Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Flying Spaghetti Monster
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His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ultimate truth in the universe. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Pastafarianism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit, by use of his most holy noodly appendage.
Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student Bobby Henderson. He shall live on forever in the afterlife next to the Beer Volcano. Due to this incredible rebirth, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is now one of the world's most edible and fastest-growing religions.
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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”
- ~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - Black Metal - Church of Latte-Day Saints - December 21, 2012 - Existence of God - Fecundism strategy - Global Panic - Homosexuology - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jehovah - Kosher - Landover Baptist Church - Manic Street Preachers - Nun accelerator - Playing God - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an atheist/The Dead Serious Scrolls Version - Stan - The Divine Comedy - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Virtue - Wheel of Deities - XBible 360 - Yenta -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Belief - Confusionism - Discordianism - Episcopal Church - Feng shui - Greek mythology - Herpes - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mono - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Spiritual - Tsathoggua - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini