Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
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The fifty part Genesis series of plays were written by Moses (7 Adar 2368 - 7 Adar 2488 in the Hebrew calendar, ??? - ??? in the Gregorian calendar) during a sojourn to Sinai. God Himself dictated them to Moses, who complained about the sand and the heat while transcribing the lengthy tale in Hebrew shorthand (no vowels). To thank God, he gave Him top billing. Moses, however, kept all the royalties.
Moses went on to pen Exodus (a good Hebrew/bad Egyptian story about a loose cannon prophet named Moses who plays by his own rules), Leviticus (like Sparticus, but with 'Lev'. Also, Moses), Numbers (an esoteric treatise on Moses' journey from Sinai to Moab), and Deuteronomy (three one-man, Moses-centric plays), but he never again attained the success that he had with Genesis. After this five part collection (Torah! Torah! Torah! in Hebrew) entered the public domain other writers added to the canon, which were eventually gathered together in an omnibus edition, commonly called the Hebrew Bible.
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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:DIY and Carpentry Tips by Jesus Christ
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“It's the smart way to get out.”
- ~ Oscar Wilde on Jehovah witness protection program
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - Breathing - Cult of Relativity - Deviled eggs - Existence of God - Freedom of Expression - Great Commission Ministries - Holy Grail - ITSCON - Jehovah - Kosher - Landover Baptist Church - McWorship - New Clothes, (Emperor's), The - PgUp - Quakerism - Robert Tilton - Sack Religion - Thetans - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Why?:Join a Satanic cult - Xristianity - Yah-Weh-Oh! -
Zombie JesusReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Brahmin - Creation - Discalced Carmelites - Eucharist - Fuck it - Great Permissive Dude in the Sky Who Lets Us Do Whatever We Want - Holy Habits: Lingerie for Nuns - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mono - New atheism - Original sin - Passover - Quakers - Ramayana - Santa Claus - The Holy Ghost - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
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