Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints[edit]

“He did too much LDS back in the Sixties.”
~ James T. Kirk on Spock

“Go forth and multiply!”
~ Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints on The Meaning of Life

Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the official mascot for the Church of Later Day Saints, a satirical parody of the Roman Catholic Church (as if the Catholics weren't funny enough). He is essentially the same as regular Jesus, only he happens to be blonde and 100% pure, red-blooded American (not to be confused with Stephen Colbert). Disgruntled fans consider him an Expanded Universe addition only, and discount that Jesus ever had blonde hair, since he was a Palestinian Jew and all.

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The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

UnNews:Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace

UnNews:God Sues for Copyright Infringement

UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

UnNews:Haggard feels "fabulous!"

UnNews:Communion gets a makeover. Meet: ‘Jesus Cakes'!

UnNews:Dinesh D'souza on the real problem with Newtonism

UnNews:Irish Duckists rebel

UnNews:Millionaire ordered to demolish giant volcano moon base after 'secretly' building laser doomsday weapon

UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

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