Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Creationist Views on Australia
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“It exists. I've been there.”
“Richard Dawkins has no more been to Australia than he has Narnia. In fact, if Dawkins did go to Narnia he would most probably be eaten by Aslan, who is, of course, a representation of the Lord Jesus Christ.”
“Jesus is not a lion.”
“But he could be if he wanted to.”
Creation science contends that as Australia is never mentioned in any section of the Bible, it doesn't actually exist. “There's a stark choice,” states ChristianScience.net: “You either believe in the teachings of our Lord Jesus or you believe there is a place called Australia!”
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Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“That was Zen, this is Tao.”
- ~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Aniassism - Bible Thumper- Creationism - Deviled eggs - Evil Jesus - Fred Phelps - Guy Fawkes - Hezbollah (Humanitarian Movement) - Ignatius of Loyola - Judas Eukaryote - Karma - Landover Baptist Church - Mexican Jesus - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - Poutine - Qu'ran - Racism - Salvation - The Great Flood - Unquotable:God - Virtue - Wild Jews - Xristianity - You have two cows/19 -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Anti-Semitism - Bhagavad Gita - Cheating - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Fitna - Ganesha - Hi-fi - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Macintosh is Satan - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - Smart - Tsathoggua - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -
Zucchini