Brigitte Bardot

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Miaow!

Brigitte Bardot (1934-2025) was a French sex kitten who turned into a rancid old moggie in her later years. The woman who convinced men around the world that a pout, a pose and provocation was enough to make a fantasy be turned into female flesh. She was unlike the Hollywood production actresses like Jayne Mansfield and Marilyn Monroe or her Italian rival Sophia Loren. Bardot had the looks. In France she known as a singer but when she turned 40 and finished her career in bed with Jane Birkin. Bardot like Greta Garbo said 'non' and hung up her outfits to become a dog hugger.

Back story[edit]

Too young to be active in the French Resistance in World War Two, Bardot chose to be a ballet dancer instead. However as her figure filled out, Bardot realised she was getting far more notice for her tétons than her ballet En pointe. Shortly after she met a French cinema nerd called Roger Vadim. He said something in French and wanted to take BB's cheri. Her parents said NON! and told their daughter she would be after her 18th birthday. Bardot believed Vadim's flannel he could turn her into the greatest French woman since Joan of Arc. Bardot married Vadim.

Notoriety[edit]

Vadim persuaded Bardot to move to St. Tropez and make a nuisance of herself at the Cannes Film Festival. But first they needed to make a movie together to promote. Leafing through his Bible, Vadim decided to re-create the Garden of Eden and have Bardot as a nature intended. Mainly nude and shoeless, and just to make everyone doubly aware, she was called Juliette. Vadim originally wanted to play the romantic lead but was talked out of it and instead kept to directing. The finished film was considered 'wanton' when seen outside France and heavily censored in the USA. It made Bardot a star.

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