Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
Highlighted Featured Article
UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth
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Jesus of Nazareth. Many of you know me and the deeds I did. I was born to a virgin, am the Son of God, died for your sins, and rose from the dead. Everyone knows my story, and who I am.
But do you really?
So much of my life has been just plain mistranslated, and gotten wrong. Raised Lazarus from the dead... Please! Why would I want zombie boy walking around when he didn't like me tapping his sister in the first place? In all honesty I was happy to see him gone. Or at least I would have been. It seems that Lazarus wasn't really dead in the first place. He had a peanut allergy and didn't know it. Ate one or two too many nuts one night, and went into anaphylactic shock, and then a coma. Trust me, I was just as surprised as anyone to see him up and walking around when I showed up. And I had to pretend I was HAPPY to see him too. Man, it isn't easy being me sometimes.
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The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”
- ~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Antichrist - Bourgeoisie - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - Dark Lord - Eggnogsticism - Freedom of Expression - Great Commission Ministries - HowTo:Start a Religion - ITSCON - Jerry Falwell - KoShare - Lo Pan's Razor - Mexican Jesus - New Clothes, (Emperor's), The - Picnic - Quakerism - Religious relic trading - Søren Kierkegaard - The Second Coming Project - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Why?:They Hate Us? - XBible 360 - Yiddish -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Bonsai - Church of Sony - Discalced Carmelites - Eastern Unorthodox - Freeslam - Gerin oil - Hedgehog - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - JR "Bob" Dobbs - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Magnetism - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - San Andreas Fault - The Midnight Sun - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini