Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

BRISTOL, England - George Fasarta, the Bristolian who claimed to have found God, has been charged with ‘Wasting Police Time’ by local police. Excitement spread all around the Christian world last week, as it was reported that Fasarta, a 42-year-old baker from the north of the city, had definitely located the Almighty who had been missing/presumed dead for almost 2000 years. But now police say they believe Fasarta was simply an attention seeker who repeatedly changed his story. more...

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Highlighted Image

There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

• UnNews:Couple goes to Kingdom Hall by mistake

• UnNews:Elsuive Duckist killing Sheep release statement

• UnNews:Noah's ark to sail again

• UnNews:Joshua leads Israelite Defense Force to victory

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“It's the smart way to get out.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jehovah witness protection program

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Adam Smith - B4 - Crisis in Infinite Jerusalems - Dark Lord - Evil Jesus - Freedom of Expression - Grammatical Pantheon - Hebrew - Islam - Jerry Falwell - Kaspar Hauser - Landover Baptist Church - Mormons - Nun accelerator - Pope Peter - Quakerism - Requiem Republicam - Scientology - Tibet - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Walkentology - Xristianity - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Adam - Bill (son of God) - Confession - Driver's License in the World Religions - Eris (Space) - Fuck it - Gerin oil - Holy cock - Intolerance - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Space Clowns - Theist - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini