Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Atomic Mass

Atomic Mass is the church service held every Sunday for Christian Scientists. Pioneered in 1951 by Nobel Prize-winning chemist Glenn T. Seaborg, it is a highly modernized service that combines centuries-old Christian tradition with contemporary scientific concepts. Contrary to most uses of the name "Mass" for Christian services, Christian Scientists are not in fact in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church, retaining the name instead because of its scientific connotations.

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Highlighted Image

There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Godless Europeans blast US technological dominance

• UnNews:Coarse conduct confounds construction

• UnNews:Hey, that guy, you know, the one on South Park, he's dead

• UnNews:Noah's ark to sail again

• UnNews:Militant atheist violence continues

• UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Atheism - Bad Religion - Christian Science - Determinism - Evil Jesus - Family First Party - Great Commission Ministries - Haruhiism - ITSCON - Jehovah's Witness - Karma - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Miracles - Nintendo Eightfold Path - Passion of the Christ 2 - Qu'ran - Red Scapular - Schroedinger's Jesus - Theology - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Wild Jews - Xristianity - YHWH -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Archimedes - Bhagavad Gita - Celebrity - Duckism - Eris (Space) - Freeslam - God: The Interviews - Holiness - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - New atheism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Ramayana - Space Clowns - Shirley Temple - U2 - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini