Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Fundagelical Christianity
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This girl at my school is a Fundagelical Christian[1] or something like that. She always wears these shirts that say "God will save you" which I know is bullshit, because that God dude didn't do shit to save me from getting caught by the cops for putting that Hamster in the microwave at the gas station down the street. Hey, the sign said "Free for use", it's not my fault they didn't specify the use. And anyway, I don't see the need for handcuffs. It's not like it was my hamster in the first place.
Fundagelical Christians are also often seen with bumper stickers saying such messages as "Jesus loves you" and have that stupid little fish logo. They are responsible for any corny sayings with the word "Jesus" or "God" in them.
But I'm wandering from my main point, which is that Fundagelical Christianity is very confusing.
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The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”
- ~ God on Apatheism
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Atheism (religion) - Bible belt - Cthulhu - Divine Retribution - Eggnogsticism - Father Christmas - Great Commission Ministries - Hieronymus Bosch - Islam - Judas Eukaryote - Kosher - Linguistic Creationism - Muslim - N00bl3ss3 0bl1ghey - Prophet polywag - Quakerism - Keanu Reeves - Scientamish - Thetans - Unquotable:God - Virtue - What was God thinking!? - Xenu - Yad -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Archimedes - Bill Bennett - Comcast - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Freeslam - God 2.0 - Heck - It's hard out here for a pimp - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Ramayana - San Andreas Fault - Technocracy - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -
Zucchini