Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Confession (Catholicism)
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Confession of sins is an integral part of the Catholic faith and practice. The meaning of the word confession, in a Catholic sense, is essentially the same as in the criminal. Confessional inquisitions operate in a similar way to the courts, during confession Believers are considered guilty, until proven exceptionally guilty. To save time penitents are encouraged to admit their 'vile lust of the flesh', 'drooling sin of the eyes', and 'limping pride of the phallus'. The penitent must admit these crimes so the priest may 'cure' them of their debauched animal desire with the bitter medicine of guilt. For these reasons confession of one's sins, or at least of one's sinfulness, is seen by many churches as a prerequisite for becoming a Christian.
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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”
- ~ God on Apatheism
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Muhammed - Bahá'í - Confucianism - Divine Retribution - Eris Discordia - Family First Party - Guy Fawkes - HowTo:Be a Good Catholic - Intelligent Falling - Jew - Kaspar Hauser - Landover Baptist Church - Meaning of life - Noddy - Pagan - Quakerism - Rambo - Scientosophy - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unitarian Universalism - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - XBible 360 - You have two cows/19 -
ZoroasterReligious Articles That Need Help
Archimedes - Bill (son of God) - Cyndi Lauper - Discordianism - Existence - Fuck it - Gods - Holiness - Intolerance - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Ramayana - Splenda - Thee - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
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