Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Dake-Bonoism

Dake-Bonoism is a modern synthesis of the pentecostal teachings of the late Rev. Finis Jennings Dake and lyrical writings of Bono (lead singer for the popular Irish band U2). Dake-Bonoism is controversial to many because it combines the worlds of rock music and fundagelical Christianity. Many in both camps see these as incompatible with each other.

Sources of Inspiration[edit]

Dake-Bonoists accept the plenary inspiration of the Protestant, King James Version Bible as authoritative and complete for matters of doctrine and discipline. They also accept two other primary sources of inspiration:

the articles and notes authored by Rev. Dake, as contained in the Dake Annotated Reference Bible (commonly known as the Dake Study Bible); and

the song lyrics penned by Bono for U2's studio albums.

The movement views the Dake and Bono materials as harmonizing in a way that can only be described as Providential. The combination of the two inspired sources provides an unbeatable combination of theology, poetry, wisdom, and stylishness.

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If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

UnNews:Conservapedia demands proof for the existence of science

UnNews:Falwell starts campaign against God

UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

UnNews:National Day of Prayer ruined by godless protestors

UnNews:Prophet strikes, Heaven grinds to halt

UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

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