Portal:Religion

Portal:Religion

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Welcome to Uncyclopedia's Religion portal. By far the holiest portal you will ever find.

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Religion is the act of worshipping a creed or deity in which one has mistakenly attributed supernatural powers. 'True Believers' are also known as schizophrenic or having a neurological disorder in scientific, medical, or sane circles. It was invented by tribal leaders at least 2 million years ago in order to control and financially exploit the citizenry and in the Western proper World was still going strong until the separation of Church and State. In the 3rd or improper World it's business as usual. Typically god is portrayed as a giant bearded dragon in the sky that flies around granting wishes, and invoking his wrath. But there are other variations.

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Highlighted Featured Article

The Putz Who Stole Hanukkah

Every Jew

Down in Jewville

Liked Hanukkah a lot,

But some Putz,

Who lived just East of Jewville,

Did not!

That Putz hated Hanukkah!

The whole holiday season!

Now, please don't ask why, no one quite knows the reason.

It could be that his bomb wasn't strapped on quite right.

It could be, perhaps, that his turban was too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his beard was two sizes too small.

more...

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Highlighted Image

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Books and Other Media

UnBooks - UnBooks:Pudgic Bible

UnScripts - UnScripts:Who built the moon

Unfomercials - Unfomercials:Religious Leader Trumps

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Religion in the News

• UnNews:Westboro Baptist Church protests Uncyclopedia

• UnNews:Poor planning ruins Rapture

• UnNews:God admits "I experimented with evolution"

• UnNews:Cardinals beat Tigers in 5 games to win World Series

• UnNews:Pat Boone warns: "Christians, here come the lions!"

• UnNews:Elsuive Duckist killing Sheep release statement

• UnNews:Increased sunspot activity cause for concern at Vatican

• UnNews:Latest Bible sequel sales disappointment

• UnNews:Praying pilot jailed

• UnNews:Stop dressing like whores, you whores!

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Quote of the Week

“To think I kissed her (or him) there--and there--and there'!”

~ Sarah Michelle Gellar on Baphomet.

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Did you know...

• ...that Buddhists have higher cancer rates than Eskimos?
• ...God is pissed off?
• ...that Religion is the longest running joke ever?
• ...that Jews souls are made out of bucky balls?
• ...Glenn Beck cries on television because he's a Mormon?
• ...Zoroaster drives Uhurus Mazda?
• ...Bahais have the best bud?
• ...good Muslims only get 61 virgins after taxes?
• ...Mayan prophesies predicted Quantum Computing?
• ...the Shinto religion encourages rabid badger juggling?
• ...that Jesus Christ really hated sand?
• ...that Buddah became overweight after his dad called him a Commercialist?

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Spiritually Bankrupt Articles

Religion

'Til Eulenspiegel's merry pranks - Apatheism - Black Metal - Cult of Apple - December 21, 2012 - Eris Discordia - First Fundamentalist Church of Skepticism, Reformed - God v. Nietzsche - Hieronymus Bosch - Intelligent Falling - Jewish Dietary Laws - KoShare - Loki - Magic Pantheism - Necrophilia - Shirley Phelps-Roper - Quakerism - Ray Comfort - Scientology - The History of The World, Condensed Into One Uncyclopedia Article - Unintelligent Design - Voidism - Walpurgisnacht - Xristianity - Yah-Weh-Oh! -

Zephyr

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Religious Articles That Need Help

Allah's law - Bill Bennett - Confession - Doom .0068 - Existence - Fuck it - Gods - HowTo:Believe in ALLAH! - It's hard out here for a pimp - Jeohovas witness - Kansas Board of Education - Martin Luther King Jr. - Monk - Nun - Original sin - Passion of the Christ - Qu'ran Canker Sore 31 - Ramayana - Shinto - Tao - United Church of Awesome - Veggiestrology - Whitism -

Zucchini