Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

American Fundie Magazine

AFM, the magazine for "True Christians™", was formed to cater to the needs of the modern biblical fundamentalist.

By "modern" they mean "well before the Enlightenment", or as it says at the top of the Editor's page, "Because God Loved the Dark Ages".

The publishers of AFM felt that the views of America's oppressed Christian majority weren't getting out, so the magazine was started just for them. By "just for them" they mean the extreme right edge of American Christian society, the edge that knows an appropriate Scriptural quote for any occasion but chooses to ignore the useless and foolish good bits like forgiveness and humility and instead focus on the "I'm chosen, so "F" y'all" nature of the Old Testament.

(more...)

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:God sues for copyright infringement

• UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

• UnNews:America moves to execute porn stars

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Obama bows to Saudi king, triggers fall of Western Civilisation

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:MIT researchers win Millenium Prize for Mathematics

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“Dickness is a side effect of being human.”

~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Baker - Brian Tamaki - The Church of SharkJesus and the Latter Day Sharks - Dark side - Eggnogsticism - Fred Phelps - Godwins Law - httpism - Islam - Jerry Falwell - Karma - Linguistic Creationism - Magic Pantheism - Nun accelerator - Prophecy - Quakerism - Robert Tilton - Space Opera in Scientology - Teacher - Unquotable:God - Voidism - Wild Jews - Xenu - Yad -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Bhagavad Gita - Cyndi Lauper - Deity Election - Episcopal Church - Faith - Gah - Holy Market - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - San Andreas Fault - Shirley Temple - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini