Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Mrs. God's blog
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Just a few words from me, Mrs God. I know you haven’t heard from me much over the years, but now that my hubby’s away…
First of all, let me reassure everyone – “God is not dead”. We heard a lot of that in the 60s. It wasn’t true then and it’s not true now. Phew!
It IS true that He picked up a bit of a coke habit – and I can tell you, God moved in some peculiar ways back then. But we’ve finally persuaded Him to face His issues and booked Him into Rehab – He said “No, no, no” for thirty years and when God says “No” it’s very hard to change His mind but He's finally checked into the Priory and we're hoping He can work through some of His issues and make a full recovery.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”
- ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Anti-Baker - Bahá'í - Cthulhu Day - Damnation - Eggnogsticism - Fred Phelps - God-Fearing Republicans - Hyena blazing - Intelligent Falling - Jedi - Klestosapharot - Linguistic Creationism - Muslim - Occult - Prophecy - Qu'ran - Cliff Richard - Stem cell - Totally Torah: Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers. - Unquotable:God - Voidism - What was God thinking!? - Xenu - Yah-Weh-Oh! -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
Archimedes - Bassism - Chromosome 47 - Discordianism - Episcopal Church - Fourth World War - God 2.0 - Hedgehog - Intolerance - Jainism - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mono - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Rapist - Splenda - Tsathoggua - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -
Zucchini