Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

BRISTOL, England - George Fasarta, the Bristolian who claimed to have found God, has been charged with ‘Wasting Police Time’ by local police. Excitement spread all around the Christian world last week, as it was reported that Fasarta, a 42-year-old baker from the north of the city, had definitely located the Almighty who had been missing/presumed dead for almost 2000 years. But now police say they believe Fasarta was simply an attention seeker who repeatedly changed his story. more...

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Coarse conduct confounds construction

• UnNews:Hey, that guy, you know, the one on South Park, he's dead

• UnNews:Increased sunspot activity cause for concern at Vatican

• UnNews:MIT researchers win Millenium Prize for Mathematics

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - B4 - Colonialism - Darwinism - Existence of God - Freedom of speech - God v. Nietzsche - Holy Grail - Irreducible complexity - Jewish Dietary Laws - Kaspar Hauser - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Malevolent Design - Occult - Papercupism - Qu'ran - Reformed Church of Alfredo - Stem cell - The Church of Tyra - Unquotable:God - Voidism - Wheel of Deities - Xenu - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zoroaster

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Adam - Barbie doll worship - Chromosome 47 - Driver's License in the World Religions - Eastern Unorthodox - Fitna - Gerin oil - Holy cock - Intolerance - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Macintosh is Satan - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Santa Claus - Trinity - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini