Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

New Cooler Edition

Hey, kids, wanna hear something cool?! Listen up, 'cuz we're gonna talk about the coolest guy that ever lived...Jesus!

I'll bet you think the Bible is boring, right? Wrong! The Bible is the coolest Book ever written, and I can prove it! Did you know that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles helped save Noah's Ark during the Flood?! Or that Jesus rode a velociraptor into Jerusalem!? Or that robots from the future tried to stop David from defeating Goliath!? Well, it's all right here, in the New Cooler Edition of the Holy Bible! more...

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, according to Courtnology. Unlike prophecies, this is based in fact.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Fears film may spark fresh wave of deicides

• UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

• UnNews:Increased sunspot activity cause for concern at Vatican

• UnNews:Millionaire ordered to demolish giant volcano moon base after 'secretly' building laser doomsday weapon

• UnNews:Prophet strikes, Heaven grinds to halt

• UnNews:American toy company seeks Muslim market share

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - Bible Adventures - Church - Devilution - Evil - Fecundism strategy - Grammatical Pantheon - Holy Bible: Revised Liberal Edition - Intelligent Falling - Jedi - Karma - Landover Baptist Church - Mugabetheism - Necrophilia - Plan B - Qu'ran - Cliff Richard - Scientosophy - The Holy Spirit - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Walpurga (saint) - Xristianity - You have two cows/19 -

Zombie Christianity

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Archimedes - Bill (son of God) - Church of Buffy - Deity Election - Episcopal Church - Fuck it - Gud - Herpes - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - New atheism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Spiritual - Televangelism - U2 - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini