Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Table of Contents
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The Book of Moses called The Table of Contents is the zeroth book of the Old Testament of the Holy Bible.
Origin and Summary The Table of Contents was the very zeroeth book which God Himself inspired Moses to write, prior to Genesis, while sojourning in the wilderness of Sinai (not to be confused with The Old Book of Tricks, which contains amongst other things, The Oldest Trick in the Book). Originally written in Hebrew, and consisting of two chapters for a total of 66 verses, it lays out God's complete plan of redemption by listing (in sequence) the titles of every single other book of inspired scripture (and their corresponding page numbers) for all time to come. This is the clinching scriptural proof that the Protestant Canon alone is the complete and perfect Word of God.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“If you don't agree with absolutely everything I say that means God hates you and you are going to Hell”
- ~ Fred Phelps on Everyone.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam and Eve - Boristany - Cyborg Judas - Divine Retribution - Evil - Fourier Transform - Goth - Hebrew - Islam - Jew - Klestosapharot - Linguistic Creationism - Meaning of life - Necrophilia - Prophet polywag - Quakerism - Red Scapular - Sith - The Force - Unquotable:God - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - XBible 360 - Yenta -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Adam - Baptism - Canonization - Duckism - Eastern Unorthodox - Feng shui - Genesis - Holy cock - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mass (church) - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - Splenda - The Midnight Sun - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini