Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Faith

Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.

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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace

• UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Haggard feels "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Communion gets a makeover. Meet: ‘Jesus Cakes'!

• UnNews:Obama bows to Saudi king, triggers fall of Western Civilisation

• UnNews:OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow

• UnNews:Michael Jackson reassures fans that "Show will go on" despite untimely death.

• UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Apatheism - B4 - Cthulhu Day - Devilution - Existence of God - Fred Phelps - God/Funny version - Hieronymus Bosch - Ignatius of Loyola - Jew Beanie - KoShare - Loki - McJesus - Nintendo Eightfold Path - Patellaology - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an Atheist - Scientology - Theology - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Virtue - War on Science - XBible 360 - You have two cows/19 -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Anti-Semitism - Brahmin - Canonization - Doom .0068 - Existence - Fuck it - Ganesha - Heck - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Male Reproductive System: Attorney At Law - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Space Clowns - Televangelism - U2 - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini