Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Atomic Mass

Atomic Mass is the church service held every Sunday for Christian Scientists. Pioneered in 1951 by Nobel Prize-winning chemist Glenn T. Seaborg, it is a highly modernized service that combines centuries-old Christian tradition with contemporary scientific concepts. Contrary to most uses of the name "Mass" for Christian services, Christian Scientists are not in fact in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church, retaining the name instead because of its scientific connotations.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Former Primate of Utrecht Thomas Gibbon resigns in disgrace

• UnNews:Meditating monks accused of sleeping on the job

• UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Papal proclamation to procure profit for prophet

• UnNews:Hey, that guy, you know, the one on South Park, he's dead

• UnNews:OU Coach Bob Stoops: Boise St. must've cheated, somehow

• UnNews:Limbo closes, millions homeless

• UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

• UnNews:Taliban vows to wipe out literacy in our lifetimes

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Quote of the Week

“It's the smart way to get out.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Jehovah witness protection program

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Allah: The Annotated Version - Bible Adventures - Change Management - Deviled eggs - Eggnogsticism - Fred Phelps - Guy Fawkes - Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition - Irreducible complexity - Jerry Falwell - Karma - Lo Pan's Razor - Maximus the Lesser - Noddy - Plan B - Quakerism - Racism - Smeg - The Pilgrim Fathers - Unitarian Universalism - Voidism - Wu-Tang Clan - XBible 360 - Yad -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Adam - Barbie doll worship - Creation - Deity Election - Exorcism - Faith - God vs. New York - Heretic - Intolerance - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mentalist - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Rapist - Smart - Tao - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini