Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah

Every Jew

Down in Jewville

Liked Hanukkah a lot,

But some Putz,

Who lived just East of Jewville,

Did not!

That Putz hated Hanukkah!

The whole holiday season!

Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his bomb wasn't strapped on quite right.

It could be, perhaps, that his turban was too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his beard was two sizes too small.

more...

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Highlighted Image

There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope gets new hat

• UnNews:David Blaine to die for our Sins

• UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

• UnNews:Godless Europeans blast US technological dominance

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

• UnNews:OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow

• UnNews:Militant atheist violence continues

• UnNews:Roman Catholic Church changes name to "We Hate Abortion"

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

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Quote of the Week

“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnostic - Bible Adventures - Colonialism - December 21, 2012 - Evil - First Communion - God v. Nietzsche - HowTo:Find God - Is the bear a Catholic? - Joan of Arc - Khalil Gibran - Landover Baptist Church - Monk seal - Necrophilia - Pope Anacletus - Qu'ran - Rambo - Sadism - Totally Torah: Genesis - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Worshippers of the Absolutely Amazing Electric Jellyfish - Xenu - YHWH -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Barbie doll worship - Church of Sony - Driver's License in the World Religions - Eastern Unorthodox - Fitna - Ganesha - Hedgehog - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - New atheism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - Smart - The Holy Ghost - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini