Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness
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Hello son. Yes, you, my boy. I've seen you knocking on the doors of those people. Why is not important. So you say you've been brutally raping anyone who answers, but God forgives. Sodomy and murder are simply stepping-stones to be overcome. Well, I would like to help you with this. I do not know how to ask this of someone who's actually listening, so I suppose I'll just come out and say it. Do you know that the world is due to end soon? We said that the world would end many times, the last time in 1975. We were wrong before but we’re sure we’re right now.
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If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”
- ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Buddhism - Confucianism - Damnation - Evil Jesus - Freedom of speech - God Hates Fags - Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition - Irreducible complexity - Judyism - Klestosapharot - Landover Baptist Church - Mugabetheism - Necrophilia - Prophecy - Quakerism - Ray Comfort - Santaism - The Holy Goh - Unitarian Universalism - Voidism - Wild Jews - XBible 360 - YHWH -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Angry Atheist - Barbie doll worship - Celebrity - Driver's License in the World Religions - Ed MacMahon - Feng shui - God-Fearing Republicans - Holy Habits: Lingerie for Nuns - Intolerance - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Rapist - Splenda - Tao - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini