Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
By far the holiest portal you will ever find. |
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Bar Mitzvah
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A Bar Mitzvah is an Aramaic term referring to a paternalistic Jewish religious ceremony dating back to ancient times. The purpose of the ceremony was not known until recently, when it was discovered Bar Mitzvahs were a way to exclude others in the community by pretending you knew something they didn't. Under the guise of "becoming a man," the 13-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy -- aka BM Boy -- would see how long he could make up gibberish words. This is because the only source of entertainment is watching the BM Boy blush while his voice cracks.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth
UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“It means every reaction is followed by an action.”
- ~ Alfred E. Neuman on Karma.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Armageddon - Bahá'í - Cult of Relativity - Determinism - Evil - Father Christmas - Grammatical Pantheon - Hinduism - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jesus theory - Kaspar Hauser - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - Monk seal - Necrophilia - Poutine - Qu'ran - Reasons to become an atheist/The Dead Serious Scrolls Version - Society of Jesus - Torah - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Walpurgisnacht - Xristianity - Yad -
Zombie ChristianityReligious Articles That Need Help
Allah's law - Bhagavad Gita - Cyndi Lauper - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Fuck it - God 2.0 - Hedgehog - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Rapist - Spiritual - The gospel according to Jim - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -
Zucchini