Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness

Hello son. Yes, you, my boy. I've seen you knocking on the doors of those people. Why is not important. So you say you've been brutally raping anyone who answers, but God forgives. Sodomy and murder are simply stepping-stones to be overcome. Well, I would like to help you with this. I do not know how to ask this of someone who's actually listening, so I suppose I'll just come out and say it. Do you know that the world is due to end soon? We said that the world would end many times, the last time in 1975. We were wrong before but we’re sure we’re right now.

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Highlighted Image

Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

• UnNews:God Sues for Copyright Infringement

• UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

• UnNews:Chuck Norris on secularism: the single greatest threat that America has ever faced

• UnNews:Couple goes to Kingdom Hall by mistake

• UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:McDonald's Should Be Boycotted

• UnNews:Prophet strikes, Heaven grinds to halt

• UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

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Quote of the Week

“Unputdownable!”

~ Bruce Campbell on Necronomicon Ex Mortis.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Beatlefication - Cult of Relativity - Dark Lord - Evil Jesus - First Communion - Godwins Law - Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition - Irreducible complexity - Jehovah - KoShare - Lo Pan's Razor - Miracles - Noddy - Passion of the Christ 2 - Quakerism - Robert Tilton - Schroedinger's Jesus - Teacher - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - What was God thinking!? - XBible 360 - Yiddish -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Angry Atheist - Belief - Confusionism - Driver's License in the World Religions - Easter of the Living Dead - Freeslam - Gud - Horoscopes - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Smart - Televangelism - U2 - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini