Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

EARTH, Sol System -- The Rapture, long awaited by people who don't want to hang around to see how it all turns out, finally occurred this morning, catching even the most militant biblical literalists by surprise. At approximately two o'clock (GMT), various body parts of pious citizens across the globe simply disappeared.

"Yeah, my bad." apologized the archangel Michael at the post-Rapture press conference. "It's a numbers thing, you see. We'd initially planned for 144,000 male Jewish virgins 'plus guest', making for a maximum total of less than 300,000 people, body and soul."

more...

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Highlighted Image

There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

• UnNews:David Blaine to die for our Sins

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Bush expected as Redeemer in the Holy Land

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Obama's divine powers fading

• UnNews:Irish Duckists rebel

• UnNews:Militant atheist violence continues

• UnNews:Prophet strikes, Heaven grinds to halt

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“That was Zen, this is Tao.”

~ Lao Tzu on The Hydrogen bomb.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - B4 - Change - Deviled eggs - Evil - Fecundism strategy - God-Fearing Republicans - Hardline - Is the bear a Catholic? - Jesus and the Miracle 5 - Kosher - Loki - Mormons - Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God - Playing God - Quakerism - Keanu Reeves - Seven ages of man - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - War on Science - XBible 360 - Yenta -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Atheist Doctrine - Bassism - Church of Buffy - Doom .0068 - Eucharist - Freeslam - God: The Interviews - Holy Market - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Macintosh is Satan - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Shinto - Thee - U2 - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini