Skepticism, Reformed - Grammatical Pantheon - Holy Week - Irreducible complexity - Jehovah's Witness - Khalil Gibran - Linguistic Creationism - Megatron - Organised religion - Prophecy - Qu'ran - Cliff Richard - Socialist Alternative - Theocracy - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Virtue - Wild Jews - Xenu - You have two cows/19 -

Zoroaster

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Angry Atheist - Bonsai - Cod - Discordianism - Exorcism - Feng shui - God Steiger - Horoscopes - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Rapist - Spiritual - Technocracy - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini