Portal:Religion
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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal.
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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.
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Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints[edit]
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“He did too much LDS back in the Sixties.”
“Go forth and multiply!”
Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is the official mascot for the Church of Later Day Saints, a satirical parody of the Roman Catholic Church (as if the Catholics weren't funny enough). He is essentially the same as regular Jesus, only he happens to be blonde and 100% pure, red-blooded American (not to be confused with Stephen Colbert). Disgruntled fans consider him an Expanded Universe addition only, and discount that Jesus ever had blonde hair, since he was a Palestinian Jew and all.
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Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.
Books and Other Media
UnBooks - UnBooks:God's Guide to Parenting
UnScripts - UnScripts:Genesis, Episode II: In the Garden of Eden
Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps
Religion in the News
Quote of the Week
“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”
- ~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.
Did you know...
- ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
- ...God is pissed off?
- ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
- ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
- ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
- ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
- ...Bahais have the best bud?
- ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
- ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
- ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
- ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
- ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?
Spiritually Bankrupt Articles
'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Abu Hamza - Bahá'í - Chronikkah - Demons - Evil Jesus - First Fundamentalist Church of Skepticism, Reformed - God-Fearing Republicans - HowTo:Find God - ITSCON - Jedi - Kabbalah - Landover Baptist Church - Mugabetheism - Nintendo Eightfold Path - Prophecy - Qu'ran - Keanu Reeves - Smeg - Theology - Unitarian Universalism - Virtue - What was God thinking!? - XBible 360 - Yad -
ZephyrReligious Articles That Need Help
Atheist Doctrine - Brahmin - Creation - Duckism - Eastern Unorthodox - Fourth World War - God 2.0 - Hedgehog - Intolerance - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - Neo-Confusionism - Original sin - Protestantism - Quakers - Rapist - St. Belia - Trinity - Ultimate Question - Veggiestrology - We Are Scientists -
Zucchini