Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Faith

Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.

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There is some confusion as to whether Jesus actually rode a raptor, or had a pack of attack raptors.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Catholic Church's Version of Harry Potter

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:God Sues for Copyright Infringement

• UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

• UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

• UnNews:Heaven to be outsourced

• UnNews:Heavens rejoice as Dow surpasses 14,000

• UnNews:Noah's ark to sail again

• UnNews:Kansas education reforms: Do they go too far enough?

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Third Coming of Jesus Christ Prophesised!

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Quote of the Week

“YARRR! Avast ye maties, thar be our messiah!”

~ Any pirate on Captain Jesus.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Jamshid Bauerdinedshad - Church of the Ironic Cheesecake.Inc - Divine Retribution - Evil - Freedom of speech - God Hates Fags - Hermaphrodite - Ignatius of Loyola - Jesus Christ - Alcoholic - Klestosapharot - Landover Baptist Church - Mega Drive - Noddy - Plan B - Qu'ran - Robert Tilton - Stan - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Walkentology - XBible 360 - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zombie Jesus

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Anti-Semitism - Belief - Creation - Doomsday - Eastern Unorthodox - Fitna - God 2.0 - Heck - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mose - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Rapist - Santa Claus - That 700 Club - Un-religion - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini