Jean-Luc Godard

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'I am a doomed revolutionary French love machine Jean'.

Jean- Luc Godard (1930-2022) was a French statesman, bicyclist and film maker. His films were made to drag countless dates to their dooms. The reason for this was that French was often mistaken for an erotic language and that exposure to it therefore would cause some sort of sexual activity. Unfortunately this was never, and will never be the case. The abscence of promiscuity in movie theaters, caused by the raw dullness of Godard's films combined with the obviously unsexy French tounge, made him hugely popular among single men with a perverted interest in French culture. They were no longer ashamed of frequenting movie theaters, since most of these now were completely deserted, without female company . For this achievement he was awarded the Order of the Beaver, grand cross, by the Latvian Academy of the Fine Sciences in 1992. He was commonly recognized as one of brighest shining stars on the sky of artistic pornography.


Godard saluting the Wermacht as it seizes Paris in 1941

Godard was born in an unknown chateau somewhere in France in 1931 as Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX jr. His father was the famous last arch-duke of Greece, Giorgios Gaiopapastinopoulichalismegmaflexitraposidinis IX. Godard later shortened his name to Jean-Luc Godard.

As a young boy Godard was keen bicyclist, working as delivery boy for multi-national corporation. Tragically, his career came to an abrupt end as his bicycle was stolen by John Zorn, and he was forced to a bohemian lifestyle. The once hardworking and honnest Godard now turned in to a full-feathered intellectual, as he was becoming addicted to women, wine an cheap pornography. Consequently he became broke.

Goddard was a Marxist, however, not in the usual sense if the words. He said in an interview with Playboy magazine: "I don't get it. Everyone's talking about the 'political ramifications of my Marxist tendencies.' I just fucking love Groucho."


Godaard died after drinking far too much fine wine one night. He was 88. His funeral was sponsored by Gauloises Blondes, in conjunction with the French government.


In 1959, Godard directed the innovative cooking documentary About the Souffle. He retired soon after Brigitte Bardot turned him down for Serge Gainsbourg. A smelly French musician. Deeply unhappy with this rejection Godard worked with the Rolling Stones on their mathematical film in English One Plus One Equals Two Dead Men at our Concert. Godard retired again.


  • Every single movie Quentin Tarantino has ever made is completely composed of Godard quotes.
  • Samuel Beckett wrote Waiting for Godard after Jean-Luc stood him up on a date.
  • Had sex with all the women he cast.
  • His final film, Film Capitalisme, is notable for being the first and only film spoken in Serbo-Francoation, a language Godard created himself.

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