Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Creationist Views on Australia
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“It exists. I've been there.”
“Richard Dawkins has no more been to Australia than he has Narnia. In fact, if Dawkins did go to Narnia he would most probably be eaten by Aslan, who is, of course, a representation of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Jesus is not a lion.”
“But he could be if he wanted to.”
Creation science contends that as Australia is never mentioned in any section of the Bible, it doesn't actually exist. “There's a stark choice,” states ChristianScience.net: “You either believe in the teachings of our Lord Jesus or you believe there is a place called Australia!”
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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”
- ~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Atheism - Bracketology - Church - Determinism - Evil Jesus - First Fundamentalist Church of Skepticism, Reformed - Global Panic - HowTo:Avoid - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jehovah's Witnesses - Kaspar Hauser - Lo Pan's Razor - Mosques - Odin - Prophet polywag - Qu'ran - Rick James Version of the Bible - Scientamish - The Church of Tyra - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Why?:Join a Satanic cult - XBible 360 - Yad -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
Adam - Baal - Canonization - Discordianism - Exorcism - Faith - Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want - Holy Habits: Lingerie for Nuns - Intolerance - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Space Clowns - Trinity - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
Zucchini