Portal:Religion
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Walpurgis Night
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“Semantic shifts? I'll shift you, you tosser!”
- ~ Roger Moore (former James Bond) explaining the Walpurgis Night to a fellow attendee
The oft mentioned and generally popular quasi religious festival, Walpurgis Night is a cult descended from a German Witch ceremony celebrating summer on May 1. Rumours of a bi-annual event are in the offing with the recent New Age acquisition of several English towns.[1]
Initially religious significance was ascribed to the festival along with occult leanings; however the movement has survived several eras through sponsorship right up to the present day. Universality of many areas has been present though all the changes including a Bonfire and there is a refusal to acknowledge the celebration prior to the advent of the Gregorian calendar.
Corporate concerns are the chief purpose of the celebration today and it has been reported that several media conglomerates are planning a takeover. Tom Cruise has also announced that the Church of Scientology would like to purchase the copyrights for the event.
- ↑ Including Royston Vasey.
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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”
- ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Amen - Bible Thumper- Christian Science - Damnation - Eris Discordia - First Communion - Guy Fawkes - Hermaphrodite - Irreducible complexity - Judas Eukaryote - Kaspar Hauser - Landover Baptist Church - Mega Drive - Odin - Protestant - Quakerism - Ramtha - Sack Religion - The Great Flood - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Why?:They Hate Us? - Xenu - Yah-Weh-Oh! -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Adam - Bonsai - Colloquialism - Doomsday - Episcopal Church - Fuck it - Gay Jesus - Horoscopes - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Space Clowns - Twenty two - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
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