Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

HowTo:Be a Jehovah's Witness

Hello son. Yes, you, my boy. I've seen you knocking on the doors of those people. Why is not important. So you say you've been brutally raping anyone who answers, but God forgives. Sodomy and murder are simply stepping-stones to be overcome. Well, I would like to help you with this. I do not know how to ask this of someone who's actually listening, so I suppose I'll just come out and say it. Do you know that the world is due to end soon? We said that the world would end many times, the last time in 1975. We were wrong before but we’re sure we’re right now.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Man who claimed to have found God arrested for wasting police time

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

• UnNews:Irish Duckists Storm The Beaches of Derry and Antrim

• UnNews:MIT researchers win Millenium Prize for Mathematics

• UnNews:Shopping assistants aspire to become serial killers

• UnNews:Virgin Shark gives birth to Aquatic Messiah

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Quote of the Week

“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Muhammed - Bonerism - CD - Dark Lord - Eggnogsticism - Fecundism strategy - Gnostic - His Holiness, the Dalai Lama - Intelligent Design By Committee - Judyism - Klestosapharot - Lo Pan's Razor - Maximus the Lesser - New Clothes, (Emperor's), The - Pascal's wager - Quakerism - Reincarnation - Soonerism - The Great Flood - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Worshippers of the Absolutely Amazing Electric Jellyfish - Xenu - Yad -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Angry Atheist - Baal - Cyndi Lauper - Discalced Carmelites - Eris (Space) - Feng shui - Greek mythology - Holy Habits: Lingerie for Nuns - Intolerance - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - Nun - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Ramayana - Santa Claus - The Holy Ghost - U2 - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini