Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture
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EARTH, Sol System -- The Rapture, long awaited by people who don't want to hang around to see how it all turns out, finally occurred this morning, catching even the most militant biblical literalists by surprise. At approximately two o'clock (GMT), various body parts of pious citizens across the globe simply disappeared.
"Yeah, my bad." apologized the archangel Michael at the post-Rapture press conference. "It's a numbers thing, you see. We'd initially planned for 144,000 male Jewish virgins 'plus guest', making for a maximum total of less than 300,000 people, body and soul."
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Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“It's the smart way to get out.”
- ~ Oscar Wilde on Jehovah witness protection program
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam and Eve - Bible belt - Cat-tholic - DinoJesus - Existence of God - Father Christmas - Gnostic - Hezbollah (Humanitarian Movement) - Intelligent Falling - Jewry - KoShare - Landover Baptist Church - Musicology - Organised religion - Prophecy - Qu'ran - Religious relic trading - Sith - Tibet - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Wheel of Deities - Xristianity - YHWH -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Bhagavad Gita - Courtnology - Driver's License in the World Religions - Existence - Freeslam - God Steiger - Heretic - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - Nun - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Ramayana - Samurai Lincoln - Shirley Temple - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini