Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Faith

Faith is a group VI reverse transcribing DNA virus that is responsible for the human mental disorder called religion, which is the chronic form of the lesser affliction called gullibility. Symptoms range widely among the diseased and can include headaches, nausea, suggestibility, lack of reason, hallucinations, paranoia, euphoria, depression, and genocidal tendencies. Humans are the only known host of the virus. Other animals may not have the necessary brain capacity for self-delusion.

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Highlighted Image

The Messiah, goes to Heaven for three days, to let his Father borrow His glue gun.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Pope gets new hat

• UnNews:David Blaine to die for our Sins

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Obama bows to Saudi king, triggers fall of Western Civilisation

• UnNews:Irish Duckists rebel

• UnNews:Military seeks to accommodate all religious faiths

• UnNews:Roman Catholic Church changes name to "We Hate Abortion"

• UnNews:Stop dressing like whores, you whores!

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Quote of the Week

“Dickness is a side effect of being human.”

~ Roshi Rev. Zim_ulator on the human condition.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - Bible belt - Confucianism - Duct tape - Evil Jesus - Fecundism strategy - Great Commission Ministries - Homosexuology - Intelligent Design By Committee - Jehovah - Khalil Gibran - Loki - Mazda - Odin - Plan B - Quakerism - Ten General Commandments of All Humanity - Scientosophy - The Force - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Virtue - Wheel of Deities - Xristianity - You have two cows/19 -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Anti-Semitism - Bill Bennett - Courtnology - Discordianism - Eucharist - Freeslam - God 2.0 - Holy cock - It takes a good Muslim to work out good Islamic jokes - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Moloch - Nun - Original sin - Protestantism - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Ramayana - San Andreas Fault - The Midnight Sun - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini