Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation
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Greetings devout follower! If you're reading this book, congratulations. You have taken the first step towards being cured of your "little problem." The first thing the reader must understand is this: If you truly wish to quit, it must be a decision. You cannot say, "oh, wouldn't it be nice if I no longer needed to wank four or five times a day," or "boy, it sure would be lovely if I had to spend less money on tissues and door locks;" you must DECIDE to stop masturbating. Only when you truly decide to stop masturbating and be cured of your problem can you be cured of your problem, and stop masturbating.
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If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“Dickness is a side effect of being human.”
- ~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Apple iTunes - Jamshid Bauerdinedshad - Change Management - Dark side - Eggnogsticism - Freedom of Expression - Guy Fawkes - Holy Week - Intelligent Falling - Jew - Kaspar Hauser - Landover Baptist Church - Megatron - Nun accelerator - Papercupism - Quakerism - Religious relic trading - Saint Augustine - The Divine Comedy - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - What was God thinking!? - Xenu - Yenta -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Allah's law - Barbie doll worship - Colloquialism - Driver's License in the World Religions - Exorcism - Faith - Gerin oil - Holy Habits: Lingerie for Nuns - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monotheism - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Santa Claus - Technocracy - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini