Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnNews:Stop dressing like whores, you whores!

BNEI BRAK, Israel -- Local conservative rabbis are sick with worry, anxiety and unease at the increasing popularity of practical, comfortable fashions; more so even than the worry, anxiety and unease that causes their usual kvetching. After much bickering they have responded with the tact, sensitivity and delicate touch for which fundamentalists of all stripes are known; by burning down stores that sell offensive clothing and spraying bleach on women that Rabbi Yosef Elyashiv refers to as "...those nasty whores with their whore legs, whore skin and whore bulges. Whores!".

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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

• UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

• UnNews:America moves to execute porn stars

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Papal proclamation to procure profit for prophet

• UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

• UnNews:Ireland Bans Clerical Child Sex Abuse

• UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

• UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

• UnNews:Taliban vows to wipe out literacy in our lifetimes

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Quote of the Week

“Unputdownable!”

~ Bruce Campbell on Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnostic - Beer - Crisis in Infinite Jerusalems - December 21, 2012 - Eggnogsticism - First Communion - Guy Fawkes - Holy Week - Ignatius of Loyola - Jehovah - Kabbalah - Loki - Match of Nazaret - New Clothes, (Emperor's), The - Passion of the Christ 2 - Qu'ran - Ray Comfort - Santaism - The Baker - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Wicca - Xristianity - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Baal - Church of Sony - Doom .0068 - Existence - Freeslam - Greek mythology - HowTo:Believe in ALLAH! - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Macintosh is Satan - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Ramayana - Samurai Lincoln - John Travolta - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini