Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Church of God the Wholly Incompetent
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The Church of God the Wholly Incompetent is a Christian church based mainly in North America and Western Europe. Adherents believe God is omnipotent but generally unqualified for His role as deity, citing the Great Flood, the Roman Empire and their own personal failings as proof. Worldwide membership was 30.5 million in 2006.
The sect has been controversial since its foundation, and faced persecution in several countries for its allegedly heterodox views. The church (whose followers are known as "compies") believes in a "fractured Trinity", holding that Jesus is the Son of God but "got in over his head" when he let himself die on the cross. Compies deny the resurrection, arguing that Jesus is still knocking around somewhere below the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, a victim of God's omniuselessness. Where other sects revere Early Christian martyrs as witnesses of Christ's message, the Wholly Incompetent Church believes their deaths are a prime example of God's fumbling, bumbling ways.
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The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“That was Zen, this is Tao.”
- ~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Apatheism - Boristany - Christianity - Determinism - Evil Jesus - First Communion - Goth - Hyena blazing - Islam - Judas Eukaryote - Karma - Lo Pan's Razor - Malevolent Design - Odin - Pope Peter - Qu'ran - Reformed Church of Alfredo - Soul - Teacher - Unitarian Universalism - Virtue - Walkentology - XBible 360 - You have two cows/19 -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Anti-Semitism - Bonsai - Colloquialism - Duckism - Eucharist - Fitna - God Steiger - Heresy - Intolerance - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Male Reproductive System: Attorney At Law - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Rapist - Smart - John Travolta - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
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