Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

New Cooler Edition

Hey, kids, wanna hear something cool?! Listen up, 'cuz we're gonna talk about the coolest guy that ever lived...Jesus!

I'll bet you think the Bible is boring, right? Wrong! The Bible is the coolest Book ever written, and I can prove it! Did you know that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles helped save Noah's Ark during the Flood?! Or that Jesus rode a velociraptor into Jerusalem!? Or that robots from the future tried to stop David from defeating Goliath!? Well, it's all right here, in the New Cooler Edition of the Holy Bible! more...

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Highlighted Image

Jesus survived 40 days in the desert, thanks to his trusty automatic weapon.

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:The Nearly-Chaste Mormon's Guide to Quitting Masturbation

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Face of Jesus discovered on seabed

• UnNews:Policeman sues force because 'he needed a bloody good shave'

• UnNews:Aliens demand apology from Church

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Couple goes to Kingdom Hall by mistake

• UnNews:Falwell starts campaign against God

• UnNews:Higher Power denies responsibility for dead bride

• UnNews:Millionaire ordered to demolish giant volcano moon base after 'secretly' building laser doomsday weapon

• UnNews:Seals of the Apocalypse discovered

• UnNews:Vatican decries "Miracle Bra"

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Quote of the Week

“Eh, it's fine, really. No big deal. I'm not offended.”

~ God on Apatheism

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Agnosticism - Boristany - Cell division - Divine Retribution - Existence of God - Fecundism strategy - Goth - httpism - Ignatius of Loyola - Jehovah - Khalil Gibran - Loki - Match of Nazaret - Occult - Ponyism - Qu'ran - Reincarnation - Soul market - Theology - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps - Voidism - Why?:They Hate Us? - Xristianity - Yiddish -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Atheist Doctrine - Bhagavad Gita - Cod - Deity Election - Eastern Unorthodox - Feng shui - God: The Interviews - Horoscopes - Intolerance - Jesús - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Mono - New atheism - Original sin - Protestant Reformation - Quakers - Republican Jesus - Smart - Technocracy - U2 - Veggiestrology - Wikipedianity -

Zucchini