Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Faith
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Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”
- ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam and Eve - Brian Tamaki - Cult of Relativity - Deviled eggs - Evil Jesus - Fecundism strategy - God Hates Fags - Hermaphrodite - Intelligent Design By Committee - Joan of Arc - Klestosapharot - Linguistic Creationism - Multi religion switching - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - Passion of the Christ 2 - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an Atheist - Seven ages of man - The Second Coming Project - Unitarian Universalism - Virtue - Walkentology - Xenu - Yah-Weh-Oh! -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Angry Atheist - Bhagavad Gita - Confusionism - Discordianism - Eris (Space) - Fuck it - Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want - Holy - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Quakers - Ramayana - Smart - The Ten Plagues of Egypt - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini