Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God

“I am God, in my own little world.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Limitations of Superpowers as Applies to God

“I was an atheist, before I realized I was God!”

~ Simon Cowell on the many forms of God

Supernatural powers come in many forms, from the tingly spidey-sense of Spiderman to the Squeak-Vomit Attack of Pikachu. Of course the epynonymous hero, Superman, has a whole bunch of them.

But nobody is more super than the Christian God. Not even kryptonite can defeat His superpowers.

However, He is definitely limited in His abilities. more

(more...)

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Highlighted Image

Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:God sues for copyright infringement

• UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Chupacabras latest pet craze

• UnNews:Communion gets a makeover. Meet: ‘Jesus Cakes'!

• UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

• UnNews:Ireland Bans Clerical Child Sex Abuse

• UnNews:McDonald's Should Be Boycotted

• UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Azathoth and Nyarlathotep - B4 - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - December 21, 2012 - Evil - First Communion - Gnostic - HowTo:Avoid - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jesus and the Miracle 5 - Khalil Gibran - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Megatron - Nun accelerator - Prophet polywag - Quakerism - Robert Tilton - Scientamish - The Second Coming Project - Unitarian Universalism - Voidism - Walpurga (saint) - XBible 360 - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Atheist Doctrine - Baptism - Church of Buffy - Doomsday - Existence - Feng shui - Gud - Heresy - Intolerance - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Macintosh is Satan - New atheism - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Splenda - Technocracy - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini