Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Faith

Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope gets new hat

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Ahmadinejad: Holocaust Was Really Big Gay Jew Sex Party

• UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

• UnNews:Heaven to be outsourced

• UnNews:Falwell starts campaign against God

• UnNews:Increased sunspot activity cause for concern at Vatican

• UnNews:Mosque comments taken out of context

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - A.R.C. - Breathing - Chronikkah - December 21, 2012 - Eggnogsticism - Freedom of Expression - Global Panic - Haruhiism - Ignatius of Loyola - Jew - Karma - Landover Baptist Church - Maximus the Lesser - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - Protestant - Quakerism - Racism - Santaism - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unquotable:God - Voidism - Walpurga (saint) - XBible 360 - Yenta -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Bassism - Celebrity - Discordianism - Episcopal Church - Fourth World War - Gah - Heretic - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mentalist - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Space Clowns - Televangelism - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini