Portal:Religion

Uncyclopedia Portals

Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.

By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

edit

Highlighted Featured Article

Confession (Catholicism)

Confession of sins is an integral part of the Catholic faith and practice. The meaning of the word confession, in a Catholic sense, is essentially the same as in the criminal. Confessional inquisitions operate in a similar way to the courts, during confession Believers are considered guilty, until proven exceptionally guilty. To save time penitents are encouraged to admit their 'vile lust of the flesh', 'drooling sin of the eyes', and 'limping pride of the phallus'. The penitent must admit these crimes so the priest may 'cure' them of their debauched animal desire with the bitter medicine of guilt. For these reasons confession of one's sins, or at least of one's sinfulness, is seen by many churches as a prerequisite for becoming a Christian.

more...

edit

Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

edit

Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

edit

Religion in the News

UnNews:Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace

UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible

UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

UnNews:Heaven to be outsourced

UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

UnNews:Irish Duckists Storm The Beaches of Derry and Antrim

UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

edit

Quote of the Week

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

edit