Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ

DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ is the third book to be written by God and the second to be written by Him in His aspect of God the Son. Published in 2006, the book broke pre-sale records as millions of Christians pre-ordered copies hoping that it would continue the themes established in the previous two volumes, and potentially clarify matters that had been disputed by theologians for the last two millennia. However, many were disappointed to discover that the title was in no way allegorical in nature, and the book is almost wholly concerned with useful information on basic carpentry.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:God sues for copyright infringement

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

• UnNews:Ireland Bans Clerical Child Sex Abuse

• UnNews:National Day of Prayer ruined by godless protestors

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”

~ God on Apatheism

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Baker - Buddhism - Church of Ross - Darwinism - Evil Jesus - Freedom of speech - Great Commission Ministries - Homosexuology - Ignatius of Loyola - Jewry - Khalil Gibran - Linguistic Creationism - Mount of Venus - Necrophilia - Picnic - Quakerism - Raptor Jesus - Sin - Tooth Fairy - Unquotable:God - Voidism - Walkentology - Xenu - Yiddish -

Zoroaster

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Atheist Doctrine - Baptism - Church of Sony - Doom .0068 - Eris (Space) - Freeslam - Gay Jesus - Heretic - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Michael Behe - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Samurai Lincoln - That 700 Club - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini