Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

Zen

Zen is not. Except when it is.

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If McGuyver were a Messiah, this move would convince all infidels of his holy power to kick ass.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Autobiography of Jesus of Nazareth

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:Bishops warn against Reiki

• UnNews:God found alive, well and working on a much less ambitious project.

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Haggard still "fabulous!"

• UnNews:Duckist rebels meet opposition in Donegal

• UnNews:In space, no one can hear the call to prayerl

• UnNews:Michael Jackson reassures fans that "Show will go on" despite untimely death.

• UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

• UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

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Quote of the Week

“You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons.”

~ Apple iTunes EULA Part 10 on stupid policies (Don't believe me? Google it!}}

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Armageddon - B4 - Christianity - Determinism - Existence of God - Freedom of speech - Great Commission Ministries - Holy Grail - ITSCON - Jedi - Klestosapharot - Lutheranism - Mount of Venus - Ninja-Pirate Assembly of God - Prophecy - Qu'ran - Keanu Reeves - Seven ages of man - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unintelligent Design - Virtue - Walpurga (saint) - XBible 360 - Yenta -

Zoroaster

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Archimedes - Belief - Cheating - Duckism - Eastern Unorthodox - Faith - God 2.0 - Holiness - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jesus 2.0 - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Magnetism - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Quakers - Ramayana - St. Belia - Shirley Temple - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -

Zucchini