Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

“He did too much LDS back in the Sixties.”

~ James T. Kirk on Spock

“Go forth and multiply!”

~ Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on The Meaning of Life

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the official mascot for the Church of Later Day Saints, a satirical parody of the Roman Catholic Church (as if the Catholics weren't funny enough). He is essentially the same as regular Jesus, only he happens to be blonde and 100% pure, red-blooded American (not to be confused with Stephen Colbert). Disgruntled fans consider him an Expanded Universe addition only, and discount that Jesus ever had blonde hair, since he was a Palestinian Jew and all.

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Highlighted Image

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

• UnNews:Chupacabras latest pet craze

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

• UnNews:Ireland Bans Clerical Child Sex Abuse

• UnNews:MIT researchers win Millenium Prize for Mathematics

• UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Apatheism - Breathing - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - Demons - Eggnogsticism - Fecundism strategy - Guy Fawkes - Holy Week - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jehovah's Witness - Klestosapharot - Landover Baptist Church - Maximus the Lesser - Odin - Pope Anacletus - Quakerism - Rick James Version of the Bible - Stigmata - The Church of Tyra - Unquotable:God - Virtue - Walpurgisnacht - Xenu - Yiddish -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Anti-Semitism - Bonsai - Colloquialism - Discordianism - Existence - Fitna - God Steiger - Hi-fi - Intolerance - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Spiritual - Shirley Temple - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini