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Such noble creatures. I could stare at this until the cows come home.

Auvergne (Occitan: Auvèrnhe / Auvèrnha) is a region of France within Occitania known to be composed primarily of cheese. Unlike the moon, which consists entirely of cheese, Auvergne is a blend of over a hundred different cheeses!


The history of Auvergne is more or less not really true and explains a number of things.

Gallic period[edit]

At the time guauloise gold sinks to the bottom of streams and small ponds in pigs snorting. Clermont is then called Nemossosau and Auvergne Avernes belongs to the most powerful of the Gallic tribes. Besides Avernus means "those who are superior. It is the serious Auvergne pete! Finally, until the arrival of a certain Julius Caesar ...

This time the Auvergne kept their love for gold and mustache ...

Roman period[edit]

In ancient Roman gate everything. Clermont is the name of unpronounceable Augustonemetum is a huge metropolis dedicated to the goddess Venus, whose temple is built on top of the Puy de Dome. The city is surrounded by showy buildings belonging to noble families and is facing a frantic debauchery.

It was at this period that the culture of Cannabis that will not cease to extend to our days in tubs and wood in this region.

Visigoth period[edit]

The Auvergne will be part of the Visigoths kingdom for 32 years between 475 and 507. It is the blood of these are descended the babar rugdbymans ASM.

Frankish period[edit]

Nothing to say about this period except that Charlemagne tried in vain to learn to read Auvergne and angry red.

This is since there's only college for the entire region.

Norman period[edit]

During the 800th Clermont called Clairmont. His name will come because it is regularly burned by the Vikings.

This time the guard Auvergne animosity inherited by the Normans, and are as dumb as the Britons.


In the year 1120 for an unknown reason the Count of Auvergne moves her away from the castle of the Bishop on the mound of Montferrand. At the time of Clermont and Montferrand are two separate cities.

From that time remains the Folies Zizi, a club atmosphere always warm ...

The Bishop shall have painted him as a cathedral in black as a sign of mourning.

Blaise Pascal[edit]

Blaise Pascal was born in Clermont in 1623 where he lived until 1655. is the only smart guy who was born in the region.

For a public place on two called Blaise Pascal.

Industrial Revolution[edit]

During the industrial revolution Clermont is a great worker cited dominated by a fat man smoking a cigar named Bibendum. Montlucon know him the domination of a certain Dunlop and smell burnt plastic covers the region. workers spend their lives between work and bistro.

Since that time the Auvergne is a communist.

May 1968[edit]

In May '68 it does absolutely nothing happening in Auvergne. Half of the population (always coconut) is mounted on Paris mangling. Some students marched through the streets for the principle and then go home quietly. However the Commies will bring back on their tractors Hippies from thousands to go green.

Since that time the Auvergne is fighting for the title of the largest region of France with roots Larzac.


Days of our Auvergne is a melting block of various tribes:

  • The Cantalous: Cantal massivment was settled in May 68 by the Hippies. The Cantalou is therefore inherently Young Cool Fun and always a bit of grass laughing and sheep's milk cheese in his wallet.
  • The Thiersnois: The city of Thiers is famous for its knives whose shape has been refined over years of Vendetta. Following the natural selection of street fighting as the average Thiernois 2m 150Kg.
  • The Montluçon: Visitors may be struck by the omnipresence of fins on cars colorful neon-lit gardens and the impeccable English. Montulçon is the undisputed capital of Auvergne inter-tunning. Why not ...
  • The moulinoise: As the local saying "it never happens at Moulins. The moulinoise are yet hairy little fellows who love to party and eat 8 times a day. It is true that they are rarely seen outside the Shire.
  • The High Loiriens: This peaceful tribe was traumatized in the Middle Ages by a monster known as the "Beast of Gevaudan. Since they build giant statues of the Virgin on top of all their hills as can be seen in Le Puy en Velay.
  • The Vichinois: Inhabitants of the ancient capital of France "free" Vichy in the vichinois keep an immoderate taste for luxury in which they are used dépuilant old billionaire came to bathe in mineral water.
  • The Chamaliérois: The small town of Chamalières is populated by the family of the deceased Giscard D'Estaing.

So we can afford an apartment for 3 cents to a few meters away in the town of Clermont, the square meter is negotiating several million U.S. Dollars to Chamalières.

  • The Aubièrois: Aubière hosts the science campus in Clermont-Ferrand. The fresh air of the plateau Cezeaux stirred neurons, we say that is where the wire was invented to cut the Saint Nectaire.
  • The Clermontiens: It is very easy to identify where just a Clermontien:

o If he is bald and wears a mustache you've undoubtedly a dynamic local company pnenumatique. o If he wears a mustache, so you have one of the workers of the factory of the firm. o If he has no glasses and mustache he worked at the Bank of France. o If your Gugus is dressed in green and juggling the public place is one of many punks in the city. o If it has a cassock is a monk or so it's carnival. o The students are very many because it is the only way the region, it seems that some would come from further afield but this was never confirmed ...


