Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Filial Piety
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Come here little grandson, and pull up a chair, ol' grandpa has to say something to you. What story am I going to be telling this time? Hah ha, no story tonight, Jimmy, I'm going to lecture you on something very important. It's time to learn about a little subject called "filial piety". Don't start fussing now, it's a very important subject to learn about when squirts like you start to grow up.
What is filial piety, Grandpa?[edit]
I was just about to get into that, Jimmy. Filial piety is a simple enough concept, often embraced by popular religions such as Confucianism and Christianity. Now, you're Christian but you don't know what filial piety is, right? That's because the heads of your religion decided to muck up the phrase and replace it with a simplistic platitude such as "love your mom and pop". But I digress, I'll talk to you about religion some other day.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“Dickness is a side effect of being human.”
- ~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam Smith - Buddhism - Crisis in Infinite Jerusalems - Darwinism - Eggnogsticism - Father Christmas - God v. Nietzsche - Hezbollah (Humanitarian Movement) - ITSCON - Judas Eukaryote - KoShare - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Miracles - Occult - Prophet polywag - Qu'ran - Raptor Jesus - Santanism - The Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - Xristianity - YHWH -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
Archimedes - Barbie doll worship - Church of Awesomeness - Deity Election - Easter of the Living Dead - Feng shui - Gah - Horoscopes - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mass (church) - New atheism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Space Clowns - The gospel according to Jim - U2 - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
Zucchini