Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Billy Graham
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Q: What did Jesus mean when He said the meek will "inherit the earth"? Am I supposed to be doing something to prepare? If so, what? — T. L.
A: First of all it's important to realize you are not alone in your worry. As you probably well know, it was during His Sermon on the Mount that Jesus said: "Blessed are the meek: for they shall inherit the earth" (Matthew 5:5).
This has caused no shortage of anxiety on the part of the meek, who are given to being rather squeamish in the first place. It throws at their feet a rather lofty goal, but with much key information omitted — specifically, who, how, and when? Does "meek" refer to the collective en masse, or a subset of duly appointed representatives? Are said individuals meeting in a lawyer's office for a reading of the will, at a table engaged in some sort of collective bargaining agreement, or meeting with the current owners over a cup of coffee for a straight exchange of ownership papers? When is this to occur exactly? Will God be sending one of His angelic representatives by for a chinwag about the particulars, or are we to be searching the earth and skies for some kind of sign? And what, God forbid, should happen if the time arrives and the current rulers of earth decide to renege on the agreement?
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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”
- ~ Dante on The Divine Comedy
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Afairyism - Bad Religion - Cult - Duct tape - Existence of God - Freedom of speech - Great Commission Ministries - Hieronymus Bosch - Irreducible complexity - Jizzlam - Kaspar Hauser - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Mugabetheism - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - Pope Linus - Qu'ran - Ray Comfort - Science - Teacher - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Virtue - Worshippers of the Absolutely Amazing Electric Jellyfish - Xenu - Yad -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Adam - Brahmin - Cyborg Jesus - Doom .0068 - Ed MacMahon - Fitna - God vs. New York - Heresy - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Male Reproductive System: Attorney At Law - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Spiritual - That 700 Club - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
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