Auvergne is located in the middle of France (provided they do not take into account the overseas territories, except the middle of France should fall somewhere near Jupiter). For tourists and all those who do not know that the center of France is not Paris, you must go south for about 300-400 km.

The landscape consists mainly of volcanoes, which are all extinct. This is because the climate is too cold and wet to keep them lit: the still active volcanoes can exist only in warmer regions, such as Etna in Sicily, for example. The word volcano is supposed to designate a pile of rock that explodes and kills people at regular intervals, the Auvergne volcanoes have been known puys when we speak of one in particular (not to be confused with well: in fact the top soil Puys , themselves, and have not flooded the basement, despite what Volvic) or mountains if you talk about the whole massif.

Major Cities[edit]

Although the local population is mainly composed of cows, sheep and other farm livestock, humans living in Auvergne are naturally grouped together to form cities. Here are some examples:


Clermont-Ferrand is the largest city in the region and therefore its natural capital. It is located in the Puy-de-Dome, at the foot of the Puy de Dome. The city was founded in antiquity, and bought in the early twentieth century by the company Michelin, who hoped to acclimate rubber trees in the area. It failed, but the plant is already built, the firm established itself permanently in the city.

Tourist attraction: the town church is black and you can find a reproduction of the square Vercingetorix Jaude (pronounceable only when a cold).

Local activity is the tire.


Vichy is a spa that welcomes all those who for one reason or another, do not go to the spas of the Cote d'Azur. The guests come traditionally to treat their liver to die after several years of typical French food. The city produces mainly pellets and water vapor.

Vichy was also the capital of France for a short period, because the Marshal Petain needed to treat his liver. While he was on treatment, he was told that its offices in Paris had been bought by Germans on eBay. Rather than trying to recover it simply transferred the government to his hotel.


City original if it is, Puy (nobody says "en Velay" because it's too long and too ugly) is built in the mountains, allowing residents to go skiing in the area in winter. Le Puy has a curious urbanism: the city has no street more than 10 meters long. These streets serve only to link the hundreds of places that make up the majority of the city. On the other hand, three blocks of sand across the city to hinder the expansion of the city.

Le-Puy-en-Velay manufactures many products very interesting, but unmarketable and that is therefore not out of Auvergne. Among others:

   * The green lentils
   * The lace from Le Puy
   * Vervain Velay

Seriously, you've heard of this stuff?


This city is located in the Cantal, for those who would eventually find it. It is useless to search between November 1 and March 15, since all the roads are buried under 3 meters of snow, and there is no rental agency near snowplows. To put Aurillac, France taking a weather map and find the smallest number.


The Auvergne cheese exports that could not eat in the rest of France and other countries bearing the odor. Mineral water, courtesy of the nice volcanoes of Auvergne, is famous. In particular, Zinedine Zidane consumes between 2 and 46 liters per day.

As throughout France, there are wine producers, but local production is exported because it is only meant to be drunk by eating locally produced cheese.

Beef is an important source of revenue for the region, since, despite intensive research for several decades, today it is still impossible to get milk a cow (or bull, it does not work more). These are naturally destined for slaughter.

Points to Ponder[edit]

To better understand the Auvergne, it is important to explain the famous local saying "A penny is a penny and a cabbage is a cabbage!" This is a remark from a depth unmatched which has its origins in an ancient Auvergne accent that allowed the confusion between its "seuh" and his "cheuh" and appeared many problems as the desperate attempt to eat a piece money or pay his races with a vegetable. It is therefore an association of dentists and bankers who put an end to this misunderstanding by filing a complaint against X or Y, thus creating the end of the accent and cursed the enactment of the saying.

It is often said that the Auvergne is stingy, but it is generous, as this may seem paradoxical but in fact easily explained by ... by ... er ....

It is your song! You the Auvergne who unceremoniously! After offering me 4 sounds! (Bref. ..)

Famous Auvergne[edit]

  • Blaise Pascal, inventor of thoughts in general, with the exception of "I think therefore I am", recorded by Rene Descartes. Also invented the calculator, which is not the success hoped until the invention of the microprocessor. "I should have invented the first microprocessor. "~ Blaise Pascal about his calculating machine
  • Lafayette went to fight the English in the United States. If he had said that England is thirty kilometers from France, it would have avoided a trip of 3 weeks.
  • Jacques II de Chabannes, Lord of state the obvious, which was still alive 15 minutes before dying. This act had been done before him by Jesus.
  • Vercingetorix, who resisted the Roman legions until he sees his role played by Christopher Lambert in a cinema of Alesia. He committed suicide by leaving the room, leaving the way open to Caesar.
  • Claire Chazal, who is on TV.
  • Jean-Louis Murat, who played on the radio.
  • You, made famous by George Brassens.


Capital: Clermont-Ferrand

Departments contributors for the independence of the Auvergne

  • Allier (03)
  • Cantal (15)
  • Haute-Loire (43)
  • Puy-de-Dôme (63)

See also[edit]


This article is based on the Désencyclopédian text Auvergne, made freely available to French-speaking wildebeest gnus under the GFDL.