Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Bar Mitzvah

A Bar Mitzvah is an Aramaic term referring to a paternalistic Jewish religious ceremony dating back to ancient times. The purpose of the ceremony was not known until recently, when it was discovered Bar Mitzvahs were a way to exclude others in the community by pretending you knew something they didn't. Under the guise of "becoming a man," the 13-year-old Bar Mitzvah boy -- aka BM Boy -- would see how long he could make up gibberish words. This is because the only source of entertainment is watching the BM Boy blush while his voice cracks.

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Highlighted Image

If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope concerned about spherical earth

• UnNews:God Rewrites the Bible

• UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

• UnNews:Police seek prophet in attempted herbicide

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Hey, that guy, you know, the one on South Park, he's dead

• UnNews:Higher Power denies responsibility for dead bride

• UnNews:Man sues God; is smited

• UnNews:Satanic front group convenes in Vienna

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

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Quote of the Week

“It's only a comedy because people get submerged in dung.”

~ Dante on The Divine Comedy

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Allah: The Annotated Version - B4 - Church of Ross - Dark Lord - Evil Jesus - Family First Party - Global Panic - Horn Book - ITSCON - Jesus Christ - Alcoholic - Kabbalah - LaVeyan Vegetarianism - McJesus - Noddy - PgUp - Quakerism - Keanu Reeves - Solid Gold - The Book of Moron - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - War on Science - XBible 360 - Yad -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Anti-Semitism - Belief - Canonization - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Freeslam - God Steiger - Hedgehog - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Republican Jesus - Shinto - Twenty two - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini