Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Answers in Genesis
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Answers in Genesis is a satirical Christian ministry that parodies the genuine Pastafarian ministry Answers in the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It aims to portray Christians as mouth breathing, arm swinging retards who sit on their high horse and spend all day whining about how horrible the world is today and how oh so nice it was during the Dark Ages.
The website often has joke articles which say things like "Darwinism is the central column of laissez-faire economics and Stalinism" (capitalism and communism at the same time - I guess it's easy to hit opposite sides at the same time when you're continually beating a dead horse) and "the secular parts of the world are morally corrupt; I'd much rather live in Saudi Arabia than in France". Sarcastic comments like this are made by world renowned stand up comedian, Oxford nerd and atheist Richard Dawkins.
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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”
- ~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Baphomet - Church of Later Day Saints - December 21, 2012 - Existence of God - Fourier Transform - Great Commission Ministries - Hinduism - Irreducible complexity - Jew - Kosher - Lutheranism - Megatron - Nun accelerator - Poutine - Quakerism - Reincarnation - Saint - The Seven Not-So-Deadly Sins - Unitarian Universalism - Virtue - Wicca - XBible 360 - Yenta -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Barbie doll worship - Cthulhu v. Japan - Doom .0068 - Eris (Space) - Freeslam - Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want - Heck - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Magnetism - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Ramayana - Santa Claus - Technocracy - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
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