Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation
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Greetings devout follower! If you're reading this book, congratulations. You have taken the first step towards being cured of your "little problem." The first thing the reader must understand is this: If you truly wish to quit, it must be a decision. You cannot say, "oh, wouldn't it be nice if I no longer needed to wank four or five times a day," or "boy, it sure would be lovely if I had to spend less money on tissues and door locks;" you must DECIDE to stop masturbating. Only when you truly decide to stop masturbating and be cured of your problem can you be cured of your problem, and stop masturbating.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”
- ~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Aniassism - B4 - Change - Deviled eggs - Eris Discordia - Freedom of speech - Guy Fawkes - Hyena blazing - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jesus Christ - Alcoholic - Klestosapharot - Loki - Mazda - Nintendo Eightfold Path - Ponyism - Quakerism - Racism - Solid Gold - Talibanland - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - Xristianity - Yenta -
ZephyrReligious Articles That Need Help
Anti-Semitism - Bill Bennett - Confusionism - Discordianism - Eastern Unorthodox - Freeslam - Greek mythology - Heretic - Intolerance - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mass (church) - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Ramayana - Santa Claus - Technocracy - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -
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